impulse03

Ok, so my girlfriend (now ex) and I, broke up about two weeks ago, it was a fairly mutual breakup. Things had begun to go downhill and just a general lack of time between the two of us brought it about. We had been dating for just about 8 months, lost virginities to one another and yada yada. We still are good friends so it is alright.

Here is my situation though. I am ready to get back into the dating circle, but I am struggling. I hadnt realized this, but while I was going out with her, I didnt loose touch, but a lot of my other friendships were weakened . So now the majority of my good friends have made other friends and have gf's of there own (i was the first of the group to get a steady girl). Basically, it is really hard to find people to go out with that can introduce me to other chicks because they all want to be with their gf's all the time, just as I was always with mine.

So, I have a few girls that I think are mad cool and would really like to get to know better. However, I'm not sure how to go about it and here is why.

Girl #1: One of my ex's best friends and pretty good friend of mine. I know she used to have a thing for me. I dunno if I should go for her or not simply because she is so close to my ex...

Girl #2: I used to be really close friends with this girl in highschool although nothing more ever developed. She is smoking hot, but I havent really talked to her much lately. We used to see each other all the time, but now we goto the same college and rarely see each other. We dont really talk much online anymore (we rarely talked on the phone), but I still have her SN. IT could be kinda awkward talking to her and wanting to hang out considering we have barely talked in in a good 6 months.

Girl #3: This one is kinda weird so bear with me. This girl is a basically a friend of a family friend. (does that make sense?) I never really got to know her, but she is very attractive and seems like a genuinely good person. Now are family friend had a grandfather pass away this past week and at the viewing I saw this chick. She has always been at gatherings but we never really talked much beyond them. I would really like to get to know her, but I dont know her phone # or SN. Thus, I would have to get them from somebody else and that can just look pretty crappy for me. Also, out mothers are good friends and have talked about us getting together for a long time, so that has potential awkwardness, but I can deal with it if she can.

Girl #4: I work with this girl. She is really cool, attractive and just an awesome person. I would love to get to know her better outside of the workplace, however I dont know if she has a bf, but that can be found out easily. She is also pretty flirtatious with me so that's cool. The only problem here is that I dont know her phone number or SN either, she is fairly new and we work together only 1 - 2 times per week. (resturant). Also her brother, a year older than me, works at the same place, but I think he could be cool with it. How safe is it go get involved with a fellow worker?

So yea, I'm lost and am in major need of advice. I just dont know what to do, I would love to get to know all 4 of these girls better, but there are so many things weighing on each one. Just please offer up what you can to me lol, I need all the help I can get. I like to think that I have a good chance with all them too. Like I dont mean to sound snotty or whatever, but I am told fairly often that I am an attractive guy, even though I'm a little on the shorter side (5'8").

sorry for the long post...

Rlyss

I think it's a pretty bad idea to date a friend, or within your friendship group. I've never had a good experience with that. Unless you can remain friends with her if you break up (like your current situation with your ex) then the mess created after a breakup in a friendship group puts a lot of strain on everone. It can force people to choose between friends, it causes jealousy, she wonders if she can confide in her friends because they're so close to you, you wonder if you can joke around with your mates without them telling her, your friends feel burdened with the both of you confiding in them... the list goes on and on. Dating in a friendship group is a bad idea in my opinion. I think it's a little like incest actually, you want to branch out and date brand new people and diversify!

Girl #2 would be a better shot than Girl #1. You know her, but you don't really know her well. Call her up or send her a message and point out that you'd like to catch up with her for a drink (or a coffee, or a milkshake, depending how old you are!) and just see how things go from there. I really doubt she'll say no to that if you don't consider it a date. If you have coffee with her, just chat and talk about what you've been doing lately, and then by the end you can decide if you'd like to ask her on a real date.

Don't worry about any awkwardness with the parents, I don't think that's as bad as awkwardness between friends. You don't really know her so it's a nice fresh start! Don't ask around for her number, that seems a little creepy. Maybe ask your parents if they know their home number, and just give her a call, say who you are and that you're sorry for her loss (was it her grandfather?), and that you'd like to take her out for coffee one day. It might be a little weird for her if she doesn't know who you are, that's why you should introduce yourself. I think that's the way to go, or you could see if there's a family picnic or get-together coming up anytime soon (and if there isn't, perhaps organize one) and make sure she's invited, and then say hi to her there.

I think it depends on the future of your work. It's a bad idea to date in the workplace when you're older, if it's a stable career environment. But if you're younger and it's a part-time gig (I hope you don't take offence, but I gather you're young, maybe late teens or 20?) and you only work together twice a week then I don't think there should be any awkwardness, and if there is then you should be able to hide it. She sounds like a winner to me. Don't wait to find out if she has a boyfriend before you ask her out, just one day ask her if she wants to have a drink after your shift, and the conversations following will most likely reveal if she's got a partner.

Don't worry about being short, there are just as many tall people as short people, and just as many regular people too! It's always said here that it's your personality that wins in the end. I'm surprised you're ready to date after only two weeks, but if you really are ok with everything then that's great. I think you should go for the girl at your work, but don't put a label on it until you find out if you really like her. Otherwise, the family friend girl might be the way to go.

jadedt

I'd go for the gusto and use a shotgun approach. Discovered after a date or two you WILL know if it will or will not work out. You will never know unless you try.

Take a deep breathe and jump into the pool of life. Mankind has been going through this since the beginning. Just think, your parents met somehow and made it work to some degree to have you...

impulse03

bump

Thanks guys.

Yes, I am 19 years old and where I work is not going to be permanent. Just a college job for now so I have some income.
I work with Girl #4 next on friday so we'll see how things go. I will definitely update with the details.

Can anybody else offer me some advice. I'll take all I can get.

Coppertop

Don't shit where you eat: trust me on this one. Get another job and then go for it with #4.