random_guy_0413

soo lets say.

there is a girl that i really care about and like.. but i know that i have no chance of getting her. i like to consider myself and her to be friends... even when another friend asks for something as simple as her screenname; i end up getting defensive and stuff..sure, we talk and share a lot of the same interests... but i think that i am out of her league... someone help

maleficent

read this:

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=72117

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random_guy_0413

okay, anyone else?

World's King

Nope.

I was gonna say the same thing. I don't mean to be rude but that thread is the best answer you're gonna get here. Be honest. That's all humans want. Honesty.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

jadedt

Just be a friend first and hope it develops. Be there for her, earn her respect, trust and heart all over the course of time. Women operate differently than guys and take more time, effort and interraction to win over. Just get use to looking past the jealousy and the bf's that come and go and win a place in her permenant life. If things turn out right, you'll be the only man in her life. If not, you'll be the friend that was always there and you'll have to look for a relationship elsewhere.

Doesn't hurt to have female companionship that isn't a girlfriend or lover. Helps to pick their mind to figure out how to deal with situations you'll get into that you will NEVER be able to understand on your own...

Good luck.

random_guy_0413

thanks, great post

Ustwo

A never ever fawn over her. Women can sense this, and its why nice guys don't get laid as often.

Be nice but aloof, make her think you might reject her, trust me on this. I went from having a hard time dating, to dating three nice women at the same time and I'm still with one of them after 14 years.

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

maleficent

Have some confidence in yourself -- if you think something is true-- then it generally is... If you think you are in her league, then you are.

Us wimminfolk like confidence... if you don't think you are good enough -- then why should she? Remind yourself of your good qualities.... If you are aware of them, the sooner or later, she'll be aware of them as well.

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random_guy_0413

i want to be with her... (as a friend) but i dont want to come off as clingy/stalker like


it is hard to figure out what that fine line is.. you know.. just hanging out.. and then being clinging/annoying

random_guy_0413

one more bump

jadedt

The fine line is hard to judge. You'll be too into the situation to figure it out. Ask friends/ family that you trust who are there or see the situations you are in for their outlook. Be good to them and try not to be too bitter about their opinions.

As for myself, I went from a friend to confidant, advisor, lover, fiance then back to "friend" just recently myself with my now ex-fiance after 4 years. Women are hard to judge and rarely speak their true feelings even when you earn their trust.

After the relationship was over, I had friends and family tell me they all saw her using me for her needs and didn't get what I got out of the situation. Also I had dinner the other night with a female friend and she told me she loved her ex but wasn't IN love with him. She also felt dependent upon him too much for too many different needs and she needed that independence. Sounded odd to me but made me realize I needed to take care of my girlfriend/ lover/ future wife. Meaningful thing was that my ex told me during the aftermath that she felt too locked in/ too dependent/ too secure with our relationship and needed a "break." Upon clarification, the break was unmendable.

That being said, make sure both you and her are in the same place in life: mentally, physically, emotionally, psycologically, etc. If there isn't that synergy, then in all likelyhood the relationship, if it does flower will be doomed for failure.

Don't push something that isn't meant to be. There is a reason there is a 50% failure rate of marriages in this country. All I could say at the end of my engagement was that I was glad we weren't married with kids before she dropped the axe.

curious george

Well hows this:
If you think she's outta your league, she always will be.
Reality is, she probably isn't, if she's already your friend.
Whether she will ever like you more than this is the stuff of untold sleepless nights and wasted presents etc.
Sounds corny, but be yourself, and if she dont like you for that, then it's never gonna work.
I've ben there, dont that with the unrequented love stuff, I've posted somewhere here about it too, as have many others, usually reaching the same conclusion.
Still, this one might be different....
Maybe she has cute friends......

onesandzeroes

Go find other cute girls that you can be interested in, that's the best way... staying her friend is cool... but sometimes that makes it harder, so you might want to place some temporary distance in place.

random_guy_0413

thanks.. any more words of advice?

NegativeNine

maleficant got it right. Be blunt.