Chiuey

I recently came to terms with the fact that I may have romantic feeling for a good friends of mine. I've often put it off thinking she doesn't feel the same way, but as of lately I've been really confused. The circumstances are unique and I would like some advice on how I should approach the situation.
Here's the background on Em and I:
We met in my senior yr at college through a mutual friend (in IN). Her BF at the time had just broken up with her, and a group of friends went out to the bars to cheer her up. She got extremely drunk and had to be taken home by me and the mutual friend of ours. At first I thought she was a little crazy and as I got to know her we became friends really quickly. A week after Em's fiasco, my GF of seven yrs (long distance relationship) decides to tell me she has been seeing someone else and wants to break up. Heart broken, the relationship ended. A week later Em and I decide to go on spring break together to visit some family friends of mine in NC. we had a great time, but there were no romantic sparks from what I could remember. At that point in time, all my friends thought that we should date, but I did not see the point as I saw it as nothing more than a friendship, besides the fact that I am still getting over my Ex.
This went on for a few months until later that summer, after we graduated, Em moved home to start her job, and I moved to NC to take on an internship and get away from the world. By that point in time our circle of friends had merged and we had also managed to hook up one of her high school friends (Amy), with my roomate in college (Brandon). Em and I spoke on the phone every night that summer, and we became extremely good friends. She became my best friend. At the end of the summer, she came and visited me for a weekend. That weekend, I took Em around the area and we just hung out. It felt really good to see her but I felt a little bit of tension between us. That was when I first started to look at Em in a different light, and that's when I thought I began to see signs of feelings that extend beyound our friendship. One night, while we were out partying with some friends of mine, Em flirted with a guy we met and they seemed to hit it off, but seeing as he lived just as far away from Em as I did, their "thing" never matured. I was dejected said nothing. In Em's defense, I had asked along a girl I had met through work to join us for drinks that night, and prehaps that was the reasoning for Em to do as she did. As the months went by in the fall, our friendship took a dip, and we spoke less. From that point on, I began to sense a feeling of resentment from Em, it seemed liek when ever we spoke on the phone she began to tell me about guys she had met, and I in return would talk about ladies I had met. All this drama got to a point when I stopped calling her as often as we did, and we began to speak less and less to each other.
I did however see Em again around halloween, when I went back to IN to visit all our friends. She seemed really glad to see me as I was to her. We had a great weekend catching up, and it seemed that our phone conversation were becoming more regular. Unfortunately that didn't last very long. Before Christmas rolled around we were back to the stages of speaking on weekends for a few minutes.
About a month ago, I decided that I was leaving NC, and moving overseas to live with my parents and work for my dad. I had postponed my departure for Brandon and Amy's wedding this past weekend, Em and I were both in the wedding party. By this point I had not met anyone else and came to terms with my feeling with Em, but I felt it was too late tot do anything about it. However before I left NC, a friend told me that I should not let the feeling go unheard, and at first I denied anything and everything as I had not told people about how I felt towards Em.
I was somehow convinced that I didn't want to leave knowing that Em could have been that one that got away, and I told a few close friends of ours about my intentions to speak to her after the wedding. To my surprise, the reaction I got was, "It's about time!"
On the day of the wedding, everything was beautiful. Brandon and Amy could not have had a better day to get married. At the reception before I had to chance to talk to Em, she was flirting with one of Brandon's cousins, and I responded bychatting up a family friend of Amy's. As immature as my actions were, I didn't know what else I could have done. At that point I felt really alone, but after the reception was over a group of us went out and celebrated. To my surprise, Em and Brandon's cousin didn't hit it off like I thought they would, and I didn't resume chatting up Amy's family friend.
When I left to go visit my Alma Mater, and my brother who is still here, I left as I had came, not knowing if that was it. Em and I got into a fight over the phone this week, and I haven't spoken to her in many days. I want to call her back and tell her how sorry I am, and just spill the beans, but I can't seem to bring myself to it. Maybe I'm just ranting or maybe I need a few workd of encouragement, but I was hoping someone could tell if this story is simple a fabrication of my mind, if I'm thinking too much into it, or what ever it may be. I leave in a few weeks to go overseas, I know once I leave, it will be a while before I see Em again. Is it really better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? Should I just go ahead and tell Em how I feel or just let it go?

Please Help!

Shades

I actually skimmed through the middle.

Dude, there's a reason your friends suggested it was about time. It's because it's about damn time. Don't call her. Go there, now. Stop reading this post, don't wait for more responses, go now.

Chiuey

Um She lives a few hours away.....

hannukah harry

so get in the car and drive... there could be a reason that they're telling you to tell her... like maybe they know something... <hint hint>

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shabbat shalom, mother fucker! - the hebrew hammer

Averett

Call her. Don't live your life regretting what could have been. You'll never know if you don't say something. Believe me, it will be a relief to at least say it out loud. Maybe she feels the same way, maybe she doesn't. You'll never know if you dont' find out.

Good luck.

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

absorbentishe

If you don't do it now, you will regret it for the rest of your life, so talk to her. If by chance she doesn's feel the same, then so be it, but if she does, then you've found out. But if you don't talk to her you'll never know...

ratbastid

When you die, on your deathbed, it's not the things you've done that haunt you. It's the things you never had the courage to do.

There are beans to be spilt here. Spill 'em.

Redgirl

OK- report. You have had plenty of time to call her. What happened??? I'm sure you did it, since everyone said you should! Right? Is this thing on? Heeeeellllooooooo...?

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Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Devilfish

I agree. Dude, just go. Life is too short for regrets.

SiNai

Amen- I hope you're on the phone right now.

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I can't seem to remember now
What it was like- to live life, before you.. symbiont

fallenangel

Tell her, so many problems couples or potential couples have is related around bad communication. Lay it all out, and go from there. If things are to start with you, they should start off on the right and honest truth.

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all I wanna do is - give the best of me to you

pig

From experience, I've done this, and the girl said she wasn't interested...

I could have called her and gotten it out at about the same relative time that you're contemplatinig doing it now, but I waited another year or two down the road.

Don't wait. The worst that happens is she says she's not interested in you, or interested in this type of relationship. In that case, I almost guarrantee that she'll end up respecting you for saying it, and the tension can go away because it's out in the open.

Or, you might end up in a great relationship, or even a crappy relationship, but at least you'll know.

"Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are 'what could have been' "

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You don't love me, you just love my piggy style