emphant

This girl I was doing off and on was really mad at me because she accused me of doing her best friend. I on the other hand, was more concerneed with getting some. We were sitting downstairs at my house, and my friend was over. That led to this exchange.

Me: Hey...look, I don't want to talk about this in front of other people. Let's go upstairs to my room so I can hear about your problems and why you are mad
Her: Er, no, we can talk about this here
Me: Nah, I don't want to make this public. It's not like I'm going to try anything, I just want to hear why you are mad and make you feel better about it
Her: Okay, fine, let's go.

You all know how it is. Once they are in the room, it's game, set, and match.

Biggest line I've had used on me is when a girl told me she couldn't take me home from a party cause her car was broken.

She gets me in the room...game set and match in her favor.

You win some you lose some I suppose.

Averett

Fun thread

Was visiting a friend and we were at his friends apartment for the night. The couch was taken by my friends roommate, and I had this little pullout sofa. My friend was going to sleep on the floor, so I pulled my line:

Me: Don't be silly, there's plenty of room on the pullout, and besides, you don't have a blanket - you'll freeze.
Him: Hey thanks!
Me: Besides, it's not like we're going to do anything with Tim sleeping right over there.
Him: True...

Game, set, match

Then again, a few hours later he used a line on me which worked... Game set match for him! That was a good night...

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

tim2shady

Aaggghhhh....what fun...

Don't remember how I got her in the bedroom, but I remember how the conversation went be4 she gave me head...

She said: Are you going to remember my name?
I said: Are you going to suck my dick?
She said: slurp, slurp

College chicks r 2 easy.

__________________
mean people suck.....period.

Ace_O_Spades

AHAHAHAHA

fell off my goddamn chair

that's awesome!

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Feh.

crony

Thats comedy gold right there

bermuDa

and did you remember her name? heh.

Never used a line, I let my actions speak for me

__________________
I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.

SabrinaFair

Good policy.
Actions speak louder than words...and are much more likely to end in orgasm. :-P

__________________
"With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."
-Desiderata

bparker805

Sitting in the hot tub

Me: Try this one over here. *postions girl between my legs on top of a jet*

Didn't even have time to call game, set and match.

fallenangel

"I brought my digital camera over, wanna see if it works?"

*Devious laughter*

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all I wanna do is - give the best of me to you

Xsas

It is definetely not game set and match when you get them into your room...*grumbles*.....

But one thing I've said thats worked is, "Hey, I've been wanted to tell you something for a while." And kissed. Well, I haven't done this yet, but I plan to soon. haha.

Other times I've hooked up there really was no conversation leading up to it, and I just went in for the kiss.

ratbastid

"I love you!"

Aaahh, High School. Good times!

nanofever

So wrong and yet so very, very true...

__________________
I'm leaving for the University of California: Santa Barbara in 5 hours, give me your best college advice - things I need, good ideas, bad ideas, nooky, ect.

Originally Posted by Norseman on another forum:
"Yeah, the problem with the world is the stupid people are all cocksure of themselves and the intellectuals are full of doubt."

Nancy

Ok this is not mine but it's so hilarious that I just had to share it with you guys.

I was at this huge party 6 years ago where I overheard my class mate Bjarke trying to pick up a hot little lady.

he (so incredibly drunk) takes her hand, looks her into the eyes and says: "You smell just like my grandmother!"

No he did not get the girl and boy do I wish I had a camera to snap the look on her face when he told her that!

__________________
I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy.
I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

DEI37

Now wait just a minute, Averett...you didn't tell us what worked on you! What did he ask?

__________________
Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

absorbentishe

Will you marry me? Well the rest is history from there.

Sparhawk

__________________
"In Iraq, no doubt about it, it's tough. It's hard work. It's incredibly hard. It's - and it's hard work. I understand how hard it is. I get the casualty reports every day. I see on the TV screens how hard it is. But it's necessary work. We're making progress. It is hard work."

Averett

You're right, I didn't say

If I tell it, all the boys will know what will work on me.. Can't let that out!

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

Seaver

Me? Usually I never use lines, thats what drives them crazy. I let them initiate everything.

Usually how it goes:

Me: (lay her in bed, and lay next to her not even touching)
Her: <Insert random comment here>
Me: <Insert random reply>
..pause..
Her: You're not like most guys are you?
Me: What do you mean?
Her: Well most guys would be trying to grope me at this point.
Me: <kiss> I'm sorry, I've been wanting to do that all night.
Her: <slurp>

game, set, match..

