Sure, I'll be right back, I have to go throw up! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

thespian86 · 04-25-2004, 09:26 AM

It's been a few months since I broke up with a girl who I loved more then the world and that says alot. But after a couple of months I hadn't talked to her and as of late my bestfriend has taken an intrest in my ex's bestfriend. Now I'm in a bind. My best friend who is also a member on this likes this girl alot... And they started hanging out with each other alot too.

My ex made a comeback and she does even seem to care that we broke up. Not only does this hurt but it makes me sick just being near her. She was really my first love and to her this never happened. It's bad.

As of late I have been with my friend and had to sit inches away from her and have her try to be friendly. But on the sixth of May we are all going to go out as a group and I'll have to stand there and have my bestfriend squeeze my shoulder as I feel like dying!

What am I to do? Should I try and stick it out? I think I should pull a dramtic scene froma film and tell her off so she knows how much she's hurting me. Any advice?

la petite moi · 04-25-2004, 09:58 AM

Sheesh, this is a tough situation. I think if your friend really was your friend, he wouldn't make you go- He'd make up an excuse for you.

However, if you wanna be tough (usually a WAY harder choice...I know, I get social anxiety sometimes), then you'll just have to suck it up. I think the best thing to do is not pull a dramatic scene or anything...just ignore her. Have a good time with your friend and his newfound 'crush' and whoever else is coming. It HAS to be hard, but it's the only thing that will keep you from totally going crazy, I'm guessing. Just be yourself in the company of others.

If she approaches you, be friendly and politely, but brief, before things get heated. I know that I was 'friends with benefits' with this one guy, and he tried to act chummy to me after kinda dumping me for some other girl...I just pretended he was a stranger that I had just met or something (I talked to him with a big smile, acted like I didn't have a grudge...blablabla). Then he left me alone. It will help you get over her, if anything, if you can do that.

Sorry I wrote so much. I just hope everything works out for you, and good luck!

sexymama · 04-25-2004, 10:46 AM

"Sorry, _________, I'm just not ready to hang out with my ex yet. I'll have to back out on the 6th plans. I'll miss you guys and truly hope you have a good time. Thanks for understanding."

Honesty is always best. If you aren't honest now, you'll be stuck in these uncomfortable situations over and over again. Only you can take care of you.

Beefimator · 04-25-2004, 11:36 AM

Look man, ultimately if your friend is your friend, the dude will understand if you aren't comfortable with the whole situation. He's you're boy. That's what you're boys are for. Support. Talk to him, tell him that it’s kind of a shitty situation, and its something that you don't think is an appropriate one. That's all you have to do.

If you do decide to hang out with the whole crew, I second what le petite moi said, and just be the bigger person. Don't hold grudges. They aren't healthy. Don't get personal. Just said "What up?" and that's all you need to say.

rajc · 04-25-2004, 11:51 AM

I agree with Beef. Girls will come and girls will go. Holding on to the past will hurt your dating life. ( i guarantee you that you hvae not been doing well in dating game b/c u are hurting your self thinking about her).
We have all been through it. I have been through it as well.
If i were you i would actually freaking go out and just chill with them. Dress nicely. Make your ex laugh, make her friends laugh. Sit back relax. Make an enviornment in which you can tell that your ex and her friend(s) notice that you are the freaking man. I am not saying that make your ex jealous. But you gonna have to make your self believe that she is not the one and you can find better. My first love cheated on me quite a bit of times and it used hurt but after reading Double your dating, tips from other dating web sites, (here is a good one: http://www.fastseduction.com/mailbag/?top), going out with the guys who knew what to do around girls and could pick them up and set a date or sleep with them in a hear beat i realized that I have such a potential to find me even better. Today i am dating a girl who everyone wants to be with she is 10/10, she is on a our college dance team ( 16 out of 60 made the team) and i am like 7.8/10. All you have to do is sit back, relax, enjoy your self, and most of all have a lot of freaking confidence. and most of all don t hurt your self thinking about her all the time you will screw your self over.

