KinkyKiwi

How many of you have met your SO's online? Hesitations? How many would date someone from teh internet?

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Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

KinkyKiwi

what are teh downsides of online love..via forums chat rooms or personals..do you feel its safe? were there any hesitations?

__________________
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

stonegrody

I met my current girlfriend online but it wasn't through any personals or anything like that. She was ranting on some forum and I related to her rant so I sent her an email. After a couple of days, we met and then started going out. That was about 5 months ago and we're still dating. Not too shabby.

I have tried online personals and it wasn't a bad experience. I met a couple of crazies but also met some pretty cool girls. I dated a few of them and some I wanted to get very far away from. You never know who you're going to meet. The internet is a hiding place for a lot of people and they will lie just to get to meet you. At the same time, there are some very cool people out there just looking to meet others. It's a bit of a gamble but if you play it safe, it could be a good way to meet people.

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KinkyKiwi

see i think it may be less of a gamble for men. with women we (and with reason) have alot more to be afraid of...i'll admit i've met people online and then gone to chill out wth them...in public places of course...and as friends..what are teh risks..and teh pros

__________________
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

Irishsean

Well, I met my SO in an online game. Wasn't even trying to pick her up, just stepped in and smacked some people around that were giving her a hard time because she was a girl. After a couple months of talking we really hit it off, and now, well, I dunno... It's a long distance thing for the next few months, but we'll have to see how it goes.

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jenjen

I'm not sure if I ever could. Online just doesn't seem natural to me, hard to really flirt and interact the same way as with someone in the flesh.

Ustwo

I don't think its fair to say someone wouldn't use internet dating just because they are scared.

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

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dksuddeth

If it wasn't for the internet I would never have met my wife.

slimshaydee

never done it, probably because im 20 and I met new girls all the time in real life.

JaySpencer

I think it's cool.

Konichiwaneko

I've met a lot of people online, whom I've dated their friends. I think it works, it's a medium in which people meet each other.

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antisuck

I married a girl I met online. Our third wedding anniversary is next week, and it will be almost 5 years since she moved up here/moved in with me, after a 6 month courtship involving electronic communications and eventually a couple of weekend visits.

We met on IRC. Not in a channel intended for that sort of thing (well, one could argue that most IRC channels not intended for distribution of files are implicitly intended for hooking up with the opposite sex, but I won't go there), just a random chatty/friendly/flirty channel nominally centered around a version of a common party game, on one of the less busy networks.

Previously to that I met several people in a similar manner and ended up getting together for what amounted to casual sex. Or as casual as it can be after months of flirting and determining that we were, in fact, who we claimed to be and all that other stuff that comes with internet hookups.

It's certainly not for everybody, but it has worked well for me.

MSD

I'm getting to the point where I'm thinking about it.

Bustello

It's hard to find a partner on the internet. Everybody lies!!!

Digilogic

I think I would if they were local. Especially if they went to the same school. (NC State)

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denim

Just keep in mind that as you get older, and especially after college, it gets harder to find someone.

Nothing is "safe", KK. There's no such thing as life w/o risk. A guy you meet at an event could turn out to be either the love of your life, or the guy who'll be convicted of slashing you. You have to figure out ways to deflect the few crazies you might meet so that you'll meet someone worthwhile for you. That can be done by making sure you meet new people in public places, and stay in public places until you've gotten a decent idea of who the other person is.

How you meet in the first place, whether on-line or some other way, isn't as important as what you do about it. Keep in mind that the real crazies aren't that common, or the human race would be long gone.

Suave

I might try it. I've become real life friends with someone from the 'net who's been posting at the same message boards as I have for a good 3 years or more. It would depend greatly on what the person was like when I met them face-to-face.

Strange Famous

Im thinking of trying it. I found one site but it was a rip off, so Im trying to research to find the best site for meeting people in the UK

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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

scout

I met my wife online. In Feb. we will have been married four years. I don't think either one of us was really looking for love online but fortunately for us we stumbled into each other during a online cribbage game and hit it off immediately. A few months later I flew down to meet her then a few months after that she came here and stayed! She jokes and tells everyone I "kidnapped" her and wouldn't take her back to the airport. I believe she is truly my soul mate, in the last 4 years she has been here we have had perhaps two arguments and those were minor.

