Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > The Academy > Tilted Sexuality


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-23-2004, 09:34 AM   #1 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Meeshagain
Biggest line you've used to get in someone's pants

This girl I was doing off and on was really mad at me because she accused me of doing her best friend. I on the other hand, was more concerneed with getting some. We were sitting downstairs at my house, and my friend was over. That led to this exchange.

Me: Hey...look, I don't want to talk about this in front of other people. Let's go upstairs to my room so I can hear about your problems and why you are mad
Her: Er, no, we can talk about this here
Me: Nah, I don't want to make this public. It's not like I'm going to try anything, I just want to hear why you are mad and make you feel better about it
Her: Okay, fine, let's go.

You all know how it is. Once they are in the room, it's game, set, and match.

Biggest line I've had used on me is when a girl told me she couldn't take me home from a party cause her car was broken.

She gets me in the room...game set and match in her favor.

You win some you lose some I suppose.
emphant is offline  
Old 04-23-2004, 10:09 AM   #2 (permalink)
Is In Love
 
Averett's Avatar
 
Location: I'm workin' on it
Fun thread

Was visiting a friend and we were at his friends apartment for the night. The couch was taken by my friends roommate, and I had this little pullout sofa. My friend was going to sleep on the floor, so I pulled my line:

Me: Don't be silly, there's plenty of room on the pullout, and besides, you don't have a blanket - you'll freeze.
Him: Hey thanks!
Me: Besides, it's not like we're going to do anything with Tim sleeping right over there.
Him: True...

Game, set, match

Then again, a few hours later he used a line on me which worked... Game set match for him! That was a good night...
__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.
Averett is offline  
Old 04-23-2004, 11:20 AM   #3 (permalink)
Tilted
 
tim2shady's Avatar
 
Location: Chicago, IL
Aaggghhhh....what fun...

Don't remember how I got her in the bedroom, but I remember how the conversation went be4 she gave me head...

She said: Are you going to remember my name?
I said: Are you going to suck my dick?
She said: slurp, slurp

College chicks r 2 easy.
__________________
mean people suck.....period.
tim2shady is offline  
Old 04-23-2004, 12:59 PM   #4 (permalink)
The Death Card
 
Ace_O_Spades's Avatar
 
Location: EH!?!?
Quote:
Originally posted by tim2shady
She said: Are you going to remember my name?
I said: Are you going to suck my dick?
She said: slurp, slurp

AHAHAHAHA

fell off my goddamn chair

that's awesome!
__________________
Feh.
Ace_O_Spades is offline  
Old 04-23-2004, 02:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Clifton Park, NY
Quote:
Originally posted by tim2shady
Aaggghhhh....what fun...

Don't remember how I got her in the bedroom, but I remember how the conversation went be4 she gave me head...

She said: Are you going to remember my name?
I said: Are you going to suck my dick?
She said: slurp, slurp

College chicks r 2 easy.

Thats comedy gold right there
crony is offline  
Old 04-23-2004, 03:50 PM   #6 (permalink)
don't ignore this-->
 
bermuDa's Avatar
 
Location: CA
and did you remember her name? heh.

Never used a line, I let my actions speak for me
__________________
I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.
bermuDa is offline  
Old 04-23-2004, 04:52 PM   #7 (permalink)
Junkie
 
SabrinaFair's Avatar
 
Location: Louisville, KY
Quote:
Originally posted by bermuDa
and did you remember her name? heh.

Never used a line, I let my actions speak for me
Good policy.
Actions speak louder than words...and are much more likely to end in orgasm. :-P
__________________
"With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."
-Desiderata
SabrinaFair is offline  
Old 04-23-2004, 04:56 PM   #8 (permalink)
is KING!
 
bparker805's Avatar
 
Location: On the path to Valhalla.
Sitting in the hot tub

Me: Try this one over here. *postions girl between my legs on top of a jet*

Didn't even have time to call game, set and match.
bparker805 is offline  
Old 04-23-2004, 04:59 PM   #9 (permalink)
soaring
 
fallenangel's Avatar
 
Location: near the water
"I brought my digital camera over, wanna see if it works?"

