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Things you've said/heard DURING sex...
It had to be done :lol:
Heard: Dont move! pant pant... Okay, move! Said: Laughter at above statement Ow! (after knocking myself in the head with my own foot :crazy:) |
Heard:
Here, can we do this? :shifting into some weird position: Do you like this? I love you. Said (in reply to those above): Pant pant pant...This isn't working... :nod nod: I...l-l-love... -or- :whisper: I love you too? And... HEHEH DID YOU HEAR ME QUEEF?!?!? HEHEHEH...:D :lol: |
I seem to remember asking, "Can we go get something to eat?" during a sex session. I was bored at the moment, and about twenty pounds heavier at the time. We ended up getting dressed and going to get pizza.
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Oddest thing I've ever heard was "Fuck me Daddy, Fuck Me!" This girl was defnitely into the passion, and didnt even remember saying it. It gives me a good laugh to bring it up.
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Yeah, my boyfriend once asked: Who's your daddy?
And then he also told me that I look healthy down there. I like bringing it up for a good laugh, too. I'll call him Dr (Last Name). Heh. |
ive gotten "is it in yet"
thankfully, no it wasnt |
Heard: "Fuck me, baby!"
Said in reply: "I love you, too." |
Well, as I've only had sex once, the funniest thing I ever said was *Phhrrtt*.
And yes, that is the sound you make when you squeeze her titties together and blow, making a farting-noise. Thankfully she had a sence of humor :lol: |
Heard: A lot of crazy stuff (hehehe fallenangel)
Said: A lot of crazy stuff back let's just leave it at that |
Heard - "Are you sure this is a good idea?" (I had broken my ankle that morning)
Said - "Nope" (but I kept going anyways) |
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Heard - "My parent's home!"
Said - "Fuck em" |
Said to me by an exgf:
I am not sucking that after its been in my ass. but the funniest thing i ever heard was a noise she made after having sex in an uncomfortable place, and Im not talking about the backseat of a VW. |
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Or when he induced a period. 'Oh look, you're bleeding...oh well.' |
Heard:
"Wow, that feels amaz-, ow. No, too far." "Where the hell did you learn to.. *dissolves into gibberish*" |
While I was 17, during the night of girlfriend's 18th birthday.
Said: "Hows does child abuse feels?!" |
Eh....
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No no no no no please no!!! (said as I was pulling out of her and threatening to get dressed)
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Heard: "BRANDI!!! WHAT IS THAT IN YOUR MOUTH?!?!?!?" "What does it look like"
it went downhill from there... (we were on the couch and her mother walked in..) Things said by my partner during sex...wow, umm..lemme think, "I've been doing my excercises, can you tell" Me: "deep moan" (PCG excercises) her..:"Don't get it in my hair" me: "Whooopsie" there are others... |
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my favorite was when i was on top of this guy and he kept sayin "thatta girl.." i dunno why but it was a turn on :) one time i asked a guy how his father was doing... i guess i was gettin bored but he didn't seem to like the fact that i was thinking about his dad during sex :confused: |
She's on top grinding away, and she's gotten up a pretty good sweat, and I hear,
"your turn to do the work, I'm tired!" Never really thought about it like work. But it's really one of the few jobs I couldn't complain about doing! |
I have a filthy mouth and anyone who doesn't will be gagged for good reason.
My last sexual encounter went something like this..... I don't remember what he had to say,Wasn't important. I remember saying.. Mmmmm fuck. Yes Daddy,I am your sweet little whore,Spit on me so I can bounce on your big cock,uh huh... mmmmm yeah,I fucking love you too Sir.Spank my ass?..Smack!Harder please Sir?Smack!I want more,fuck me harder, more,more,more.Hold my hair tightly,hold my throat too...C'mere and fuck my pretty mouth.Oh yea,Give me more,C'mon untie me,Let me touch you....Bite my shoulder,Hurt me Sir,I deserve it.Harder,faster,hold me tighter,Dont be soft,Break me in two you sexy fucker.Why wont you hurt me?.. Fuck me proper you pussy,I need it.uh..um.. babe.. don't slow down...whatsa matter? C'mon,untie me,Are you okay? Soft?... it's fucking soft..You are soft,You fuck like a fairy,I can't believe I scared you,You are a pussy,I like this game!I love this game! You cracked like a14 year old girl.. Pussy! (sound of bong shattering) I'm going to sit under the water,You should go home. Needless to say..I'm single and he wants to marry me. If anyone is an experienced player of... that game.. pm me. |
I put on my robe and wizard hat...
