Are old guys supposed to give up sex? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

bullgoose · 04-06-2005, 08:43 AM

As an 'Old Guy' I kinda resent the lack of available women; I love 35+ women, but I can't find any in my area; I'm too young for celibacy! Any thoughts?

danny_boy · 04-06-2005, 07:49 PM

Check out singles sites.

doncalypso · 04-07-2005, 04:22 AM

I sure as hell hope "old guys" are not supposed to give up sex. I'm definitely not getting enough of it right now in my youth, so I hope that it will come in due time or else this life will have been a total waste.

Charlatan · 04-07-2005, 05:01 AM

What age is an "old guy"?

bullgoose · 04-07-2005, 05:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charlatan

What age is an "old guy"?

58= Old guy

Bill O'Rights · 04-07-2005, 05:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bullgoose

58= Old guy

*whew*
I still got 16 more years.

Charlatan · 04-07-2005, 05:32 AM

Nope... I'm still a young guy...

I expect to be still having mad sex with my wife at that age... it will only be the frequency that will change.

bullgoose · 04-07-2005, 06:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charlatan

Nope... I'm still a young guy...

I expect to be still having mad sex with my wife at that age... it will only be the frequency that will change.

The word you speak is strange to my ears; "wife", I know it not. Is it something to eat?

NoSoup · 04-07-2005, 07:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bullgoose

The word you speak is strange to my ears; "wife", I know it not. Is it something to eat?

Why yes, I believe it is.

bullgoose · 04-07-2005, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NoSoup

Why yes, I believe it is.

How do you prepare them? Boiled, fried, sauteed, stewed?
What's the taste like?

Glory's Sun · 04-07-2005, 08:22 AM

if old men were supposed to give up sex..they'd never have created viagra

seriously, I'm pretty young so I could be talking out of my ass here, but I wouldn't think it mattered what age you were. Just be yourself, do your thing and the women will be there. Women are everywhere, they aren't hard to find.

MageB420666 · 04-07-2005, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bullgoose

How do you prepare them? Boiled, fried, sauteed, stewed?
What's the taste like?

Instructions for preparing Wife:

1. Prepare rest of meal.
2. Share rest of meal with wife, preferably with candles lit.
3. Bast liberally with wine.
4. Remove wife from packaging.
5. Remove yourself from packaging.
6. Tenderize wife's back with a massaging motion.
7. Heat wife up.
8. Enjoy.
9. Repeat 6-8 as desired.
What does a wife taste like?

Some taste a little fishy, others taste sweet, the taste depends on the wife.

Charlatan · 04-07-2005, 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bullgoose

How do you prepare them? Boiled, fried, sauteed, stewed?
What's the taste like?

Best served raw...

Although, I understand they can be quite tasty boiled and served with fava beans and a nice Chianti...

bullgoose · 04-07-2005, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MageB420666

Instructions for preparing Wife:

1. Prepare rest of meal.
2. Share rest of meal with wife, preferably with candles lit.
3. Bast liberally with wine.
4. Remove wife from packaging.
5. Remove yourself from packaging.
6. Tenderize wife's back with a massaging motion.
7. Heat wife up.
8. Enjoy.
9. Repeat 6-8 as desired.
What does a wife taste like?

Some taste a little fishy, others taste sweet, the taste depends on the wife.

There's that unknown word again 'wife'; where do you get them? Do they keep well; the preperation sound similar to the preparation method for a woman, but I could be wrong; it's been a while.

MageB420666 · 04-07-2005, 10:10 AM

A wife is a woman with a gold ring on her left ring finger. They keep well if you keep them happy. You can obtain one at an alter, or several other places. She comes along with a piece of paper known as a Marriage License. Warning, the license is not a user's manual.

bullgoose · 04-07-2005, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MageB420666

A wife is a woman with a gold ring on her left ring finger. They keep well if you keep them happy. You can obtain one at an alter, or several other places. She comes along with a piece of paper known as a Marriage License. Warning, the license is not a user's manual.

Oh then the 'license' you speak of is similar to a MicroSoft EULA?