*Devious laughter*
__________________
all I wanna do is - give the best of me to you
fallenangel is offline  
Old 04-23-2004, 05:11 PM   #10 (permalink)
Banned
 
It is definetely not game set and match when you get them into your room...*grumbles*.....

But one thing I've said thats worked is, "Hey, I've been wanted to tell you something for a while." And kissed. Well, I haven't done this yet, but I plan to soon. haha.

Other times I've hooked up there really was no conversation leading up to it, and I just went in for the kiss.
Xsas is offline  
Old 04-23-2004, 06:22 PM   #11 (permalink)
Darth Papa
 
ratbastid's Avatar
 
Location: Yonder
"I love you!"

Aaahh, High School. Good times!
ratbastid is offline  
Old 04-23-2004, 07:26 PM   #12 (permalink)
Huzzah for Welcome Week, Much beer shall I imbibe.
 
Location: UCSB
Quote:
Originally posted by ratbastid
"I love you!"

Aaahh, High School. Good times!
So wrong and yet so very, very true...
__________________
I'm leaving for the University of California: Santa Barbara in 5 hours, give me your best college advice - things I need, good ideas, bad ideas, nooky, ect.

Originally Posted by Norseman on another forum:
"Yeah, the problem with the world is the stupid people are all cocksure of themselves and the intellectuals are full of doubt."
nanofever is offline  
Old 04-24-2004, 02:12 AM   #13 (permalink)
Femme Fatale
 
Nancy's Avatar
 
Location: Elysium
Ok this is not mine but it's so hilarious that I just had to share it with you guys.

I was at this huge party 6 years ago where I overheard my class mate Bjarke trying to pick up a hot little lady.

he (so incredibly drunk) takes her hand, looks her into the eyes and says: "You smell just like my grandmother!"

No he did not get the girl and boy do I wish I had a camera to snap the look on her face when he told her that!
__________________
I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy.
I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.
Nancy is offline  
Old 04-24-2004, 04:37 AM   #14 (permalink)
Go faster!
 
DEI37's Avatar
 
Location: Wisconsin
Now wait just a minute, Averett...you didn't tell us what worked on you! What did he ask?
__________________
Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.
DEI37 is offline  
Old 04-24-2004, 05:42 AM   #15 (permalink)
Boy am I horny today
 
absorbentishe's Avatar
 
Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!
Will you marry me? Well the rest is history from there.
absorbentishe is offline  
Old 04-24-2004, 06:27 AM   #16 (permalink)
Dubya
 
Location: VA
Quote:
Originally posted by Nancy
Ok this is not mine but it's so hilarious that I just had to share it with you guys.

I was at this huge party 6 years ago where I overheard my class mate Bjarke trying to pick up a hot little lady.

he (so incredibly drunk) takes her hand, looks her into the eyes and says: "You smell just like my grandmother!"

No he did not get the girl and boy do I wish I had a camera to snap the look on her face when he told her that!
__________________
"In Iraq, no doubt about it, it's tough. It's hard work. It's incredibly hard. It's - and it's hard work. I understand how hard it is. I get the casualty reports every day. I see on the TV screens how hard it is. But it's necessary work. We're making progress. It is hard work."
Sparhawk is offline  
Old 04-24-2004, 04:20 PM   #17 (permalink)
Is In Love
 
Averett's Avatar
 
Location: I'm workin' on it
Quote:
Originally posted by DEI37
Now wait just a minute, Averett...you didn't tell us what worked on you! What did he ask?
You're right, I didn't say

If I tell it, all the boys will know what will work on me.. Can't let that out!
__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.
Averett is offline  
Old 04-24-2004, 05:11 PM   #18 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Seaver's Avatar
 
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Me? Usually I never use lines, thats what drives them crazy. I let them initiate everything.

Usually how it goes:

Me: (lay her in bed, and lay next to her not even touching)
Her: <Insert random comment here>
Me: <Insert random reply>
..pause..
Her: You're not like most guys are you?
Me: What do you mean?
Her: Well most guys would be trying to grope me at this point.
Me: <kiss> I'm sorry, I've been wanting to do that all night.
Her: <slurp>

game, set, match..