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Anywho, I just got laid last night, and lots and lots of things were said that night. While i was fingering her ass while we were at it doggy-style she told me that I needed to get my finger out, she couldn't focus enough on just the regular sex :P |
Heard: "OooOOooo-" *thunk*"-ow, fuck" (she hit her head on the wall while tossing her head in what I would assume was ecstacy)
Said: "It's just some salsa to go with the taco..." |
Heard- "i cant do this to both of you at the same time, you have to play rock, paper, scissors of something"
Said - "well fuck me" Heard- "just did" said - "good point" |
heard- you bastards better not be out there smoking without me! (have to love stoner chicks:p )
heard- will you fucking stop shagging next to me, it's hard enough to skin up on this bed as it is (once again, you have to love stoner chicks) said- allow that heard- right, ok, thats it, if your not gona let me skin up, i'm just gona have to join in said-i can't believe i'm not gona remember this tomorrow heard-i'm having a threesome! I said- no-one gives a fucking damn amy! mate said- wheres em and jane? *scramble to get upstairs' |
Are we going to tell your wife? : X
I wish that your brother would have stayed longer...... and You'd better clean that fucking mess up! and to the one boy...Fuck up.love,fuck up. |
Friend told me this story:
OK, her and her boyfriend have a mutual female friend called Deeba. She is lying back, he boyfriend is fingering her, she moans "Ooh, deeper", but doesn't form her p that well. There was an awkward silence, followed by laughter. |
said: Saddle up
*confused look heard: Jesus Christ I just came five times, I did't know I could do that (felt pretty good to hear) also heard: whoa, look at the couch (huge wet spot) I wish I had some funny ones but unfortuantly I do not, though I think an old gf passed out during sex for a min or two (I was pretty lit my self) cause I was fucking her from behind and smacking her ass really hard and I got no response at all. I only noticed when I looked back. mainly its just the usual "you like that don't you?" and "tell me you fucking like that" |
gf's passing out is fun...
just find that spot and keep her there until she just goes dead ahh..memories |
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Heard: "Aye Papi"
Moans, deep breathing. |
Heard: " Oh shit my dad's home ! AND HE'S A COP !!!"
ME: pants pants where the hell are my pants. |
HIM: "damn, you make me want to just burst!" -or something to that extent....
I love hearing that....... |
best one for me
heard: Are we running a marathon (during a long session) and from a friend and his wife heard: lets change possions (shuffle, thunk) ouch the floor is hard.. |
don't......
stop....... don't..... stop...... no,... don't.... stop... :) |
Him....." oh oh Mrs. Simpson"
Me in the act with sons best friend...." fine ...gasp...for you to call me *****" |
BOOYAH!
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"is that a cat licking my ass?"
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her to me after we had come, and I was getting ready to dismount:
"you have to sleep in the wet spot this time" |
Said while recieving oral just a few months ago..