FatherTed

I happily attached, so it isnt relevent to me, but I think that (provided the right security measures are in place) it must be pretty exciting to meet people with whom you have formed an internet relationship.
Will he/she live up to your expectations, are they the same person face-to-face that they are on IE or IM etc?

One of my old girlfriends I met through the telephone - she was a customer of mine, and we had a great friendship over the phone for many months before meeting. Needless to say we got on even better in person, before distances made the relationship unworkable.

Averett

I met my boyfriend here on TFP

There was a thread on here that somebody started about how hard he had it getting that second date. I mentioned that I had it hard getting a first date! I had never really had a first date, my college boyfriend and I met at a party and were a couple pretty much right away. Skipped that whole dating phase.

So, here's the thread: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...highlight=date

It was pure chance. I hadn't talked much with losthellhound on the boards here, but I'd noticed his posts and he seemed like a good guy. So when I mentioned I'd be in Niagara Falls and he said he goes there every so often, I thought why not? So we exchanged emails, chatted online at night and got to know eachother. And made plans to have dinner when I was in Niagara Falls. Dinner turned into an all day long event, and into the next day. We got along so well, but honestly I didn't want to get into a long distance relationship. They suck, and they're hard to take. But well... he broke me down. So now nearly 6 months after that May weekend we're still together.

He's been to visit me and I go visit him every 2 or 3 weeks. He even once came on a Saturday just for the night Showed up on my doorstep! I'm glad I took the chance on meeting a virtual stranger, and I'm glad he was persistant in getting me to take a chance on a relationship.

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

Averett

Another thought struck me. I think there are two forms of online dating. Well, more really, as I'm thinking.

Okay, theres the cases where people will join up a dating site with the intent of finding dates. I haven't done this. A friend of mine joined a dating site, and she asked me to put up a profile too so I could see the guys profiles who were contacting her. So I put one up, and a picture too. It was a bit of an ego thing for me, I was wondering what kind of contact I would get. I got my fair share, got some emails from a few guys but I had no desire to do any dating at the time so I didn't contact any of the guys.

Then there are people who meet somebody through message boards or gaming type sites. I'd fall in this category, but we didn't form a relationship until we had met a few times. I know of people who will become SO's (ack, I hate that term) before even meeting face to face. So there's that too.

I'm just rambling here. So yeah, I think inernet dating can work. Can it be dangerous? Sure, but not any more so than meeting a guy in a bar or bookstore.

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

ShaniFaye

Im just gonna bring over the answer to the question you asked before you started this thread lol

nope....Dave wasnt my first one either...before him I'd had a 3 year relationship with a guy in New Zealand that I met online...I got to see him once a year for a month at a time...things came to an end when he decided in the end he didnt want to move to the states and I wasnt taking my child 10k miles away from all her family. In the end it worked for the best because she completely loves her step father to be....

I've gone out with many guys I've met online.....my 6th sense works very well and I just always "knew" which ones to never agree to meet in person. I also never agreed to meet someone in "private" with the others I went out with they were always public dates...they didnt have my home telephone number and were never invited to my house...I like to think I covered myself pretty well on that level

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

maleficent

People can lie in real life too... How much do you really know about the person that caught your eye in Barnes and Noble, except perhaps that you liked what they looked like, they could be a wanted felon in 28 states, a serial killer, or married.

The difference online dating gives, as long as people are being honest with themselves and what they want, is that you can get to know a person before your opinion might get clouded by what they look like. (Helpful for those of us who aren't exactly attractive - -but deep down are somewhat nice people)

With meeting people online, you use the same instincts you'd use in real life. Why not use internet dating, it's just another avenue for meeting people.

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Aladdin Sane

To those of you who have met cyber friends in RT for a date: how did you keep it safe? What steps did you take to insure your safety?
Also did anyone end up in bed on the first rendezvous? Was the real thing as good as the cyber thing?

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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

ShaniFaye

Aladdin....few things I did....Always told a friend where I would be and asked them to call at some point to "check" on me....Asked for the persons drivers license when we met to make sure I had a "real" name...always met in public

As to your other question....I dont cyber...in my mind it can never be as real as the real thing so why do it? Dave and I had sex on our first date....but he and I are an "exception" to the usual rule....even given that...someone knew where I was and who I was with

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

denim

I really like the equivalencies in that line.

"He's married! Call 911!"

