My wandering eye..
 

I have a girlfriend but I can't help but look at other women. I do it constantly everywhere I go even when I'm around her. Is this bad?

Only if you're obnoxious about it.
Women do it too, they are just more subtle & quick about it.

Just don't disrespect her,
you know what I'm sayin'?

I agree with Rogue's advice. My wife knows that I like to admire the scenery and as long as I am subtle about it and don't make comments about breast size or compare her to them then it's ok.

It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home.

I think this is also something that you should talk about. I know a lot of folks who are in relationships where no one is allowed to even think about what anyone else looks like.

You like your S/O for more than what she looks like. You and she, while I am sure you are both attractive, are not the hottest people on planet earth. It should be okay to look around and even sometimes speak about it. If not, pressure can build up that can lead to unhealthy results later.

i got to a point with my ex where we were both checking girls out. just make sure she knows your just looking and shes the only one for you.

not if she doesnt catch you

eeh.. the wife knows that there are pretty people in the world and they need to be looked at. We both comment on them every so often. She even give me thong alerts... :) god I love my wife.

My gf knows I am always looking at other girls. She is pretty cool about it. As long as I just look at them..nothing else.

well, you have to do what I did- find a girl that likes girls as much as you do, but likes you much, much more. lol... this way you get alerts on hot girls and can point them out to her.

But in your case, I agree with what a few have already said. Have a talk about it. Be sincere and firm on the fact that while looking is COMPLETELY natural, you're not shopping, you're just seeing what everyone else is after while you've already found yours.

I don't know if anyone else's mom said this to them, but when i was in a store and touched something or picked something up and i'd say, "but i'm looking at it", she'd say something that is perfectly fitting here- "We look with our eyes, not with our hands."

Also, make sure if you're caught that you don't defend your actions. Defending yourself makes it appear you are guilty of something and trying to weasel out. Just admit you were looking, but that it doesn't matter because you've already got what you could ever want.

I don't think it is bad unless she starts to wonder whether your wandering eye means you have wandering penis too.

Just don't make it too obvious (like long stares).
She may feel insulted.

Of course we do it too, and yes you are correct we are just more subtle! :D It's human nature to check out someone of the opposite sex if you find them physically attractive...hell I think I'd wonder a little if I was with a guy who didn't do it! I feel, as so many others have expressed here, that as long as you aren't being rude (ie making comments along the lines of "Man, I'd love to do her") it's no big deal really....as long as you aren't hurting the other person. Some people (guys or girls - doesn't matter) would eventually start to feel inadequate I think if it was a constant act though. Just because you are admiring someone doesn't mean you don't love the person you are with......it means you still have a pulse!

Everybody looks! I am sure she is looking too.

This is more simple than everyone thinks.

If she has a problem with it, it's bad.

Your relationship is unique, and I don't think I can give you situational advice.

If she has a problem, you have a problem.

If you love someone enough, their hurt will become intolerable.

Only open and honest communication will decide if this is "bad" or not.

Try some, and let us know how it went.

its all about intent in my eyes......there's nothing wrong with looking, but desire to expand is a potential problem

looking is fine...as long as its just looking...
she seems to spot the pretty ones even faster than me... lol...

Just because you can't order, doesn't mean you can't look at the menu.

My wife will point out women she thinks look good. Unfourtunatly she has terrible taste in women. :D I think it kind of depends on the person you are with and the kind of relation you share.

I can't say that I don't look at other girls and some guys. My boyfriend and I both at times do it, though I think I vocalize it more. :) When I see a girl with a nice body, I look... who wouldn't? Or a guy that's well built? I don't plan on jumping outta my car and dry humping their legs just because they're walking across the street at a red light.... I love my boyfriend very much, I would never cheat on him or leave him.
It's kinda like porn, but living... just because we watch it and like it.. doesn't mean we're going to go sign up with Ron Jeremy to be in a porn flick.
I don't see anything wrong with looking, I liked the above reference.. "We look with our eyes, not our hands".. and that's perfect. I know where my love is, and that is what's important.. I'm not going to ruin that just because of eyecandy. My boyfriend and what he gives me are the most precious gifts in my life and I wouldn't lose that for the world.

