Pick-Up Lines
 

Post your favorites here and if they worked.

Here's one: Let's flip a coin. Heads, I get tail. Tails, you get head.

hmm. thats a hard one cuz i never had to use a crappy pickup line on a girl.

"Hey"
Best line ever.

Hey, you wanna fuck follow me, you want head games there is a group of women over there that probably excel in them :lol:

Hi, my name's Chris, what's yours?

For anyone lacking a good pickup line, and I admit I have yet to try these, you can find plenty at The Most Complete and Most Useless Collection of Pick-up Lines.

+C

"Nice Ass, can I ride it?"

I always thought a Night at the Roxbury was quite good - Wee-ooo wee-oo wee-oo. That's the sound of an ambulance coming to take me away because the sight of you just stopped my heart.

But at a cocktail party on the weekend I asked if she was making cocktails, and if I could help, and that seemed to work for me.

I simply looks into her eyes
-nod yes-
and say:


Your Call

Hey baby, you must be an Einstein-Rosen bridge -- because I want to come in you and then be somewhere else.

You free tonight?


Or do I have to pay?

Horny..wanna fuck ?

Your momma's so fat....

Er... sorry... wrong thread...

That's great


The worst one given to me (I fell for it)

Your like a dream boat, you just sort of floated into my life.

And....(same guy) "Oh look theres a shooting star, make a wish!"

Him: Looking deeply into my eyes, "I already got my wish." Gag, and yes I fell for this one too. Hey I was 18.

Hi my names horny been that way all day

You would be suprised how many conversations I have started with that

That dress looks great on you, but it would look better on my floor.

"I lost my teddy bear- will you sleep with me?"

and the obligatory:
"Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"

Turn her down before she has a chance to turn you down.

Freshman year of college, I found myself becoming attracted to a classmate. I had just come off a bad relationship, and was falling behind in a couple of classes, and therefore didn't have the time for a relationship. So, I told her that. Blindsided her completely; she hadn't yet realized that I was attracted to her.

Two weeks later, we were dating. Seven years later, we were married. Seventeen years total right now, and I couldn't be happier.

The closest thing I ever got in a pickup line was:

"My boyfriend is in the bathroom, but here take my phone number and call me. Oh, and act like you don't know me."

The concept of the worst pickup line piqued my interest. So for the sake of humor and all future National Lampoon movies here is what I found after looking around for 30 seconds.


“Was your dad a dog-catcher? ‘Cause you’d look great on all fours!”

“I wanna treat you like a stamp: Lick you, stick you… and send you on your way.”

“So… what are you gonna make me for breakfast?”

“Hi! Would you like to sign my petition to decriminalize rape?”

[Point to your crotch] “Well? It’s not gonna suck itself!”

“If I follow you home… will you keep me?”

“Was it love at first sight or should I walk by again?”

“Wanna hear my design plans for my portion of the AIDS quilt?”

“Pardon me, which pickup line works best with you?”

“I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hands.”

“Any truth to the rumor that you’re just like butter, i.e., you spread for bread?”

“Let me introduce myself: I’m [your name], the next great love of your life.”

“Can I borrow a quarter?” [“What for?”] “I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.” OR: “I want to call your mother and thank her.”

“Is your daddy a thief?” [“No.”] “Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes?” [Be ready with a snappy answer in case they say “yes.”]

“You’re so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.”

“Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?”

“Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway.”

“The word of the day is ‘legs.’ Let’s go back to my place and spread the word.”

“Are your legs tired from running through my dreams all night?”

“That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.”

“My name’s [your name]. That’s so you know what to scream tonight.”

My name’s [your name], but you can call me “lover boy”

“Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?”

“Your daddy must have been a baker, ‘cause you've got a nice set of buns.”

[Look at her shirt label. When she says, “What are you doing?”] “Checking to see if you were made in heaven.” OR: “Checking to see if you're the right size.”

“Your bra is too tight—I think it’s cutting off your circulation. Here, let me remove it…”

“Did it hurt falling from heaven?”

“All those curves, and me with no brakes…”

“If I told you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”

“Screw me if I’m wrong, but don’t you want to kiss me?”

“I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.”

[Grab her ass] “Pardon me, is this seat taken?”

“Is it hot in here or is it just you?”

“Can I have directions?” [“To where?”] “To your heart.”

“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”

“How about you sit on my lap and we’ll see what pops up?”

“Do you know what’d look good on you? Me.”

“I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?”

“Do you have a little [Jew, Italian, Irish, etc.] in you? Would you like some?”

