A threesome has been proposed, need advice.
 

An interesting thing happened to me this evening. My wife of 8 years and I went out with a girl from work for supper and some drinks. Before the drinks were finished both the girls were pretty plastered and being very liberal with each other.....talking about threesomes and such. Please bear in mind that my wife doesnt drink much so it doesnt take much to get her wasted. Anyway, the friend we were with was in no shape to drive so we took her home. Upon arrival she proceeded to work very hard on the wife kissing and fondeling and such to the point that they asked me what to do. I suppose I was in complete shock that this was even happening to me. I, like most men,
have always fantasized about being with two women but when this was proposed I was not so sure that it should happen, not tonight at least.

A. they wer both very drunk.
B. what if she decides she likes pussy as well as I do and drops me like a bad
habit.
C. I've always thought that fantasys were meant to be thought of, not
carried out.
D. What unknown consequences would acting on this bring.
E. Said friend is very attractive, but we both work with her and she is the
niece of the man that owns our company.
F. She has been around the block....several times would be my guess.


That is just a brief look at what was crossing my mind a this transpired. In the end we decided that since alcohol was involved we had better head to the house and call it a night. So here I am now, faced with a concept I never really thought I would have to face and I dont know what to do really. I feel like she really wanted to do it which scares the shit out of me. I like the concept but im not sure its a good thing to do. So I turn to my tfp friends for advice. I would like to hear from someone who might have experience in a situation like this.....who might have some input about what the consequences could be. I love my wife with all my heart, and I dont want to do anything that could prove devistating to our relationship. Thanks for your input.

Talk about it with everyone when all are sober. Then make your decisions.

well, I have never been in that situation, but my gf has been thinking about finding a girlfriend with possibility of a threesome.

I would suggest talking it over with all parties sober. It will help everyone keep from making a big mistake, also if you decide to do it, have the girl get a std test.
You probably shouldn't worry about your wife deciding that she likes pussy and not dick, she is most likely just bi-sexual or bi-curious, and if she is gay then it's going to become an issue sooner or later, no matter what you do, and if you truely do love her with all your heart then I would be willing to bet that you want her to be happy, even if it's not with you(although I know you would prefer her to be happy with you).

You may want to be careful about entering into this type of a relationship with a relative of your companies owner. That could have financial reprecusions.

Good for you for not doing this while the lot of you were drunk. That could have caused trouble.

The three of you should talk about it sometime, while sober, and then take it from there.

getting involved, even once, with someone you work with always seems to get complicated and messy.

but it does create good stories for the rest of us :)

Make sure you set aside guidelines ahead of time. Communication is VERY VERY important. If someone is unclear then things could go wrong, if not during the actual act, then afterwards. Ie. is it just a one night thing, do you expect it to be a regular occurance? Is it just this one person? What if they want to get together without you to swing? I mean all of this stuff should be considered, especially since she's your wife and not just a random girl?

Just some things to think about and my two cents.

Sounds like trouble to me. Check your list again:

You're right about C: it's a variation on "Be careful what you wish for".
D: there will most probably be unknown consequences; some of them might be unplesant.
E: you work with her. At the very least, it will be awkward.
F: Doesn't sound very flattering, to put it gently.

Why mess with yours and your wife's heads?

Given the variables, I'd pass. But then, I'm a boring, undaring, unexciting man who'd rather be happy with what he has, than risk it all for something as frivolous and complicated as a threesome with the boss' niece.

From your concerns, it sounds like something you should not do. Your worries will not go away if you go through with it, they will only get worse. Your wife and a co-worker? Just sounds like a bad mix. What if something goes wrong? Then you have to deal with it at home and at work. If you and your wife do decide this is something you want to do, you probably want to find a third who is not a co-worker and is not a relative of another person who can make your life a living hell. As enticing as threesomes are, this one may just not be worth it. Good thinking to sleep on it. Although it could have been one of those awesomely cool drunken mistakes, it's probably best that it wasn't.

Bad news...good to wait till everyone's sober.

Not likely to happen - speaking from experience here. Ratbastid and I recently started having sex with a couple who are friends of ours, and I really, really like pussy but I still love my husband. She's not going to leave you over this - the worst that will happen is she'll want to do it again.

It depends - there are some fantasies that are probably better left fantasies, particularly where there's a potential for someone to get hurt. This can qualify as one of those - you're definitely opening a can of worms that could cause some trouble if you don't lay the groundwork: Communication, communication, communication, and clear ground rules.

Aye, there's the rub. You don't know what consequences it could bring - could bring you closer together, could cause trouble for your marriage. It's hard to predict how people are going to react. The question is whether the experience is worth the likely consequences.

Eek...bad news. If something goes horribly wrong you could be in a very uncomfortable position.

So if you decide to do anything, take precautions.

Good luck if you decide to go for it, but proceed with caution and eyes wide open.

