My girlfriend cant get off - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

IckUber · 10-10-2004, 02:19 AM

I've been dating this girl for months now. When we fool around, I know she is enjoying it, but she cant get off. Its not just me not being able to get her off, but she has flat out never had an orgasim. As a guy, I take this as a challenge. I want her to have one, its driving me crazy. She doesnt seem to be really crazy about Oral, I don't think I am bad at it or anything, but i can tell she prefers just old fashion fingering. She loves that. But it's just not enough. Were not having sex yet, but she isnt a virgin, and couldnt get off through sex with previous partners either. So, i've been trying new things trying to see if i can get a responce from her. Something happend a few nights ago, that i've never heard of happening before ever. I was fingering her, and started to foucus on the clit, she liked it for awhile, but then she started laughing.....she said it started to tickle, but she said it was different then a tickle, she said it kinda felt good, but she just couldnt stop laughing if i kept doing it. So im curious if any girls have had any breakthrough supporting information that could help me, or if any girls have heard of girls laughing during the stimulation of their clit.. Im really confused, and ill i want to do is get this girl off...

thoughts?

thanks

janda_janda · 10-10-2004, 02:27 AM

you are doing the right things, and a few threads down there's another about a woman not being able to orgasm from sex alone that has some good info - a LOT of women have trouble reaching orgasm and it's something a lot of us have had to learn

get this book: For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality by Lonnie Barbach

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS...049415-3759318

it has a lot of good information, tip two: get a little vibrator, once she gets over the initial embarassment, she'll like it

Aladdin Sane · 10-10-2004, 04:01 AM

The clit can be extremely sensitive. Direct stimulation is often too much and can be painful. Maybe you were hurting her and she didn't know how to tell you.
How old is she? How many sexual partners has she had?
Does she masturbate? Can she orgasm from that? If she doesn't do self-pleasuring, you might encourage her to.

maleficent · 10-10-2004, 05:52 AM

It's been said before - but it bears repeating.

A person is responsible for their own orgasms. If she can't figure out how to give one to herself, then there's no way she'll be able to tell you how to give her one. Does she have any toys? Has she experimented on her own at all? She absolutely needs to.

You also need to relax about it, and put less of an importance on it. (it's not about your ego)The pressure to have one makes it almost impossible.

trevlya006 · 10-10-2004, 06:13 AM

she is lying to you flat out

ibis · 10-10-2004, 06:14 AM

You've only been dating for a few months. Give it a while more. Having an orgasm with another is a very intimate thing, she may not be fully comfortable with sharing that with you just yet.

maleficent · 10-10-2004, 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trevlya006

she is lying to you flat out

What's she lying about?

wally · 10-10-2004, 06:18 AM

My suggestion is to get a vibrator and try that.

CunningLinguist · 10-10-2004, 10:33 AM

The worst thing you can possibly do is bring too much attention to the "problem". She'll feel more pressured and be even less likely to get there. I'd be willing to bet that she's very self conscious, and this is a big factor. She doesn't seem to like oral much, she may think it's dirty, smelly, bad tasting... Little does she know it's not and some guys love every bit of it. Try oral shortly after showering. Try making love in complete darkness, maybe she's not happy with the way she looks? Tell her how great her new hairstyle looks, how well those pants show her curves... Build up her trust in you over time and she'll be more likely to open up. Oh, and get her drunk

She'll be less inhibited and more likely to really let go and enjoy herself... Just make sure she doesn't get too wasted, that'll ruin the whole night!

summerkc · 10-10-2004, 10:36 AM

She might be holding back because she doesn't want it to excalate to sex yet. When she is ready and trusts you to have sex, start to work on the problem then.