“Ugh! Me have boner!”

[Tap your thigh] “You just think this is my leg.”

“Say, that’s a nice [dress/outfit/article of clothing]. Can I talk you out of it?”

“I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?”

“I hope you know CPR, ‘cause you take my breath away.”

“Excuse me, is that semen in your hair?”

“My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.”

“You must have a mirror in your pants, ‘cause I can see myself in ‘em.”

“Let’s play house. You be the screen door and I’ll slam you all day long.”

“Some guys buy really expensive cars to make up for certain shortages…well, baby, I don’t even own a car.”

“You must be a parking ticket because you’ve got “fine” written all over you.”

“Your dad must be a plumber ‘cause girl, you the shit!”

“My love for you is like diarrhea—I just can’t hold it in!”

“Are you from Tennessee? ‘Cause you the only ten-I-see!”

“It’s a good thing I brought my library card ‘cause I just checked you out!”

“I beg your pardon, but weren’t you Julia Roberts’ body-double in the movie Pretty Woman?”

“If you were an ice cream pop, I’d carefully remove your wrapper, slowly start licking around the edges, and methodically nibble until you were melting in my hands. Then I’d take the empty stick, break it in half, and throw it in the trashcan.”

“Your body’s name must be Visa, ‘cause it’s everywhere I want to be.”

“I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I could make your bed rock.”

“I may not be the best looking guy here… but I’m the only one talking to you.”

“I can’t find my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheep hotel room…”

“If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you’d be a McGorgeous!”

“You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away!”

“Are those space pants you’re wearing? ‘Cause your ass is out of this world!”

“I hope you’re not wearing a bellybutton ring. I’d hate to accidentally poke my eye out later on tonight…”

“Do me! I’m married—but I have a Porsche.”

“Excuse me, I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?”

“Hey, rabbit—Come eat my carrot!”

“Wanna go halfsies on a baby?”

I either say Hi or just ask an opinion from her.

I love the "halfsies on a baby" line though- it can either be somewhat offensive, or extremely offensive based on how you interpret it.

"Would you care for a drink and, if time permits, some intercourse?"

My friend actually did this at a bar twice. First time got him slapped (pretty hard too) the second time got him laid.

You like apples?
How about I fuck you up the ass!
How about them apples.

Pretty corny but it worked. Then again he was good with the ladies.

Oh yeah forgot this one.

You must have Windex in your pants cuz I can see myself in them.

Or talk about their Nationality and say something like:
Do you have any Italian in you?
If they say no you say Want some?

I've never used them. One of my personal faves would be

"Damn girl you're so fine I wish I was crosseyed so I could see TWO of you!"

I'll never use it though. Ever. I usually just say "Hi" sometimes I don't have to say anything at all. They approach me. Those ones are the sweetest.

That one line they used in that Movie Hitch where he handed that girl some money though was cool as shit. Too bad they ruined it by putting it in a fuckin movie.

Asta!!

I like that one, I'll have to try it on my wife later. :thumbsup:

"Hi, you'll do."

It hasn't worked yet, but I'm not willing to give up on it yet.

"Hi."

Seriousally. Pickup lines are for those who can't think on their feet. Unless you're just trying to be funny... then their just silly/dumb.

A friend and I went around a club once saying as many of them as we could to the girls. We actually had a good responce because we made it obvious we were just fucking around.

That link is quality!! I laughed my ass off for about an hour!

A friend of mine in college always tried to use "I'll go down on you if you go down on me," with drunk college girls. He actually made a few friends that way, although I don't think anybody actually took him up on the offer.

Very naff, would never use them, but here's some anyway....

How do you like your eggs.... fertilized!

Get yer coat, you've pulled!

If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me ?

You're like the garden of eden. May I sow my seeds in you ?

Shall I wake you for breakfast ?

"If we were a couple of squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?"

You:"Do you know anything about Polar Bears?"
Her: "Not really"
You:"They break ice. Hi my name is XXXXX"

*Put your hand under your nose covering the lower half of your face*
"How would you like to see THAT for 2 hours minimum"

boy you sure is pretty... can i take you home!

Thassamazing! I'm so tempted to use that one!

A simple hi and a wise ass joke has never worked for me..... though I really don't need pick up lines anymore.

nice shoes, want to fuck???

Hey babe, want to see my collection of pubic hair?

I had a friend that would use "How about a pizza and a fuck?" When the girl would start to blow him off, he'd say, "If that's too much, we can skip the pizza."

I never had the nards to use it myself.