The thing is these are the most sexually conservative girls that this works on. They're so used to being groped and chased after they're caught completely off guard by someone who acts completely apathetic.

monkeysugar

"If I were just interested in getting laid, I'd go hook up with some random party ho. That's not why I'm with you. I'm with you because...(insert romantic stuff here)...not because I'm just out to get some. If you decide you want to have sex with me at some point, that's great. If not, that's not going to change how I feel about you."

__________________
I've got the love of my life and a job that I enjoy most of the time. Life is good.

Tuffy_McGee

Here's mine:

me: "I'm really drunk and need someone to help take care of me"

Her: "Oh my buddy needs help"

me: "help me into bed"

teph

Had this happen to me, and yes, it worked quite well.

clavus

Look, I know you are thinking that this is wrong. But I also know that you haven't been laid in a long time. We both know that I am younger better looking, and in better shape than your husband. But what you don't know is that I have a tongue like an electric eel on speed, and I can hold my breath for a loooooong time. C'mon, Grandma. Grandpa won't be back for hours. Why deny yourself this?

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Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

Paradise Lost

Me: Umm, Hi.
Female: *Walks away*

As you can see, I've been very unsuccessful.

__________________
"Marino could do it."

Schwan

Er. Drop the "Umm"?

Okay, okay, I'll leave...

skier

Want to go to Tim Hortons? I'll let you eat the bowl.

__________________
"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

madsenj37

The best line used on me follows: Im sitting in a chair, proofreading this hot girls paper.

Her: Why don't you sit on my bed? Its more comfortable. It's not like Im gonna rape you or anything.
Me: Alright.

__________________
"Only two things are certain: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not certain about the universe."
-- Albert Einstein

qtpye4u84

Hummmmm.......can I be your naughty naughty matress monkey.
Or Can I give you a back rub!?!? but for me its easy I'm a girl so I have an advantage lol.

__________________
The QTpie

jazz

My name may not be Wilma, but I can make your bed rock

__________________
"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." -Michael Dermott

TheBrit

Used a few on this girl who was my girlfriend at the time, we just used to seduce each other. As you can see, we did it in quite a jokey way:

Me: You have lovely legs *stroking thighs* what time do they open? *leaning over to start...*

Me: Hey, does this cloth smell of chloroform to you? *put cloth over her mouth, she pretends to slump over in my arms, I lay her down and we start mucking around*

Me: My magic watch tells me you aren't wearing any panties.
Her: Yeah, I am.
Me: Oh! Wait, it's 5 minutes fast.

The time after that
Me: My magic watch tells me you aren't wearing any panties.
Her: I'm not.
*guess*

And the final one...
Me: Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?

WarWagon

"I'm Rick James, bitch"

mirevolver

Best line used on me:
*I was leaving a bar*
Her: Do you need a ride? Because I can ride you all night long.

(I'm dating her now.)

__________________
Aside from my great plans to become the future dictator of the moon, I have little interest in political discussions.

ZenkiChica

i had this 15 year old tell me he was hung like a horse and would eat me out for 3 hours straight... needless to say it didn't work on me...
i don't have any funny lines, but one time i told this guy i just felt like crashing on his bed... he got the picture and i got to get me some ;-)

CheeseButtons

I remember just telling this girl that I wanted to kiss her... ^_^

__________________
Sorrow is better than laughter,
because a sad face is good for the heart. -Ecclesiastes 7:3

ruggerp11

honestly I know I can say things to make it work but I am usually so drunk I don't remember what I say. That has backfired on me though. Once I am drunk and I get them on my couch in my apt my average is pretty fucking good.

__________________
Patriotism means being loyal to your country all the time and to its government when it deserves it.
--Mark Twain
Do What makes you happy
--Me
BUT!
"Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness" - Chuang-Tzu

analog

Ah yes, a spinoff of the age-old Goth people pickup line:

"Nice boots, wanna fuck?"

lol

sevenoate

"hey... you gonna eat that?"

greyeyes

She was my ex of just a few days when I said this to her. She had just come over to my house to chill and I was about to go take my history exam:

Me: I know why you have been stressed out lately.
She: Oh, and why is that?
Me: You really need to get laid.

I did pretty well on that exam

__________________
I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.
- Zach Braff

lazlo

"honey, you make me want to get a job."

its funny because i probably wont get a job.

im just a girl

Him: (taking out guitar) want to hear some guster?
Me: only if you can play that while i'm on top of you

fhqwhgads

Back in college I was talking to a female friend of mine on the phone...we were both flirting back and forth and such. We were talking about crazy things we'd done, and she mentioned something about a friend who showed up at her boyfriend's door only wearing an overcoat...nothing underneath. I made a comment on how sexy I thought something like that was.

About 30 minutes after I hang up the phone, I hear a knock on my dorm room door....