jeepgrl

Hey guys! I am new to TFP and would appreciate any advice on the "love quandary" I am in. It involves an office crush. He also lives with another girl in our office. Our office is very "melrose place." I have had feelings for this guy in my office since Christmas. About 3 weeks ago, he and I decided that we would go see a concert together. We both are obsessed with seeing live music and always talk about it at work. We also have lots of other things in common as well and hang out after work within a group on a regular basis. So he, his friend, and me all went to the show and had a great time. We went out after for drinks. Monday he was telling me how much fun he had and invited to another show in two weeks. Of course I was all excited and was like sure! Well later that week, I learned that he is hooking up with his roomate who works with us. I am not one to judge, b/c I live with two and was hooking up with one of them when I first moved in. It only lasted a couple of months though. This is a little trickier. She likes him. She has told him on several occassions that she likes him, but he has told her it is only a "hook up."
Upon hearing this news, I was acutally surprised. I didn't peg him as a guy that would do that. Well I took all this in stride and didn't give up. This past weekend we went to the second show together. It was him, his friend, my friend and myself. During teh show he kept coming to stand by me and I caught him eyeing me several times. After the show all of us went to this great bar and ended up sitting there for 2 1/2 hours. So, he invited to yet another show in two weeks. This one is an overnight trip and as of now, it is only the two of us. My brain is telling me this is way to complicated and to drop it, but I like this guy a lot and I can't shake my feelings. My questions is, should I take the plunge and tell him how I feel on this trip?

Coppertop

Don't shit where you eat. I had to learn that myself the hard way. And it wasn't a triangle in my situation. I can only imagine that would makes things way more difficult.

Best of luck to you.

Willravel

Yikes. Dramatic work places can be much more trouble than they're worth. I'd say avoid the problems of others, because they spread like wildfire.
So it sounds like he's similar to you. You hooked up with a roomate, he hooked up with a roomate.
Make sure before you guys take the plunge that he knows what you want out of relationship with him. More importantly, you should figure out what you want out of the relationship, and decide now if it's worth it or not.
Dude, that's gross.

Seaver

Amen.

Anyways he's in for the fun. If all you want is a hook up then go right ahead. I SERIOUSLY doubt he wants you for anything else. Coming from a guy behing 100% honest I've never wanted anything serious for a woman who puts out on the first date. Sure I'll continue to see them, but in my mind that's what they are and thats what they stay at (dont flame me, being 100% honest). He has the same opinion of his roommate, and I dont see much reason for him to change. Besides, that girl will start to hate you. And that's not what you need at work, and you'd never be able to go to his place and be comfterble.

SO... if you want a hook up, go get some. If you want a relationship try one without so many strings.

World's King

Hey jeepgrl (let me guess. you drive a jeep)

Did you see the big letters at the top of the Sexuality section before you posted this? Well, if you did, you should have read them. And after you red them you would have read that topic. And after that you wouldn't have posted this. Now I'm not saying you don't have a real problem. I'm just saying all the answers you needed were in that thread. So, please, read that thread. It's there for a reason. Thanks

Read this...

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Autumn.to.Ashes

That seemed kind of rude :/

People make threads for different reasons. Maybe she just wanted to get it off her chest, it helps to write things down.


and is it just me or do you swear ALOT in that thread? kinda takes away from the actual adivce. Maybe its just me..


Anyways I think you should just talk to the guy about it on the trip. Nothing wrong with trying.

World's King

Not rude at all.


The thread that I pointed out explains everything. Thanks.

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

TexanAvenger

Ignoring the rest of the post, the swearing only takes away from the advice if you're paying more attention to the swearing than the advice. What's more, the swear to advice ratio is pretty low, especially considering the importance of the advice here.

As for advice here, I echo Coppertop in full.

analog

Not rude, the forum stickies are there for a reason- one of which is so that we don't have what amounts to high-school-style "does he/she like me, what do I do?" and "I have a crush on..." threads, a dozen a day. Which has happened before. Hence the rules.

As far as getting it off her chest, that's what the journals are there for, they're a very helpful tool- people do read them, and sometimes will respond with advice. When posting something we ask you not to post in a forum due to its repetitive nature, the journals are a wonderful resourse.

As for swearing, I've found that a good message is rarely hindered by swearing, unless it's to a fucking obscene degree. I mean, shit, it'd have to be a fuckload of swearing. Damn.

HAL3000

Well said, and I agree. There are just too many variables there to make things go sour. Sounds like the guy is a player, and sounds like you have some feelings. I would let it go before someone gets burned.