Strange Famous

But now I am nervous to call her! Maybe I will send her a text message, I don't know.. it's pretty cool though and she is kind of hot, plus she works in a liquer store, so thats a bonus.

Anyway, um, the point of me posting a thread - were is a good place for maybe a first date? I was thinking we could have something to eat, or maybe go to a movie? I dont want to just go to a bar cos I will probably only get drunk and act a fool. if it is a movie we cannot talk too much, I dont know, maybe to go to a restaurant will be best?

Does anyone have any idea's what is a good first date?

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

ultra_agent9

That's always a PLUS.

No, seriously, congrats on getting her digits. You're very excited now and wondering what the hell to do without blowing it. So, I would listen to what everyone else here has to say and then make your move. I want to emphasize: slow down cowboy! Sounds like a girl you're real keen on, so just give it a couple of days and then when you're ready- make that awesome move.

Ok, so booze is good for the confidence but it might turn you into the court jester (a drunken court jester). Take her somewhere for a quick bite to eat (you can learn so much about someone at the dinner table) and then take her somewhere like an amusement park. It doesn't matter how shitty the place is, you'll be able to wander around and chat while talking about what crappy rides to go on. Ferris wheel is always cool. Is there a ghost house? How old are you for chrissakes?

But I don't know where you are and what is available. Don't do something that you do with your mates, do something that you'd think she'd like or something you've always wanted to do. Chicks like to be surprised, I'm not talking about a bunch of flowers or a fancy restaurant, I'm talking about taking her somewhere she would least expect with a guy like you. Eg, If you're a geek, take her to a smash 'em up derby, or to a wrestling match. It doesn't matter if you don't know anything about it- just say your friend recommended it to you.

Are you a cool looking athlete type? Shit, I don't know, take her to an exhibition at a museum or walk through an aquarium or even go to an observatory. Man, It's hard coming up with ideas when you've been drinking wine all night. I'll get back to you.

Good luck!

__________________
Champaigne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends.

primal

I think miniture golf, bowling, or an amusement park would be good places to start. You get lots of one on one interaction. I've never understood the movie date because you can't even talk. You could just meet her for coffee and try to decide from there.

__________________
"Where the white women at?"
-Sheriff Bart (Blazing Saddles)

Strange Famous

I mean, I am a little excited, but its not like I have any expectations, other than she wouldnt have given me her number if she at least didnt want to talk to me again. I dont know if she would want to go on a date anyway, but if she gave me her number there has to be a fairly good chance she would - because normally, I just tend to hang out with girls and somehow clumsily stumble into relationships, Ive never dated anyone before I didnt know as a friend before I dated them,,, I have only ever really had two real girlfriends, so I am not so experienced.

I guess, I know how you mean about the movie, I feel the same way too that it is stupid to go on a date when you cannot talk, I guess maybe a movie is very non threatening... crazy golf or bowling could be good ideas, or maybe just I will try to engineer an accidental meeting somewhere (like "are you going to this thing/ oh yeah, me and my friends were going to that/ah, so was I, I will see you there maybe...?)

But then again that might sound kind of lame, the thing is I am not normally that confident, so I think I need to not act as self depreciating as I normally do, but I dont want to go too far the other way and come across as arrogant!

I mean, she was mad flirting with me when we spoke, at least I think she was... but she might just be that way... I was going to wait one day and call her tomorrow. I mean, is that ok? And maybe if we had a good conversation see if she wanted to meet next week.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

ultra_agent9

DON'T CALL HER TOMORROW! What a you desperate? Wait a few days and then giver her a buzz. Say," I'm going to go and see this band called (whatever- make it up) and they wear boy scout outfits and then they rub Jello over themselves blah blah blah. When she meets you say the show got cancelled but you thought about taking her to (somewhere different) instead.

Keep her on her toes, the sooner she can work you out the sooner she will catergorize you. Best if you can come up with something unusual but fun.

This wine is a very tasty wine btw...

__________________
Champaigne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends.

timalkin

How'd you manage to score the number? I'm sure we'd all like to hear the story, if there is one.

