i dont even like other people to touch me. I just wouldnt want to its hard to rationalise

Im striaght and i cuddle with my girlfriends. ive been known to cuddle with my guy friends as well. its comforting and securing and i feel guys maintain that through different avenues.

Hmm. Thinking back to the last time I did this...

All 3 of us where pretty big guys. The largest is 6'6" and 250 to 280 lbs depending on the season. Having the extra elbow room was the main reason.

This thread reminds me of when I was little and watching the Olympics, "Mommy, why are those Russian guys kissing?"

I love hugs. Girls, guys, shemales, whatever. But I have never cuddled. I haven't had a girlfriend long enough for that, but I came close with a friend that was crying over his grandpa dying.

I've never cuddled with a guy before, but I am not against it. But all of us would be hard pressed to find another straight guy that would be ok with that. Homophobia is a basic foundation of the straight male social script.

There was a time that I infiltrated a high-testosterone group of guys, and after about two years, I got them on the hugging level. But they found out I was bi when I went to college, so they stopped hugging me. That hurt.

Never, EVVVER underestimate the homophobia of American guys. I was talking in the music lounge about the practical considerations of an orgy, and a guy said, "The biggest problem would be you're bound to make eye contact with another guy, and then your boner dies."

AHHHHHHH!!!

It never ceases to crack my ass up when a guy's world falls apart if someone even hints at them being a peter puffer. Guys call each other fags, because they know that the word cuts deep in a guys self-image.

In one of my psyche classes, the teacher said that a study was done over really homophobic men. When they were shown gay porn, they were disgusted, yet they were also getting a rise from it.

Damn this is a long post, but I have an anecdote. I was hired to work at a band camp in BFE. And the last thing I expected out of this farm community was guys hugging and touching left and right. I even told one of the students how the guys there completely contradicted my expectations of such a seemingly-macho social pool.

I agree that it is blue mud. It's just the way the pieces fell together in America.

To quote the all-wise Laurence,

"No. No, man. Shit, no, man."

I suppose any difference of opinion here is not over wether straight men ought to cuddle or not, but the definition of a cuddle. I see a cuddle as being intimate. It happens when reclined, or at least sitting. It involves most of the available contact area between your bodies being pressed together. Personally, I don't do that to anybody but my significant other.

Because I'm straight, I don't have any interest in men, and therefore would never cuddle with them, that simple. Not engaging in homosexual activities does not a homophobe make.

And not to thread jack this, but

I haven't seen anyone seriously posting "Cuddling is teh gayz, LOL FAGZ." I hardly am a unique person, there are thousands just like me everywhere I go. I don't show different affection to guy or girl friends. If anything, I show the girls less (I'm shy).

That said, why is it perfectly acceptable to be bisexual or homosexual, but not OK to be heterosexual? Going out on a limb, I know. But that one guy seemed disgusted that a guy he was talking to didn't want to be in an orgy because he found the site of other naked men to be a serious turn-off. Was that wrong? Did the guy then wax poetic about how how the bi-s will dig the graves to bury the homos in before it's their turn against the wall when his revolution hits, or did he simply state his personal aversion to men? To give the poor old horse one more kick, does he not have the same right to his orientation/preference that you do?

I find that, in general, all Americans are just not a touchy kind of people. Except for our closest friends, contact is kept to a bare minimum. Even hand shakes last less than three shakes, usually. That applies evenly to the guys and girls, in my experience.

How many women would be turned off by making eye contact with another woman? It isn't a matter of sexuality, it's a matter of comfort. Straight guys have virtually zero comfort level, because their heterosexuality is perceived as being fragile, when it is not.

As Jesus once said, "dude, chill the fuck out."

I think it's all a matter of socialization. The social mores that dictate acceptable gender based behaviors differ across cultures, thus the level of acceptable physical interaction between men as opposed to physical interaction between women differs from culture to culture. From an early age, the majority of us are taught that we are to act a certain way, dependant on what sex organs we possess at birth. Because of this, if we exhibit behaviors that are not consistent with our "assigned" gender roles, these behaviors are considered devient.

