ElwoodBlues

One of my best friends, (who also happens to be my roomate) suffered a terrible blow tonight.

His girlfriend of over a year revealed to him that she has been cheating on him for some period of time. Now, my roomate was absolutely head over heels for this chick. He was plain and simple MADLY in love with her. And now he is simply crushed.

I would like to help him in any way I can. I told him I'm here for him, and will help out any way I can. Has anyone gone through a similar experience, and may know of anything that can help ease the pain/make him feel a little better about things?

Thanks in advance

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visotech

If the relationship is over then try to keep him occupied that way he dosen't lounge around in sweats all day thinking about it.

balefire88

My last girlfriend cheated on me, and although it was just one kiss, it signalled the end of our relationship. The difference in my situation was that the relationship had been stale for a couple months, so I wasn't completely crushed, but I was still quite hurt.

Just as visiotech said, keeping him occupied is the best thing that comes to mind. The worst times, as with almost any breakup, are when you're doing nothing, and you feel yourself going crazy because you keep thinking it over in your head over and over again, asking yourself if you could have done something different, and even questioning your own self-worth. If he's doing other stuff, there'll be a much lower chance he'll go back to thinking about it.

However, if I'd also be careful not to seem over-bearing about asking him to do stuff. If he says no rather strongly, be willing to respect that he'd rather be alone at that point. Keep in mind that you can't shield him from the pain forever, and he has to experience it so he can get over it.

My feeling, after having gone through something simlar, is that time is the only thing that can heal such wounds, although that sounds so cliche. Good luck to your friend, and I hope he can get over it as soon as possible. And kudos to you for caring enough.

Seaver

Take him to a titty bar. That always eased the blow for me when my friends dragged me to one even though I always fought it.

aberkok

Be a good role model for your friend. Be there for him, but don't treat him like a child, i.e. you can leave him alone and make plans to go out without him. Time should bring on the biggest change in attitude, and hopefully in a few weeks he'll realize that things aren't so bad.

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pig

Well, that sucketh to high heaven, but it happens...echoing the sentiments of those above, just be a friend. Sometimes you'll have to listen, sometimes you'll have to commisserate, sometimes you'll have to help distract. I think you're in a relationship right now - it might be a nice gesture not to necessarily get your funk on with your special lady too much around him...other than that, just be on the watch for extreme emotional reactions. Best of luck to him.

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lunchbox

a prostitute. okay not really. I don't have anything to help really. I've been in that situation and there's not much that helps. Friends thinking about you does, but you really just have to take some time to yourself and reassure yourself that whoever cheated on you is a bad person and its not your fault. Its hard to get out of the "why was i easy to cheat on" mentality.

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ironmaiden7o7

A very good friend of mine just found out also that her boyfriend has been cheating for the past 2 years. In relationships, these things happen, the best thing you can do for your friend is speak to him, be there, listen to him, help him stay strong and hopefully soon enough, he will realise that he is better off and she wasn't right for him. Sometimes, it's best to just listen and not say anything atall unless you are asked for your opinions. Take him around other people, let him see that the world is beautiful with other people that won't hurt him. I can only imagine what he is going through.

braisler

What is he really into? Besides the chick that was screwing around on him. Is he a movie buff? Does he love to go skiing? Mountain biking? Find something really engrossing and fun and get out there and do it with him. I find that intense, fun activities can lessen the emotional pain and loss that he is probably feeling right now. He needs to see that life can be really fun and enjoyable without this chick.

And for Pete's sake, don't try to set him up with a new girl or even take him into situations where he is likely to pick up chicks. Rebound relationships suck.

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pig

I think it depends on whether you know you're rebounding, and whether the person you're rebounding with knows you're rebounding. If everything is on the up and up, rebounds can be delicious. Scrumptous. Sometimes it takes a little bit of scromp to really drive 'em out. At least that way when you get those funny feelings from the man below, you've got new images to think about.

/maybe off subject - no threadjack intended. I'm just saying don't cockblock the guy.

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doncalypso

Get a gun and shoot the fucking slut and the guy she with whom she was cheating on your buddy. When you're done killing those idiots, do whatever you can to hurt their families as well.

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pig

Put him in touch with doncalypso for some anger management therapy

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former newt

get a group of friends together and just hang out. in a period where he may feel like he's not wanted, being around friends who care should only help.

c172g

sex with someone else always helps. revenge sex, rebound sex, whatever sex you can get him, just make it happen. Once he's crossed that bridge he's on his way to getting his shit straight. Before or after the sex, do what doncalypso said, just don't get caught. Then the sex will be with his cell mate.

doncalypso

I am doncalypso and I approve this message.

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dlish

give him space, time..he'll sort it out once his mind clears. just give him support but dont be over bearing

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thalakos315

well... if the relationship isn't over, then it should be.
my ex gf left me for my best friend, and being the shmuck i am i tried to ignore it *sigh* of course it didn't work..

my advice for a speedy recovery would be to give him a night and a day of completely selfish misery.. then get him drunk and agree with every petty bitch he has about her, but refrain from stating your own opinions, or you'll never hear the end of it

then, once the pathetic self pity seems to be mostly out of his system.. get him laid

best way to get over someone is to get under someone else

abaya

Hmm, I don't agree. Does revenge sex actually HELP you get over it and grow up, in the long run? Seems unhealthy to me... from what I've seen, it's far too easy to have revenge sex instead of feel the pain and deal with it, which is really what should be going on if someone wants to truly heal and be more mature, rather than take a quick fix. But I know this is just my opinion, who knows what I'd do in the same situation.

I'd like to take a poll on guys vs. girls in who does revenge sex more... I think it might be guys, but I know a lot of girls with low self-esteem who do it, too.

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indigochild111

Revenge sex is a baaaad idea. 'Specially kinda knowing the friend. Be supportive. Be there. Don't push him into drinking but if that's what he wants then be right there with him. But make sure YOU are taking care of HIM.

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nulltype

Haha, maybe he should shoot himself for pursuing a women with an unproportional return interest.

+C

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KinkyKiwi

lol doncalypso!!

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fuzyfuzer

you could help him in any way you feel comfortable with because it is hard when you find out your girlfriend cheated. i know because it happened to me. i wasn't able to see anyone for three years because of some circumstances but now i think i am better off because of it, the person i am seeing is perfect in most ways it seems. just remind him that this is still a future and things to wake up to every day.

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