"I need hair gel" .. I've always told her my mind is always thinking aobut 4 or 5 things at once, even during sex.. she neve belived me.. SHe was a bit upset, I believe is teh correct way to put it.. Luckiliy for me laster that night we were watching Will and Grace (Yuck - her choice no tmine)) and Will is really interested in this guy and as he walks away from they guy he thinks to himself "I need Fabric Softner" We both fell out of bed laughing and I was totally forgiven. Anyway It sucks never being able to focus on one thing exclusively expically sex. |
my fav
Heard = "Wrong hole" Said = "Oops sorry" knowing fall well it was no accident. When I get drunk and horney (normally before I pass out) I say " I'm going to come in all your holes" Which all the girls I have said it to have been rather excited and agreeable to. Another top one from a new girlfriend. "I forgot to take my pill so we can't have sex" .........gets better....... " I supose you could just fuck me up the arse" She said it so innocently and as a passing comment with a tiny smile as she walked off!!! After the act (her first time that way) she goes "You lying bastard you said it didn't hurt" (muwuhaaha) but then said "I supose we will just have to practice so i get used to it" ROCK ON!!! ANother classic was in the morning my SO goes "Oh yeah did you fuck my in my sleep last night?" I said "OMG I so thought you were awake, you moved to acomadate me and made all the right noises!!!" SHe said she actualy liked it as she was aware of it in her dream and actually incoporated it into the dream!! |
she whispered, so lightly I could barely hear...and I had to stop and ask her
"Did you say...YOU'RE so hard, or NOT so hard?" |
Heard: "Uhhhhhh..." number 7!
Best night of my life. Good for her too, I suppose :) Said: (as I came) "Oh dear" I still haven't lived that one down... |
Friend told me this one once:
He and a group of his friends are all hooking up after a cast party in a friend's camper.... One if his friends is known for having a large manhood... well, after they're all into their separate things, they hear from the rear of the camper (the door is closed) "JESUS _____, it IS big!" laughter ensued. Also, one of the other friends was recieving oral from a lovely lady... just before he blew in her mouth he states, in his best Sean Connery impression, "The day is mine!" laughter ensued. My favorite: "One time during sex I called Louis Frank. Your move, Sherlock" |
"dont stop"
"to the left....no right....no my right" |
Shut the *%#$ up! Fighting back only makes me more angry!
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"You two, get dressed and get out of the car. License and registration please."
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Said: I think my bed is going to break.
Heard: We're gonna fuck it to splinters. Said: Careful! You're rearranging my internal organs. |
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Heard: "Deeper baby, oh yes, deeper deeper!"
Said: "I can't" :( Heard: "Just dont get it in my eye, hon....AAAGHHH!" Said: "Whoops" :( Heard: "What's that sound?" Said: "Oh, sorry. You could hear that?" Heard: "What? No, was that the door?" Said: "Uhm, no?" (It turns out to be her parents.) :( Heard: "Ohhh, yes...that feels so good." Said: "Mmmm...wow." Heard: "Wait, is the condom on?" Said: "Condom?" :( Said: "This feels amazing, mmm" Heard: "Hun, you arnt in yet." :( Heard: "Excuse me, we're going to have to ask you two to leave the park. We dont allow sexual activity in the wave pool." :( Heard: "Hi, we're home!....WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?" :( (After blowjob, I came on her, but some of it overshot and got on the floor. We went to the bathroom to clean up, and upon returning...) Heard: "Ok, got the towel. So....wait....what is the cat doing licking the floor?...Oh my god." Said: "BAD KITTY!" :( I've had a very tragic sex life. |
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she says: Heard fart sound. " don't worry thats my cunt!" I have said: " no Fuck you!" |
"If only your mother could see us now"
Sorta killed the mood that one. Don't know why........... |
hehe, I was once doing it doggy style, when the dog I was dog-watching came up and started licking her boobs. We both fell over laughing, it was too funny to continue.
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For fans of the tv show "Just Shoot Me"...
The other night I was absolutely exhausted after working in the backyard for 11 hours straight and my wife decided that she wanted some. She was on top of me and starting to get into it, when my brain malfunctioned an I recited the line "chicken pot, chicken pot, chicken pot pie" mood killer extreme |
Heard: "Tell me what you want"
Said: (My mind racing as I think what the right answer here is) "I want to make love to you" Heard: "Tell me you want to fuck me" Said: "You want my dick now, huh?" |
Her: Where does your mom work?