So with that said, would I cuddle another guy? Not like I would cuddle with a female. Give someone a hug? By all means. If they need a hug, shoulder to cry on, squeeze on the shoulder, or just an ear to listen to, theyll get one. I'm not one to place my self-image over compassion for others.

edited for slight rewording...the sociology final I'm studying for has fried my brain.....

In my cricle of friends, there's more ass and man boob grabbing than hugging between males.

this is one of the most interesting threads i have ever read... but i would have to agree and say cuddling just isnt a male form of expression, its a high five or something like that... i mean there are only certain greetings you do with your close friends... its all relitive

You know what I always say, theres nothing wrong with spooning.

Haven't you seen Friends???? If they can do it (and enjoy it), any guy can....;)

It's too sensual and personal..
The touching, the smells..

Even sexuality aside, it's not something I would like to 'share' with any male. It would just be really really really weird.

i'm so disturbed by the question that I almost cant answer...

I'm by far not a homophobe.. but the most contact I will ever share with another male is a hug and it's a different kind of hug from what you give a girl.. and it's a hug reserved for the closest of friends and family....

It's definitive... straight men don't cuddle with straight men because they're straight. That's a fundamental differentiation between straight and gay.

LMAO @ this thread. the image of a guy cuddling with his best friend.....yeah i'm gonna leave that one alone.....

LMAO! :D

I am a heterosexual male and have had the same best friend for 25yrs. We can tell each other we love each other and hug.

We call each other fags on a daily basis and when I come through the door, (I am staying with him for the time being) I am greeted with a warm middle finger.

We have a healthy male relationship. I would never conceive it weird to sleep in the same bed if we had to as we have. And do we cuddle? No not because we think its gay but its just not necessary! We have no need to show this lvl of intimacy.

Guys in general can say how the feel about each other with the actions the show.
Men don't backstab their close friends they don't diss them when they aren't around and they tend to hold onto their friendships for yrs as it means something to them.
The intimacy lies in the closeness they share as a whole not a physical touch or shared moment of cuddling! (Which to me sounds more silly than gay!)
My closest friends have been so for years and I hope will be that way for years more. But I don't feel the need to show or share that by curling up to them on the couch to watch the Rundown!
Or curl up and talk about the Hockey playoffs when it’s cold outside.
(even if he is a chubby nice smelling male lmao!)

Btw, I am a well-taken care of male work out and play allot of sports. I remove allot of my body hair as I think its gross and I smell very good if I say so my self as I do use nice soaps and body sprays for the ladies. And I still don't think another male would want to cuddle with me so saying its because " men are hairy and smelly! ~" Doesn’t make sense either.

Two straight men cuddling would be considered a homosexual activity. That's why you never see two straight men cuddling.

...cos its icky, just WRONG

Lol, you got that right. Talk about funny, you've never seen funny until you've seen 50 Marines huddling together, packed as close together as they can get to keep warm........and every single one of them about as homophobic as it gets.

I don't get this thread. I am a straight male with 2 best friends that are both straight. We hug all the time. Well hang on one another if were lounging around watch tv or something. We're not gay we close friends and we show each other affection to let each other know we ove the other not because we want to bone the other. And if one or even both some how turned out gay one day it wouldn't stop. We're like brothers

---------- Post added at 12:26 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:21 PM ----------

Another thing. This is a friend. I body build and had a contest and could getting in some where to get a body waxing before the show. One of my best friends did it for me. Now if I can't hung a friend that loves me enough to stretch the skin on my crack and groin and rip the hair out with hot wax on it what kind of friend am I

Hugging is not cuddling. It is okay nowadays for straight men to hug each, which was
not true in 80's when I grew up.
Straight men don't cuddle because they are straight, period.

Great question, great thread.

JESUS CHRIST! Six years later...it's still not happening!!! Nuh uh... never.

