spikebrdr

i havent been on this forum in forever and sorry if im reposting anything(if i am can u send me a link the that post?) ive been dating my g/f for 8 months and we are pretty far down the sexual path. my only concern is that nothing i ever do turns her on or anything. i cant even understand why she likes messing around b/c from what she says she has never been horney. i go down on her and i spend 20 or 30 minuets down there and i cant seem to find a way to get her aroused. i mean she likes it but nothing i do is stimulating enough. i have talked her into many different positions and i have talked with her about what she likes and still nothing. anyone have any advice or tips to help me out?

maleficent

What birth control is she using? That could have an effect on libido?

You make a comment in your initial post I find incredibly disturbing, you say you "talked her into many differnt positions" if you are talking her into it, and it's not her idea to do this, then that could be affecting her. What are your ages? maybe she's just not ready for a sexual relationship yet.

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spikebrdr

i guess saying "talked her into" was a bad choice of words. she is extremly open to these things and is just as kinky as i am. i think she enjoys messing around more then i do. so yeah bad choice of words. as for birth control, i know she is on it b/c she has some stomach and hormone problems and takes it for that. we are only 17 but we have had long discussions about what we are doing and how ready she is and believe me its all up to her on what we do.

Rlyss

What sort of birth control is she on? Different sorts can affect libido in different ways. It sounds like you guys can't change to condoms because she has those "stomach and hormonal problems", so that's out.

Does she masturbate? Apologies for the blunt question, but if she does then she knows what she likes and where her 'spots' are, and she's got to communicate them to you. Not by sitting you down and saying 'Here, here, and here', but when you guys are in the bed, then she has to guide you and help you turn her on. I wouldn't say she's just laying back and expecting you to do all the work, because you say she's as kinky as you are, but perhaps she's so into trying things that might work for the both you, instead of telling you what works for her alone, and incorporating you into it.

If she doesn't masturbate then it's a hundred times more difficult. If she doesn't know what turns her on and what works for her then I think it's going to be pretty tough for the both of you to find things that work

spikebrdr

yeah and condoms are out b/c we arent even having sex. no she dosent masturbate b/c like i said shes not a horney person. and i do try to find out what she likes by trying different things but nothing seems to be working...

i8one2

besides the things mentioned above about libido, words and scenarios might help(dirty speak with a twist). let her relax and start with a story about how (insert theme) lets say, a studly knight came home from the crusades and was looking for his damsil...etc and what is going to do with her...
Another things that works( for me) is the aid of a toy or 2)...One for herself to explore and find the places on/in her that get her going. Let her do that by herself first and then, when she is getting have her show you.

Maybe have a theme nite once in a while(subby and I) love those...You can dress the part or just let her know about a theme in your head....shoot I give subby a few thoughts about what I will do to her after she falls asleep, to which I follow though on about 1/2 the time (when I feel) like it and it keeps her thinking, and either way she has a great day. If I to things, she warm and fully and if I don't she tries harder to please, I do do thing....and we are both winners.

Good luck I hope it helps.

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LEATHER, LATEX and LACE "SSC"
"Nothing That Gives Pleasure is Bad"

Quality is for those who know
what they want and are at peace with what they have.

"S/M is about emotion; the erotic tension between my impulse toward something and my resistance against it."-- Virginia Barker

Averett

D'oh!

(stupid 10 character limit)

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

MageB420666

dammit you beat me to it Averett.

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Apathy: The best outlook this side of I don't give a damn.