I need advice please - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

NosVette · 11-04-2004, 01:58 PM

I am in sort of a dilema, here it is: There is one woman who likes me, and I find her kind of attractive, so I was gonna move things to the next level. Then my ex-girlfriend emailed me after 4 years of not being together, saying she misses me, and she's single, etc. Basically hinting that she might want to get back together. Now I can't decde whether to hedge my bets and go with the woman who definately wants me, or to turn her away and try my luck with my ex, who I am considerably more into. Please help me!

SpoilSport · 11-04-2004, 02:13 PM

Heartless maybe, but I say keep your options open. It's been four years, you don't know what she's up to. Never trust a vagina. Or a penis for that matter. Or the people they're attached to. ....nevermind.

theusername · 11-04-2004, 03:20 PM

More details would be needed for anyone to give proper advice on the situation.

Coppertop · 11-04-2004, 03:23 PM

Yes, why not both? You can have your cake and Edith too.

RolandGilead · 11-04-2004, 03:31 PM

Yes, give both girls a chance.

And remember: not everybody has that "dilemma" like you to choose from 2 chicks

)

maleficent · 11-04-2004, 03:36 PM

Bachelorette Number 1 - does she have real feelings for you? It she's looking to get serious and you are just hanging out til something better comes along, it's not fair to her...

Bachelorette Number 2- your ex girlfriend. Why is she your ex? What's changed that she wants to un-ex that? Be fair to your feelings to? if she was the one who did the breakling up - -why does she want to get back together? Will she be with you until something better comes along?

MikeyChalupa · 11-04-2004, 05:14 PM

Isn't that how it always goes?

Good luck on your decision. Like others said, we need more info to give advice, but in general some more research is needed to find out what your ex really has in mind. She might be going through a dry spell and figure you'll hop into the sack with her upon command, not the best idea for you if you have a real prospect with the new girl.

Let us know what happens!

-Mikey

tecoyah · 11-04-2004, 05:21 PM

Run...run far far away....they are in this together.....plotting, they are always plotting

NosVette · 11-04-2004, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Bachelorette Number 1 - does she have real feelings for you? It she's looking to get serious and you are just hanging out til something better comes along, it's not fair to her...

Yeahhh, she does have feelings for me, and yeah, I kinda am hanging around till something better comes along

Quote:

Bachelorette Number 2- your ex girlfriend. Why is she your ex? What's changed that she wants to un-ex that? Be fair to your feelings to? if she was the one who did the breakling up - -why does she want to get back together? Will she be with you until something better comes along?

Well, I did the breaking up, twice, but thats cuz I found she wasn't really into being monogomous. She didn't actually "Cheat" on me, but she was seeing other guys for dates and that made me uncomfortable. She was devistated when I dumped her the first time, and came back about a month later asking for another chance, but she sorta blew that one too. I'm wondering if that will happen again, so thats why I am a little wary.

Quote:

And remember: not everybody has that "dilemma" like you to choose from 2 chicks )

You really don't want to be in my situation. HoWEVER, if you Do want this kind of attention, just use your tongue on em as often as possible, and enjoy it. I am popular cuz I go down alot and I'm good at it. (Hell yeah I'm a man-whore, but who DoESN'T want to be?)

shortynickel · 11-04-2004, 07:21 PM

why did she become your ex?? thats should be the most inportant ? asked him imo

Suave · 11-04-2004, 07:23 PM

You could give the girl who likes you a rain-check (don't tell her about this rain-check, just don't bring up the subject), and get back with your ex. If, not to be pessimistic, your ex blows it again (which she has a history of doing), then maybe the other girl will still be pining for your manly loins.

Rlyss · 11-04-2004, 08:26 PM

Forget about your ex-girlfriend. She blew her chance twice and now wants to get back with you. Whether she'll do it again or not is impossible to tell but she's probably just been dumped or broken up with someone and is crawling back to you. That's not your problem. Forget about her.

Expand your horizons, step out of your comfort zone, meet new people, all of that.

Give this new woman a chance. Don't jump into anything serious but go on a date or two with her, make it fun and casual and see what happens. If you don't like her as much as she likes you then make it clear that you're not interested and if you do like her then all is well.

Prince · 11-04-2004, 10:08 PM

People are usually Ex-Something for a reason. Think about it.