I've met people via match.com, here, and via an off-line profiling system. The key thing was to meet them in public first if you hadn't interacted before. At least on-line, you MIGHT get an idea of who this person is before you get the interference of what they actually look like, which can be a problem for some people.

I had more first dates via an off-line profiling system back in the late '90s than with any other method I've used. After a few of these 5 minute dates, I started meeting them in places where I'd have something else to do after the "date" collapsed, such as book or grocery shopping.

Someone around here has suggested that self-fulfilling prophecy may be involved, and it may, but she never met these women. Yikes. I mean, ridicule what I do for a living almost instantly on first meeting me. Yeah, that'll go over well. I met one person that way who was worthwhile as an acquaintence, and another who might have been a great gf but for other issues. The point is that it doesn't matter how you meet someone. What matters is whether you do or not, and what you do afterwards.

The woman from match.com lied in her profile, or I'd never have met her: she had kids, which ultimately killed the relationship.

Oh, and I don't "cyber" either.

lunchbox

use your head and nothing is really ever that dangerous. I've never ended up dating someone I met on the internet, but had a few explicit conversations, turned out being good friends with those people.

KinkyKiwi

wow i really liek the differnt opinons and thoughts on the subject..i offer my congradulations for those who have met and fallen in love online...i really enjoyed reading your stories and when you come to thinnk about it its pretty amazing being able to find "teh one" out of millions online. internet dating seems to be so popular and i had no idea untill now how many people found sucess with it lol almost makes me want to try it..tho i think biznatch would have issues with that

__________________
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

water_boy1999

I have been off and on the online dating circle. I used it as a tool for meeting more women because my work schedule keeps me from going out as much as I would like. Plus, it enabled me to get to know someone a bit before I went out with them. It was primarily used to have sex, and you can find a lot of people on there for just that.

Was it safe? Sure! Just as safe if you met someone at a bar and decided you wanted to take them home for the evening.

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ibis

I'm in the mabye bracket.

I'm at a school of 25,000+ students, so finding people to meet isn't a problem.

... also, to me I have this "thing" in my head that tells me women worth meeting likley would have guys all over them... and not have a problem finding dates.

About a month ago my mother, who's been dating online for quite a while, told me she was going to put me up on the site she uses.

Mango

I met a one night stand on the internet (actually she was a one night in a row 6 times over 4 months). She was 38 yo, really shy and introverted and had not had sex for 8 years since she had divorced her high scholl sweetheart. I was really forward when we met. She said I was making her nervous so I toned it down a little. Within 3 hours of meeting her we were naked and playing. She was lots of fun, but I called it off because I did not want her to get too serious about me. Sometimes I kick myself for not going at it longer with her. She had the sweetest tight little pussy I have had in a long time.

combatmedicjen

I met hubby on HotOrNot.

screamincheetah

I actually met my last two girlfriends online. One was six or so years ago on Yahoo and that lasted three years...although it shouldn't have. The other was from Match almost three years ago, and that lasted two and a half....although it shouldn't have. From my persepective, I just don't want to close any doors in my life. You never know where a great person could be hiding. I'll let my Mom set me up, friends, social groups, online, grocery store....it doesn't matter. The good thing about online is that you can see their picture, and they see you, so you know there's that attraction. Then you know their basics and can learn a little more there. So you really know someone a lot better than just meeting out at a bar, or a blind date. Now, just like anywhere there are crazies, and I know women have to be especially carefull out there. Again though, I'll never say never to anything.....

maleficent

Don't be so sure about that... People's lives are busier than they were years ago... and the opportunities to meet people aren't as readily available... Just because someone is using internet personals doesn't mean that they are undatable or desperate...

or maybe they just can't meet the quality men that they are looking for and are trying to expand their audience.

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OzOz

I've dated a few people from the Internet. I have few opportunities to meet possible partners otherwise. There have been few problems at all with it - although it almost goes without saying that girls would have to be careful. I haven't come across anyone who has grossly misrepresented herself. What I have found interesting is the number of women who would give themselves the equivalent of a TFP "Plumper" tag in their online profiles, but who were nothing of the sort in real life.

I met my girlfriend through ICQ. We just started out chatting for a while, slowly grew closer, and eventually met in real life about ten months after we started chatting. I must admit I was worried that things might fall flat when we met, as I am quiet in person, but thankfully my fears proved to be groundless.