Neglect

[Meier_Link]

Here's the deal. My girlfriend of about one and a half years has been treating me strangely. We usually see each other at least every other day. This week I saw her Saturday and briefly on Sunday. The rest of the week I have just been neglected and put off. Maybe it's just me, but here's how it has been: doesn't answer my phone calls, when she calls me back our conversation is short; she's doing other things, when we get off the phone there's no "I love you" or anything, just bye.

Maybe I'm just blowing this out of proportion in my mind, but I'd like to know your thoughts on the matter. I'm not sure if I should make a big deal about it, calmly state that she's hurting my feelings, or give her an ultimatum. Leaves me paranoid; has she found someone else? is she mad at me? is she just sick of me? I really hate being put off and she knows this...

[maleficent]

Ultimatums = really really bad idea.

Whatever is going on with her, an ultimatum will get you shown the door very quickly, if she has any sense.

You need to talk to her about how you feel, not how she's making you feel. Pointing fingers at her and accusing her of somemthing aren't a good start to the conversation.

Ask her if somethings is going on, that you care about her, and you want to help her.

[Rlyss]

If she ignores your calls (looks at the caller ID and doesn't pick up), send her a phone message straight away saying that you called and that you can't wait for her to call back, when she's not busy. If I'm screening my calls I always check who's calling, but I can't resist checking a message. That way she'll know that you wanted to speak to her, and not just for a chat.

Because maybe this week is just really hectic for her. Maybe she's just not in a conversation-ing mood, and doesn't want to just chat for the sake of chatting. If I were you'd I'd leave it until the weekend or so, at least for a few more days, and see if she voluntarily explains her actions. Otherwise it's definitely time to ask her nicely about it. Don't confront her or give her an ultimatum, just ask her nicely.

[doncalypso]

Originally Posted by Meier_Link

Here's the deal. My girlfriend of about one and a half years has been treating me strangely. We usually see each other at least every other day. This week I saw her Saturday and briefly on Sunday. The rest of the week I have just been neglected and put off. Maybe it's just me, but here's how it has been: doesn't answer my phone calls, when she calls me back our conversation is short; she's doing other things, when we get off the phone there's no "I love you" or anything, just bye.

Maybe I'm just blowing this out of proportion in my mind, but I'd like to know your thoughts on the matter. I'm not sure if I should make a big deal about it, calmly state that she's hurting my feelings, or give her an ultimatum. Leaves me paranoid; has she found someone else? is she mad at me? is she just sick of me? I really hate being put off and she knows this...

Are you sure she's neglecting you?... Or could it be that she used to smother you and all of a sudden you feel neglected because she's not showering you with an overload of attention?

But then again, if she used to be more lovey-dovey and all of a sudden turned cold it could be a sign that she's not being faithful or that she has intentions of leaving you.

[Mantus]

C’mon now Meier_Link.

The best any one can do here is take a blind guess. Talk to her. Work something out. Be understanding.

How long has this been happening? Has there been any major changes in her life? A new job, preparing for school, family problems or anything like that?

[Johnny Rotten]

Trust your instincts and insist upon discussing what's going on. It's not like you're a beggar asking for change.

[Meier_Link]

Ok, I jumped to conclusions a little... While I don't think that she was doing anything untoward, it does seem like I'm not being treated the way I used to be. That, however, is another issue. I took the advice just to calm down and talk it out, then had sex (probably the reason for my irritation was that I didn't get any all week).

Thanks for the replies.

[doncalypso]

Originally Posted by Meier_Link

Ok, I jumped to conclusions a little... While I don't think that she was doing anything untoward, it does seem like I'm not being treated the way I used to be. That, however, is another issue. I took the advice just to calm down and talk it out, then had sex (probably the reason for my irritation was that I didn't get any all week).

Thanks for the replies.

I knew irritability was one of the symptoms of lackofbootyitis, but I didn't know it made people paranoid too...

[Delirious]

Maybe she let you bone her to shut you up? =) j/k