Strange Famous

um, well, not much of a story

I went to the store to get some beers, and there was a new girl working there, and she was really friendly from when I first walked in. I got a four pack of beers, and she rung them though, and then she told me if I bought a slightly smaller size of the sam brand they were on special and I could get them a lot cheaper.

so I got the other brand, and she credited the first purchase and then rung it through again, and I was just like "hey, thanks for telling me, that was really nice of you"
she said "oh, well, you want to get value for money"
and I just smiled, and then she was like
"um, not that I'm trying to get you drunk or anything"
and I just laughed and was like "ah, thats cool"
And since I go to that store I a lot and I hadnt seen her there before I asked her if she was just started, and she was like "yeah, I just started today" and I just said cool and then I couldnt think of anything else to say, and then she asked me if I was going to a party or something, and I was like "nah, just trying to unstress, you know". Then I asked her if she knew any good parties, or something really stupid, and she said "oh, I dont get off till 10",and I just said ach, that sucks, and she was like "I know, well, if you hear of any good parties you let me know"

And then some other kid came in the shop, and I thought, well you know there is another store that sells booze like 400 yards away so if I humiliate myself it wont be that bad!, so I was like "you let me get you number" and she said sure and gave me her cell phone number, and I said, I'll give you a call if I find any cool parties, and she sort of giggled and then she had to serve the other kid.

Anyway, I mean, like I said, I am not thinking its a great romance or anything, but she must have been open to the idea of getting to know me at least, unless she gave me a fake no!, so its all good.

And seriously, I shouldnt call her tomorrow? If I dont call her for like a few days she might think Im an ass, I dont want to play games and shit, but if I call her tomorrow just to ask whats up and like chat will I really appear desperate???

ach, btw, I cant believe this is the way I talk "she said, and I was like, and she was like, and I was all like" bah!!! I'm so inarticulate!!

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

bodymassage3

You're never too old for an amusement park. That gets my vote. Not only will you both be able to have a good time, together, but you can talk pretty much the entire time.

wonderwench

If you really want to go out with her, don't play games - just call her and set something up. How about asking her what she would enjoy doing?

Seaver

Agreed, dont play games, but never call the day after.

Wait couple days, take her bowling/put-put/shoot some pool. Keep it light, active, and keep the conversation going.

Girls hate the dinner/movie date until later in the relationship, and lets face it, how often are girls taken to miniature golf for a first date? They love talking about it to their friends trust me.

ibis

Exactly what I was thinking.


Yeah, let's start a relationship lieing.

Don't start playing mind games with her like others will tell you. Be yourself, have fun.

Temporary_User

Well, I would have called her that nite a little after she got off, told her that there wasnt too many parties going on but she should come over and hang out and party with you
I give this as advice on what I would do so um.... dont take it
It seems to me like she is interested in you, but after what you posted a group event would work out best for you to get to know her and then show interest in her and ask her out maybe at the end of the event or on a later phone call...
If you know of a party, concert, (bar i know...)
that or go w/ the no party... want to go.... w/ me
again I'll copy and paste my previous sentence
I give this as advice on what I would do so um.... dont take it

maleficent

Ipswich, England claims to be the home of some mighty fine parks. PLus the website offers lots of things of interest in Ipswich
Things to do in Ipswich


Afternoon date (no pressure there) Picnic in the park, kite flying, horseshoes, bocci, whatever you can play out of doors, when darkness falls, if the date is going nowhere, then you say, Hey it's been great but I'm meeting some friends later, if the date is going great, you say - hey can we continue this.

First dates, you generally want an end point -- both parties need a polite out if the date is going badly, and the opportunity to continue if it's going well.

Meet for coffee, and have a chat.

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Redgirl

Hey! Way to go Strange! I'm proud of you for just balls out asking for her number. And look how it turned out! I hope you have called her by now and decided to at least meet for a chat somewhere. Good luck!

Oh and a little deprecating humor is OK, but you're right- don't go overboard. No more than 3 negative things said about yourself the whole date!! I mean it!! Just try to talk about her a lot, that should keep you safe.

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Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

ShaniFaye

What is it with you guys saying dont call her the next day? If I went to the trouble of giving a guy my number I would really be insulted if he waited "a few days" to call. Having an "idea" of what to do is a good thing...but I like it better when I'm ASKED what I want to do...If I am in one of those moods where anything would be fun and I honestly dont know what I want then its nice to know that the guy had a "plan"


ummm we do? Thats a new one on me

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Seaver

Every single girl I've ever asked said so. They prefer more origional first-date locations, as well as a place where you can actually talk, rather than stare at a screen.

