to date or not to date - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

swoc · 10-02-2004, 01:35 AM

Hi everyone. I have a friend who is highly infatuated (since day 1) with a girl he met 2 years ago, except he is terrified to make a move or even let her know. During the beginning of this summer, he has confided in me his self-inflicted woes regarding possible rejection and failure if he were to do something.

This is the time when I was introduced to the girl, and her best friend – the four of us took a class together. I find the girl to be extremely attractive with a great personality but I restrained myself from stepping in or “cockblocking” my friend.

Over 3 months have passed and recently my friend claims that he has recovered from the imaginary relationship. On a side note, I have been talking to the girl’s best friend (who I do not find attractive at all) and I have a hunch that she might be interested in me.

Should I go for the girl? Or should I wait it out longer, and until when?

Carno · 10-02-2004, 06:01 PM

Ask him about it. If he's still sensitive about the situation, don't do it. If he doesn't care, go for it.

Just remember, losing a friend over a girl is not worth it. While it may be irrational for him to still have feelings for her, respect him. I sure as hell would never step in on a girl that one of my friends liked. No girl is worth the friendship I have with my buddies.

tomdom · 10-02-2004, 07:12 PM

as long as u comunicate with your friend on ur postion and make sure hes comfortable with it, theres no reason not to.
this is similar to a few occasions ive had with friends and i would always stay back if the guy was infatuated with the girl, but if it was just a "that girls really attractive" kind of thing, i would always go in as i love competition but never at the cost of a friend.

CityOfAngels · 10-02-2004, 07:43 PM

Talk to your friend about it. Be completely honest with him. Remember, you don't need his permission to date her, but when you talk to him, make it seem like you do. Ask his permission. It will show a lot of respect. Seriously, if he's your friend, and also given the fact he has never dated the girl, he should congratulate you rather than say something like, "Aw that's messed up." But if he does, don't just go super-independent on him and say "Screw you." Make sure your conversation with him takes as long as it should.

10-02-2004, 01:35 AM	#1 (permalink)
swoc Upright	friend's infatuation: to date or not to date Hi everyone. I have a friend who is highly infatuated (since day 1) with a girl he met 2 years ago, except he is terrified to make a move or even let her know. During the beginning of this summer, he has confided in me his self-inflicted woes regarding possible rejection and failure if he were to do something. This is the time when I was introduced to the girl, and her best friend – the four of us took a class together. I find the girl to be extremely attractive with a great personality but I restrained myself from stepping in or “cockblocking” my friend. Over 3 months have passed and recently my friend claims that he has recovered from the imaginary relationship. On a side note, I have been talking to the girl’s best friend (who I do not find attractive at all) and I have a hunch that she might be interested in me. Should I go for the girl? Or should I wait it out longer, and until when? Last edited by swoc; 10-02-2004 at 05:26 PM..

10-02-2004, 06:01 PM	#2 (permalink)
Carno Junkie	Ask him about it. If he's still sensitive about the situation, don't do it. If he doesn't care, go for it. Just remember, losing a friend over a girl is not worth it. While it may be irrational for him to still have feelings for her, respect him. I sure as hell would never step in on a girl that one of my friends liked. No girl is worth the friendship I have with my buddies.

10-02-2004, 07:12 PM	#3 (permalink)
tomdom Upright	as long as u comunicate with your friend on ur postion and make sure hes comfortable with it, theres no reason not to. this is similar to a few occasions ive had with friends and i would always stay back if the guy was infatuated with the girl, but if it was just a "that girls really attractive" kind of thing, i would always go in as i love competition but never at the cost of a friend.

10-02-2004, 07:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
CityOfAngels Oh shit it's Wayne Brady! Location: Passenger seat of Wayne Brady's car.	Talk to your friend about it. Be completely honest with him. Remember, you don't need his permission to date her, but when you talk to him, make it seem like you do. Ask his permission. It will show a lot of respect. Seriously, if he's your friend, and also given the fact he has never dated the girl, he should congratulate you rather than say something like, "Aw that's messed up." But if he does, don't just go super-independent on him and say "Screw you." Make sure your conversation with him takes as long as it should.