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-   -   How does your SO feel about you masturbating? (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-sexuality/78612-how-does-your-so-feel-about-you-masturbating.html)

Tack 12-14-2004 08:29 AM

How does your SO feel about you masturbating?
 
For those of you in a relationship, how does your significant other feel about you masturbating when they aren't around? Do they dissaprove, are indifferent, or encourage it?

My SO has told me that she doesn't want me to masturbate. She says that's her job and would be really hurt if she found out that I had. Since I respect her feelings, I abstain. I guess it's good that our sex life is extremely satisfying.

st33lr4t 12-14-2004 08:45 AM

my SO doesnt care. she has better things to do then worry about what im doing.

Daoust 12-14-2004 08:45 AM

If your sex life is completely satisfying then I assume you wouldn't need to masturbate, unless you're a masturbation junkie, and/or you won't tap her while she's on the rag. In my case, I do masturbate somewhat regularly, and I don't think the wife approves of it, but on the other hand, (no pun intended) she doesn't take matters into her own hands (no pun intended) so I will continue to 'get the sin out' until sex becomes a little more frequent.

gh0ti 12-14-2004 08:48 AM

I was in a 5 year relationship where the girl and I didnt really have the same sex drive. She was totally cool with my j/o habbits, in fact she didnt care if she was in the bed next to me.... looking back i guess that was a little weird *shrugs*

Willravel 12-14-2004 08:48 AM

I am no longer a card carrying member of the self touch club thanks to my wife. I hope I can stay out of that club until the day I die. Cheers to anyuone else lucky enough to be out of this club.

RolandGilead 12-14-2004 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gh0ti
I was in a 5 year relationship where the girl and I didnt really have the same sex drive. She was totally cool with my j/o habbits, in fact she didnt care if she was in the bed next to me.... looking back i guess that was a little weird *shrugs*

Not that weird, I`m in the same situation right now. :D

Charlatan 12-14-2004 08:58 AM

I really find it odd that people would stop masturbating just because they are married or seeing someone...

There are any number of reasons why I continue to masturbate despite being married...

Does my wife care? Not in the slightest. In fact I happen to know that she does it too.

Pellaz 12-14-2004 09:05 AM

My wife had a slight problem with it. Not the act itself, but she felt that if I masturbated, I wasn't sexualy satisified. I explained to her (over a very long period of time, because the idea is so foreign to her) that men masturbate for a variety of reasons. As a very sexual woman, she had mucho problems grasping that a man might masturbate to relieve tension, relax, get it over with, etc, and not because they wanted sex.

Carno 12-14-2004 09:08 AM

Don't forget boredom :p

Captain Nemo 12-14-2004 09:09 AM

I agree Charlatan. My wife likes to watch me masturbate (of course I enjoy watching her as well). Masturbation doesn't have to end because you are in a relationship. For someone's significant other to be offended or hurt by that seems to point to some self-worth issues if you ask me.

xxSquirtxx 12-14-2004 09:36 AM

.......................

Charlatan 12-14-2004 09:39 AM

That's it exactly xxSquirtxx... for me it is sometimes just a release.

pinkie 12-14-2004 10:45 AM

My husband and I are total wankers. :D

Coppertop 12-14-2004 11:00 AM

I live with my girl and she doesn't seem to mind it too much, unless I rub one out and then don't feel up to having sex soon after. But I'll still go down on her at that point. She also mastrubates but nowhere near my frequency. Our situation works for us.

ShaniFaye 12-14-2004 11:04 AM

neither of us has a problem with the other doing it....not that we do it much......its never been a real big part of my life. If Dave does it, it doesnt bother me at all and it doesnt make me feel like Im not satisfying him.....I know better :lol:

If it gets done its usually mutual masturbation because we both love watching each other.

MageB420666 12-14-2004 11:10 AM

I masturbate all the time, at least once a day, and it has nothing to do with how often I have sex with my girlfriend.

We both still live with our parents and probably are going to until I finish college. So we will occasionally have sex at her house, then I go home and will masturbate before I go to bed, and it has nothing to do with not be sexually satisfied, I've mainly just gotten into the habit of beating it before I go to sleep.

So to wrap up this kinda long and relatively unnecesarry story, masturbation can have nothing to do with sexual satisfaction, it has many other reasons behind it.

DaDictionaryBoy 12-14-2004 12:02 PM

My wife likes to watch too, although not every time I masturbate. We both do when we're apart and we do when we're together--although that usually leads to other things.

Rinndalir 12-14-2004 12:19 PM

My wife knows I have porn on my computer, and I bought her the vibrator she picked out as a present. So yeah neither one of us has a problem with it. With so little time for sex between different work schedules and a kid you gotta have something. I usually do it at the end of the day before bed to help me relax and get to sleep. She usually does it in the morning to wake herself up.

YaWhateva 12-14-2004 02:44 PM

i only get to see my girlfriend on weekends during the semester so of course i masturbate. She sometimes likes to get me going over the phone and I definitely do not mind that....

Tracybrian 12-14-2004 02:49 PM

My wife says she is Ok with it but it seems like she is jellous when she finds out about it. I usually masterbate like 1-2 times daily and have sex everyday too. She just dosent have the stamina I do. I would never cheat but masterbation is like a release of unwanted sexual energy.

Val_1 12-14-2004 04:36 PM

My last SO loved to masturbate as well. So, she didn't care.

high_way 12-15-2004 04:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daoust
If your sex life is completely satisfying then I assume you wouldn't need to masturbate, unless you're a masturbation junkie...

i look at masturbation as a way of intensifying my sex life with my girlfriends. ie when you masturbate you fantasize about different ways, situations, ideas etc that i would like to do with my girlfriends. same has always been for them...

even if a girlfriend doesnt like it i would still do it...