That just sounds weird. :D

"Hey Jim grab that pouch of redman and a couple of beers we've got some football to watch and an evening of cuddling to do."

Listen if I'm going to get all uncomfortably wrapped up with somebody else there better be more gratification then just a little human contact or old Jim can have the other end of the sofa and he better keep his dirty hands off my chew.

Really though I see absolutely nothing appealing on any level what so ever about cuddling up with my grubby ass friends. God damn the BO alone would be inhuman...just no.

It's interesting to note that other cultures have no issue with this. There are Indian men here that I see holding hands and, for all intents and purposes, cuddling. And yes, they are straight.

Hmmm, I wonder, does he still think so, after all this years?

My husband's take: "If I'm not going to get laid, why would I cuddle?"

My first time to Zimbabwe, traveling on a humanitarian mission, I had the leader of one of the bush villages hold my hand as we walked around and he introduced me to everyone. It was sort of uncomfortable at first but then I realized that a lot of men there hold hands with each other. In Morocco the men would play soccer on the beach and then lounge around on blankets afterward and smoke cigarettes. They would lay their head on each other's chests or put their arms on each other. Not that any of that is considered cuddling but it does illustrate how man on man contact is a cultural thing.

Personally, I may hug a guy. But to me, intimate hugging/cuddling is reserved for my S/O. Also, I must say that the multicultural aspect of this interests me. How in north America two men holding hands is considered gay and out of the ordinary.

Yet I talk to a friend who just came back from India and it's considered quite the opposite. Men are frequently holding hands and hugging, yet if women do, they are branded lesbians and treated (by some) unfairly. An odd, odd, yet very fascinating world(society) we live in.

Edit; as an addendum; Cuddling to me is as much psychological as it is physical. I consider it very sensual, and just as much a part of sex as foreplay and orgasm. alas, not something I do with brethren of mine. I talk, and share feelings, but that's where it ends.

Long ago I had done it with rare friends. But IMHO the way I cuddle a girl is way different from this. Today I cant imagine cuddling any male no matter how close we are...

it's quite normal to see men holding hands in the middle east as well as south asia.

because ive lived most of my life in the west, i still find it difficult to do, and im uncomfortable doing it. however i understand why its done and the reasons really have nothing to do with sexuality.

i think that in the middle east at least, the lack of personal contact with women (ie. hugging etc) could be a reason why men are seen to be more affectionate with each other.

it's just not normal, there's alot of psychology in this answer that i cant really explain without writing a few pages about

"Normal"? That's a term that makes me wonder if you just got out of high school. "Normal" in my neighborhood includes lesbian and gay couples taking their kids to the ice cream store, Middle Eastern men holding hands while their families walk to the mosque behind them and sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with lots of folks on a train or bus.

"Normal" is a term I despise since there's no such thing.

I'm with Jazz on this one.

Because there's too many women to cuddle first.

Once I have finished cuddling all the available women...in the entire world...then I will consider cuddling another man.

Hey, I'm open minded that way...

While pledging, my line brothers and I slept in un-heated basements in middle of winter. We slept only in our hoodies, and I could remember this one instance: We were in New England and finally allowed to bed down around 2 or 3 am after an intense night of getting smoked. I was sleeping next to one of my very, very close pledge brothers, and throughout the night I would keep waking up because I was so cold. I remember an intense desire to cuddle with him to share our body warmth, but decided against it because, well, it would be gay.

He later admitted too that he wanted to cuddle, but, I think, out of respect for each other, we didn't want to put each other in the awkward position of "Dude, WTF you doing?"

Is the answer "stubble"?

I wouldn't call it cuddling, but if me an one of my boys are on the couch watching tv we'll hang on one another. Its not gay or anything. We're just very close.

Why would i cuddle with my guy friends? Ewww lol i dont swing that way. I mean i could give them a pat on the back to comfort them in bad times but thats it in terms of physical contact.

Ok, I have even tried cock a few times when I was young but I would never cuddle with a man. LOL