Urgent need of advice...please
 

Hey,

I've been going out with my girlfriend for the last 2 years. I love her to death, and I know that she's the one for me.

Here in lies the problem: Before her, I fooled around a lot. I have a very high sex drive, and have many fantasies that she cannot fulfill. (ie. being with women of other race and size) The sex with my g/f is great, but sometimes I miss the variety, and now knowing what lies under that blouse. I would never cheat on her because that's disgusting. I've tried to talk her into 3-somes and the sort, but she said seeing me indulge in pleasure with anyone but her would make her sick.

What do I do ?

I love her, but I have so many fantasies that she cannot fulfill..do ZI suck it up, because in the longrun she is all I want, or...???????

easy...SUCK IT UP!!! pussy is pussy is pussy. it doesnt matter what size or race a girl is. pussy is pussy, and that's that. now, a pussy that LOVES you...now that is a different pussy. prolly the best.

I think that you've answered you own question.

"I love her to death, and I know that she's the one for me."
"in the longrun she is all I want"

If you sincerely mean that, then you should keep going and stay with her. If you can't bear to go without fulfilling your fantasies, then you'll have to explain that to her and probably break her heart by leaving.

if the love is there, stay there

you can always close your eyes and fantasize to your heart's content.

suck it up

some people would say suck it up... I'd say it to.. but lets' investigate the I can't just eat lobster every day.. I gotta have some steak some variety...

well if you did, you'd have problems with her. she'd be upset with you and you could lose her forever.

so.. there you go.

Try and imagine, if you could have any woman(within reason) you wanted. Now imagine your girlfriend getting banged by someone else but good and enjoying every second of it. Now imagine what life would be like without your girlfriend. Life is full of sacrifices- it's up to you to find which ones are worth it.

Integrity, that's the key here. What's the contract? She's said NO. you've stayed, and repeated your love for her and her alone. That's the contract. Men of integrity honor their contracts, whether written, spoken or implied. Contracts CAN change over time, but they don't HAVE to. If the agreement changes then you can re-address that issue.

There's another thread on here about 3-somes that you would do well to read, in addition to this one. I haven't posted on that one, mostly because it seemed mostly hypothetical, and it didn't matter to me, but since I'm here, here's my lousy $.02 ....

Threesomes are great. IF you both agree and IF you are both completely comfortable, and IF the communication line is strong enough to lay down ground rules for all involved. No always means NO, and ANYone is free at ANY time to STOP proceedings with no hard feelings.

At this point, again, she's already stopped the proceedings. And frankly, Cynthetiq, while I agree with your post in total, the first phrase about lobster doesn't quite work with Logic. The fact is if you have a BALANCED meal, you CAN live off the same one indefinately. (God knows I'd certainly want a pizza now and again myself!)

Stick with the agreement, or leave the relationship completely. Fact is you already know that, or you wouldn't have put it up for discussion. (either that, or you're having a great time just seeing what other people really think!) Either way, my answer's the same. < grin >

you have for a fact, answered your own question

I think it is our burden to always want to sleep with other people. If you care about her, you have to be willing to commit to monogamy.

So, as the posters above have said, suck it up.

If you need more variety, teach your gf new positions and such. Maybe a fetish or two. Get some toys and/or a sex swing. Maybe she's into enemas and doesn't know it. How 'bout some b&d (eek!)?

Fantasy come and go. If your sure she is the one then forget one fantasy and move on to one you both can share.

I agree with Toxic515. All a man can ever have of any value is his integrity. If you truly love her and decide to commit yourself to her you have not lost anything other than maybes. If you decide to leave, you may have lost much, something many people never find. Either way you must stick by your decision. Do not fool yourself into believing that this is the ultimate decision of your life. Any decision opens the door to other decisions. It's unavoidable. If you truly love her (and believe me you will know this without a shadow of doubt) and you decide to stay true to her, then remember that it's only the first step. Things might go bad or be better than you ever imagined. A man of integrity sticks by his decision no matter which way events unfold. As far as your fantasies go, I wish I would win the lottery, too. Can a man of integrity be a slave to his fantasies? Perhaps....

you're definitely going to have to sacrifice that.

hold on to her. don't screw it up.

hehe, you're 12 and 0. i think it's time to make the decision.

13 and 0. You love each other. That's part of making a commitment.

don't be an idiot..if you have weird fantasies look 'em up here and jerk off.:D

don't throw away a great girlfriend for something trivial.

you stole the words RIGHT from my mouth. lol

Maybe she just doesn't realize that she's into kink yet. As for you, trust me, you can find other things to keep you sated.

true true. a girl that loves you back, is very hard to find. don't believe me?, check out the other forums and advices from men/women who can't find "the one."

stick with it. take it from a girl, finding someone who loves you back is well-nigh impossible most of the time.

Plain and simple, as long as you're with her, you're going to be unsatisfied, which is even more unfair to her than it could ever be for you. If only for her sake, break it off before things get even more serious than they already are.

I wish I could tell you differently. Good luck my man.

Just masturbate.

I'm serious.

Here's what you do. Share the fantasy with her, and enjoy it with her <i>as a fantasy</i>. Make sure she's clear it's not something you need to actually <i>happen</i>, just something you like to think about and imagine, and invite her to think about it and imagine it with you.

Free her up to share her fantasies with you--she'll probably surprise you! Most women have deeper fantasy lives than most men usually expect. You never know what she might come up with to keep you entertained.

The bottom line here is COMMUNICATION. Once you're both free to talk with each other and feel like you can say anything to each other, then your sex life AND the rest of your relationship can start to really blossom.

You have your doubts. You want a taste of something different. Unless you indulge that taste you will always wonder how it would have tasted.....

I believe when a man is ready to commit he knows it and he is satisfied that all his thirsts have been quenched.

You need to indulge your needs first, or learn that what you currently desire is not important before you commit to one person.

Prescription: Porn

Directions: For minor relief of relationship sex boredom.

Indications: Take twice daily, or as needed. Discontinue use if swelling or inflamation occurs. See doctor if fantasies are about things you can't even find on the internet.