Skettios

Not at all man, that's exactly what this thread is here for.

This whole nice guys finish last thing is bullshit, it needs to change. I for one spent several months being an asshole and that didn't really work either. I just don't understand the difference.

I'm sorry your relationship went sour. Good luck in the future, from those who know where you're coming from.

__________________
Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.

Frederich Nietzsche

ntf

Nobody has posted a link to www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html yet???

Skettios

Everyone has read ladder theory. Everyone.

While there is truth in it, it's not necessarily always true.

I'd prefer not to discuss it here because it has been beat to death in other threads.

__________________
Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.

Frederich Nietzsche

BooRadley

Yeah, it is a "generalization" and the author admits there are exceptions, but it still is 97% true. Read it sometime, instead of skimming through it and you would see that.

AfterBurn

well if you know that youre fat and insecure and you know thats whats making you suck with women then change it..the weight issue is easy if you commit to excersizing and stuff and the nsecurity thing is pretty easy too if you get the knowledge. if you really get commit to doing something itll happen for you

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smoking weed everyday keeps the doctor away

Skettios

You think that's fucking easy to change? You think I can just wave my wand and get skinny. It isn't. I take time in a post to admit my insecurities, so that other people will feel comfortable admitting theirs, and you kick me while I'm down. It's uncalled for.

I see you edited your post. It doesn't help. If you think things are so easy to change, or if what you wrote earlier is any kind of encouragement, you're just wrong.

__________________
Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.

Frederich Nietzsche

AfterBurn

well hey. i'm not making you change i'm just commending you for expressing your weaknesses and i was just saying that if you commit to something it'll happen. I didn't mean to put you down or anything.

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smoking weed everyday keeps the doctor away

Lebell

As someone who has been large all his life, I have found that personal confidence, compassion, spirituality, and a sense of humor go a long way towards getting the attention of women who are worth knowing.

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"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis

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Skettios

I've read it again and again. I've also read alt.fast.seduction... over and over again.

I don't like talking about ladder theory because it really makes me feel like there is no hope. I will always be an intellectual whore, because I'm lonely and expedient.

Using ladder theory has got me in a lot of trouble. Last year I was really close with this girl, in "love" with her, whatever. I realized she had me on the ladder theory and burnt my bridges with her. We argued about it for the next 2 months. She told me that she hadn't ruled me out, but had realized that dating me would be a big commitment, because she liked me so much. If I had given her more time, I think things might have worked out differently for us.

I guess the point is, ladder theory is okay, but it doesn't work for everyone.

__________________
Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.

Frederich Nietzsche

mistarv

I'm not one to give advice on girls since I'm currently in a pretty complicated (and shitty) situation in that respect, but as far as losing weight goes I'm convinced it's possible for anyone.

When I was 19 I was 6'1", 285 lbs, now I'm 23 and 190 lbs. It's possible to lose huge amounts of weight, even after being overweight for most of your life.

For me it was just a matter of deciding I couldn't keep living like I had been living and making getting in shape my #1 priority in life (even over school, work, and friends). I built up from where running 10 minutes would leave me winded and aching to where I could run a solid 45 minutes and feel refreshed. I kept track of exactly what I ate and rarely drank anything but water. Over a long time the weight slowly came off. It was just really fucking hard and painful (especially at first).

For me anyway, just knowing that I could drive myself to stick with something that difficult gave me a lot of self confidence, and helped me deal with social situations a lot better (and it didn't hurt when girls starting telling me I was hot for the first time in my life).

Ok, I know there was a point to this . I guess what I'm saying is that while confidence and personality go a long way, and I think it's definately possible to be overweight and happy, I think you shouldn't give up on getting in shape.

It's not just about being physically attractive to girls - it's about knowing you can do something that seemed impossible when you started.

Oh and on a side note I agree about ladder theory. I personally can't stand it (though I won't argue that it doesn't work). I tend to be far more attracted to girls that I like as friends than some random girl who hits on me at a bar.

rh128592

Have you seen The Tao of Steve? Before I saw the movie I came to a similar conclusion that if you honestly don't want women, you get them. Yeah, the idea is bullsh*t... somewhat. But it's also somewhat true.

Ever since I realized #1- I Don't want to date anymore and #2- I could care less if I get laid (sex with someone you don't care about is 1 step below jerking off in my book) I had women who wouldn't leave me alone.

Which is a problem (see #1).

Solution for you: Go for women pushing 30, single, without kids. I'm half joking but mostly serious.

jRuntlets

As a girl who had massive weight problems let me offer some perspective. I am 5'8", a few years ago I was a happy 125lbs... Then my world sort of came crashing down in a wretched depression and I gained a ton of weight, within a matter of 6 months or so I balloned to 175. Over time I decided that it wasn't where I wanted to be, and although I have regular ups and downs I'm basically a happy 135 (At 125 I had no boobs ). Through my struggles with weight I've found that you can't judge someone by their weight, but by who they are. I lost weight because it was becoming a major health issue, I needed to lose the weight to live a healthy life. If your weight is a health issue then take control of it so you can be around to have a few dates.

I've found that I enjoy a guy who isn't thin as a rail, who isn't nessicarily fit, and who may have 'pudge' that hangs over his belt. Why? It's not just a physical thing for me, I've realized most guys who are obsessed with looking fantastic are a. More high mantience than I am, b. self centered, and c. expect me to be someone I'm not.

If you are happy with who you are, mentally and physically, although you may not look like an underwear model (most of them are gross anyhow!), you will attract women. They may not flock to you in groups of 10,000. But all a person really needs is ONE other person. It may take awhile, and a few hits and misses, but if you love yourself someone else will want to love you too.

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Horses come and go, but some leave permanent hoof prints on your life.

xepherys

Sket-

Man, all I can say is don't get down. It sounds typical, but just being yourself is the way to go. Maybe it'll take you a while to find that special someone, but when you find her, you'll know she really wants to be with YOU, regardless of weight or height or shape or eye color or any other silly physical attribute.

Don't get down, man... it'll all work out... it really truly usually does!

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