Ian G. · 11-04-2004, 10:14 PM

Have you remained friends with your ex or maintained contact over the 4 years that you were apart? Do you know if she has recently broken up with another boyfriend? How old are you and your ex?

NosVette · 11-05-2004, 11:07 AM

No, we have not maintained contact over the years, and yeah, she did just break up with her BF, rather painfully. I am 19, My ex is 20, and the new girl is 18.

maleficent · 11-05-2004, 11:16 AM

People can change from ages 16 to 20... as I'm sure you are different now than you were at 15... Four years is a long time in teenage land (no offence intended) are you sure that you have feelings for her? Or is it the memory of her?

Sounds like you want to get back with her...

NosVette · 11-05-2004, 11:19 AM

Hell yeah I wanna get back together with her. The thing is that I know she's not the most stable person and she's not reliable. The new one is younger and more calm. My ex is sorta a bad-girl (She wears leather, rides a motor cycle, etc.) What would you guys do in my situation?

maleficent · 11-05-2004, 11:24 AM

What are you looking for? You're young so are you looking for commitment, stability, and perhaps the rest of your life? Or do you want the bad girl on the bike who's sure to give you a good time... (and might just break your heart)

It's really two completely different things, depending on what you want and where you are right now in your life/

denim · 11-05-2004, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NosVette

What would you guys do in my situation?

Depends entirely on you and the girls. Which do you prefer, unknown and "stable" or known and "bad-ass"?

water_boy1999 · 11-05-2004, 12:33 PM

You have much to yearn butterfry.

With limited info about you or the girls it is hard to give advice. I know you want to get back with the bad girl, but why not wait a bit to see where she is coming from? In the meantime, get to know the other girl as well. No need to have a solid committment to either one until you make a decision who you want to be with. You are young. No need to make rash decisions about either girl yet. Take er slow.

DaDictionaryBoy · 11-05-2004, 12:38 PM

The Ex may be more fun and crazy but you already know she's not really good for you as a g/f. Look at what you've said: She can't be faithful to you, she's unstable, she's on the rebound and on and on. If you go that route you can already write the end of that story.

The other girl sounds like she might be more the type to go after.

But then again, if I read between the lines, the Ex turns you on more--so if you just want a play-toy, then go for it and don't make her your girlfriend.

11-04-2004, 01:58 PM	#1 (permalink)
NosVette Upright Location: Santa Cruz!!!	I need advice please I am in sort of a dilema, here it is: There is one woman who likes me, and I find her kind of attractive, so I was gonna move things to the next level. Then my ex-girlfriend emailed me after 4 years of not being together, saying she misses me, and she's single, etc. Basically hinting that she might want to get back together. Now I can't decde whether to hedge my bets and go with the woman who definately wants me, or to turn her away and try my luck with my ex, who I am considerably more into. Please help me!

11-04-2004, 03:20 PM	#3 (permalink)
theusername Insane	More details would be needed for anyone to give proper advice on the situation. __________________ ?

11-04-2004, 03:36 PM	#6 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Bachelorette Number 1 - does she have real feelings for you? It she's looking to get serious and you are just hanging out til something better comes along, it's not fair to her... Bachelorette Number 2- your ex girlfriend. Why is she your ex? What's changed that she wants to un-ex that? Be fair to your feelings to? if she was the one who did the breakling up - -why does she want to get back together? Will she be with you until something better comes along? __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

11-04-2004, 05:21 PM	#8 (permalink)
tecoyah Illusionary	Run...run far far away....they are in this together.....plotting, they are always plotting __________________ Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

11-04-2004, 10:08 PM	#13 (permalink)
Prince /nɑndəsˈkrɪpt/ Location: LV-426	People are usually Ex-Something for a reason. Think about it. __________________ Who is John Galt?

11-04-2004, 02:13 PM	#2 (permalink)
SpoilSport Tilted Location: US, East Coast. Blah.	Heartless maybe, but I say keep your options open. It's been four years, you don't know what she's up to. Never trust a vagina. Or a penis for that matter. Or the people they're attached to. ....nevermind.

11-04-2004, 03:23 PM	#4 (permalink)
Coppertop Getting Medieval on your ass Location: 13th century Europe	Yes, why not both? You can have your cake and Edith too.