Good call.
Right, there's nothing so important as caution.
Take your time, keep thinking, and don't rush anything.
Things take time.

As I have never had this happen to me, I can't give you any advice. I would have a serious sober talk with my wife over something that could possibly be the end of our marrige. Good Luck.

I'd do it, tape it, and post a link to it on the TB.

Of course, before doing that, I'd talk it out with my wife.

DON'T DO IT!

A) You work with this girl.

B) Who knows what path you'll go down. What if your wife wants to be banged by two guys at once? You down with that?


Search these forums, it's been asked before.

As long as you weren't trying to coerce anyone into doing something they don't want to do, then I would've gone for it. Spontaneity is what makes the whole experience mind-blowing. Trust me...

I think your wife could turn out liking pussy better....hell you never know! I would say it is to much of a risk you take.

Is this importent enough to you to possibly loose your wife of 8 years over?

Have you and your wife ever discussed threesomes and her desire for pussy? The way you described it, the situation was a total surprise.

Do you have children? If yes, don't do it.

STOP, Look before you cross.

Ask yourself this question.

Does one night (or a month) of bliss enough to make up for all the headaches it MAY cause with wife/boss/work at this point of your life?

Do it and claim you were drunk too if it is mentioned........they both had to have some kind of feelings to even think of it even if they drunk....but dont shit in your own backyard..

I agree with the others. Talk about it while sober. That way, nobody's life gets fucked up and all parties are in agreement.

well, the wife and I talked about it the next morning, and while I still feel like there is more talking that is needed before it could happen, im getting the feeling that this probably will happen at some point. watching them turned me on, the wife was turned on watching the other girl straddle and grind on me, so what the hell, as long as noone is drunk when making the decision i can go with it. As far as the owner of the company goes, he knows she has a sex life anyway, and she is certanily old enough to take care of herself (33). And if in the end she decides she like pussy better, then its like MageB420666 said, it would be an issue sooner or later anyway. So what the hell i figure, if the opportunity presents itself again ill go for it.

Thanks for all your input.

Of course, if/when it happens, you will have to report back again, so all of us who want this to happen can live vicariously through you. :-)

Been there, there was A LOT of talk beforehand, as far as limits, then some great fantasy sex. First off, both of you have to be completely trusting in the other, both have to want the same thing. If its all cool, have a good time!! Just remember to "go hom wit da wun dat brung ya"

You all work together. Don't do it.

Yup. Disaster waiting to happen right there.

Let me just say this.

ratbastid and I, and D and S, are (humbly but realistically speaking) some of the most self-aware, conscientious, responsible people we know. None of us have more than your average amount of emotional baggage. We live an hour apart. We are best friends.

It takes every ounce of emotional control we have for us to keep things working.

If it's not worth that, don't do it.

Don't fish in the company pond.

Just go hook up with some chick at the bar or in the personal ads.

honestly, if you were familar witht he company, you would realize why Im not all that concerned about it. Its often considered the sex/drug capitol of the area. Its the kind of place where as long as you come to work when you are supposed to, and your sober and not stoned or otherwise fucked up, the chief really doesnt give a rats ass what or who you do when you are on your own time.

It's not necessarly how the company feels about it... What if you go through with the threesome and it doesn't go well? What if you and your wife want it to continue but the other woman doesn't? Or the other way around?

It's about making the workplace uncomfortable. For you and your coworkers.

There you go, destroying the #1 male fantasy.
:eek:

But seriously, sounds like good advice.

i say find a different chick you and your wife get what you want and you remove one of your concerns having to do w/ the office.

I've actually been presented with a similiar situation, except that it was with my girlfriend. And there was no beer involved. And nothing has actually really happened yet. So maybe it isn't that similar, so I guess my answer is different than yours.

I think its admirable of you to stop them when they were incredibly drunk. call me paranoid, but I would send her to have the most extensive tests done that are available. then put a chastity belt on her until you're ready to go. I'd hate to see an STD introduced to the relationship due to this. if you think that she really wants to do it, and you have a lengthy discussion about it, and you still feel confident that it'll be okay, then i encourage you to proceed with caution. good luck, and I hope my post makes sense

I admire your decision "htwhite" you see i think all those a's b's c's d's and what nots are all just paranioa and you should just go with it, but im a toker and i have pretty much lost all the concerns except the ones that really matter and i would go for it, i probably would of done the same thing you did but second time around it would be different and alot of fun, and maybe your wife just wants a little kinkyness in her sex life thats nothing you can complain about

well, since that night I have given it a lot of thought, and had several discussions with my other half. If placed in the situation again I am now certain that she is good with it,
which makes me good with it, so if she looked at me and asked what to do again I would certainly say "do it". If that will happen anytime soon, or ever, I do not know. Its not anything I intend to push for, but I will be ok with giving control over too the little head next time :)