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Old 04-14-2004, 06:28 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Why don't straight men cuddle with straight men

Why not? - I don't ... and I actually "love" some of my dearest male friends - so I thought maybe some of you "straight" men who "do" cuddle with other straight or not that straight men would know
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Old 04-14-2004, 06:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Do straight women cuddle with their straight friends?

In my opinion, cuddling is something more intimate then friendships maybe go. I love my friends dearly, and I hug them, but cuddling is something reserved for my boyfriend only.
 
Old 04-14-2004, 06:54 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Guys dont cuddle with guys...
It just wouldnt seem right. You joke around, make fun of, fart etc, but you dont cuddle...
It just wouldnt be right or comfortable.
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Old 04-14-2004, 07:07 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Listen you can say guys don't cuddle, but lets say you best buddy that you share everything with had something dramatic happen in there life where they are just an emotional wreck. Your damn right, I'd comfort them in anyway short of sex to help them over that hump in there life, I'd expect they same from them....MEn, MEn,MEn, MEn...

I'll just say I don't called it cuddling, but comforting my best, man friend.
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Old 04-14-2004, 07:07 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I've seen straight women cuddle with same.
I remember holding my best friend's hand in second grade and being told to "stop at once" by my mother. So I think there is a pretty big social stigma. But I am more or less past that. The main reason I don't want to is...men aren't soft and squishy in the good way, like women are. They don't smell good the way women do.


...Also, I don't really care if some guy's breast brushes up against my arm.
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Old 04-14-2004, 07:52 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I like to cuddle with women, but I couldn't see myself cuddling with another guy.

Guys share handshakes and the occasional manly hug. But we don't cuddle.
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Old 04-14-2004, 08:11 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I've seen guys cuddle with guys but not the way guys cuddle with girls. I see a lot buttsmacking and grabbing too.
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Old 04-14-2004, 08:24 PM   #8 (permalink)
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The only guy i've "cuddled" with would be my best friend/roomate-
And even then it's more of a long hug until the other guy gets uncomfortable. At first I was the one always to push away, but lately there has been some "oneupmanship" going on and it just got akward. At the end of the 2? minutes I think if anyone walked in on it, it would look VERY bad. We agreed to a truce after that.
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Old 04-14-2004, 11:40 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Girls smell nicer.

I also consider cuddling an act of intimacy, not friendship.
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Old 04-14-2004, 11:54 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Myself, i only really cuddle girls. Although with other straight guys there's a different ettiquette of intamacy as Jesus Pimp sorta pointed out. This is normally a handshake, arm around shoulder (even hugging), chest bump, knuckleduster, chest punch/tap, buttslap/other tap... etc

Although i have connotations of cuddling as in a bed/lying down/more intimate spot, which is very different to a traditional hug.

The only time i'd cuddle with another guy, is in a life/death situation, where you'd need to share body heat etc. Otherwise, not really interested.

That said, i do and actally quite often cuddle with a straight heterosexual male, although that's my cat
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Old 04-15-2004, 12:16 AM   #11 (permalink)
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If you look on page 2 of your straight male handbook. You can see there it says Thou shalt not cuddle with thy neighbour unless thy neighbour be a hot chick.
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Old 04-15-2004, 01:02 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Guys just aren't... cuddleable, for lack of a better (real) word. I don't even think I'd cuddle with myself. Plus, for what reason would I have to cuddle with another straight guy? Guys don't show companionship with each other through touchy-feely methods. They don't really talk much either. Mostly grunts and farts... the occasional burp. Hitting, but only with a closed fist, is acceptible, as is a firm handshake and a pat on the back for a good friend. That's just how it is.
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Old 04-15-2004, 01:17 AM   #13 (permalink)
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If someone looks like they need a hug, they get hugged.

Gender is irrelevent.

I got over this whole "will doing this mean/make me gay???" bullshit a long time ago.
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Old 04-15-2004, 03:58 AM   #14 (permalink)
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In pakistan, it isn't odd to see two hetero males in a car and one of them leaning his head on the shoulder of the other while sleeping. I've even seen two men hold hands that were hetero.
It may just be a culture thing.
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Old 04-15-2004, 07:28 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I wouldn't mind a certain amount of contact with a close male friend, but no way I'm spooning with a guy. Nothing to me is attractive about a male, and to be that close to someone I expect them to be soft, have tits and a vagina. I'm totally down with gays being gay...I hope they get all the cock they can handle, just like I want all the pussy I can get.. But to have some guy all snuggled up to me...gross. I think I'd prefer head from a guy than something that intimate. Well, maybe not.
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Old 04-15-2004, 09:30 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Who say we don't?
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Old 04-15-2004, 10:07 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jim Kata
In pakistan, it isn't odd to see two hetero males in a car and one of them leaning his head on the shoulder of the other while sleeping. I've even seen two men hold hands that were hetero.
It may just be a culture thing.
Something like that here in Russia, too. It's an intensely homophobic culture, but at the same time, it's not unusual for men to walk down the streets arm in arm, and quite normal for men to kiss (mostly three times from cheek to cheek). Much more intense interpersonal relationships in general than in the West, with people either totally ignoring each other or otherwise holding very extended eye to eye contact. My teacher once said that Russian interaction begins where Westerners' leaves off, and I have to say he is not far from the truth.