Me: You've gotta be kidding me... |
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heard: You know the kids need lunch money. Damn it! I forgot to set out their clothes for school. I'll be right back.
Said: Snore. |
Said to my ex while we were having a 69 on the couch:
are you sure your mother won’t see us like this? Heard: I am tired…. you didn’t come? Oh I am sorry….. next time, next time… Heard: Charles, are you going to work today….. (after my aunt opened the door and saw me on top of her…) Heard a huge, huge laughing and head shaking after my mother saw my penis hanging out of my jeans while I ran downstairs upon her calling my name during my session upstairs. Heard from ex: aawww…. I think my ass is bleeding…. Did you know you were fucking my ass for the past 2 minutes? Said to drug store female pharmacist while buying a condom with sperm kill solution: so this thing is not gonna kill you right? Are you sure? Ok………… so it is ok to swallow it? Ok….. with it on or after sex? Ok……. Said: ssssshhhhhhhhhhh…………. Be quiet, don’t wake up Duncan…. |
Honestly, I once had to say to a girl, "That's not why they call it a blow job."
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my ex claimed i was too quiet, and she wanted me to make some noise, i was so used to having to be quiet, i've never made noise before, so i let out this huge tarzan yell as i climaxed, and fell off of her laughing my ass off....
heard: the theme song for the golden girls playing in the background |
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Said shortly after, in a very confused tone:
"Rob..?" "Yes?" "W..w..wheres my pants?" |
recently...
said... OMG your tight heard... Maybe I'm not tight, but your fucking huge said... well, maybe a little of both? said... I'm going to cum in your mouth, i want you to taste me heard (and sent me over the edge)... I want you to fuck me hard till your just about to cum and then pull out and cum in my mouth (I obliged) ... I tasted quite a bit of latex there heard... I want you to make me cum like I've never came before said (some time later)... Did I do like you asked (nods) heard... God, fuck me any way you want said... any way I want? heard... I told you, I'd think about that said... I know, I just had to say it (big grin) said... I just wanted to make you cum heard... you did honey when coming fully awake to her riding me heard... well..you woke me up (that I did, a few more times) said... Jesus, these are nice. How big are they? heard... what? said... I love your breasts, how big are they? heard... uuuuhhhh, 34b/c (so don't remember) said... well the're wonderfull heard... thanks Heard (after joking about it) I AM FILLED WITH CHRISTS LOVE said (also after joking about it) Whose my pretty princess? |
Scene - necking.
Me: Oh shit! Um, I mean I just found some gum in your hair...wonder how it got there. *nervous laugh* Scene - me going down Me: Um...honey, don't know how to tell you this but...there is gum in your pubic hair. Scene - me going down Me: Oh-oh. Her: *sight* not again... Me: Oh phew I got it...no, wait, get the scissors. |
said.
"ummm would you please be able to stop now, i think my penis is bleeding." Recovery took 3 weeks. Worst hand job ever. |
Owww...
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Heard...What do you want to do thats fun?
Said...What? This isnt? |
Me: I can't do it again, you fucked me raw.
