I'm patting myself on the back...
 

Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend for the first time in many months. We had agreed to meet at a Starbucks. I have to give it to myself: We didn't end up in bed this time! I think this is a big step in my moving on. One thing I must admit, though, is when we were hanging out today, a lot of the 'old' feelings came back, and I had to restrain myself from saying something stupid like, "I love you." I mean, those things that came natural to me when we were together were trying to resurface; like when she told me she had a headache, I was tempted to just start giving her a neck/shoulder massage. But I didn't, thank God.

One thing that really meant a lot to me is that she was the one who initiated the meeting this time, and when I was about to leave once we were done at Starbucks, she urged me to stay with her a little longer and go to Barnes & Noble and a clothing store with her. It really felt like she was enjoying my company, and most importantly: I felt missed. One thing that always tore at my heart was that feeling that our past together meant nothing to her; that she didn't miss me. It really helped to know, even though we both know we're not right for each other, that our past actually means something to her, even in the smallest way.

It was hard not to put my arm around her 'like the good ol' days', but I'm glad I didn't do anything stupid like that. When we hugged, I could tell she had to try hard not to kiss me; not because she really wanted to, but rather because it's something we had become used to with each other.

The whole meeting acted as some sort of 'confronting my fears' situation, and I think it actually worked out for the better. *Raises imaginary glass* Here's to my (hopefully) completely moving on in the near future.

Congrats man. You're an inspiration to the rest of us. :thumbsup:

I feel really good for you, man. I really do.

It's always such a great feeling when some of your doubts and worries and finally answered, and you can move on and enjoy life once again without the thoughts pestering you in the back of your mind.

Just keep it up. We're rooting for you. :)

And it gets easier with time too :)

Are you implying that meeting up with your ex from time to time for a romp in the sack is not a good idea? I'm going to visit my ex this weekend, she lives pretty far away, but we are meeting up with the mutual expectation of sex.. is this not good? I'm justifying it to myself as just some easy ass, but you make me think that maybe its not such a good idea after all...

PS I'm not going all the way out just to see her, im going to be in the general area and I'm just seeing her for a night.

Congrats dude. Seems like you're well on your way to movin' on.

Good for you cityofangels ! I'm proud of ya---resisting those 'feelings' can be really hard. :)

Congrats hon!!! Im SO with you on the "doing things out of habit" thing. I still have to stop myself from saying things in my emails to my Ex like, love ya babe etc...its not easy at all...Im real proud for you!!

Congratulations!!

I just did almost the exact same thing on Monday. My ex came over to my place to hang out and see the new furniture I bought. I knew I shouldn't sleep with her but I thought I would. I held back and didn't do anything. No kissing, no saying anything, no arms around her etc. I think it is definitely the healthy thing to do, even though it is incredibly hard. In the long run it definitely feels like a step in the right direction and I think it is the correct way to go about moving on. Falling back onto the old path even for a short time just leads to a downward spiral of old feelings.

Congrats again, I really hope things are looking up for you in moving on. It is extremely hard, I know...

Way to go! I have been in situations like that and it is very difficult to resist. Especially when awkwardness sets in. Luckily she didn't start crying or something. I know that for me, that could have caused me to break down and do something stupid. More power to you! Congrats.

I just broke up with my ex-girlfriend. I haven't seen her in about a week, and don't intend to for at least a few months. It's going to be hard to get past this one.

Isn't it just the worst? The first little while apart is god awful. Just stick to your guns and keep the distance up and take the time to get over her. Don't go back it will only make it harder in the long run. It's just like ripping off a bandaid...

no doubt, congrats on being the man....keep up the good work

Truthfully, if she broke down in tears, I wouldn't be able to stand seeing her like that, and probably would take her back in a heartbeat. I really do love her...it's just when two people are incompatible, they're incompatible. She wants to go out and have her fun, which is perfectly fine, but I refuse to be in a relationship where respect isn't involved. It's my own personal preference to not accept an open relationship, and her cheating on me is far from respecting that. But yeah...if I saw her crying, I wouldn't even hesitate to take her into my arms and do my best to comfort her. I'm a sucker.

To all who've responded: Thank you so much for your encouragement! You all are awesome!