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Old 12-20-2004, 11:28 AM   #41 (permalink)
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My husband isn't bothered by it. In fact, with the amount of toys he's bought me, I'm sure he loves the idea!

I used to have a problem when I knew he was masturbating. I was jealous. I couldn't understand how he could do it so frequently and at the same time not want to have sex with me. (I had a higher sex drive than him at the time, so I was ALL about the sex.) Once I finally realized that the majority of times it didn't have anything to do with sex, or me, I was ok with it.
I'll still tease him about it sometimes, but he does the same to me, so it's all ok.
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Old 12-20-2004, 03:25 PM   #42 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonsgirl
I used to have a problem when I knew he was masturbating. I was jealous. I couldn't understand how he could do it so frequently and at the same time not want to have sex with me. (I had a higher sex drive than him at the time, so I was ALL about the sex.) Once I finally realized that the majority of times it didn't have anything to do with sex, or me, I was ok with it.
I'll still tease him about it sometimes, but he does the same to me, so it's all ok.
EXACTLY... JonsGirl. I also felt the same about my SO. We talked it over and I'm thinking of getting her MORE toys. Maybe the jackrabit?
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Old 12-20-2004, 08:58 PM   #43 (permalink)
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she wants to watch me do it. When i'm not around? havent really wanted to / had to since i seeing her, and teh topic hasn't come up. although given the fact she likes to watch, she'd prolly enjoy thinking about it when i'm alone to.
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Old 02-06-2005, 02:48 PM   #44 (permalink)
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I used to have a problem with doing this quite often. After many years of being addicted to porn and masturbation i gave it all up. I promisied God i'd stop and haven't done it now for over 2 months (i know it's not much but i will continue forever). I thought this would be very difficult (especially considering i'm single right now). And it was at first but after the first month things actually got easier. Now days i'm rarely ever tempted at all. The best part is I have learned how to control my dreams too. I feel much better now and know that I will be rewarded for my dedication to God.
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Old 02-06-2005, 04:49 PM   #45 (permalink)
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Location: Charlotte, NC
My boyfriend and I have way different sex drives, I want it all the time and he just doesn't. So given that scenario, yes, I would be very upset if he masturbated because I feel as if we do not have sex enough. We've only very, very recently sort of started having a more normal, regular sex life so it wouldn't be as bad... but I would still be a bit hurt. As for him, he knows I masturbate regularly (sometimes three times a day) and it doesn't seem to phase him at all.
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Old 02-06-2005, 05:55 PM   #46 (permalink)
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My wife had some qualms about it when we first got married, but recently she's come out of her sexual shell if you will and she's been open to a few more things including masturbation. She doesn't mind if I do it especially when I'm at work and I'm gone for a couple of days.

You have to get that release somehow.
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Old 02-06-2005, 06:22 PM   #47 (permalink)
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The wife and I are very open about it. We have a little "do not disturb" sign that we hang on our bedroom doorknob to let the other one know when we're having a little "alone time". We talk about it openly and we encourage each other to do it, as it is a healthy normal human activity. She jokes about me "rubbing one out" and I joke about her "getting her best friend, the silver bullet". It's self affirming, it relieves stress and I also heard recently that it's good for the prostate as well.
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Old 02-06-2005, 06:28 PM   #48 (permalink)
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I used to masturbate probably once a day before I was in the relationship I'm in now, and I don't really have a desire to anymore. Although we both do discuss it with each other if either one of us DOES masturbate, as it is a great way to turn each other on (the obligatory, "I was thinking of you doing...", which also seems to greatly improve the creativity and longevity of sex). It used to be a normal habit, though now it just seems like a diversion.
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Old 02-06-2005, 07:36 PM   #49 (permalink)
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Wanking off is great, and if your SO has a problem with it, she has a problem with you.

Hell try jacking and jilling together. That can be hot.
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Old 02-06-2005, 07:59 PM   #50 (permalink)
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My hubby loves to know when i do it . . . our work schedules are pretty opposite . .. so i masurbate alot when he is at work . . . i've sent him pics of it . .. he loves it

i was sorta wierded out by him masturbating, i was insecure i think . .. but got used to the idea and now ask what fantasies he is having etc.