Spotila 12-15-2004 04:37 AM

she loves the fact I do it, and has requested I tell her every time I do. And it turns her on when I do it next to her to the point where she must join in.

Brooke 12-15-2004 06:54 AM

Quote:

I am no longer a card carrying member of the self touch club thanks to my wife. I hope I can stay out of that club until the day I die. Cheers to anyuone else lucky enough to be out of this club.
whew - what self control. I must say that my first comment was - Why?

ICER 12-15-2004 07:22 PM

I'm with Capt Nemo and Charlatan, My wife likes to watch me please myself. and I enjoy watching her do it as well.

absorbentishe 12-15-2004 08:23 PM

My wife doesn't know I do, or if she does, she doesn't say anything. It's more of a release for me than sexual. But... it does help with sex, I last soooooooo much longer if I've wanked within 24-36 hours of sex. Usually sex will last 45 minutes, where as 15 tops if I haven't.

Zerakule 12-19-2004 03:15 PM

My girly would hate to hear that I masturbate. She'd thing she wasn't satisfying me enough. Thank goodness we don't live together.

Reno49 12-19-2004 06:11 PM

My wife is thrilled that I'm comfortable enough with her to do it lying in bed next to her when I'm in the mood, and she's not. She sometimes caresses my balls while I do it, and it's pure heaven!

Arsenic7 12-19-2004 06:22 PM

She gets disapointed sometimes if she knows I have, but other times she WANTS me to. Basically, if she's horny she doesn't like me to (even though I last a bit longer usually) because she thinks it's her job and if she's NOT horny (she usually isn't) then she gets disapointed if I don't because she thinks it makes me want sex less, which it doesn't.

She generally wants sex WAY less then me so masturbation is something I do to releave sexual tension, usually.

Homey_V 12-19-2004 06:22 PM

Well, being that most of the time, we're two hours apart, We're both fine with it. When Im around her, I rarely do though. Mostly because the little guys too busy recovering from the last amazing sex session...

snowy 12-19-2004 06:29 PM

One of my exes was totally against me masturbating...he thought it meant he wasn't pleasing me enough or whatever...truth is I'm just hornier than 95% of males I've met and need more...activity than others. One boyfriend got totally turned on by it, which was great!

doncalypso 12-19-2004 06:32 PM

It's not like I get any oral sex from my girlfriend, so I do masturbate once in a while because she won't give me all that I want. Besides, if she would masturbate more it would make our sex life better because she'd be better in touch with her body and would know what works best for her to get her off.


But honestly, when it comes to masturbation I'm actually trying to quit it for good. I think that in a relationship no one should have to resort to masturbating because each partner should fully satisfy the other.... but in real life it never turns out that way.

brianna 12-19-2004 06:33 PM

it disturbs me that so many women feel threatened by masturbation and i'm equally disturbed that men don't have a problem with someone placing unfair demands on their personal sex life. your body is yours and your orgasms are yours and i think anyone with a healthy view of human sexuality should understand that. masterbation improves ones sex life; it is nothing to be jealous of and it should never be used as a way to control your partner.

(for my own part i'm single right now but all of my previous boyfriends haven't had a problem with my masturbating -- clearly i wouldn't tolerate such foolishness ;)).

Lebell 12-19-2004 06:50 PM

Masturbation is a normal and healthy part of human sexuality.

Only when it takes the place of intimacy with another does it become a pathology.

It can also be used to further increase intimacy between couples.

Fortunately Sexymama and I have healthy sex life, including masturbation.

screamincheetah 12-19-2004 06:56 PM

I've never been that big of a masturbator. At this point if I'm single, it's no more than once a week. If I'm in a relationship and happy, then it's almost never. My last relationship wasn't that great in the sex department, so there were plenty of times where I was left frustrated or just didn't want to be with her. A few of those times I took care of myself and in subtle ways would let her know hoping that she'd feel bad about it. I don't think she minded me masturbating, but I do think it bothered her that she was letting me down. She didn't change anything though. Oh well, that's long gone.

Also, I love to masturbate in front of a woman, and have her do the same.

Oh, also again, since I really didn't answer the actual question above, I've never had a S/O be upset or bothered by me masturbating. Probably because, like I said, I really hardly do it when I'm with someone. I can see that a woman would be bothered by it if the guy was strokin' it off on regular basis, because she's wonder why she doesn't do it for him, or why he doesn't come to her for it. I can see it bringing out insecurities.

Psycho Dad 12-19-2004 07:48 PM

Getting yourself off has nothing to do with how often you are getting it or how good it is when you get it. No partner should ever feel that it is a slap in the face to them when the other partner does it.

Edit: And my wife says she wants me to.

Ruse 12-19-2004 08:18 PM

eh she seems pretty indifferent but she "reserves the right to 'help'"...

SparklingDot 12-19-2004 10:43 PM

It doesn't upset me at all. We have talked about it, and we both understand that we have differing wants. I am perfectly fine with it, and he understands that I usually don't because he keeps me happy. So long as he still turns to me, I have no problems.

slimshaydee 12-19-2004 11:10 PM

I've never been with a girl who hasn't understood that guys need to masturbate to relieve tension fairly often. When i was 16-17 and I used to go home after having sex and masturbate thinking about it if the girl was really hot.

Prince 12-20-2004 06:34 AM

Some time back my wife discovered that I still jack off. She was surprised, but at the same time not really surprised. What really had her jaw drop was when I said that I have to do it pretty much daily. Not because I enjoy jacking off - to be honest, I don't, I'd rather fuck her - but because I am horny almost every single day, and it disrupts my ability to concentrate, and sleep.

She seems ok with it.

I could never submit to allowing someone else dictate whether or not I can masturbate. To me that's bordering on abuse.


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