primord

Hello everyone ^_^ I've read here for a long time but have never posted before.

I 19, and have had three sexual partners. One lasted almost a year with the others being a few weeks and a few months. I would say I am VERY comfortable with my sexuality, and myself in general. I am straight; but am very accepting of other peoples etc etc etc. I would say I'm a Nympho, I LOVE sex and everything about it. I would say I'm picky about my girls hence only 3 partners.

I'm endowed above average; and my second girl who was 29 said I was the best lover she had ever had. The other two also said I was quite talented; and I would agree. I would rate my sexual prowness as a 9 or 10.

So heres the deal; I go home with a sorority girl a few nights ago.
Shes had two partners. Long story short we start getting it on and then my little friend suddently loses ALL interest as soon as we're both nekkid and busting out the condom. Before we shed our clothes and busted out the rubber; I was sporting my usual equipment.
Great, first time encounter, 97lb sorority girl with an AMAZING body and good personality. Yeah...

I am comfortable with my body. I'm 6'1, 180lbs. I don't have defined pecs and have a tiny tiny stomach paunche? but am fine with that. Shes 97lbs of gorgeous woman. One other thing that really threw me off; after getting nekkid and before giving up, while messing around she was barely wet but either a great actor or very horney. I am used to very wet girls; two of mine would run down their legs frequently.

So I can't get it up; and eventually we put our clothes back on, shes obviously concerned and doesn't know what to think, and I want to run away and hide in a corner..

So I've been obcessing over this, alot.
WTF is wrong with me? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS. I usually pop 6 boners a day? I mean diamond cutting ones..... and since then it's been MAYBE one medium hard one? MAYBE.

I told her it wasn't her, and don't think it was. She was gorgeous and very exciting.

So my question of older men or knowledgable women: What gives?

I understand it's all in my head, i failed once and am now utterly horrified of possible future failures. I don't have a steady sexual partner to allay my fears so it just manifests itself.

So earlier that night; we had been talking. She told me about her first man who evidently had a donkey dick. She told me about the second guy who couldn't get it up the second time they went at it; and how odd and amusing it was to her. She told me how she told the second guy he was small when he was trying to brag.

Obviously; this along with ALOT of stress and lack of sleep contributed to my problem. The question is now: what do I do. It's not getting better, I can't stop thinking about it, and I'm TERRIFIED of a second round which I'm sure she's interested in.

thanks,
i appreciate the feedback immensely.

shakran

so let's see. . ..

The little witch tells you that she makes fun of penises that are not up to her specifications, and she makes fun of sexual performance that is not to her exacting standard, and you're surprised that you lacked the desire to have sex with her?

Sounds like your penis is more discriminating than you give it credit for. Perhaps it was trying to tell you something. . . . Get away and don't look back!

Seriously, I wouldn't worry about it at all. She sounds like a class-A jerk who made it plain from before you started that she'd be waiting to pounce on anything she found sub-par. That combined with your lack of sleep is almost certainly the sole reason for your performance issues that night.

Find yourself a woman who isn't a total asshat and you should be fine

primord

Thank you.

Maybe I made her out to be worse than she is. I really do like her as a person; but she does have problems. I seem to attract really fucked up girls for some reason; I have no idea why. I don't think I've ever had a relationship with a "normal" girl "next"door".

She is really self concious - to the point of making me uneasy.
She is a honest girl I think; I truely do not think there is an evil bone in her body.

I think I understand WHY it happened, probably alot of things contributed.
I realized it's not forever. I realize there doesn't HAVE to be a reason.

I don't know how to quit thinking about it.
I don't know how to move on, like getting daily boners for example.


.... With all that said; I did spend some quality time with a quality movie, and am feeling quite a bit better. Let's hope it lasts.

I'd still like to hear other's ideas....

Wax_off

Well, my first idea is DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT TOO MUCH!!! Really. The more you obsess about this the more likely it is to happen. You'll hear this over and over, but it happens to every guy. I've lost a hard on in the middle of sex. Was kind of a bummer, but I went on to other things and still had fun, no big deal. On the rare times when hard ons are lost, I know that it's not a permanant condition, that I'll get a hard on again. As you get older your ability to maintain a hard on will probably decrease, it's one of those stupid parts of how your body is built, so get used to it, learn to perform in other ways. That's just part of being good in bed, being adaptable.