ShaniFaye

Gee guess it must just be me then, but I've never had a problem with movie and dinner as a first date, especially if done in that order.

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

braindamage351

Call her whenever you feel like it. Girls tend to like guys that act like men (without being an ass about it). So if you just cut the bullshit and call things should go well.

ultra_agent9

I was pissed and rambling on. I was not talking about lying about something that concerns him or the girl. It was a silly idea now that I look at it, I was just trying to be creative.

Lying and mind games are never a good way to start a relationship.

__________________
Champaigne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends.

wraith41

Ok not to knock you, but for the most part, chicks label the guy who calls the next day "needy or desperate." I'm guessing you don't, but his best bet is to wait.

Also, Strange, congrats. You played it well. Personally, I'd lean towards bowling or minature golf or a carnival, like a few have mentioned. Fun times to be had at any of those places. Just have an idea what you want to do. For the most part I've found "I dunno, what do you want to do?" is weak at best. Having a plan looks good and shows confidence.

Brilliant!

ShaniFaye

Ok so you're saying that if a girl gives you a phone number, which she would do because she thinks she's interested enuff in you to have you come round that if you call she's going to think she's desperate? Sorry guys, I cant wrap my mind around that kind of thinking. You honestly believe that if a girl gives you a phone number there is a time limit on WHEN you call her?

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

MSD

Every day you wait to call her is another day when customers will be hitting on her and trying to get her number. Call back, tell her you had some free time, so you figured it would be a good time to call and say hi. Don't worry about waiting a few days, as long as you don't act desparate, calling back soon won't make you look desparate. Ask her when she's free, and have a few ideas of things you could do at various times during the day and evening. Come up with ideas that give you time to talk and time to do stuff together.

Another piece of advice: based on what I see of you on TFP, you tend to be happier and more confident when you stop drinking for a while. If you do start something with her, don't take advantage of the fact that she works at a liquor store; it may be a good idea to not drink at all until you get to know each other better, espicially considering that you're concerned that you'll "only get drunk and act like a fool" if you go somewhere with alcohol. Bars aren't good for the first few dates anyway, since they're noisy, smokey (not sure it England has a smoking ban yet,) and have too many people close together for you to concentrate on each other.

Whatever happens, good luck.

Bill O'Rights

GET OUT!!!!

*BOR high fives the Strange one*

Call her, man! 1st date...make it an afternoon in public. Nothing threatening. And most important...stay outta the damn bottle. I don't know about in real life, but in here you're much more affable when you're dry. Therefore I'm going to assume the same about real life.

__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

wraith41

Thats fine, and its her right to give her number out to a million guys if she chooses to. Im sticking to my guns here. Girls can give out their number for a variety of reasons. How many guys have gone out on a date <i>everytime</i> they got a number? I'm willing to bet 0. All the girls I know, if a guy called the next day, she would talk to him the next day and never again Unless he was Brad Pitt...

Whatever you choose, Strange, good luck

wonderwench

Speaking as a former single gal, I always thought it was nice when a guy called the next day. It shows sincerity - which is refreshing.

timalkin

I recommend calling her whenever the fuck you feel like it. If you feel like calling her the next day (why wouldn't you) then just do it. If she's the kind of girl that doesn't like the next day call, fuck it. There are plenty of girls out there who aren't so neurotic.

analog

miniature golf is quite possibly the BEST first-date location. You talk, it's fun, you can learn a LOT about a person by how they act in an environment where they COULD be competitive, but totally don't have to be... it's pretty cheap, so it won't break you, and it's in a pretty pucblic place, so girls are more apt to be at ease if they hardly know you already.

EDIT: Plus you can feel out how cool she is by making random jokes involving no less than, "ball", "shaft", "hole" and "par 3".

Peetster

Call her right now.

Tell her that you have been thinking about her.

Miniature Golf is an awesome idea. Bowling is another good first date.

My favorite is the Zoo. Lots to talk about there, even if it's just pointing and laughing at the monkeys.

Call her. Right now.

Rush

Good on ya Strange Famous. Best of luck if you really like her.