Concerning the homophobia, perhaps it is just because there is such an attitude that it is possible for this intimate heterosexual exchange to exist - if you understand that you are an absolute heterosexual, the intimacy carries no homosexual overtones.
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Old 04-15-2004, 11:26 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by woodhead

Concerning the homophobia, perhaps it is just because there is such an attitude that it is possible for this intimate heterosexual exchange to exist - if you understand that you are an absolute heterosexual, the intimacy carries no homosexual overtones.
I don't know if you are saying it this way, but I'm so sick of being a man being called homophobia in this country. No str8 guy I know or have ever known would want some guy all up in the crack of his ass, no matter how close they are. Imagine going to your buddies' house on SuperBowl Sunday and him and another buddy are spooned on the couch in front of the TV. I don't even like football and that just repulses me. Most men by nature are not interested in any kind of physical contact with aother men unless they are gay, or they are extremely close and trust the man in question. Just because a guy doesn't want to kiss other men, snuggle on a couch in front of Monday Night Football, and give men hugs doesn't make him homophobic. If we're phobic of anything it's the intimacy and exposure of weakness to another man. Most straight men can allow allows themselves to let go emotionally around their woman, and suppress their "weaker" emotions around other men. Given this you can't expect a str8 guy to express himself emotionally in a physical way to other men. Of course the ultimate disclaimer applies (Many but not all).

Like I said, I'm very supportive of homosexuality. Naturally intimate emotional contact between males in part of the territory. In love you can expect nothing less from your partner, and I want to see all gays come out and marry and have houses and families just like anyone else. I refuse to accept the label of homophobe just becuase I don't want to engage in intimate behavior with males. Homophobe has become another smear word to intimidate ppl and make them look like something bad, when being a straight man is not bad.
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Last edited by Holo; 04-15-2004 at 11:31 AM..
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Old 04-15-2004, 12:18 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Blue mud. Stupid and arbitrary rules by which we live our lives.

I'm not about to go up against the blue mud wall unless there are decent reasons for me to do it. So, I cuddle with my female friends, and bond only using other mechanisms with male friends.

Then again, there are female friends I don't cuddle with, and those I do. So, things aren't so simple as that.
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Old 04-15-2004, 01:17 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Straight guy 1: "Dude...get over here close to me so we can cuddle. "

Straight guy 2: "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!?? KISS MY ASS TINY TIM! I Aint gonna CUDDLE with your dumb ass!!!"


nuh uh....aint ever gonna happen.
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Old 04-15-2004, 01:55 PM   #21 (permalink)
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I really feel like cuddling now.
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Old 04-15-2004, 02:41 PM   #22 (permalink)
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you know I thought about that once, but then the shrooms started settling down a bit.... I still love the guy, just not going to cuddle....
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Old 04-15-2004, 02:48 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Why don't straight men cuddle with straight men ?

That's what womens are for. And if I did cuddle with other guys, I wouldn't be straight.

Just my 2 bits.
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Old 04-15-2004, 03:17 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Out here in my pee-cee college town, there's a fair amount of same-sex hugging; you see it in 12-step groups, spirituality groups, men's groups, some churches, and so on. It's usually done as part of a meeting or ritual, so There Are Rules.

I'm not much of a hugger myself, with males or females, except with the missus, but it doesn't kill me when it happens.
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Old 04-15-2004, 05:42 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Wait... so other guys don't spoon with their guy friends?! I'VE BEEN BAMBOOZLED!
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Old 04-15-2004, 08:02 PM   #26 (permalink)
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There is a big leap from hugging to cuddleing. I see cudling as a lasting embrace. I don't see resting agianst eachother, holding hands or giving a hug (or man hug(shake to hug) cuddling. I haven't ever cuddled with a freind, it just never occured to me as something to do.
 