Tuffy_McGee · 04-25-2004, 12:21 PM

But your best friend isn't going after your ex-girlfriend, hes going after a freind of hers!

I don't see where the problem is. So everyone in her peer-group is off limits to your friends?

fallenangel · 04-25-2004, 01:07 PM

I'm with Tuffy, i'm a tad confused about this here... does your best friend want your ex, or your ex's best friend....?

thespian86 · 04-25-2004, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tuffy_McGee
But your best friend isn't going after your ex-girlfriend, hes going after a freind of hers!

I don't see where the problem is. So everyone in her peer-group is off limits to your friends?

Quote:

Originally posted by fallenangel
I'm with Tuffy, i'm a tad confused about this here... does your best friend want your ex, or your ex's best friend....?

It isn't that, it's that I hang out with him and we are like brothers. I do everything with him and since they started to like each other he has been hanging out with them (my ex's group of friends) and all of them are still friends with me (they don't really relise there is bad blood between my ex and I) but I still have to be around my ex.

This has nothing to do with my buddy, I just don't know what I'm going to do when he starts to get really serious with this girl and I have to hang out with my Ex again... I'm hurt, bad, and I was really bad for the past few months and now it's going away but... She's making a come back.

World's King · 04-25-2004, 02:10 PM

I understand.

Maybe you can use this time you will be spending with her to get things goin' again. Flirt a little. Maybe you two can get back together.

Lunchbox7 · 04-27-2004, 10:05 AM

I was in the same situation last soccer season. I had to be there because of my commitment to the team. But it fucked me up completely. Its really your call but I personally think you have to take care of yourself. Your mate will understand. If your going to be around this chick who ripps your heart out just by being near you then your going to be miserable and that is going to effect everyone elses mood which can effect your mates chances with his girl. Probably be best for everyone that you just dont hang with them when your ex around. Thats my call anyway.

pig · 04-27-2004, 10:20 AM

I'm a little confused as to how your best friend could not be aware that you might feel awkward in this position, but that's really neither here nor there. As has been said, it's ultimately your decision...but you might get something out of hanging out with your ex without being *with* her. Sometimes that's what it takes to get some closure. Just remember : she's really not *that* hot or funny. When one door is closed, another opens.

04-25-2004, 09:26 AM	#1 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	Sure, I'll be right back, I have to go throw up! It's been a few months since I broke up with a girl who I loved more then the world and that says alot. But after a couple of months I hadn't talked to her and as of late my bestfriend has taken an intrest in my ex's bestfriend. Now I'm in a bind. My best friend who is also a member on this likes this girl alot... And they started hanging out with each other alot too. My ex made a comeback and she does even seem to care that we broke up. Not only does this hurt but it makes me sick just being near her. She was really my first love and to her this never happened. It's bad. As of late I have been with my friend and had to sit inches away from her and have her try to be friendly. But on the sixth of May we are all going to go out as a group and I'll have to stand there and have my bestfriend squeeze my shoulder as I feel like dying! What am I to do? Should I try and stick it out? I think I should pull a dramtic scene froma film and tell her off so she knows how much she's hurting me. Any advice? __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.

04-25-2004, 10:46 AM	#3 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	"Sorry, _________, I'm just not ready to hang out with my ex yet. I'll have to back out on the 6th plans. I'll miss you guys and truly hope you have a good time. Thanks for understanding." Honesty is always best. If you aren't honest now, you'll be stuck in these uncomfortable situations over and over again. Only you can take care of you. __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

04-25-2004, 01:07 PM	#7 (permalink)
fallenangel soaring Location: near the water	I'm with Tuffy, i'm a tad confused about this here... does your best friend want your ex, or your ex's best friend....? __________________ all I wanna do is - give the best of me to you

04-25-2004, 02:10 PM	#9 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	I understand. Maybe you can use this time you will be spending with her to get things goin' again. Flirt a little. Maybe you two can get back together. __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

