Not Interested, But gets Jealous... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Great_White · 08-21-2004, 10:00 PM

Ok, so I've been interested in this one girl for.. About a year now. I'm pretty sure she's not interested. But everytime I start to see a girl she always asks 'Hey hows your girlfriend?" Even if its a girl I've seen just once. And then when I finally had a girlfriend she immediatley starts telling me about some older guy she met, and how everyone our age is so immature.

So I press her on it a bit, and she "doesnt know if shes interested in me." I really dont think thats a great response.. I was convinced she wasnt and that I should just forget about her in that sense. I mean were great friends, we talk all the time. But I always invite her places and she never goes. So I dont know. Shes been through a few things latley, so i just left a door open for her saying if she ever wants to do anything, icecream, minigolf, whatever, just say the word. I really dont think she will seeing as how she is the epitome of a traditional girl (which I love so much about her) but I dont know, I'd like some insight I guess.

KirStang · 08-21-2004, 10:12 PM

You're probably one of her closer friends, or somebody that she feels that she has control over, and because of this, she doesn't want to lose control or feel distanced from you because of another person.

Just a quick thought that passed through my mind as i read your post. Best of luck

Seaver · 08-21-2004, 10:21 PM

Dude, every girl wants to be wanted. Wether or not they actually want that guy they want to be wanted by him. She's being stupid right now if she is interested. You need to call her on it.

Tell her that if she wants to be with you to do it or stop being stupid when you talk to other girls. This will make her show her hand, dont allow her to play those games. Dont let her use the excuse of "I've got a lot of things going on right now", if a girl likes a guy it's amazing what they'll do or the time they'll find.

If she doesn't say that yes she wants to be with you then get another girl. Keep this one as a friend but dont let her pull the jealousy card, everytime she says something just tell her she had a chance.

I had a girl that did this for a year and a half, finally I got fed up. Told her not to play any stupid games, that if she wanted to be with me to speak up. She didnt take it. Then I got another girlfriend and suddenly she was infactuated with me. After the relationship ended I got with her and we were great. Everytime we'd talk she'd thank me for telling her to stop being stupid and calling her on her BS.

Esco · 08-21-2004, 10:22 PM

Sounds like you're "just a friend". Don't worry, it happens to the best of us.

But ... there's still hope if she hasn't made up her mind. Or maybe she's being polite. Hmmm, just keep being nice to her and see what happens. In the mean time, I'd probably start playing the field untill I had something more concrete from her.

Great_White · 08-21-2004, 10:27 PM

I do play the field. I've seen 3 girls this summer, and had a relationship with two. (Though both were brief and to varying degrees.)

I cant see myself losing sleep over her at any point if I dont have something more with her, but I wouldn't like to lose her as a friend and I know she wouldnt want to lose me. So we'll see. We've grown pretty close in the last few months as when compared before that, despite that we havent seen much of eachother. But Im pretty sure its plutonic and im fine with that.

rukkyg · 08-22-2004, 05:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlingBling

Sounds like you're "just a friend". Don't worry, it happens to the best of us.

You must jump ladders.

bermuDa · 08-22-2004, 10:44 AM

sounds like a control issue to me, she's trying to keep you dangling by your jockstrap. If she's really interested, she' going to miss the boat cause someday you're going to get into a real relationship and she whittled away her time playing mindgames with you

CityOfAngels · 08-22-2004, 11:31 AM

Sounds like an attention whore. If you can bed her, go for it. But as far as a relationship goes? Once she can finally say "Ok, I have full control of him now," she'll be on the lookout for someone else. The relationship will either end in you breaking up with her for going out with other guys, or her actually cheating on you. Either way, it's a completely stressful situation that will take a lot of time to occur, leaving you in the dust wondering what happened.
So when it comes to a relationship, RUN LIKE THE WIND!

