cala555

I did some searching in the forums here and heard some interesting things on the online dating. Some say it workd some don't. Well I decided about a month ago to give it a try and have not had the best of luck so far. I have emailed about 40 people and either get no answer or just a quick reply of I am no longer looking (well something like that). I was wondering if you could give me your opinion on my profile and maybe I can figure out if i have something in there that turns people off...

http://www.match.com/profile/showpro...eme=213&lid=21

I will take any opinion good or bad. I am not desperate for a date, but I did sign up for 3 months and would like to try and get some of my money's worth out of it...

Thanks,

__________________
-- CALA555--

"Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat"

Jessie "The Mind" Ventura

rmarshall

Too much information!
Just say you like sex and then let their curiosity do the rest.

C4 Diesel

Eh... Just keep at it. It's one of those things, you know? The more you try, the more likely you are to suceed.

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C4 to your door, no beef no more...

trib767

Hi Ithought I'd throw in my opinion on these services, having tried them.
I think they're a con. Firstly there are many more males than females. Women get inundated with responses to the extent you're unlikely to get a reply. Second, often you have to pay to see your incoming messages. A large proportion of profiles will be set up by non-payers and thus will be unable to read your message anyway.

I think a girl using one of these services has the upper hand and a chance of getting something out of it, if they are prepared to weed out the chaff. I know girls who have been successful. Guys on the other hand the odds are against you.

Personally I have had much more luck with singles events usually held in a bar/club private event. Sometimes with optional speed-dating can be a laugh. I'm in the uk but I'm sure there are similar events in the us. I think that these events are great because everyone is approachable as you know everyone there wants to meet people. Whether you come away with a date they are still a great night out.

Let us know if you have luck with match.com. I didn't. I'd recommend that you see what events are on in your area.

maleficent

I am absolutely the last person in the world that should mention this -- but I'm gonna anyhow...

This is your only chance to make a first impression. Take a few seconds and spell check the ad, and make sure that the sentence structure is correct. You've taken the extra step that a lot of guys don't do in a personal ad, that is, you've written stuff about yourself, go the extra step, and make it look right. (You dare to call yourself half- Italian, but then spell Italian wrong -- Tony Soprano needs to talk to you.
(Spelling advice offered from a really bad speller, what a world we live in)

You sound like a nice guy, it's a great picture (you look happy in it-- happy guys are good). Nice guys are good. Again, this is your only chance to make a first impression, you need something to make them say - Hey, I want to wink at him... I need to think about what that is...

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StephenSa

I did the Match.com thing and at first had some pretty bad experiences. I met a girl that did not look AT ALL like her photo and weighed about fifty pounds more than she had put on her profile. Why must people lie? I also played the e-mail game with several women. We would e-mail back and forth but never got around to meeting. Some were just silly. I'd get an e-mail from a member and their profile would go on about how they love sports and had a close relationship with God while MY profile was quite specific about not liking or knowing anything about sports and being quite non-religious. I wondered why they bothered to contact me when we obviously had nothing in common. I finally gave up and stopped paying but left my profile visible. After about a year a woman e-mailed me that seemed really great. Without boring you with a lot of detail we are now married. I think the online dating thing can work but its not a magic bullet and it can definately take some time.

f6twister

This was my first reaction also. I noticed a number of spelling errors which you need to clean up.

Now, as a disclaimer, you should still be truthful and not allow anyone to change who you are. With that being said (and don't forget, you asked)....

- Rewrite the stuff about your sense of humor. I haven't found very many women who want a guy who is proud of watching cartoons and liking cheesy jokes.

- There are still some women out there who like video games but again, I haven't found very many women who like to sit back and watch their man play the latest role playing game. Take it out and bring that up later.

- What are you hiding? An old lovers name on your ass? If you have something, at least put down that you have A tatoo (she can see it later).

- I find the skinny dipping and money entries as double edged entries. They can both hurt and help you, depending on who is reading the profile. I personally think that whether you like skinny dipping or not should become known after you establish the relationship. I see some women being very cautions because they never know when you are going to spring a skinny dipping date on them. Money as a turn on (again, to me) seems shallow. According to your profile, you will accept anyone who makes from $25,001 on up. So why are you making a statement that the more money the better?

- Everyone has turn-offs. Even if it's bad breath, demanding personalities, etc.

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A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. Calvin

tecoyah

Lacks confidence....grammar needs work........silly/fake perfect date

Seriously.....be the bad ass you have inside, what have you to lose by doing so.
Women (not girls) generally have little time for lost little boys and will pay much more attention to a cocky (not concieted) male.

I am not saying, lie. I am saying show that part of you that KNOWS how good you are.

