Am I cursed or What? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

thespian86 · 03-31-2004, 05:47 PM

All my life I have been friends with lots of girls because I'm the "Nice Guy" you always here about. The fact is, after my last relationshoip which left my in a pretty deep state of self pity, I have emerged and want to start dating again. The thing is... I CAN'T GET A DATE!

I'm at the point in my life where I'm looking for a life partner and even though I believed that my last girlfriend was, I was wrong. What's wrong with me. I'm not bad looking, I'm in a fairly successful band and play football while keeping good marks. I can't understand it. Some help please?

Thanks

Punk Music Fan, The over sensitive guy

insidious_machinae · 03-31-2004, 05:50 PM

This message has been deleted.

skysooner · 03-31-2004, 05:55 PM

I had the same problem for a long time near the end of college. I was too old to be hanging out at bars all the time, and I was busy with lab work all the time. I finally met my wife almost accidentally when I was least expecting it.

Homey_V · 03-31-2004, 06:01 PM

Just be patient and dont try too hard. Good things happen to those who are patient.

It seems like empty words, but I was in a similar sitution as yours, maybe not as bad, but my girlfriend found me, and I couldnt be happier

WarWagon · 03-31-2004, 06:13 PM

Believe me, I'm in the exact same boat as you. I'm going to try as hard as possible to not live in the past, and to go and party my ass off as much as possible.

03-31-2004, 07:43 PM

I can't tell you much more than what everyone else has already said, but they are all right. Things come when you're least expecting them, and they're worth waiting for.

Johnny Rotten · 03-31-2004, 10:06 PM

Don't go looking for a life mate before you're out of school. Things get way different once you get out into the working world. Get your degree, get your career started, then go hunting. That way, you won't start getting serious with someone, then get a job offer on the other side of the country.

The other thing is that women can be very very good at judging your intentions. If you have the vibe of looking for a life partner, which is pretty much the "looking for wife" vibe, they probably smell it from a mile off and shy away. Don't get the itch to hitch just yet, or else you'll be kicking yourself on down the road because you weren't busy getting your groove on when you were young and single.

jay-g · 03-31-2004, 10:07 PM

I think every guy goes through a phase like yours. Unless, your a Rico Suave pimp daddy. Dont sweat it too much, thats probably the last of your worries. Now if you are 50, and you still have the same problem. Then i would start getting stressed, and be like wtf....

bermuDa · 04-01-2004, 09:44 AM

just don't start listening to emo, your enhanced sensitivity will destroy you

Skettios · 04-01-2004, 10:26 AM

LOL BermuDa... beware of emo at all times.

I've never cried so hard in the pit!

Seriously Punk, I'm in the same boat too. I've just tried to preoccupy myself with having a little fun.

lisa · 04-01-2004, 10:29 AM

Isn't this what the Getting Girls 101-thread is all about ???
I've never read it but it seems like a good place to look for advice!

Good luck though!

Rodney · 04-01-2004, 12:22 PM

Like everyone else said -- it'll come, and it'll come sooner if you're not obsessing over it.

It's kind of like looking for work. If you're desperate, the employer can sense it and may not trust what you say, because as far as he/she knows you might say anything to get the job. But if you're self-assured and only interested in the job if it's a good fit for you and the employer, then the employer will be much more willing to believe you, and believe in you.

So concentrate on the rest of your life and on keeping it satisfying. If you're fulfilled, sooner or later some woman's going to come along who finds you fulfilling.

thespian86 · 04-02-2004, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bermuDa
just don't start listening to emo, your enhanced sensitivity will destroy you

I already do my friend, I already do

Forsaken · 04-02-2004, 11:49 AM

Lots of great advice. I have a similar story.... Never got the girl in highschool or college, was always told that I was the type of guy a girl wants to marry but not datel. WTF! Anyway after I had decided to stop looking and just have fun it happened... She just showed up one night with a friend of hers who was comming up to see a friend of mine. Our friends are not dating any longer (it ended after 3 months) but Tuesday will be 2 years for us and things are going great. I know it sux but once you find someone the wait will be worth it.

Nisses · 04-02-2004, 03:40 PM

lisa: the getting girls 101 thread is about picking up random girls at bars mostly.

About getting in a girl's pants really.

Not what he's looking for, apparently he wants to find a partner that will last. Locking yourself away won't help in this case, but just picking somebody up at a bar generally doesn't do much for a good connection with a person, other than physical attraction. Although you can always luck out

And really, that thread is 80% ripped off from sites you can find only anyway. (ok, it's probably based on those sites, and actually put to practice before posting it here.)

If there's anything I could advise here, it's not to get frustrated about the dating itself. Go to social gatherings or hobbies that have alot of social contact. Just be relax, talk to girls you meet there, and start off with a simple suggestion to go get a cup of coffee together or something similar. Don't pressure yourself, you'll only get more annoyed and that would scare people away imho

kel · 04-02-2004, 05:11 PM

It will come to you straight out of left field. And when it does it will be awesome. It just did to me and until six months ago I lived in all male institutions my whole life.

thespian86 · 04-03-2004, 06:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by kel
It will come to you straight out of left field. And when it does it will be awesome.

when I read that I pictured a woman come running out of the left field at a base ball game with a sign that says "Looking for a boy friend!"