The thing is these are the most sexually conservative girls that this works on. They're so used to being groped and chased after they're caught completely off guard by someone who acts completely apathetic.
Seaver is offline  
Old 04-24-2004, 10:01 PM   #19 (permalink)
I'll be on the veranda, since you're on the cross.
 
monkeysugar's Avatar
 
Location: Rand McNally's friendliest small town in America. They must have strayed from the dodgy parts...
"If I were just interested in getting laid, I'd go hook up with some random party ho. That's not why I'm with you. I'm with you because...(insert romantic stuff here)...not because I'm just out to get some. If you decide you want to have sex with me at some point, that's great. If not, that's not going to change how I feel about you."
__________________
I've got the love of my life and a job that I enjoy most of the time. Life is good.
monkeysugar is offline  
Old 04-24-2004, 10:04 PM   #20 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Here's mine:

me: "I'm really drunk and need someone to help take care of me"

Her: "Oh my buddy needs help"

me: "help me into bed"
Tuffy_McGee is offline  
Old 04-26-2004, 09:39 AM   #21 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Atlanta, GA
Quote:
Originally posted by Xsas

But one thing I've said thats worked is, "Hey, I've been wanted to tell you something for a while." And kissed. Well, I haven't done this yet, but I plan to soon. haha.

Had this happen to me, and yes, it worked quite well.
teph is offline  
Old 04-26-2004, 11:13 AM   #22 (permalink)
pow!
 
clavus's Avatar
 
Location: NorCal
Look, I know you are thinking that this is wrong. But I also know that you haven't been laid in a long time. We both know that I am younger better looking, and in better shape than your husband. But what you don't know is that I have a tongue like an electric eel on speed, and I can hold my breath for a loooooong time. C'mon, Grandma. Grandpa won't be back for hours. Why deny yourself this?
__________________
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.
clavus is offline  
Old 04-26-2004, 11:50 AM   #23 (permalink)
"Afternoon everybody." "NORM!"
 
Paradise Lost's Avatar
 
Location: Poland, Ohio // Clarion University of PA.
Me: Umm, Hi.
Female: *Walks away*

As you can see, I've been very unsuccessful.
__________________
"Marino could do it."
Paradise Lost is offline  
Old 04-26-2004, 12:07 PM   #24 (permalink)
A boy and his dog
 
Schwan's Avatar
 
Location: EU!
Quote:
Originally posted by Paradise Lost
Me: Umm, Hi.
Female: *Walks away*

As you can see, I've been very unsuccessful.
Er. Drop the "Umm"?

Okay, okay, I'll leave...
Schwan is offline  
Old 04-26-2004, 01:05 PM   #25 (permalink)
Rawr!
 
skier's Avatar
 
Location: Edmontania
Want to go to Tim Hortons? I'll let you eat the bowl.
__________________
"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim
skier is offline  
Old 04-27-2004, 02:21 AM   #26 (permalink)
Still searching...
 
madsenj37's Avatar
 
Location: NorCal For Life
The best line used on me follows: Im sitting in a chair, proofreading this hot girls paper.

Her: Why don't you sit on my bed? Its more comfortable. It's not like Im gonna rape you or anything.
Me: Alright.
__________________
"Only two things are certain: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not certain about the universe."
-- Albert Einstein
madsenj37 is offline  
Old 04-27-2004, 02:25 AM   #27 (permalink)
Flavor+noodles
 
qtpye4u84's Avatar
 
Location: oregon
Hummmmm.......can I be your naughty naughty matress monkey.
Or Can I give you a back rub!?!? but for me its easy I'm a girl so I have an advantage lol.
__________________
The QTpie
qtpye4u84 is offline  
Old 04-27-2004, 02:07 PM   #28 (permalink)
Upright
 
My name may not be Wilma, but I can make your bed rock
__________________
"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." -Michael Dermott
jazz is offline  
Old 04-27-2004, 02:16 PM   #29 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Used a few on this girl who was my girlfriend at the time, we just used to seduce each other. As you can see, we did it in quite a jokey way:

Me: You have lovely legs *stroking thighs* what time do they open? *leaning over to start...*

Me: Hey, does this cloth smell of chloroform to you? *put cloth over her mouth, she pretends to slump over in my arms, I lay her down and we start mucking around*

Me: My magic watch tells me you aren't wearing any panties.
Her: Yeah, I am.
Me: Oh! Wait, it's 5 minutes fast.

