Did I Do The Right Thing? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

DelayedReaction · 11-07-2004, 10:02 PM

I've been single for over a year now, and I haven't had many opportunities to meet women who are interested in me. I should mention that I'm a senior in college, and aside from the being single bit I'm very happy with my life. Recently one of the newer members in one of the clubs I'm involved with started chatting with me, and eventually mentioned that she had a bit of a crush on me. She's a freshman. I didn't really feel anything in response, but decided to see where it went. We ended up watching a movie at my place, and made it about halfway through before we started making out. We fooled around a bit, and got to a point where she felt things had gone too far and decided to stop, so we stopped and I drove her home. Both of us had a good time and had no regrets about what we did.

I chewed over the situation for a few hours, and pretty much decided that I should end it before things got more serious. I really didn't feel anything for her, and the age difference also made things uncomfortable for me. So I told her how I felt, and how I had apprehensions about continuing with what we had started. We ended as friends, and I made it clear to her that there wasn't a chance of things going beyond that.

In terms of what we did, it was entirely focused on pleasuring her. We basically got to some serious foreplay on her part, and I never even took my shirt off. I tend to be aggresive sexually, but made it clear to her at the beginning that if she felt uncomfortable at any time she should tell me, and I respected her requests. Still, I feel as if I may have pushed her boundaries a bit too far.

Did I do the right thing? I feel as if I made a wrong decision somewhere, like I shouldn't have let things begin in the first place. But on the other hand, both of us enjoyed ourselves and I took an honest look at whether or not things would work out between us. So what do you guys think?

Rlyss · 11-07-2004, 10:09 PM

I really don't see a problem anywhere at all. Sounds like you've been honest to her and to yourself, she understands that and there don't seem to be any hard feelings.

Even though you didn't really feel anything for her when you invited her to your place for a movie, you at least gave it a go. Obviously the foolish thing would have been to refuse to even take a chance. People grow on each other when it's least expected so there's no harm in giving it a chance.

The Magic · 11-07-2004, 10:20 PM

I don't know. I read that whole thing -- twice, in fact. Not once did I ever see you mention anything about a rag and chloroform. I'm really disappointed here.

timbuk2 · 11-07-2004, 10:31 PM

Was the outcome to your satisfaction? Hers? If not, you can dick around for 20 years or never again. Hmmm.

Looks like it's still up to you, man. Good luck.

-tb2

shyguy · 11-07-2004, 11:32 PM

I don't see anything wrong with the situation. Except I wouldn't be surprised if she thinks you broke things off with her 'cause she didn't go all the way. I'm sure you told her otherwise, but she still probably feels that way. Hopefully she doesn't try to "fix" that next time by doing something she doesn't want to.

Kudos on knowing that no means no.

Phant84 · 11-07-2004, 11:51 PM

i agree with shyguy. if you do break things off, try and do it the best way you can......

a rag and chloroform

(sorry magic, couldnt resist.)

little_tippler · 11-08-2004, 03:24 AM

If you both had fun, and it was consensual, why not? At least you were honest and broke it off before you regretted anything. Sincerity is greatly appreciated by women, even if at first it hurts, which if she had a crush on you, it may have done.

11-07-2004, 10:02 PM	#1 (permalink)
DelayedReaction BFG Builder Location: University of Maryland	Did I Do The Right Thing? I've been single for over a year now, and I haven't had many opportunities to meet women who are interested in me. I should mention that I'm a senior in college, and aside from the being single bit I'm very happy with my life. Recently one of the newer members in one of the clubs I'm involved with started chatting with me, and eventually mentioned that she had a bit of a crush on me. She's a freshman. I didn't really feel anything in response, but decided to see where it went. We ended up watching a movie at my place, and made it about halfway through before we started making out. We fooled around a bit, and got to a point where she felt things had gone too far and decided to stop, so we stopped and I drove her home. Both of us had a good time and had no regrets about what we did. I chewed over the situation for a few hours, and pretty much decided that I should end it before things got more serious. I really didn't feel anything for her, and the age difference also made things uncomfortable for me. So I told her how I felt, and how I had apprehensions about continuing with what we had started. We ended as friends, and I made it clear to her that there wasn't a chance of things going beyond that. In terms of what we did, it was entirely focused on pleasuring her. We basically got to some serious foreplay on her part, and I never even took my shirt off. I tend to be aggresive sexually, but made it clear to her at the beginning that if she felt uncomfortable at any time she should tell me, and I respected her requests. Still, I feel as if I may have pushed her boundaries a bit too far. Did I do the right thing? I feel as if I made a wrong decision somewhere, like I shouldn't have let things begin in the first place. But on the other hand, both of us enjoyed ourselves and I took an honest look at whether or not things would work out between us. So what do you guys think? __________________ If ignorance is bliss, you must be having an orgasm.

11-07-2004, 11:51 PM	#6 (permalink)
Phant84 Insane Location: aqui	i agree with shyguy. if you do break things off, try and do it the best way you can...... a rag and chloroform (sorry magic, couldnt resist.) __________________ Phant Irrationality is the square root of all evil

11-08-2004, 03:24 AM	#7 (permalink)
little_tippler Leaning against the -Sun- Super Moderator Location: on the other side	If you both had fun, and it was consensual, why not? At least you were honest and broke it off before you regretted anything. Sincerity is greatly appreciated by women, even if at first it hurts, which if she had a crush on you, it may have done. __________________ Whether we write or speak or do but look We are ever unapparent. What we are Cannot be transfused into word or book. Our soul from us is infinitely far. However much we give our thoughts the will To be our soul and gesture it abroad, Our hearts are incommunicable still. In what we show ourselves we are ignored. The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged By any skill of thought or trick of seeming. Unto our very selves we are abridged When we would utter to our thought our being. We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams, And each to each other dreams of others' dreams. Fernando Pessoa, 1918

11-07-2004, 10:09 PM	#2 (permalink)
Rlyss The Pusher Location: Edinburgh	I really don't see a problem anywhere at all. Sounds like you've been honest to her and to yourself, she understands that and there don't seem to be any hard feelings. Even though you didn't really feel anything for her when you invited her to your place for a movie, you at least gave it a go. Obviously the foolish thing would have been to refuse to even take a chance. People grow on each other when it's least expected so there's no harm in giving it a chance.

11-07-2004, 10:20 PM	#3 (permalink)
The Magic Crazy Location: Reality	I don't know. I read that whole thing -- twice, in fact. Not once did I ever see you mention anything about a rag and chloroform. I'm really disappointed here.

11-07-2004, 10:31 PM	#4 (permalink)
timbuk2 Upright Location: Texas	Was the outcome to your satisfaction? Hers? If not, you can dick around for 20 years or never again. Hmmm. Looks like it's still up to you, man. Good luck. -tb2

11-07-2004, 11:32 PM	#5 (permalink)
shyguy Upright	I don't see anything wrong with the situation. Except I wouldn't be surprised if she thinks you broke things off with her 'cause she didn't go all the way. I'm sure you told her otherwise, but she still probably feels that way. Hopefully she doesn't try to "fix" that next time by doing something she doesn't want to. Kudos on knowing that no means no.