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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

cala555

Thanks... I will look back through it and fix it up with some of the suggestions. It is strange that I did not see some of these things until mentioned here. I do like hearing the stories from others that have succeeded or not.

As for the speed dating that was suggested earlier. We do have that here in the Detroit area and I have thought about trying it. I read some old threads on it and it did not sound very successful. I am somewhat shy at first and I realize with speed dating it is all based on first impression (even though I realize most things are). I was hoping the online approach would allow to break the ice a little more and allow me to be more comfortable...

thanks for the advice...

__________________
-- CALA555--

"Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat"

Jessie "The Mind" Ventura

NCB

What he said. The only thing you seemed to have left out of your profile was your shoe size. Employ the KISS method. Works everytime.

Good luck!!

KungFuGuy

think about getting better pictures to. they can be highly important to visual animals like people. maybe browse other pictures and see what looks good in a picture and what doesn't.

I'm not saying you look bad, what i'm saying is that could (should?) do a lot more with the potential you have for taking a good picture. I'd recomend a good close up portrait thats almost but not quite narsacistic. if you got a friend in to photography ask them to help you out.

also, try and keep your answers short and to the point. most people don't want to read a huge essay.

basically, i'd say compare a listings that look appealing and ones that don't, and use parts of the appealing ones for yourself.

Spicy McHaggis

Get a better picture.
Your current one is grainy, dark, and it's shot from below eye level. That makes you look fatter than you are.

maleficent

Boy you guys have a lot to learn about women...

You want to leave people wanting more... but one word answers or non answers will get you ignored.

You have to figure the average woman on those sites will get anywhere from 10 - 25 or more propositions based on her ad. she'll check out the ads of those propositioning her and if there's only one word answers -- the person clearly didn't take the time to fill out the profile, so they clearly aren't interested. Women can read complete sentences and we tend to like them as responses to questions.

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maleficent

Cocky = arrogant jerk
Why would you want a woman that wanted a jerk?

Confidence = yes. Cocky = No way - you will end up with a drama queen.

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todd

I spend a lof of time online, at forums and playing MMORPGs and such. I've met a bunch of girls, most of who I only talked to for a few weeks then that was it. There is one girl, though, who i've kept in contact with for over 2 years and are now very close friends. We haven't met in person yet, but plan on it hopefully soon. Neither of us are really into the online/long distance dating thing, but I believe that if we lived near eachother we'd definitly go out.

I've never tried an online dating service, so I can't really give my opinion on how well they work. However, I personally don't think browsing profiles as if browsing for a used car is the right way to find a girlfriend, even if it is just going to be an online thing. I think it's better to at least go somewhere with a more casual chatting enviornment, so you don't have to go out of your way to contact people individually. The girl I mentioned, I met while playing an online game - The Sims Online. It was a great icebreaker, and lead to a great relationship like you hear the dating sites advertise.

For better luck, maybe try finding a dating service that has live chatrooms, or just find a nice forum like this, or public chat room to hang out in for a while and see who comes in.

bad jane

make pic #3 your main photo, it's a clearer picture and you're still smiling

other than that, a little editing. i don't think you have too much info--but it could use some structure. for example, under favorite hot spots, instead of saying

"I am becoming more and more a traveler. I prefer driving if possible (not that I don't fly, I just love to drive and see things). I like seeing new things and going to different places any chance I get."

try something more like "I enjoy travelling as often as possible. I love visiting new places, particularly if it involves a scenic drive."

says the same thing, but doesn't sound rambling. and since the topic is favorite hot spots, you may want to include a favorite trip location or the most recent place you've visited.

also, the about me section is where you can let your personality shine. i'd give it a little revamp, and maybe ask your friends for some inspiration on describing yourself. of course it is difficult to describe yourself--but you don't need to say it you do a pretty good job of saying what you are into, but you mentioned you'd like to find someone with interests you can enjoy as well--like what? i get that you want someone who enjoys travelling, but if her idea is to travel up and down the coast checking out various malls...

overall the ad isn't bad but there is little in it that makes you stand apart from every guy i know. you may want to give it a little more definition, it's kinda generic and vague--which isn't bad, but wouldn't make me rush to answer. you have a lot of pics which helps (particularly love that you included pics of your pets!). but i'd say my favorite part was your not liking fleas response. that gave me a stronger sense of your humor than the "i'll laugh at anything" comment. it's little things like that that would prompt me to contact you, you just need more of them.

sammy776

Good Luck with it cala, maybe there should be a tfp dating room.

cala555

That may not be a bad idea sammy... I have noticed a few people have met through the forums.

Thanks for the advice guys. Things have been a little better with match. I will update you if things works out...

__________________
-- CALA555--

"Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat"

Jessie "The Mind" Ventura