greyeyes

OK, I am a single guy, and it has been that way for quite some time now. I have no problem with this fact, relationships kinda freak me out, though I have never ruled out the option. I do have a problem that you guys/girls could help me out with. I haven't had any trouble talking to females in general, I can walk up to the hottest girl in the world and have no problem with it. My trouble ensues when I want to talk about sex. I just can't bring it up. I guess I have trouble with a fear that I might offend someone, that might be it but I dunno. I can speak with anyone about anything unless it is pertaining to sexual conduct or activities (actually, come to think about it, I have no problem speakig about sex, I just can't start the conversation). I would consider myself a confident guy that many people find easy to like and speak with. Being like this took practice and I know that talking about sex is probably the same way. I just dont know where to start. Anyone know how to get the ball rolling in getting confortable starting a conversation pertaining to this subject?

__________________
I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.
- Zach Braff

Seaver

Just a little hint, dont bring it up first. Let the girl do that.

Dont believe me? Watch ANY dating show, the guys who win out at the end of the night are the ones who let the girl get comfterble enough to start talking about sex, instead of pushing it out early before they get to know the guy.

You sound confident enough to talk to anyone (great sign), just keep asking them questions and try to mean what you say. When their defenses start to go down they'll feel comfterble enough to bring it up.

f6twister

Sex isn't the easiest topic to bring up. What do you say? Did you get laid last night? How wet did you get last night? I'm not sure that sex is an appropriate topic unless you know the person well. I can ask my friends if they got some last night with no problem and they will tell me without hesitation. It isn't something I bring up in the grocery aisle though.

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A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. Calvin

slimshaydee

Every conversation I have with a girl somehow always just turns to sex talk in the end. You have to learn to joke around about it first. The first sign of the conversation turning towards that topic I just end up calling them a horny lil bitch or something of the like and it goes on from there. And btw Seaver why should a guy have to wait for the girl to bring it up first? Never happens that way in my world.

snowy

I'd say wait for her to show a sign she's comfortable with you and then ease into it. I know I'm really laid back about sex conversations and totally open to discussing sex within five minutes of having met anyone, but that's just because I'm a really open, forward person. I would note I am the exception. Most girls do have to be really comfortable with a guy to want to talk about sex with them, so once you attain that...go for it.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

greyeyes

Yeah, if I were going to leave it up to the girl it would never happen. I know that joking about sex is a great way to start it off but I'm not exactly sure how to go about doing that. If you at least give me a starter I'm sure that I can work from there.

__________________
I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.
- Zach Braff

slimshaydee

It depends what age bracket you are in. The girls around my age that I go for 17-20 (im 20 btw) it's alot easier because they are all lil horny so and so's so you can just be out there. With this age group you can say for example be like "how about (insert guys name here), you'd bone him wouldn't you". You're telling us that you aren't nervous around girls, so it shouldnt be any problem moving the conversation in the direction you want it to. How old are you btw?

greyeyes

I'm 21 but I tend to deal with girls that dont SEEM too horny.

__________________
I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.
- Zach Braff

snowy

We're all horny (I'm 22). Some of us just hide it better than others.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Val_1

Talk about whatever interests you, even if it's sex (just don't be rude). If they don't like it, they can leave.

__________________

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

-Frank Sinatra

doncalypso

From what I've learned via personal experience, you never talk about sex with a woman unless she brings it up (or if she's a good friend you're comfortable talking to and you don't plan on dating because she won't reject you over that).

If you're talking to a woman for the first time, or if it's a woman you're into and would like to date then I think it's best to avoid the sex topic altogether.

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Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

KinkyKiwi

^lol ya nailed it!

hmm...i'm not always the best at bringing up sex with guys even when i would love that to be added to the conversation...

but its annoying when a guy forces it in your face...

i guess the easiest way is to compliment a girl on her lips and mention they look very sensual...or act like suprised and compliment her body...

at least with me and the girls i know that makes us smile and feel happy..and we usually say something like "wow thank you i need to lose a little weight tho" or "i think my breasts should be bigger"...then you just follow up with more compliments then try to turn it into a conversation about body image today and what you find sexy/sensual ..maybe with more compliments...

whenever guys use this on me i feel much more comfortable and were heavy in the convo before i even realize what were really talking about..

oh and its worked on other females that i've dated

__________________
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

Seaver

That's why I suggest not bringing it up. Guys talk about sex ALL the time. Girls talk about sex ALL the time. And guys talk to girls about sex ALL the time. Try to stand out.

Personally I've never brought up sex with anyone whom I'm trying to win the affections of. Girls remark all the time that they're taken back by the fact I can keep a conversation flowing without bringing it up. They start to realize that I'm interested more than just banging, so they become interested themselves.

Think about those pushing contests you used to do with your brother/friends on the door. One pushing his way in, the other pushing out. Well many girls feel like they're pushing out keeping every guy from forcing their way into their pants. If suddenly they dont feel anything pushing back they'll open the door on their own.

slimshaydee

Alot of girls are shy and wont bring it up at all, and they sit there and wait for guys to make all the moves (including bringing up sex). Your best bet is to casually joke about a few things, and see where it goes from there. If you're joking around you can easily sway away from that topic if you can tell the girl doesn't feel comfortable about it.

Seaver

Eh play it how you want. All I have to say is watch Blind Date... guys ALWAYS bring up sex too early in a conversation and almost every semi-interested girl gets turned off for the rest of the date by it.