Her: There is Solarcaid in the medicine cabnet. Me: *long pause* Oh..ok...be right back Me: Can I cum on your face? Her: *evil glare* Me: Ok never mind Her: I can't do it, your dog is starring at me.....panting! Me: Ya, he just waiting for his turn Her: *makes pukey face* rolls over Me: What? Me: How old are you? Her: Does it matter? Me: *YIKES*------oh well Me: Your cat is attacking my foot! Her: I don't have a cat. Me: What the???? and of course, Her: THATS THE WRONG HOLE! Me: oops All true......really! |
Dawson, the second and third had me splittin sides, i love it :)
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haha,
me: "ooh baby you're so tight" Her: "Wrong hole fool" props to who can tell me what movie that comes from true ones i just heard: Me: *heavy breathing* her: "Get off the phone you pervert" ok, seriously, true ones: Me: "Did we just...wow...was that supposed to happen" her: "I can't feel my legs" another: her: "CRAMP!!!!! DON"T MOVE MY LEG THAT WAY YOU FUCKING MORON" Me: "Oops" her: "i can't believe i'm doing this" me: "just wear it please :) her: "You wanna do what!??!?! me: "Gotcha" (she doesn't like anal) her: 'you're too great to me" me: "I know, i wish you'd share that info with the world bc i'm lonely' her: "nope, you're my little secret" me: "i'm gonna..." her: "OH HELL NO YOU AREN'T!!! 5 MORE MINUTES...DON"T YOU DARE STOP NOW" her: "Do you know what today is" me: *starts sweating profusely* "umm..the old irish holiday of dervisnishka...that's the day where you celebrate the love you have for another by making her the happiest person alive" her: "but isn't that everyday" me: "yeah, it's a funny holiday like that...sometimes even happens two or three times a day" |
Thanks FA...glad I can make you giggle.
But I forgot the worst one: Me: mmmmmmm*munching down below* Her: Oohhhhhh I'm gonna cuuummmmm Me: ow ow ow your squeezing my head! finsihed....and scoot up to her...... Her: You have something red on your fa** My eyes grow huge Me: running to the bathroom..........*gag* *gag* AHHHHRRGGG! I forgot about this one. Go figure I tried to block it out. YUK! |
oh oh oh.....
yeah, going down on a girl and realizing the bloodflow is in full stream about 10 minutes into it...scary, but can be fun, depends on the moon.. :) |
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YUK:eek: (theres no pukey face Icon) |
yeah, redwings are well earned here...first time hardway, second time, hornyway...
eh, it happens, whatever. I've also had a gf lose bladder control when she was on top bc she just came a bit too intensely. It happens, she was embarassed when she came to, but you know, who really gives a fuck, it's sterile, i don't care and i have a waterbed, so my mattress doesn't smell and i can wash the sheets. funstuff... |
I had a girl told me "you lnow your cum tastes good"
and another tell me "you have a rad cock" Those were the 2 best sex comments I ever had |
Heard: Oh, I love this show. (We now turn off the TV during sex ;))
Said: Don't move, you've got a puddle of sweat in your belly button :D |
me: wait, dont move, whered the condom go?
her: ew, thats whats running down my leg apparently when she stood up from on top of me, she took it with her... Ive also heard the ACK! Wrong hole!!! Me: How many times did you come? Her: I lost track after 7 Her: Holy shit, its been 2 hours |
not to threadjack, but is 2 hrs unheard of for sex?
also...how about. her: "I think it's still inside me" me: "Oh SHIT, the condom's stuck" saw: The condom hanging out of her with fluids running down her leg bc KY jelly becomes GLUE after about 30 minutes... She had to gently tug and pull and it would have been really comedic if the fluids weren't dripping down into her openings.. (i'm paranoid about pregnancy) it's funny now... |
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Heard: "Don't cum in me..."
Said: "Honey, I don't plan on cumming IN you, but cumming ON you is a different story." |
ME: I want to suck your d**k tonight..
HIM: Nah, I'm too tired. (Very Weird!!!!) The strangest thing I ever said were not words, but a song. The radio was on and I heard a 'catchy' song and started to hum it. After we were done, he looked at me and asked "were you singing???" Oops, I guess I was!!! |
said in best trent reznor voice, "I wanna fuck you like an animal"
heard: "i don't like the word fuck" |
I read this once on another forum and had to save it. I couldn't remember the name of the poster or if it was his original work. My apologies to the original author for copying it without a reference, but this is just too damn good.....
