Who's keeping count?
 

My roommate is out of town...I came across her day planner and flipped through the pages. I found what can only be described as her Sex Log. She has been keeping track of when and where she and her boyfriend have had sex. She also is keeping a running count.

I realize that this is none of my business, but I am completely baffled. It has never occurred to me to keep a list of this. I am just curious if anyone else does this, or if anyone thinks this is as bizarre as I do.

The real question is: Is she getting more than you!?!?!

I haven't ever done this, but I knew a girl who did the same thing in her diary. Nice to see people enjoy sex so much that they document it!

It reminds me of that old tale of putting a penny in a jar every time you have sex. Once you are married, take a penny out of the jar every time you have sex. Supposedly, the jar will never empty.

I don't keep a journal or diary, but at one point, I attempted to look back and document what I had been through. Once I got married, it didn't matter anymore. Okay, it probably never mattered. And the penny thing, I don't agree. But that's just me. I've talked to many single friends, and they aren't having sex as much as I do.

In my permuscious days, I kept an excel sheet of names, phone numbers, and if there were any possible "exposures".. just in case.. luckily I never had to refrence it.. it's gone now that i'm engaged.

We don't keep track of every individual time, but we'll occasionally go back and estimate how many times we've had sex, just out of curiosity, and because it's fun to figure out things like when we reach 1000.

Before I was with my SO, I kept a diary in which sexual encounters were recorded along with the other mundane things in my life, so it wasn't a sex diary per se, but that was one function of it.

Ha no, though I think it'd be the best to try and remember it by the condoms you have bought, that is if you use them.

I use to keep track. I think we got to 10 and then we forgot how much after that. I remember going threw lots of boxes of condoms though. 4 years together. Maybe I could start keeping track just to see how much we ave. every month.
Some ppl keep track so that they can remeber, when or who got them knocked up.

Maybe I should start one of them just to show my boyfriend that we do have a good amount of sex. He seems to think I have been slacking lately. I think I have no testosterone in my body.

I don't know the relevence, but here is another viewpoint. My SO & I had different opinions about what was frequent vs. not enough. This is not a subject I would ever raise, but also one that when asked I would honestly answer that I wished we got together more regularly.

One day she got out a calendar going back several months and read the week by week account with the days we got it on and the days we didn't - and the reasons for the didn'ts. As she sat there going "and on Thursday the 5th of June you got lucky ..." I felt more and more upset because while I thought we'd been spontaneously taking advantage of the times she wasn't ill or tired or upset/depressed she was actually thinking in the back of her mind "another lucky x in my chart for him".

I feel that there are things you don't record because you aren't supposed to make lists about your SO or keep score. She made one anyway, and did so to score points in an arguement that I didn't even know we were having. Still bugs me when it comes to mind.

My wife and I had sex over 400 times in the first year that we were sexually active. Since then, I would say that the number has increased to a good 3500 or more. We've had sex with other partners numerous times as well...probably a good 250-300 interludes with others.

Maybe I should start a different thread to address the concern I have on this thread's topic and the content of your original post.

First of all, I really dislike any aspect of one person invading the privacy of another person.
Also, if you absolutely must seek other's opinions on a subject, I really don't feel it was appropriate to give details concerning: 1. How you came across the information 2. Whose personal information it was.

When did it become acceptable to open someone else's personal day planner and look through it? The last time I checked, this was an invasion of privacy. Maybe you figure, if the roles were reversed, that you wouldn't mind if she "flipped through the pages" because you don't have anything to hide, in your own day planner, but what if you did?? What if you had found out something that was even more intimate or personal??

I don't think these are the actions or behaviour of someone who is trustworthy, honest, mature. I don't think you had any honest or sincere intentions or concerns. Therefore, from the information given, you had no reason to be looking through her personal belongings in the first place. I also have to question the validity of "coming across her dayplanner". This could mean it was in (open or hidden) view in any room (living room, bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, etc.) of your shared living quarters or that you could have searched through your roommates things in her bedroom.

I stand firm in believing that this really was and still is none of your business, ninnycode.

And to address your topic: Did you ever stop to consider that maybe each time she's made love to her boyfriend, it has meant something to her and that she keeps record as a way of remembering? Some people do cherish intimate moments with their partners and some may feel compelled to keep a record, regardless of their reasons as to why they are doing so. Just because you don't keep record doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with your roommate doing so.

The fact of the matter is: It's her personal business, she can use it as she sees fit. Clearly, It wasn't any of your business, I feel you had no right to violate your roommates privacy.

I have to agree with Amnesia...I certainly wouldn't want anyone flipping through my day planner and that kind of invasion of privacy is hard for me to respect.