MageB420666 · 04-07-2005, 11:19 AM

Pretty much, except you don't get nearly as many End User rights with a wife as you do with MicroSoft.

bullgoose · 04-07-2005, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MageB420666

Pretty much, except you don't get nearly as many End User rights with a wife as you do with MicroSoft.

Does the 'wife' ever turn blue and lock up?

NoSoup · 04-07-2005, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bullgoose

Does the 'wife' ever turn blue and lock up?

On occasion - if this does happen to you, it is likely you are utilizing her incorrectly. Remember, the wife needs to breathe. Unfortunately, there is no Power switch, so it is likely the wife will become Nagging Bitch V2.1 for a period of time directly related to the amount of time that has passed since you obtained her.

bullgoose · 04-07-2005, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NoSoup

On occasion - if this does happen to you, it is likely you are utilizing her incorrectly. Remember, the wife needs to breathe. Unfortunately, there is no Power switch, so it is likely the wife will become Nagging Bitch V2.1 for a period of time directly related to the amount of time that has passed since you obtained her.

Sounds like renting might be easier; where can I rent a temporary wife?

MageB420666 · 04-07-2005, 12:18 PM

If you want the nagging, bitchy part, either piss off a coworker or get an annoying roomate.

If you want the sex, try the Moonlight Bunny Ranch in Nevada.

If you want the cuddling, attention, and support, get a dog.

bullgoose · 04-07-2005, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MageB420666

If you want the nagging, bitchy part, either piss off a coworker or get an annoying roomate.

If you want the sex, try the Moonlight Bunny Ranch in Nevada.

If you want the cuddling, attention, and support, get a dog.

You are wise, young Jedi.

dougiefresh · 04-08-2005, 01:08 AM

I'm not an old guy and I can't find enough 35+ year old women!

Aladdin Sane · 04-08-2005, 02:12 AM

As an almost old guy myself (46), I'd have to say, no, no, definately not. Sex is not to be given up. That would displease the gods, and make your gonads terribly sad. My preference is for the younger lassies. Know any who care to oblige a man with charm and experience?

bullgoose · 04-08-2005, 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aladdin Sane

As an almost old guy myself (46), I'd have to say, no, no, definately not. Sex is not to be given up. That would displease the gods, and make your gonads terribly sad. My preference is for the younger lassies. Know any who care to oblige a man with charm and experience?

If I did, I wouldn't have started the thread.

Delvid · 04-08-2005, 10:36 AM

Rent a pro. Check your yellow pages.

mattevil · 04-08-2005, 02:18 PM

My Grandpa got caught several times in the home(even a little after dementia started to creep in) after he was 90 so no I don't believe you have to give up sex if your old.

astrahl · 04-08-2005, 06:03 PM

Check around you, bullgoose. There is probably a woman interested in you who you see as a friend. We women are very subtle when it comes to signaling.

bullgoose · 04-09-2005, 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by astrahl

Check around you, bullgoose. There is probably a woman interested in you who you see as a friend. We women are very subtle when it comes to signaling.

And just how subtle are you women? About the only women I have regular contact with are my Mother and my Daughters; I have a moral objection to incest.

Locobot · 04-09-2005, 05:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bullgoose

And just how subtle are you women? About the only women I have regular contact with are my Mother and my Daughters; I have a moral objection to incest.

Sounds like you don't leave the house much. That might be somewhere to start. Classifieds are worthless, I'm sure of it. Seek to get to know women as a function of something aside from you desire to hook-up: work, school, church, etc. I can't believe that you don't meet anyone in a similar situation as yourself through your children. None of their friends have single parents?

Squishor · 04-09-2005, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bullgoose

And just how subtle are you women? About the only women I have regular contact with are my Mother and my Daughters; I have a moral objection to incest.