08-21-2004, 10:00 PM	#1 (permalink)
Great_White Tilted Location: Southern Cali	Not Interested, But gets Jealous... Ok, so I've been interested in this one girl for.. About a year now. I'm pretty sure she's not interested. But everytime I start to see a girl she always asks 'Hey hows your girlfriend?" Even if its a girl I've seen just once. And then when I finally had a girlfriend she immediatley starts telling me about some older guy she met, and how everyone our age is so immature. So I press her on it a bit, and she "doesnt know if shes interested in me." I really dont think thats a great response.. I was convinced she wasnt and that I should just forget about her in that sense. I mean were great friends, we talk all the time. But I always invite her places and she never goes. So I dont know. Shes been through a few things latley, so i just left a door open for her saying if she ever wants to do anything, icecream, minigolf, whatever, just say the word. I really dont think she will seeing as how she is the epitome of a traditional girl (which I love so much about her) but I dont know, I'd like some insight I guess.

08-22-2004, 10:44 AM	#7 (permalink)
bermuDa don't ignore this--> Location: CA	sounds like a control issue to me, she's trying to keep you dangling by your jockstrap. If she's really interested, she' going to miss the boat cause someday you're going to get into a real relationship and she whittled away her time playing mindgames with you __________________ I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.

08-21-2004, 10:12 PM	#2 (permalink)
KirStang Future Bureaucrat	You're probably one of her closer friends, or somebody that she feels that she has control over, and because of this, she doesn't want to lose control or feel distanced from you because of another person. Just a quick thought that passed through my mind as i read your post. Best of luck

08-21-2004, 10:21 PM	#3 (permalink)
Seaver Junkie Location: Fort Worth, TX	Dude, every girl wants to be wanted. Wether or not they actually want that guy they want to be wanted by him. She's being stupid right now if she is interested. You need to call her on it. Tell her that if she wants to be with you to do it or stop being stupid when you talk to other girls. This will make her show her hand, dont allow her to play those games. Dont let her use the excuse of "I've got a lot of things going on right now", if a girl likes a guy it's amazing what they'll do or the time they'll find. If she doesn't say that yes she wants to be with you then get another girl. Keep this one as a friend but dont let her pull the jealousy card, everytime she says something just tell her she had a chance. I had a girl that did this for a year and a half, finally I got fed up. Told her not to play any stupid games, that if she wanted to be with me to speak up. She didnt take it. Then I got another girlfriend and suddenly she was infactuated with me. After the relationship ended I got with her and we were great. Everytime we'd talk she'd thank me for telling her to stop being stupid and calling her on her BS.

08-21-2004, 10:22 PM	#4 (permalink)
Esco Insane	Sounds like you're "just a friend". Don't worry, it happens to the best of us. But ... there's still hope if she hasn't made up her mind. Or maybe she's being polite. Hmmm, just keep being nice to her and see what happens. In the mean time, I'd probably start playing the field untill I had something more concrete from her.

08-21-2004, 10:27 PM	#5 (permalink)
Great_White Tilted Location: Southern Cali	I do play the field. I've seen 3 girls this summer, and had a relationship with two. (Though both were brief and to varying degrees.) I cant see myself losing sleep over her at any point if I dont have something more with her, but I wouldn't like to lose her as a friend and I know she wouldnt want to lose me. So we'll see. We've grown pretty close in the last few months as when compared before that, despite that we havent seen much of eachother. But Im pretty sure its plutonic and im fine with that.

08-22-2004, 11:31 AM	#8 (permalink)
CityOfAngels Oh shit it's Wayne Brady! Location: Passenger seat of Wayne Brady's car.	Sounds like an attention whore. If you can bed her, go for it. But as far as a relationship goes? Once she can finally say "Ok, I have full control of him now," she'll be on the lookout for someone else. The relationship will either end in you breaking up with her for going out with other guys, or her actually cheating on you. Either way, it's a completely stressful situation that will take a lot of time to occur, leaving you in the dust wondering what happened. So when it comes to a relationship, RUN LIKE THE WIND!