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Old 02-06-2005, 09:05 PM   #51 (permalink)
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Location: NYC
I find nothing wrong with masterbating atall. There are more serious things that your girlfriend should be worrying about. I don't mind atall that my boyfriend does it, to me it's not only safe but he isn't harming anyone but pleasuring himself. Noone should tell you whether you can or can't masterbate, it's your choice.
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Old 02-07-2005, 08:45 AM   #52 (permalink)
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Location: New York
I know that my boyfriend masturbates but it doesn't bother me at all, I actually like to watch sometimes The way I look at it is, I would rather him satisfy his own sexual urges (if im not around) rather than get some other girl to do it. Also he said that even if we lived together he would still do it, because its just normal for a guy to do.
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Old 02-07-2005, 12:11 PM   #53 (permalink)
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am not in a relationship now but when i was, our sex like couldnt be better. masterbation was part of our sex life, was a turn on for me and a turn on for her. I can honestly say i thought about her when i was doing it, But i do understand where she is coming from.
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Old 02-10-2005, 04:35 PM   #54 (permalink)
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I don't masturbate because it just doesn't feel good enough to be worth the effort when I'm by myself. I don't mind my SO masturbating, at least not while he is home alone, but when I am there, I like him to come hang out with me while he does it so I can feel "involved". I don't really know why he insists on doing it by himself but I don't make a big deal about it. If he doesn't want me looking at his porn he can just turn his computer away from me :P
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Old 02-10-2005, 05:33 PM   #55 (permalink)
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I encourage my SO to do it. Since we started dating, I've almost completely lost the urge for myself, even when it's been a week or more. *shrugs.
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Old 02-10-2005, 05:49 PM   #56 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tack
My SO has told me that she doesn't want me to masturbate. She says that's her job and would be really hurt if she found out that I had. Since I respect her feelings, I abstain. I guess it's good that our sex life is extremely satisfying.

Tack... My guess is that your relationship will be in trouble if there is a change in your SO's sex drive.....

My SO and I are very open about this issue and realize that it is much better option than ever being tempted to go outside our relationship for satisfaction.... While waiting for my SO's drive to return is always preferrable to me over masturbation, I know that changes to her drive have sometimes lasted for years before returning to normal. (Having our second child had a big impact on her.) Thankfully she made it easy for me to be her partner... she was just happy for me to be happy.... she even helped out a lot... he he

Trust me... after you have had kids... or other age related changes have occurred your individual sex drive may change.... many many do. What will you do then?

The problem is all in your partners head... why would your SO not want you to be happy?
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Old 02-11-2005, 03:24 AM   #57 (permalink)
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eeer....why the hell not? Masturbation is perfectly normal and healthy. Being jealous about it seems prudish/immature sexually and a complete misunderstanding of the point of masturbating. Sometimes people just wanna have fun...on their own. Orgasms you give yourself are different from ones you get from someone else. Masturbating is a release and tension buster. It does all sorts of good things to your body. It can be foreplay to sex with your SO, or it can be something you share with yourself.

I personally admit I don't have the easiest time doing it in front of my SO, but I am a product of society and still have a few hang ups about it. I don't give a toss if he does it and the same goes for him, as far as I know. It's not even an issue. Seems a shame to create a problem over something so trivial...there are MANY more important things in a relationship.

edit: I think it's silly to abstain if you want it, and I think she's even sillier for thinking it's alright for her to demand this of you. At the end of the day, you should be your own person. Talk to her about it, that is in no way a good long term solution.
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Last edited by little_tippler; 02-11-2005 at 03:26 AM..
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Old 02-11-2005, 03:48 AM   #58 (permalink)
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Location: Elysium
Quote:
Originally Posted by little_tippler
eeer....why the hell not? Masturbation is perfectly normal and healthy. Being jealous about it seems prudish/immature sexually and a complete misunderstanding of the point of masturbating. Sometimes people just wanna have fun...on their own. Orgasms you give yourself are different from ones you get from someone else. Masturbating is a release and tension buster. It does all sorts of good things to your body. It can be foreplay to sex with your SO, or it can be something you share with yourself.

edit: I think it's silly to abstain if you want it, and I think she's even sillier for thinking it's alright for her to demand this of you. At the end of the day, you should be your own person. Talk to her about it, that is in no way a good long term solution.
AMEN sister!

As for myself I encourage Loverboy to jerk off when ever he wants
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Old 02-12-2005, 07:37 PM   #59 (permalink)
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I don't care if my husband does it, I do it too. We've done it a couple times together infact! I know he doesn't care about my doing it either when he buys me the stuff We still have a great sex life so we see no harm in it.
As long as you still have a great sex life I think it's silly for someone to get upset over it, but that's just me. I know everyone has the right to their own opinion.