For a while when the "Got Some!" thread started, we posted every time we had sex. It got to be so we raced afterward to see who would get to pose "DING! for the lurkbastids" first. After a while the novelty wore out, but not before we'd gotten a bit of a reputation :) Other than that, I haven't kept any kind of log. I think it'd be kind of fun, though! Looking back in 30 years and seeing "Really good doggy style on the kitchen floor - came three times" would be a nice reminder of my youth :)

I did when I first started having sex...but then I had so much sex it was useless

Thank you, onesnowyowl...I was hoping I wasn't irrational. I hope I didn't sound too harsh in that post, but this kind of behaviour really bugs me.

I detect a hint of jealousy from the origional poster.....

Do we keep count?

Well after 5 years I lost track :) lol

Unless its a new partner not really much point keeping track, just do it as oftern as your both happy with.

Wow, I really should have given a bit more information, I guess. Firstly, by "came across" I mean it is out in the open, (even opened to the past week) on our table by the phone. Not hidden in a drawer or under her mattress. I don't feel I was "violating" her privacy. Secondly, we are very open with each other. We have shared details with each other about our partners and encounters. Thirdly, I am baffled because this is something I have never thought of doing. It seems a bit obsessive to me. I am not criticizing, just curious if anyone else has done this.

We did an estimate last night in response to this thread, and it comes out to about 1200 times so far, in four years of knowing each other and 3 1/2 as a committed monogamous couple living together. It's been pretty steady the whole time.

I'm embarrassed to say that last year we kept track. It was just for statistical purposes, not out of complaint or anything like that! We sort of thought it was funny to be able to say "Let's put another tic on the calendar!"

:p

I might add that to my do list for my next new years resolution.

sometimes i wish we kept track, just because it's hard to look back and estimate how many times my girlfriend and i have had sex.

i know that she used to keep track of the really good days (we call them 10-star days)... but i don't think she does that anymore. hmmm... or maybe we just haven't had any for a while. :(

Years ago (like 15) I was dating a girl who kept track with little stars on a calendar. One day I noticed a star there that wasn't mine. I suppose it was her way of confessing to me.

What a way to find out.

daaaaamn... that is just cold. that's all i have to say.

I never really wrote anything, but after 2 years ago, I kept a mental note which I can't even find anymore. Your roommate probably has a lot of free time on her hands, to keep count? Hmm, interesting. I guess she's on a mission to figure out something, just let her be. :-)

Nope - but then again I can't keep track of the days as it is.

ninny - how open are you with her SO? I might feel sort of funny if I knew that my girlfriend's roommate was checking out the sex log, depending on how well I knew her. I mean, it's more or less a given that your girlfriend is going to have a minimum of at least one other girl that will know everything you've done or thought about doing so well she could draw your fireman blindfolded with her off-handed hand. It could be a little different for her to be reading it like it was in Soap Opera magazine. Either way, not my problem. Any public areas? ie. as you're sitting on the couch, you're realizing there's an incredibly high probability that that stain is a *very* special stain, etc?

Harsh. just..... wow.

I got nuthin. That's harsh.

ahh vanblah that sucks! i havent kept count/track but now i wish i had..*sigh* another thing for me to be neurotic about

When i was younger (high school years) i kept a couple pages in my diary that said the names of anyone that i had sex with, what exactly we did, how many times, what position, and the date. But my boyfriend found it and he was mad so i ripped it out. We have talked about starting at our 1 year anniversary (may) keeping tabs and how many times we do it thru the second year, i wish that we would have done it thru the first year but the second will work! :)

I lost count at infinity.

i don't keep up with how many times total (like in a relationship i might have it 5 times a week, etc) but i keep up with who and when in my head since there aren't many. no point in writing it down.

this reminds me of tom wolfe's new book "I am charlotte simmons"... during an interview he said that he'd encountered many girls who kept a sex log much like this.

I find it interesting yet pretty pointless... unless she's doing post-graduate works in statistics.

Never kept a record, but now I am curious just how many times we have done it over the past 6 and a half years!!!!

Sometimes I try to mentally calculate how many times it's been, but I never actually kept track. I don't see any reason to...
I mean, the log of "exposures" would be a good idea, in case someone got something. But other than that, it seems kind of pointless.

I can count how many times I have

Sometimes when I get grouchy or if I'm horny and he won't step up to the plate to get me off, I'll whine that I only got one orgasm and he got two last weekend. Or something like that.

But there is no way I'm counting everytime we have sex; hence why I'm not on the "I got some thread" dinging away.

sex rules, really....

I still find this wrong. Open or not, privacy is violated. I will reiterate - nothing said can be taken for what you say it's worth...you didn't ask, you didn't have permission...her SO doesn't know that you've done this and frankly, it's really immature...definitely sounds that way...

I had a friend who did this, I don't do it. I have to agree though I don't really agree with going through other people's things but thats not the topic at hand here.