IckUber · 10-11-2004, 12:03 AM

besides her not being able to orgasim....have any girls ever laughed as long as preasure on their clits? She told me she doesnt know why she started laughing ( it doesnt always happen) but she wanted to know why, and what's wrong with her?

maleficent · 10-11-2004, 05:24 AM

Every so often, when I get really turned on, I also get really really ticklish... I could be touched pretty much anywhere, and I'd start laughing... (it's always very difficult to explain what I'm laughing at too )

Nancy · 10-11-2004, 05:40 AM

Has she ever tried masturbating?

IckUber · 10-11-2004, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nancy

Has she ever tried masturbating?

She says no, and i believe her, she says she has never had the intrest. Im sure she thinks its gross or something. BUT ITS NOT!

Missy · 10-11-2004, 04:16 PM

If your really trying to please her as much as you can and she's enjoying herself, don't worry too much about it. Things are going good and will happen when they happen.

valhallan · 10-12-2004, 06:52 PM

Three words: Hitachi Magic Wand. My wife never had an orgasm (believe me, I tried) before I bought her one, and has never had any problem since. She needs a lot of stimulation, and doesn't have the patience for me to go down on her all night. She also had a huge hangup about masturbation, and wouldn't even use the Wand until her sister told her it had worked for her. She was a little bit put off at first by the fact that she's a "squirter", but got over it (I think it's hot). $45 and worth 10 times the price.

EmilyMu154 · 10-12-2004, 08:09 PM

as a female who has never had an "orgasm" i will say that i agree having an orgasm is totally the responsibility of that person

after much thought and many many attempts i discovered that my problem is that i am a control freak i can't stand not being able to control myself and my actions

i have worked at it alone with a vibrator and with others

i would also like to say that some people don't have crazy wild orgasms like one sees on tv, many women are much more internal about it and can really have very minor orgasm

i say as long as i am enjoying myself and it feels good just keep on keeping on

10-10-2004, 02:19 AM	#1 (permalink)
IckUber Funran Location: Norman, OK	My girlfriend cant get off I've been dating this girl for months now. When we fool around, I know she is enjoying it, but she cant get off. Its not just me not being able to get her off, but she has flat out never had an orgasim. As a guy, I take this as a challenge. I want her to have one, its driving me crazy. She doesnt seem to be really crazy about Oral, I don't think I am bad at it or anything, but i can tell she prefers just old fashion fingering. She loves that. But it's just not enough. Were not having sex yet, but she isnt a virgin, and couldnt get off through sex with previous partners either. So, i've been trying new things trying to see if i can get a responce from her. Something happend a few nights ago, that i've never heard of happening before ever. I was fingering her, and started to foucus on the clit, she liked it for awhile, but then she started laughing.....she said it started to tickle, but she said it was different then a tickle, she said it kinda felt good, but she just couldnt stop laughing if i kept doing it. So im curious if any girls have had any breakthrough supporting information that could help me, or if any girls have heard of girls laughing during the stimulation of their clit.. Im really confused, and ill i want to do is get this girl off... thoughts? thanks __________________ How much is y'all Piolkles?

10-10-2004, 04:01 AM	#3 (permalink)
Aladdin Sane Degenerate Location: San Marvelous	The clit can be extremely sensitive. Direct stimulation is often too much and can be painful. Maybe you were hurting her and she didn't know how to tell you. How old is she? How many sexual partners has she had? Does she masturbate? Can she orgasm from that? If she doesn't do self-pleasuring, you might encourage her to. __________________ Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

10-10-2004, 05:52 AM	#4 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	It's been said before - but it bears repeating. A person is responsible for their own orgasms. If she can't figure out how to give one to herself, then there's no way she'll be able to tell you how to give her one. Does she have any toys? Has she experimented on her own at all? She absolutely needs to. You also need to relax about it, and put less of an importance on it. (it's not about your ego)The pressure to have one makes it almost impossible. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

10-10-2004, 06:13 AM	#5 (permalink)
trevlya006 Tilted	she is lying to you flat out __________________ "Untill all that is different around you, you will be different" read about my situation Here! and always check back because i update it all the time