Second, work on self esteem that isn't attached to your sexual performance. It sounds like one of the reasons you're making such a big deal about this is because a big part of what you think of yourself is tied up in your penis. This is trouble. Your erection does not define you as a person.

Rlyss

It's all in your mind then, I wouldn't worry about it too much. That is the problem, though, that it's so difficult not to worry about it, it seems impossible. It's a circular thing, a cycle, where it happens once for whatever reason (lack of sleep, diet, exercise, just having an off day, having a partner who puts fears in your mind), and then next time you wonder 'Will it happen again?' Sort of like a self-fulfilling prophesy, I think it's called?

I guess only you can decide if the woman you were with caused any of this. And if she is 'honest' or if she's just a jerk. You said yourself that she's self-conscious, and if she makes fun of her parter's genitals then she's probably trying to make herself better that way. Sort of like how bullies pick on others because they feel inferior. That's just something to think about. But then again, you don't really sound like you want a relationship with her, so perhaps it's a bit irrelevent?

If it's just a casual thing then just go for it next time you're with her, don't let her bring up her past boyfriends, and I bet it'll all go smoothly

Dale Kemp

Women can fake it, men usually can't. You libido was telling you that you were'nt into this. Maybe not into her, or the uncommitted sex. Whatever.

Maybe you really want to find love, and casual sex as a substitute is failing to satisfy.

__________________
Trueheart

Averett

97lb girl with an AMAZING body? Was she 4'10"? Cause it sounds like girlfriend needs a sammich.

And you're fine...

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

Dane Bramage

For me there has to be an emotional connection. The one time something like this happened to me, I didn't really care about the girl. It was just about the sex... which didn't happen.

I have to agree with shakran. She sounds like a bit of a ball-buster. If she made that big of a deal about it before y'all got it on, then chances are you were very concerned about your performance which could cause you to loose focus. Being self concious about yourself is the quickest turn off.

If you really do like this girl, then try again. If she is actually a person and not just a great body, then she will understand that it actually does happen to everybody. If she is nothing more than a f*ck toy, then you may want to look for someone with a little more compassion.

DB.

__________________
Every passing hour brings the Solar System forty-three thousand miles closer to Globular Cluster M13 in Hercules — and still there are some misfits who insist that there is no such thing as progress.
Kurt Vonnegut - Sirens of Titan

gentlesoul43

Stress, anxiety, lack of sleep.. all these can contribute to your lack of hardness or losing it halfway during sex. It's happened to me many times during my last 15 years of sex life. And it's only recently that I figured out that I'm not getting impotent and that I still have my manhood.

I'm still concerned that it will happen again when I try to have sex. But I'm coming to accept that it will happen once in a while, and the less anxious I am about it, the less are the chances of it happening.

There is this one particular girl that I am with where when it happens, it really bothers me. I think she's real sexy and we are great friends and I love everything about her. She's also very desirable and I would say that perhaps I feel a little less confident sexually with her. Also, the fact that we shouldn't be doing it.. all that probably led to the anxiety and hence, sometimes under-performance. I think she prob wonders whether its her. I've tried to reassure her but obviously if this keeps going on, I'm not going to get it anymore. The thing is, I am sooo turned on by her. We have kinky sex and we talk about how we're going to progress it further the next time. Anyway, she's had a change of heart (for reasons unrelated to the above) and maybe we won't be doing it anymore or at least for a while now.

Just relax.. try to get yourself hard and masturbate to regain your confidence.. maybe even get a partner to experiment with.. you'll be back to your old self again. And try not to see it as a long term problem. Judging from the posts here, it happens to some of us but we still keep going.

gabshu

my best friend is a gorgeous blonde, sorority girl looking. She tried sleeping with like 4 guys and neither of them could get hard. it was very weird, so maybe it is the girl in your case too.

stonegrody

Sounds like it's purely psychological. Try to shake it off and forget about it. If you keep thinking about it, chances are you'll think about it next time you're about to get it on and then guess what...Limp Bizkit!