Enough said. :)

You could always try to make a joke of it like I do with my girlfriend, say for example we are driving along and I see a women I just cannot help looking at I will say something stupid like "Wow, this girl has no shame, walking along in just those shorts and a bikini top. Really, nobody has any standards anymore these days!" Generally act all morally outraged.

Oh course, my girlfriend knows EXACTLY what I am up to, but she just laughs about it because my stupid comments diffuse the situation....

And remember, as my friend Bryant put it so eloquently yesterday when talking about getting old, "If you don't look, you must already be dead" ;)

only if she makes a point about it, which you can pretty well expect she will..............................

If your g/f thinks that being in a relationship means that you won't think other girls are nice to look at, SHE has the problem. That doesn't mean you should be gawking and salivating and otherwise making her geel like she's not there, but all men look.

Pretending that other members of the opposite sex don't exist is a really good way to prepare yourself psychologically for cheating. In other words, you can only walk past so many hot women and pretend they don't exist before you end up wandering after one.

It's really important to remember that APPRECIATION for beauty doesn't necessarily mean LUST for beauty.... you'd have to be dead to lose the first one, but the second one should only be directed at your SO.

Ditto, Mango. Or to put it another way, how can you appreciate caviar if you never look at hamburger.

I second everything everyone's said, with this one addition: there's NOTHING like checking out hot girls along with your own hot girl.

Exactly what my wife says.

The way I see it: you can look, but you can't touch.

i understand your predicament.
my wife is the best looking woman in both hemispheres.
your must (at best) be second best looking, that's why you look at these other female humans so much.


quit staring at my wife.

Bah, it's perfectly alright. Don't listen to hypocrites like this.

Your taken, but you sure as hell aren't blind.

Looking is ok, staring isn't polite, but as long as your SO doesn't have to roll up your tongue and stick it back in, mop drool off the floor, turn your head away for you, and get your hand out of your pants, you're not going way too far.

I'm definately one to check out the scenery. The radar is always on

Of course, I turn it down quite a bit when the woman is with me, and I never comment about anything when she's around. But when she's not there, I can give my 200% effort.

It is difficult to go to the local water park with the woman though, because the eyes wander a lot more than they should. And once the eyes have a good target, it's not so easy to take them off. Hehe

I check out chicks all the time whether im with my girl or not, but with my mates I go a bit further and say damn id love to fuck tight lil ass.

I believe this has already been addressed in a Mello Yello commericial. Just stay mello.

Although, in seriousness, it's fine to look, and I'd heed the advice to talk to your girl about it.

i have a serious problem with looking as well - I try not to do it when my wife is around, because she does not like it at all.

My father once told me: Just because I married your mother doesn't mean all the other women in the world turned ugly.

You're a male, plain and simple. That's the way you are. The question is how much do you want to alter your behavior to accomidate your significant other.

I've had all different kinds. I married a woman who enjoys looking at women with me... I'm pretty lucky like that I suppose.

To answer your question, no. It's not bad to me but it's all relative my friend.

My friend said it best to me...

Just cause I know what I'm having for dinner, don't mean I can't look at the menu.

THAT SAID, try to be subtle about it.

Don't OBVIOUSLY disrespect the woman. (The one you're dating OR the one you're oggling.)

You have to be realistic.

After we were engaged, hubby and I made a deal that we wouldn't screw anyone else until after we were married. It helped with the insecurities. Even then, he was free to look and fantasize and share it with me.

I was (am) realistic enough to figure that he would want other women. I can't possibly be everything he is ever going to want for the next 70 years.

angela - another good post from you, is nice to see another female who thinks similar to me in some respects :)

i do my best to be realistic regarding my bf and his 'innate' (?) 'eye for attractiveness' (btw, i'm not saying it's a male thing, i too have much of an appreciation for aesthetics)

...and stories and fantasies are def. a fun and welcome part of our sex life...

and at some point i would like to fufill some of our fantasies...but i've oft thought of waiting until marriage for the additional 'security'.

guys are wired to look, it's not like we can help it...the goal is to not be too obvious about it