Ah hah. Herein lies the root of your problem. You need increased exposure and I don't mean the trenchcoat kind. What are your interests? I met a lot of people in community college and they weren't all kids. Maybe Adult Education classes? Does your city offer any kind of Parks and Recreation activities, that type of thing? Join a club? How about cruising the local grocery store looking eligible? (Don't laugh at that one - I have met some very nice men at the store.)

bullgoose · 04-09-2005, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Squishor

Ah hah. Herein lies the root of your problem. You need increased exposure and I don't mean the trenchcoat kind. What are your interests? I met a lot of people in community college and they weren't all kids. Maybe Adult Education classes? Does your city offer any kind of Parks and Recreation activities, that type of thing? Join a club? How about cruising the local grocery store looking eligible? (Don't laugh at that one - I have met some very nice men at the store.)

Hmmmmmmmmm-m-m-m; you sound kinda nice; y' gots a sister?

Squishor · 04-09-2005, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bullgoose

Hmmmmmmmmm-m-m-m; you sound kinda nice; y' gots a sister?

I do but she's not as nice as me and she's dating a yacht captain. Keep looking.

bullgoose · 04-09-2005, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Squishor

I do but she's not as nice as me and she's dating a yacht captain. Keep looking.

Story of my life; I'm considering taking the Vows; I hear the Pope job is open; I wonder how you campaign?

KinkyKiwi · 04-10-2005, 08:18 AM

lol...wow this thread made me laugh so hard..all the wife jokes i mean..and guccis viagra quote...priceless...

bullgoose · 04-10-2005, 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KinkyKiwi

lol...wow this thread made me laugh so hard..all the wife jokes i mean..and guccis viagra quote...priceless...

It's not funny if you have teh throbbing groin; I thought it would be easier to hook up with women when you get older; IT'S NOT; it's the only biological function that hasn't aged; men want to get in, but women still try to keep 'em out; I feel like a teenager with arthritis. Women need a revised perspective after 40.

KinkyKiwi · 04-10-2005, 09:03 AM

hmmm..well after i'm 40 if i'm single i wanna be with 18 year old boys...lol guess you guys never win

*hugs*

bullgoose · 04-10-2005, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KinkyKiwi

hmmm..well after i'm 40 if i'm single i wanna be with 18 year old boys...lol guess you guys never win

*hugs*

You've got a good attitude, if you stay that way even when life shits on your shoes,you won't have to worry when you're 40....or 50,,,,,,,or 60....or whatever, someone that can laugh at life is always sexy. Good days to you sweetheart, a bunch of them.

KinkyKiwi · 04-10-2005, 11:06 AM

awwww ^ you too *muah*

Willravel · 04-10-2005, 11:32 AM

bullgoose, it's time to get out. I assume you work (congrats), but you can't work ALL the time. Take time every day (if not every day, at least twice a week) to go to very public spots with friends. Grab some freinds you're comfortable with and go to the beach, the lake, the outdoor adult mall, social clubs, and group dates.
Oh...I forgot...are you in good shape? If yes, then you are the freaking man. If not, don't worry, you're average. It's not to late to get in shape; not by a long shot. This will play a big role in what and how many women approach you or want to be approached by you.
So to summerize my questions:
Do you work?
How often do you have free time?
How often do your friends share free time with you?
Would they be willing to go have fun with you?
Are you in good shape? (overweight, underweight, flabby, lean, muscular)
How comfortable are you with women?

04-06-2005, 08:43 AM	#1 (permalink)
bullgoose Insane Location: Central N.Y.	Are old guys supposed to give up sex? As an 'Old Guy' I kinda resent the lack of available women; I love 35+ women, but I can't find any in my area; I'm too young for celibacy! Any thoughts? __________________ "If I had it to do all over, I'd do it all over you."

04-07-2005, 04:22 AM	#3 (permalink)
doncalypso TFP Mad Scientist Location: Philadelphia, PA	I sure as hell hope "old guys" are not supposed to give up sex. I'm definitely not getting enough of it right now in my youth, so I hope that it will come in due time or else this life will have been a total waste. __________________ Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

04-07-2005, 05:01 AM	#4 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	What age is an "old guy"? __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

04-07-2005, 05:32 AM	#7 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	Nope... I'm still a young guy... I expect to be still having mad sex with my wife at that age... it will only be the frequency that will change. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

04-07-2005, 10:10 AM	#15 (permalink)
MageB420666 <Insert wise statement here> Location: Hell if I know	A wife is a woman with a gold ring on her left ring finger. They keep well if you keep them happy. You can obtain one at an alter, or several other places. She comes along with a piece of paper known as a Marriage License. Warning, the license is not a user's manual. __________________ Apathy: The best outlook this side of I don't give a damn.