I agree with most here. Be yourself, don't lie and play games

I met a girl in a bar the other night. Me and a mate sat down at there table and we all just started chatting (god bless alcohol)
My mate was chatting her up, telling her he was in a band and all this shit, whilst i was talking to her friend. Her friend went to get a drink and shortly after so did my mate. She then turned to me for conversation, something that in all honesty i'm not all that good at

I just acted the fool I am, cracking jokes and taking the piss out of stuff. Just being me, and we really hit it off. Started talking about crap music we own and rather than selling ourselves to each other (as chat ups usually go) we just talked about who we really were and stuff. I even told her about another girl I liked but nothing was happening with. I saw her as a new mate, not a pull, that never crossed my mind, despite somehow during the conversation we ended up holding hands and sitting closer. After all the chatting she looks up and says 'say would you like to go for a drink sometime?'

I was like 'what? are you asking me out?', she smiled and said 'yes'

I just said i'd love to and she took my number.
Was quite proud of myself for not acting an arse and it felt good to just be me and have someone respond well to it. After all, there's hardly any point in someone liking you for something you're not is there?

Now just see if she calls eh?

Strange Famous

i dont drive (I have a license, but no car) so that rules out things like that, because there are none of them near town centre where I live, unless I ask her for a lift to our first date!!! Erm... that might seem a little weak though.

I am definitely going to call her today, I mean, I guess that the people saying it seems desperate and you have to play the game and so on might have a point to some degree, but playing those games just isnt me, I dont want to do it, and I dont really want to be in a relationship like that - I'd rather just be me and be upfront.

I think crazy golf would be cool, but the nearest one to me is like 8 miles, and I cant get us both there! There is a bowling rink, but its a little out of town, but its mad near to where I work, and you can get a bus, so I might do that and then we can get a bus right into town to get something to eat, or else she can just go home if she doesnt like me.

I mean, I guess getting a bus does seem a bit lame, but I dont have a car, so, well, it's just going to look lame anyway at some time!

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

Rush

Ooh no transportation shoots many possible plans in the foot really

How about a simple drink at a nice bar? Somewhere with a TV, pool table etc..
Intimate, yet stuff to do and able to talk throughout. If you hit it off then it's easier to plan something more elaborate for next time, spend more coin and be more comfortable together

Strange Famous

OK, we are going to play pool at this place in town on Thursday. We talked for like 40 minutes, although she was mostly saying how much she hated her job and that. But it was kind of cool, when the conversation stopped it as like we were both trying to find something else so as to keep talking.

She is like the assistant manager of another store, but she had to go to the liquer store near me cos there were staff shortages there (its the same chain) but she still lives pretty near me, she lives with two of her girlfriends too, which is good, I mean better than that she lived with her parents! She acts likes she likes me, so so far its still all good, I mean, don't ever think I am being cocky cos I have a full awareness of the fact it probably isnt going to work out somehow, but I'm just trying to be positive and have some fun, and she seems to like me and I like her, so... its good! And well, you never know... its not like I have any big expectations at this stage, neither of us really knows the other, but you never know, huh? I mean, i am more likely to find the girl for me by dating than I am by sitting around on my own and being depressing, right?


Note to self - stop talking like a gangster rapper, you are a middle class Jewish trainee accountant so it just sounds stupid!

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

wonderwench

Yay! I'm glad you asked her out. I hope you have a fabulous time!

Averett

Yay!! I'm really happy for you Good luck with the date!

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

Raleighbum

Happy for you and Thumbs up!!

(and ONLY Thumbs up at this stage...)

oberon

Good job, SF! You're an inspiration.

__________________
"There are finer fish in the sea than have ever been caught." -- Irish proverb

mrbroker00

You are so money it's ridiculous. Just remember don't talk about puppy dogs and ice cream.

primal

Sounds promising. See how easy it was to get a date. No matter how this turns out you should try to remember how good you feel about yourself right now. Remembering that feeling will help your confidence when you want to ask out girls in the future. Also, don't try too hard on the date. On the first date you're really not trying to impress her, your trying to see if you can have fun together. So just enjoy yourself.

__________________
"Where the white women at?"
-Sheriff Bart (Blazing Saddles)

maleficent

Just relax and enjoy yourself.

You'll be out in public, you 'll find plenty to talk about, and don't worry or get all uptight if there are gaps in the conversation, that's normal.

Don't get down on yourself, she's going out with you, stand up straight, smile, and be confident.

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toxic515

man, congrats! And good job on not starting head games. Go have a good time. There's nothing in the world wrong with using public transportation to get where you're going, or a taxi if you want. It's neat to hear about someone else meeting someone interesting. I hope that it's entertaining at least.

__________________
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies
like a banana.