The Male Orgasm I was once having a conversation with Jesus and our girlfriends and Razor's house, and an interesting subject came up. (And yes, I purposely included the name of an uberuser guru in a pale attempt to gain popularity) Anyway, someone asked, "Why are guys so quiet in bed." And while this is by no means true for all guys, here is my answer. Guys are quiet in bed because we are too busy thinking. You heard me right. Thinking. Deep thoughts. You see, it seems to generally the guy's job, (at least in my experience) to make the girl feel as good as possible and have sweet, sweet orgasms. The girl, on the other hand, is generally content to just lay back and see what I've got to offer. Again, I can't speak for anyone else, this is just in my personal experience. Not only am I thinking during sex, I am multi-tasking. My neuro-net processor of a brain is pounding algorithms as fast as my penis is pounding pussy. Just what is going through my head during sex? Like the moon, this is a frontier so far journeyed only by man. But here is a small window of what goes on in my head during sex: "Alright, time for some action" "I hope I don't fuck up this time" "Is that the right hole?" "Oh wait, there it is" "All right, lets start out slow" It isn't long before my thoughts turn into a quiet panic. BRAIN: "Damn, she just moved." BRAIN: "Did I do something right, or did I hurt her" BRAIN: "She's making noises!" BRAIN: "Pain noises or pleasure noises?" BRAIN: "Let try stepping up the pace a little" BRAIN: "More noises, I pretty sure that's pleasure now" BRAIN: "Oh yeah, she's starting to flush, I like that" BRAIN: "Lets try changing the angle a bit" ............................. BRAIN: "Nope, didn't like that" BRAIN: "Damn, what was I doing before?" BRAIN: "Fuck it, lets try a different position" WOMAN: "OUCH!" BRAIN: "Yeah....that one was definitely pain> WOMAN: "What are you doing?" BRAIN: "Mayday! Mayday!" BRAIN: "Decrease Velocity!" BRAIN: "Open flaps" BRAIN: "Landing gear engaged" BRAIN: "Disengage primary thrusters" BRAIN: "Systems check" ME: "You allright?" WOMAN: "Uh....Yeah" BRAIN: "No system damage" ME: "Allright, lets try this again" —five minutes later....computer pretty much takes over— BRAIN: "Allright, back on track" BRAIN: "Target in sight, hold position" BRAIN: "C'mon.......C'mon" BRAIN: "Hold it......Hold it....." COMPUTER: WARNING! WARNING! COMPUTER: ERR-ERR-ERR BRAIN: "Oh shit" COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD IMMINENT BRAIN: "Oh shit, not yet!" BRAIN: "Just a little longer" COMPUTER: DANGER HULL INTEGRITY COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD COMMENCING BRAIN: "FUCK! I'm not going to make it" BRAIN: "Pull out and prepare for manual override" COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD __________ BRAIN: "Pull out, pull out" COMPUTER: AUTO PILOT ENGAGED BRAIN: "NO! UNENGAGE! UNENGAGE!" COMPUTER: TARGET LOCKED....TARGET LOCKED BRAIN: "If I cum now, will it be too soon?" BRAIN: "If I cum now, will it be too soon?" BRAIN: "If I cum now, will it be too soon?" COMPUTER: COMPUTER: BRAIN: "Must....hold....on" COMPUTER: BRAIN: "can't.....hold it" COMPUTER: BRAIN: "Its out of my control, its in God's hands now" COMPUTER: "PRIMARY VALVE: EJACULATING" COMPUTER: "AUTOMATIC SYSTEM SHUT DOWN: COMMENCING" WOMAN: "Honey, are you alright?" ME: Yeah.....my head hurts...." WOMAN: "Sorry" ME: No, the other head" WOMAN: "What?" ME: Nothing" ME: Did you cum" WOMAN: "What, you didn't notice" ME: Actually, I was kinda too busy to notice" WOMAN: "You're so weird" ME: You should try being the pilot next time" WOMAN: "Get off me, I need to pee" Do you ever find that pre-orgasm expression on a guys face funny? Ever wonder what he's feeling" Its not pain Its not pleasure It is deep, hard, seething thought. |
her: Put it in my ass
me: Don't have any lube her: NOW! |
Funniest thing heard:
**Bring Bring** What? Hello? Oh high mum... (my GF at the time answered the phone whilst I was dining at the Sea Shanty) blah blah blah.... Yeah he's here. ME: ??? HER: Yeah he'll say hi. ME: (removing a pube :) Oh hi. Blah blah. (Meanwhile she's now giving me a hand!) All in all it was a very strange occurance. |
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Her: "Talk dirty to me..." Me:.... "I'm coming!!" ;) Gotta love the Wayans Classic: Don't Be a Menace to South Central while Drinking Your Juice in the 'Hood. :D some great stuff in this thread. I'll have to think about the best/strangest I've ever heard.... |
Her.. just as we're hitting a climax point (or I was, I guess she wasn't as much.. ): Baby, this is really unromantic.. but I'll be right back.. *runs to the toilet to pee*
Earlier in the night we make a joke about her moaning "Frank" during sex (was in reference to a movie I think.. she didn't actually do it).. later that night we're getting into it hot and heavy.. and I say: "Ohhhhhh... Frankkkkk"... We both started cracking up and had to abort the mission for a little while hehe. One time we were.. going at it (spooning-style).. and the TVs on.. she's not really into it.. she's basically doing it for my benefit.. but Win Ben Stein's Money was on.. She started yelling out answers to the show. Just ruined it hehe. |
Oh.. one more.. in my bedroom.. at my parent's place.. it's Saturday morning.. me and girl are going at it for a bit of morning nookie.. and we both hear: "knock knock knock" on the door. Quickly roll over, cover ourselves with a sheet.. and say "yeah...", knowing full well we were making a bit of noise and whoever was on the other side of that door heard us...
16 year old younger brother slowly opens the door a bit (the room smells of sex).. and says "Mom says pancakes are ready".. all the while looking downwards... he quickly closed the door.. after that, we couldn't finish.. and went and had pancakes hehe. |
Sorry, but he best still is when she looked me dead in the eye, with tussled hair, breathing heavy and glowing in the moonlight and let out this lovely "Ohhhhh" and then said "I love you."
Nothing else, regardless of how wild, fun, raunchy, or romantic- has ever come close. |
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Said while I was "downtown":
"Speak to me here, give me a sign" Her response as she grabbed the back of my head: "Aaaaaaaahhhh!!!! SHUT UP!!!!" It kinda runied the mood cuz I couldn't stop laughing for about 5 minutes. She didn't think it was quite as funny. |
this is FUNNY shit...... (a little scary though!)
My guy and i were fuckin and i'm all into it and cummin and all that, and he says, " Oh girl I just had my first 3some I think!" My chihuahua named Tequila had come up behind him and was lickin his ass!!!!! LMAO The next day he showed up with a present for my dog, NONE for me. We now know who was better in bed OUCH!!!! |
Heard:
Get your camera said: huh? Heard: GET YOUR FUCKING CAMERA said *quietly*: I left it in Jimmy's truck Heard: are you fucking kidding me? said: no, sorry :( heard: well at least put some music on then (this happened more than once, and every godamn time I didn't have my fucking camera, I am still pissed) various other things too "get on the floor" "no sit up" "wait lay back down" "don't fucking move" etc. I'll post more as I think of it (or it happens w00t!) |
Let me see...
First girl I was with-"Your bigger than most of the other guys I've been with." That statement made me kind of nervous. Current girlfriend- "Don't let it get on the sheets" Me-"Huh?" Her-"Get me a tissue" Me-"You get it, Im exhausted" We had be going for about an hour and a half. |
Many years ago::
Her: Oooooh, Ahhh... (usual sounds...) (bonk, bonk, bonk...) Her: I'm nearly there honey, don't stop... (bonk, bonk, bonk...) Her: Oh my God, Andrew, you are sensational... (all stop - deathly silence) Her: Oh shit... I never bothered to find out who Andrew was. Fairly recently:: Her: dont stop... a little to the right... no, um.. left... no my left... your right... whatever... just don't stop... Made me smile. |
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