04-06-2005, 07:49 PM	#2 (permalink)
danny_boy Crazy	Check out singles sites.

04-07-2005, 08:22 AM	#11 (permalink)
Glory's Sun Registered User	if old men were supposed to give up sex..they'd never have created viagra seriously, I'm pretty young so I could be talking out of my ass here, but I wouldn't think it mattered what age you were. Just be yourself, do your thing and the women will be there. Women are everywhere, they aren't hard to find.

04-07-2005, 11:19 AM	#17 (permalink)
MageB420666 <Insert wise statement here> Location: Hell if I know	Pretty much, except you don't get nearly as many End User rights with a wife as you do with MicroSoft. __________________ Apathy: The best outlook this side of I don't give a damn.

04-07-2005, 12:18 PM	#21 (permalink)
MageB420666 <Insert wise statement here> Location: Hell if I know	If you want the nagging, bitchy part, either piss off a coworker or get an annoying roomate. If you want the sex, try the Moonlight Bunny Ranch in Nevada. If you want the cuddling, attention, and support, get a dog. __________________ Apathy: The best outlook this side of I don't give a damn.

04-08-2005, 01:08 AM	#23 (permalink)
dougiefresh Upright Location: San Diego, CA	I'm not an old guy and I can't find enough 35+ year old women!

04-08-2005, 02:12 AM	#24 (permalink)
Aladdin Sane Degenerate Location: San Marvelous	As an almost old guy myself (46), I'd have to say, no, no, definately not. Sex is not to be given up. That would displease the gods, and make your gonads terribly sad. My preference is for the younger lassies. Know any who care to oblige a man with charm and experience? __________________ Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

04-08-2005, 10:36 AM	#26 (permalink)
Delvid Insane Location: Missouri	Rent a pro. Check your yellow pages.

04-08-2005, 02:18 PM	#27 (permalink)
mattevil Addict Location: Virginia	My Grandpa got caught several times in the home(even a little after dementia started to creep in) after he was 90 so no I don't believe you have to give up sex if your old.

04-08-2005, 06:03 PM	#28 (permalink)
astrahl Insane Location: You don't want to live here	Check around you, bullgoose. There is probably a woman interested in you who you see as a friend. We women are very subtle when it comes to signaling. __________________ Maybe it was over when she chucked me out the Rover at full speed. Maybe Maybe... ~a-Ha

04-10-2005, 08:18 AM	#35 (permalink)
KinkyKiwi "Without the fuzz" Location: ..too close for comfort..	lol...wow this thread made me laugh so hard..all the wife jokes i mean..and guccis viagra quote...priceless... __________________ Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

04-10-2005, 09:03 AM	#37 (permalink)
KinkyKiwi "Without the fuzz" Location: ..too close for comfort..	hmmm..well after i'm 40 if i'm single i wanna be with 18 year old boys...lol guess you guys never win hugs __________________ Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

04-10-2005, 11:06 AM	#39 (permalink)
KinkyKiwi "Without the fuzz" Location: ..too close for comfort..	awwww ^ you too muah __________________ Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

04-10-2005, 11:32 AM	#40 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	bullgoose, it's time to get out. I assume you work (congrats), but you can't work ALL the time. Take time every day (if not every day, at least twice a week) to go to very public spots with friends. Grab some freinds you're comfortable with and go to the beach, the lake, the outdoor adult mall, social clubs, and group dates. Oh...I forgot...are you in good shape? If yes, then you are the freaking man. If not, don't worry, you're average. It's not to late to get in shape; not by a long shot. This will play a big role in what and how many women approach you or want to be approached by you. So to summerize my questions: Do you work? How often do you have free time? How often do your friends share free time with you? Would they be willing to go have fun with you? Are you in good shape? (overweight, underweight, flabby, lean, muscular) How comfortable are you with women?