11-04-2004, 03:31 PM	#5 (permalink)
RolandGilead Tilted Location: Germany	Yes, give both girls a chance. And remember: not everybody has that "dilemma" like you to choose from 2 chicks )

11-04-2004, 05:14 PM	#7 (permalink)
MikeyChalupa Squid Location: USS George Washington	Isn't that how it always goes? Good luck on your decision. Like others said, we need more info to give advice, but in general some more research is needed to find out what your ex really has in mind. She might be going through a dry spell and figure you'll hop into the sack with her upon command, not the best idea for you if you have a real prospect with the new girl. Let us know what happens! -Mikey

11-04-2004, 07:21 PM	#10 (permalink)
shortynickel Addict Location: Central PA	why did she become your ex?? thats should be the most inportant ? asked him imo

11-04-2004, 07:23 PM	#11 (permalink)
Suave Twitterpated Location: My own little world (also Canada)	You could give the girl who likes you a rain-check (don't tell her about this rain-check, just don't bring up the subject), and get back with your ex. If, not to be pessimistic, your ex blows it again (which she has a history of doing), then maybe the other girl will still be pining for your manly loins.

11-04-2004, 08:26 PM	#12 (permalink)
Rlyss The Pusher Location: Edinburgh	Forget about your ex-girlfriend. She blew her chance twice and now wants to get back with you. Whether she'll do it again or not is impossible to tell but she's probably just been dumped or broken up with someone and is crawling back to you. That's not your problem. Forget about her. Expand your horizons, step out of your comfort zone, meet new people, all of that. Give this new woman a chance. Don't jump into anything serious but go on a date or two with her, make it fun and casual and see what happens. If you don't like her as much as she likes you then make it clear that you're not interested and if you do like her then all is well.

11-04-2004, 10:14 PM	#14 (permalink)
Ian G. Upright	Have you remained friends with your ex or maintained contact over the 4 years that you were apart? Do you know if she has recently broken up with another boyfriend? How old are you and your ex?

11-05-2004, 11:07 AM	#15 (permalink)
NosVette Upright Location: Santa Cruz!!!	No, we have not maintained contact over the years, and yeah, she did just break up with her BF, rather painfully. I am 19, My ex is 20, and the new girl is 18.

11-05-2004, 11:16 AM	#16 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	People can change from ages 16 to 20... as I'm sure you are different now than you were at 15... Four years is a long time in teenage land (no offence intended) are you sure that you have feelings for her? Or is it the memory of her? Sounds like you want to get back with her... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

11-05-2004, 11:19 AM	#17 (permalink)
NosVette Upright Location: Santa Cruz!!!	Hell yeah I wanna get back together with her. The thing is that I know she's not the most stable person and she's not reliable. The new one is younger and more calm. My ex is sorta a bad-girl (She wears leather, rides a motor cycle, etc.) What would you guys do in my situation?

11-05-2004, 11:24 AM	#18 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	What are you looking for? You're young so are you looking for commitment, stability, and perhaps the rest of your life? Or do you want the bad girl on the bike who's sure to give you a good time... (and might just break your heart) It's really two completely different things, depending on what you want and where you are right now in your life/ __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

11-05-2004, 12:33 PM	#20 (permalink)
water_boy1999 Fly em straight! Location: Above and Beyond	You have much to yearn butterfry. With limited info about you or the girls it is hard to give advice. I know you want to get back with the bad girl, but why not wait a bit to see where she is coming from? In the meantime, get to know the other girl as well. No need to have a solid committment to either one until you make a decision who you want to be with. You are young. No need to make rash decisions about either girl yet. Take er slow. __________________ Doh!!!! -Homer Simpson

11-05-2004, 12:38 PM	#21 (permalink)
DaDictionaryBoy Upright Location: In the Wild Wild West	Ditch the ex. The Ex may be more fun and crazy but you already know she's not really good for you as a g/f. Look at what you've said: She can't be faithful to you, she's unstable, she's on the rebound and on and on. If you go that route you can already write the end of that story. The other girl sounds like she might be more the type to go after. But then again, if I read between the lines, the Ex turns you on more--so if you just want a play-toy, then go for it and don't make her your girlfriend.