10-10-2004, 10:33 AM	#9 (permalink)
CunningLinguist Upright	The worst thing you can possibly do is bring too much attention to the "problem". She'll feel more pressured and be even less likely to get there. I'd be willing to bet that she's very self conscious, and this is a big factor. She doesn't seem to like oral much, she may think it's dirty, smelly, bad tasting... Little does she know it's not and some guys love every bit of it. Try oral shortly after showering. Try making love in complete darkness, maybe she's not happy with the way she looks? Tell her how great her new hairstyle looks, how well those pants show her curves... Build up her trust in you over time and she'll be more likely to open up. Oh, and get her drunk She'll be less inhibited and more likely to really let go and enjoy herself... Just make sure she doesn't get too wasted, that'll ruin the whole night! __________________ Jason 94 3000GT VR4 (12.67 @ 105.93 & 12.802 @ 109.40) 04 EVO VIII Last edited by CunningLinguist; 10-10-2004 at 10:34 AM.. Reason: Typos

10-10-2004, 02:27 AM	#2 (permalink)
janda_janda Banned	you are doing the right things, and a few threads down there's another about a woman not being able to orgasm from sex alone that has some good info - a LOT of women have trouble reaching orgasm and it's something a lot of us have had to learn get this book: For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality by Lonnie Barbach http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS...049415-3759318 it has a lot of good information, tip two: get a little vibrator, once she gets over the initial embarassment, she'll like it

10-10-2004, 06:14 AM	#6 (permalink)
ibis PIKE!	You've only been dating for a few months. Give it a while more. Having an orgasm with another is a very intimate thing, she may not be fully comfortable with sharing that with you just yet.

10-10-2004, 06:18 AM	#8 (permalink)
wally Crazy	My suggestion is to get a vibrator and try that.

10-10-2004, 10:36 AM	#10 (permalink)
summerkc Tilted Location: Indiana	She might be holding back because she doesn't want it to excalate to sex yet. When she is ready and trusts you to have sex, start to work on the problem then.

10-11-2004, 12:03 AM	#11 (permalink)
IckUber Funran Location: Norman, OK	besides her not being able to orgasim....have any girls ever laughed as long as preasure on their clits? She told me she doesnt know why she started laughing ( it doesnt always happen) but she wanted to know why, and what's wrong with her? __________________ How much is y'all Piolkles?

10-11-2004, 05:24 AM	#12 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Every so often, when I get really turned on, I also get really really ticklish... I could be touched pretty much anywhere, and I'd start laughing... (it's always very difficult to explain what I'm laughing at too ) __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

10-11-2004, 05:40 AM	#13 (permalink)
Nancy Femme Fatale Location: Elysium	Has she ever tried masturbating? __________________ I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

10-11-2004, 04:16 PM	#15 (permalink)
Missy Crazy	If your really trying to please her as much as you can and she's enjoying herself, don't worry too much about it. Things are going good and will happen when they happen.

10-12-2004, 06:52 PM	#16 (permalink)
valhallan Upright	Three words: Hitachi Magic Wand. My wife never had an orgasm (believe me, I tried) before I bought her one, and has never had any problem since. She needs a lot of stimulation, and doesn't have the patience for me to go down on her all night. She also had a huge hangup about masturbation, and wouldn't even use the Wand until her sister told her it had worked for her. She was a little bit put off at first by the fact that she's a "squirter", but got over it (I think it's hot). $45 and worth 10 times the price.

10-12-2004, 08:09 PM	#17 (permalink)
EmilyMu154 Upright Location: Oxford Ohio	getting off as a female who has never had an "orgasm" i will say that i agree having an orgasm is totally the responsibility of that person after much thought and many many attempts i discovered that my problem is that i am a control freak i can't stand not being able to control myself and my actions i have worked at it alone with a vibrator and with others i would also like to say that some people don't have crazy wild orgasms like one sees on tv, many women are much more internal about it and can really have very minor orgasm i say as long as i am enjoying myself and it feels good just keep on keeping on