08-20-2004, 09:06 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Junkie
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
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Mistakes Made with the Opposite Sex
So, a piece of spam caught my attention and had to actually read it... It was entitled the Ten Mistakes that Men Make with Women.. it was trying to sell some sort of e-book about how to succeed with women or something (I love SPAM that hits it's target audience)
Anyhow - it's claim that the 10 mistakes that men make with women are: MISTAKE #1: Being Too Much Of A “Nice Guy” Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted "nice" guys? Of course you have. Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU. What's going on here? It's actually very simple... Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them. And guess what? Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION. And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you. I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET OVER IT. Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want. MISTAKE #2: Trying To “Convince Her To Like You” What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like... but she's just notinterested? Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently. Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION! Never, ever, EVER. You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning". Think about it. If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her? But we all do it. When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind. Bad idea. One that will never work. MISTAKE #3: Looking To Her For Approval Or Permission In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission". Another HORRIBLE idea. Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them... EVER. Don't get me wrong here. You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you. But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again. You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval. Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her... MISTAKE #4: Trying To “Buy” Her Affection With Food And Gifts How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did? If you're like me, then you've had it happen a LOT. Well guess what? It's only NATURAL when this happens... That's right, I said NATURAL. When you do these things, you send a clear message: I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection". Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I said that women see this as MANIPULATION. MISTAKE #5: Sharing “How You Feel” Too Early In The Relationship With Her Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on. Attractive women are rare. And they get a LOT of attention from men. Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE TIME. An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translate into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month. And guess what? Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men. That's right. They have EXPERIENCE. They know what to expect. And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates. This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't control themselves. Don't do it. Lean back. Relax. MISTAKE #6: Not “Getting” How Attraction Works For Women Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION. You need to accept this fact, and deal with it. When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction. But does the same apply for women? Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on? Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks. Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around? Think about it. Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men... and they're attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone. If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman. But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this. And ANY guy can learn how... MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It Takes Money And Looks One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they've even gotten started... because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money... or guys who are a certain height... or guys who are a certain age. And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things. But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks. There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet... And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys. YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome. Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman. MISTAKE #8: Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission. Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women. Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants. Another bad idea... Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over... Women aren't attracted to Wussies! MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each Type Of Situation With Women Now I'm going to blow your mind... A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking. Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES. I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it. And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won't help! And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating... Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical... everything. If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING. And you KNOW it. t is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a woman... from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom. MISTAKE #10: Not Getting HELP Blah blah -- this is the hardsell as to why you should sign up for his newsletter and he tells you all about how he's dated actresses and models and such... <hr> So -- any good advice in this SPAM (I know it's hard to beleive) To make a topic out of this - What are the mistakes that men make with women, and that women make with men?
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
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08-20-2004, 09:50 AM | #2 (permalink) |
soaring
Location: near the water
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That's a fairly lengthy way to walk around a basic human trait in women. Without overanalyzing this too much, for the most part, I have to agree with it. Good, bad, right or wrong, most women will not date wussies. That doesn't mean that they'll only date assholes who'll be mean to them, not buy them flowers and candy and plays hard to get. Obviously there are loopholes to all situations, and every couple is different. As far as generalizations go that i've read recently. This is fairly close. *sigh*
Thanks Maleficent, good read.
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all I wanna do is - give the best of me to you |
08-20-2004, 09:54 AM | #3 (permalink) |
Loser
Location: Scenic Drive
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Maleficient...while this "spam" makes some good points, to me the biggest mistake both men and women make with the opposite sex, is not being themselves.
I by no means claim to have the inside track on the subject, but have been around a bit in my day, and have learned that you gotta be yourself. I think the mistake both genders make is in trying to be what they perceive the other wants them to be. If we could all tell what the other wants, and successfully be that something...then any of us could have any other at any time we want. It doesn't work that way, trust me. If you are a type A man, then somewhere, somehow there will be a type A woman, trying to convince a type G woman that you aren't an A, indeed you are a G, won't fool her for very long. Of course if you are an A, just trying to get in the sack with a G, give it a try, but be prepared to go looking again the next day. |
08-20-2004, 09:58 AM | #4 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: Amish-land, PA
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I've learned over the years that, for everything that seems logical and right to me, I must employ the opposite in order to make it work for a woman. The female brain, for some strange reason, does not seem to follow the relationship logic that most men are born with. It gets frustrating.
Me, I tend to get too attached to a person. Hey, silly me...we go out, have a nice night together, she watches a movie curled up in my arms and holding my hand, kiss for a while before the night is over...why the hell would I ever think that she'd like to stay with me. Nah, she was just having a fun night. Next night some new guy. No man that I know seems to understand why this phenomenon occurs, but it happens...a lot. Either that, or I just get attracted to female players...
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"I've made only one mistake in my life. But I made it over and over and over. That was saying 'yes' when I meant 'no'. Forgive me." |
08-20-2004, 10:12 AM | #5 (permalink) |
Shade
Location: Belgium
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I think it's funny the author keeps going on and on about the fact that you should know what to do, and how to act, but doesn't actually tell you anything new, useable or concrete. Since he's quite the expert, how about sharing some stuff, like Plan9 does or tries to do.
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08-20-2004, 10:21 AM | #6 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
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Quote:
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
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