Last edited by Apache; 02-12-2005 at 07:40 PM..
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Old 02-12-2005, 08:27 PM   #60 (permalink)
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Location: Long Island, NY
In the begining It was never an issue because her sex drive was out of control. Since then she went on the birth control patch, and her sex drive decreased alot. So she's fine with me taking care of myself. Most of the time I even do it in bed next to her, she like that I touch her ass or play with her tits while I do it. She knows I have porn, but prefers if I look at pictures of her.. So, it all works out.. When she did have a strong sex drive she used to take care of herself in the morning, I guess that was when she was mostly horny, and I wasent around. I wasent too crazy about the idea, but thought it was hot non the less.
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Old 02-18-2005, 08:46 AM   #61 (permalink)
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I have always wanted lots & lots of orgasms, and so I always make sure I get them. I think sometimes guys find it threatening. Once on a hot beach my then b/f was so not into it, that I sent him off to get water and got myself off while he was gone. ( It was a more or less empty, naked beach) when he came back he noticed how wet my pussy was and seemed impatient. boring...
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Old 02-18-2005, 09:37 AM   #62 (permalink)
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Mine gets off on it.....

I love my life.
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Old 02-18-2005, 11:37 AM   #63 (permalink)
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mine got kinda bent out of shape when I told her how often I do it.. I dont mind her doing it.. she was more like how come I do it soo often (atleast once a day). I tried to explain that it was just a thing i liked doing.. she kinda got it.. but not really.. she just doesnt bring it up anymore.
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Old 03-07-2005, 11:02 AM   #64 (permalink)
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Me and my love wank all the time. If we're horny and not together, we'll play with ourselves. Sometimes we'll even sit down to a good classy (ha!) movie and wank together.
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Old 03-07-2005, 04:39 PM   #65 (permalink)
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Location: San Diego, CA
At first she was a little surprised when I told her I still masterbate even though we are togather. (Come on ... we're in a long distance relationship!) Then she kinda got freaked out because she found that I masterbate to porn....come on... Anyways shes ok with it now, sometimes she asks me if I have masterbated when im not in the mood for phone sex lol. But I have gotten her to open up and she says she likes to watch me go at it, and I like to watch her as well. But if I could only get her to start doing it to herself more often - seems like she'll only touch herself during sex or during phone sex.
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Old 03-07-2005, 04:43 PM   #66 (permalink)
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I don't know.

Maybe she'll read this and answer.
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Old 03-07-2005, 04:43 PM   #67 (permalink)
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I don't really think he cares...I like to tell him about what I do to myself when hes not around and it seems to turn him on..and he likes to watch..I wish he wouldnt masturbate so much since he has sensitivity issues but it turns me on thinking of him wanking
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Old 03-08-2005, 11:45 AM   #68 (permalink)
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My SO doesn't mind me masturbating. In fact, she gets disappointed because she didn't get to watch. Turns her on to watch me.

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Old 03-09-2005, 02:48 PM   #69 (permalink)
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Location: Out on a wire.
She couldn't care less whether I masturbate when she isn't around. The only problem would be if I were masturbating while avoiding sex with her, and that ain't going to be happening. Hell, when she's around, but not in the mood herself, she doesn't mind taking care of it for me.

I certainly wouldn't begrudge her enjoying herself when I'm PMSing and in no mood to be touched sexually.
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Old 03-09-2005, 03:00 PM   #70 (permalink)
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Location: Long Island, NY
Quote:
Originally Posted by greeneyes
My boyfriend and I have way different sex drives, I want it all the time and he just doesn't. So given that scenario, yes, I would be very upset if he masturbated because I feel as if we do not have sex enough. We've only very, very recently sort of started having a more normal, regular sex life so it wouldn't be as bad... but I would still be a bit hurt. As for him, he knows I masturbate regularly (sometimes three times a day) and it doesn't seem to phase him at all.

Wanna Trade So's? Seems like the sex drives would match up then
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Old 03-09-2005, 10:12 PM   #71 (permalink)
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My SO is so-so about masturbation. (How do you like that one...) I think I've seen her do it once, and she's seen me do it several times. (Together 8 yrs.) I fantasize about doing it in front of her (in the shower, in bed next to her), and occasionally the urge surfaces and I feel that if she's not okay with it, she not okay with me, so it happens. I find that she's willing to help me by kissing or fondling me while I'm doing it, but I'm never quite sure if she's turned on or just obliging me. I think the latter probably.
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Old 03-10-2005, 02:16 AM   #72 (permalink)
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Location: UK
I have no problem at all with my boyfriend masturbating. It's masturbating to porn is what I dislike. I find it disrespecting to me. I wouldn't look at porn because I know he wouldn't be comfortable with it and I find it disrespectful towards him. But nevertheless, he still does it and it makes me feel more and more like dirt every single day. :\
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Old 03-10-2005, 05:10 AM   #73 (permalink)
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mine doesnt care because she's away in college, but i'm sure if she was here she wouldnt mind either. she'd probably just be compassionate enough to want to help. masturbation and procreation are two different things; if someones stuck in thier ways of masturbating, they'll probably keep doing it. when you touch yourself you know exactly how you want to be touched and it's a differnet experience, you're just trying orgasm as soon as possible. but when you're with someone, you try to stretch it out and enjoy the contact.
 
 

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