Old 04-15-2004, 08:21 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Golgothas
Wait... so other guys don't spoon with their guy friends?! I'VE BEEN BAMBOOZLED!
hhahaa.. GOTCHA!

no, wait.. =0


/doesn't actually know the previous poster


Love this thread though. Funny stuff. I think a hug is one thing, as is comforting a friend in a time of need. Cuddling/spooning on the couch is something you do with someone intimate. If you and your buddy are that intimate, then you better hope one of you is cooking breakfast in the morning for the other.
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Old 04-15-2004, 08:46 PM   #28 (permalink)
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This is a very funny thread. I'm not sure why straight men don't cuddle with other straight men but I know it should never happen...EVER. Yup, page two of the handbook.
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Old 04-15-2004, 09:22 PM   #29 (permalink)
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nothing wrong with a man-cuddle....so long as there are no wandering hands
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Old 04-15-2004, 10:29 PM   #30 (permalink)
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hugging and cuddling are two seperate things.
"Hey man, you look like you want to cuddle. Come over here, big boy!"
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Old 04-16-2004, 12:26 AM   #31 (permalink)
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I've never cuddled with another man, but now that I think about it....

I like to cuddle. I like to cuddle with women because they smell nice. I like to cuddle with women because they are soft.

Following that train of thought....

I guess it would be alright to cuddle with a chubby man who smells nice. Although it would be difficult to deal with "problems" caused by "friction," but I guess the idea of two chubby guys cuddling probably helps that. So, yeah, I'd have no problem cuddling with a pleasingly aromatic chubby guy as long as he bought me dinner beforehand, right??? right???
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Old 04-16-2004, 12:57 AM   #32 (permalink)
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You know...

I have to admit. This is the strangest question we have ever had in Sexuality.
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Old 04-16-2004, 01:13 AM   #33 (permalink)
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I have to admit. This is the strangest question we have ever had in Sexuality.
Nah, "How long till you can pee on a girl ?" is, no doubt about it.
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Old 04-16-2004, 04:07 AM   #34 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrFlux
Nah, "How long till you can pee on a girl ?" is, no doubt about it.
Yep that one was cool too - I wonder if the one who posted that was as drunk as I was when I came up with this one
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Old 04-16-2004, 05:16 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Being a guy, guys usually smell disgusting. Besides that, it's plainly a social stigma.
For me, I'm a bit standoffish. I'm only comfortable with my wife and child entering my personal space. My son is hugs and playing around. My wife for more intimate issues. Sex, consoling, etc
Hell, even hugging your male child has a social stigma in some circles. My father and grandfather never hugged us kids. It was a handshake at most.
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Old 04-16-2004, 08:12 AM   #36 (permalink)
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Guthmund- you completely cracked me up with your whole chubby guys cuddling thing.

Why do all you guys think other guys stink? My husband smells good! Why would girls cuddle with guys if they all stink? Now the softness issue is one I can understand, but not the stink issue.

And for the record- I have cuddled intimately with a girl and a guy and like it both ways. I do recall actually saying to the girl "you are so soft and smooth".
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Old 04-16-2004, 08:38 AM   #37 (permalink)
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I hug my firends, nobody sees anything wrong with it. Sometimes it's a one arm hug, sometimes it's a big bear hug, but nobody ever wonders if I might be gay. It's just another way of being close to your friends. Sitting on a couch, leaning on each other, sutff like that, nobody does. Most people wouldn't be comfortable with it, and although it wouldn't bother me, close physical contact with male friends has no appeal, and doesn't convey anything that can't can't be shown with a big bear hug and some kind words. The only practical application I could think of would be sharing body heat, and a huddle of three or four people is more effective if we can't get inside for some reason.

I guess it jsut isn't really necessary.
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Old 04-16-2004, 04:44 PM   #38 (permalink)
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I can see where guys might have a problem cuddling...straight guys especially.

But what I really don't understand is a couple of guys going to see a movie and sitting apart from one another, I mean intentionally leaving a chair empty between them, just so they wouldn't look like a couple. And then they talk over that empty chair and that's supposed to look "normal" and convenient.
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Old 04-16-2004, 05:17 PM   #39 (permalink)
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To answer your original question:

Because It's Gay.

But what I really don't understand is a couple of guys going to see a movie and sitting apart from one another, I mean intentionally leaving a chair empty between them, just so they wouldn't look like a couple.

Well if it's a really empty theater you could say its for a little extra room...a little Ball room you could say.

Although...I would never separate a good friend of mine like that.

/mebeingahotbloodedheterosexualandall.
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Old 04-17-2004, 07:13 AM   #40 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Untitled
Do straight women cuddle with their straight friends?
Yes- in fact, I see this on a regular basis. Very common.

Quote:
Originally posted by The Original King
I have to admit. This is the strangest question we have ever had in Sexuality.
Quote:
Originally posted by MrFlux
Nah, "How long till you can pee on a girl ?" is, no doubt about it.
I think I agree, that was.... well, that was pretty weird.
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