04-27-2004, 10:20 AM	#11 (permalink)
pig pigglet pigglet Location: Locash	I'm a little confused as to how your best friend could not be aware that you might feel awkward in this position, but that's really neither here nor there. As has been said, it's ultimately your decision...but you might get something out of hanging out with your ex without being with her. Sometimes that's what it takes to get some closure. Just remember : she's really not that hot or funny. When one door is closed, another opens. __________________ You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

04-25-2004, 09:58 AM	#2 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	Sheesh, this is a tough situation. I think if your friend really was your friend, he wouldn't make you go- He'd make up an excuse for you. However, if you wanna be tough (usually a WAY harder choice...I know, I get social anxiety sometimes), then you'll just have to suck it up. I think the best thing to do is not pull a dramatic scene or anything...just ignore her. Have a good time with your friend and his newfound 'crush' and whoever else is coming. It HAS to be hard, but it's the only thing that will keep you from totally going crazy, I'm guessing. Just be yourself in the company of others. If she approaches you, be friendly and politely, but brief, before things get heated. I know that I was 'friends with benefits' with this one guy, and he tried to act chummy to me after kinda dumping me for some other girl...I just pretended he was a stranger that I had just met or something (I talked to him with a big smile, acted like I didn't have a grudge...blablabla). Then he left me alone. It will help you get over her, if anything, if you can do that. Sorry I wrote so much. I just hope everything works out for you, and good luck!

04-25-2004, 11:36 AM	#4 (permalink)
Beefimator Tilted Location: Philly 'Burbs	Look man, ultimately if your friend is your friend, the dude will understand if you aren't comfortable with the whole situation. He's you're boy. That's what you're boys are for. Support. Talk to him, tell him that it’s kind of a shitty situation, and its something that you don't think is an appropriate one. That's all you have to do. If you do decide to hang out with the whole crew, I second what le petite moi said, and just be the bigger person. Don't hold grudges. They aren't healthy. Don't get personal. Just said "What up?" and that's all you need to say.

04-25-2004, 11:51 AM	#5 (permalink)
rajc Upright	I agree with Beef. Girls will come and girls will go. Holding on to the past will hurt your dating life. ( i guarantee you that you hvae not been doing well in dating game b/c u are hurting your self thinking about her). We have all been through it. I have been through it as well. If i were you i would actually freaking go out and just chill with them. Dress nicely. Make your ex laugh, make her friends laugh. Sit back relax. Make an enviornment in which you can tell that your ex and her friend(s) notice that you are the freaking man. I am not saying that make your ex jealous. But you gonna have to make your self believe that she is not the one and you can find better. My first love cheated on me quite a bit of times and it used hurt but after reading Double your dating, tips from other dating web sites, (here is a good one: http://www.fastseduction.com/mailbag/?top), going out with the guys who knew what to do around girls and could pick them up and set a date or sleep with them in a hear beat i realized that I have such a potential to find me even better. Today i am dating a girl who everyone wants to be with she is 10/10, she is on a our college dance team ( 16 out of 60 made the team) and i am like 7.8/10. All you have to do is sit back, relax, enjoy your self, and most of all have a lot of freaking confidence. and most of all don t hurt your self thinking about her all the time you will screw your self over.

04-25-2004, 12:21 PM	#6 (permalink)
Tuffy_McGee Crazy	But your best friend isn't going after your ex-girlfriend, hes going after a freind of hers! I don't see where the problem is. So everyone in her peer-group is off limits to your friends?

04-27-2004, 10:05 AM	#10 (permalink)
Lunchbox7 Addict	I was in the same situation last soccer season. I had to be there because of my commitment to the team. But it fucked me up completely. Its really your call but I personally think you have to take care of yourself. Your mate will understand. If your going to be around this chick who ripps your heart out just by being near you then your going to be miserable and that is going to effect everyone elses mood which can effect your mates chances with his girl. Probably be best for everyone that you just dont hang with them when your ex around. Thats my call anyway.