cavu

I thought this girl was really interested in me, she comes up and hugs me all the time, always emails me and tell me to call her, and so usually i talk to her about once or twice a day for 10 minutes or so. On messanger she is always like Hi babe, what do you think about going out to lunch, darling? I can't even tell where she is coming from, she seems serious. She emailed me asking if i wanted to go out to lunch today with her. I said sure and that i would give her a call in the morning, but i ended up talking to her that night and we decided that we would go to some cafe downtown in the afternoon. Well she emailed me in the morning before i called her, saying that she wanted to maybe go shopping in the valley too. So replyed that, that sounded cool. I gave her a call and she was taking a shower, so i left a message with her brother. I called back later and she had left. No big deal, he prob. didn't tell her.But it made me question some things. Should i pursue something with this girl? I am recieving mixed messeges. Oh, and one other slightly important detail she has a boyfriend, but i think the relationship is gone on a little too long, and she wants out. She has been hinting at it for a while, but still it makes me kind of uncomfortable. So what should i do? Sit on the sidelines let her give me instructions and see things pan out, or should i continue to go out with this girl and flirt. By going out, i mean she has asked me to go work out with her, we have gone out to lunch , and now she wants to go out to lunch again, all this with in this last week. Just confused, can anyone shed any light on what i should do next? Thanks for reading, i know that i kind of rambled on, but i am confused and i really don't know what to do next.

Thanks,

Averett

That's the only detail you need to know. She has a boyfriend. Period. Don't persue another guys girl. If she splits with him, then she's fair game. But before that happens, I'd find another available girl.

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

cavu

yeah i agree, that is why i haven't done anything, but i would assume with in the next few days to a week it will be over, after that what should i do?

Averett

First, don't assume anything. That just makes an ass our of you and me

If they break up, don't go pouncing on the poor girl.

How old are you both?

I'd just play it cool. If she's interested she'll let you know.

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

cavu

18, she is not really attached, it is like yeah i kind of have to deal with him for a while longer. I guess i will play it cool, which is what i have been doing, but she keeps wanting to talk and hang out, it is kinda hard.

timalkin

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Trinity: "What do you need?"

Neo: "Guns. Lots of guns."

-The Matrix

Averett

You can use the "shes not really attached" thing to justify it all you want, but face facts.... she has a boyfriend. So, she wants to hang out? So what! I want to hang out with my guy friends, and I have a boyfriend. They want to hang out with me, and they have girlfriends. You do know that men and women can be friends and not be in a relationship, right?

If you have feelings for her which make it hard for you to be around her, then you need to buck up and talk to her about it. "Suzy, I really like hanging out with you, but you know I have feelings for you. So just know that it's a bit weird for me sometimes, but I'll get over it. You're a good friend and I don't want to lose that."

Can you do that?

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

aintyoboyfriend

You should tell her you can't really hang out with her if she has a boyfriend.

That line should get her true intentions out in the open.

Dingo2879

It's cool that everyone who has contributed to this thread has stated that he should hold off while she is still with her "boyfriend".. That's good advice man, and since it sounds like she is into you, you should have a good chance once she is single... Her mixed signals is probably her own issues with having feelings for someone else other than her boyfriend..

cavu

i agree holding off, my quesiton really is, how do i deal with her. I don't know exactly what she wants from me, maybe we will talk about it tonight.

Captain Nemo

Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding (that is the bell of reason ringing)

Don't automatically write her off because she has a boyfriend. The term "boyfriend" can imply many, many levels of relationship that we here can't just assume means a "loving, caring, 100% devoted relationship". If I would have let the "boyfriend" stand in my way, I wouldn't be married to my wife right now, expecting our first child. In my wife's case, the guy was a young, immature idiot. She clearly had feelings for me and I called her out on it. If I would have left her alone to work through with herself, who knows if I would be with my soul mate (yes, corny but true) right now.

Talk to her

cavu

thanks for the advice, i will talk to her about it.