The time after that
Me: My magic watch tells me you aren't wearing any panties.
Her: I'm not.
*guess*

And the final one...
Me: Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
TheBrit is offline  
Old 04-27-2004, 05:03 PM   #30 (permalink)
Loser
 
"I'm Rick James, bitch"
WarWagon is offline  
Old 04-27-2004, 05:09 PM   #31 (permalink)
Inspired by the mind's eye.
 
mirevolver's Avatar
 
Location: Between the darkness and the light.
Best line used on me:
*I was leaving a bar*
Her: Do you need a ride? Because I can ride you all night long.

(I'm dating her now.)
__________________
Aside from my great plans to become the future dictator of the moon, I have little interest in political discussions.

Last edited by mirevolver; 04-27-2004 at 05:12 PM..
mirevolver is offline  
Old 04-27-2004, 06:16 PM   #32 (permalink)
Upright
 
i had this 15 year old tell me he was hung like a horse and would eat me out for 3 hours straight... needless to say it didn't work on me...
i don't have any funny lines, but one time i told this guy i just felt like crashing on his bed... he got the picture and i got to get me some ;-)
ZenkiChica is offline  
Old 04-27-2004, 06:23 PM   #33 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: 1000 miles from nowhere
I remember just telling this girl that I wanted to kiss her... ^_^
__________________
Sorrow is better than laughter,
because a sad face is good for the heart. -Ecclesiastes 7:3
CheeseButtons is offline  
Old 04-27-2004, 06:50 PM   #34 (permalink)
Cautiously soaring
 
ruggerp11's Avatar
 
Location: exploring my new home in SF
honestly I know I can say things to make it work but I am usually so drunk I don't remember what I say. That has backfired on me though. Once I am drunk and I get them on my couch in my apt my average is pretty fucking good.
__________________
Patriotism means being loyal to your country all the time and to its government when it deserves it.
--Mark Twain
Do What makes you happy
--Me
BUT!
"Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness" - Chuang-Tzu
ruggerp11 is offline  
Old 04-27-2004, 08:05 PM   #35 (permalink)
Banned
 
Quote:
Originally posted by TheBrit
And the final one...
Me: Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
Ah yes, a spinoff of the age-old Goth people pickup line:

"Nice boots, wanna fuck?"

lol
analog is offline  
Old 04-27-2004, 09:23 PM   #36 (permalink)
Upright
 
"hey... you gonna eat that?"
sevenoate is offline  
Old 04-28-2004, 12:16 AM   #37 (permalink)
ham on rye would be nice
 
greyeyes's Avatar
 
Location: I don't even know anymore
She was my ex of just a few days when I said this to her. She had just come over to my house to chill and I was about to go take my history exam:

Me: I know why you have been stressed out lately.
She: Oh, and why is that?
Me: You really need to get laid.

I did pretty well on that exam
__________________
I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.
- Zach Braff
greyeyes is offline  
Old 05-02-2004, 03:16 AM   #38 (permalink)
Upright
 
"honey, you make me want to get a job."

its funny because i probably wont get a job.
lazlo is offline  
Old 05-02-2004, 08:31 AM   #39 (permalink)
Upright
 
Him: (taking out guitar) want to hear some guster?
Me: only if you can play that while i'm on top of you
im just a girl is offline  
Old 05-02-2004, 12:47 PM   #40 (permalink)
Junkie
 
fhqwhgads's Avatar
 
Back in college I was talking to a female friend of mine on the phone...we were both flirting back and forth and such. We were talking about crazy things we'd done, and she mentioned something about a friend who showed up at her boyfriend's door only wearing an overcoat...nothing underneath. I made a comment on how sexy I thought something like that was.

About 30 minutes after I hang up the phone, I hear a knock on my dorm room door....

fhqwhgads is offline  
 

Tags
biggest, line, pants

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 07:31 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360