Quote:

Originally posted by Nisses
lisa: the getting girls 101 thread is about picking up random girls at bars mostly.

About getting in a girl's pants really.

Not what he's looking for, apparently he wants to find a partner that will last. Locking yourself away won't help in this case, but just picking somebody up at a bar generally doesn't do much for a good connection with a person, other than physical attraction. Although you can always luck out

And really, that thread is 80% ripped off from sites you can find only anyway. (ok, it's probably based on those sites, and actually put to practice before posting it here.)

If there's anything I could advise here, it's not to get frustrated about the dating itself. Go to social gatherings or hobbies that have alot of social contact. Just be relax, talk to girls you meet there, and start off with a simple suggestion to go get a cup of coffee together or something similar. Don't pressure yourself, you'll only get more annoyed and that would scare people away imho

Nisses, your great. It's true, that is about, pretty much, getting laid and the truth is it's all good and fun but it kind of leaves you empty. The thing is, i just did that for two months out of spite and I relised it was hurting me more then it was hurting her...

Thanks for the advice gals and guys!

Nisses · 04-03-2004, 06:35 AM

Quote:

when I read that I pictured a woman come running out of the left field at a base ball game with a sign that says "Looking for a boy friend!"

Beefimator · 04-04-2004, 11:38 AM

I think all you have to do is be yourself, and dare I say it...RELAX man. I'm sure you have already heard this before, but if you look to hard, you may miss what is right in front of you.

03-31-2004, 05:47 PM	#1 (permalink)
thespian86 change is hard. Location: the green room.	Am I cursed or What? All my life I have been friends with lots of girls because I'm the "Nice Guy" you always here about. The fact is, after my last relationshoip which left my in a pretty deep state of self pity, I have emerged and want to start dating again. The thing is... I CAN'T GET A DATE! I'm at the point in my life where I'm looking for a life partner and even though I believed that my last girlfriend was, I was wrong. What's wrong with me. I'm not bad looking, I'm in a fairly successful band and play football while keeping good marks. I can't understand it. Some help please? Thanks Punk Music Fan, The over sensitive guy __________________ EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much.

03-31-2004, 05:50 PM	#2 (permalink)
insidious_machinae Psycho	This message has been deleted. Last edited by insidious_machinae; 03-20-2010 at 11:00 AM..

03-31-2004, 06:01 PM	#4 (permalink)
Homey_V Psycho Location: Canada	Just be patient and dont try too hard. Good things happen to those who are patient. It seems like empty words, but I was in a similar sitution as yours, maybe not as bad, but my girlfriend found me, and I couldnt be happier __________________ You did what with a duck?

03-31-2004, 10:06 PM	#7 (permalink)
Johnny Rotten lost and found Location: Berkeley	Don't go looking for a life mate before you're out of school. Things get way different once you get out into the working world. Get your degree, get your career started, then go hunting. That way, you won't start getting serious with someone, then get a job offer on the other side of the country. The other thing is that women can be very very good at judging your intentions. If you have the vibe of looking for a life partner, which is pretty much the "looking for wife" vibe, they probably smell it from a mile off and shy away. Don't get the itch to hitch just yet, or else you'll be kicking yourself on down the road because you weren't busy getting your groove on when you were young and single. __________________ "The idea that money doesn't buy you happiness is a lie put about by the rich, to stop the poor from killing them." -- Michael Caine

04-01-2004, 09:44 AM	#9 (permalink)
bermuDa don't ignore this--> Location: CA	just don't start listening to emo, your enhanced sensitivity will destroy you __________________ I am the very model of a moderator gentleman.

03-31-2004, 05:55 PM	#3 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	I had the same problem for a long time near the end of college. I was too old to be hanging out at bars all the time, and I was busy with lab work all the time. I finally met my wife almost accidentally when I was least expecting it.

03-31-2004, 06:13 PM	#5 (permalink)
WarWagon Loser	Believe me, I'm in the exact same boat as you. I'm going to try as hard as possible to not live in the past, and to go and party my ass off as much as possible.

03-31-2004, 07:43 PM	#6 (permalink)
Untitled Guest	I can't tell you much more than what everyone else has already said, but they are all right. Things come when you're least expecting them, and they're worth waiting for.

03-31-2004, 10:07 PM	#8 (permalink)
jay-g Addict	I think every guy goes through a phase like yours. Unless, your a Rico Suave pimp daddy. Dont sweat it too much, thats probably the last of your worries. Now if you are 50, and you still have the same problem. Then i would start getting stressed, and be like wtf....

04-01-2004, 10:26 AM	#10 (permalink)
Skettios Condition: Stable and Improving Location: Finger on the little red button.	LOL BermuDa... beware of emo at all times. I've never cried so hard in the pit! Seriously Punk, I'm in the same boat too. I've just tried to preoccupy myself with having a little fun. __________________ Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies. Frederich Nietzsche

04-01-2004, 10:29 AM	#11 (permalink)
lisa Crazy Location: belgium	Isn't this what the Getting Girls 101-thread is all about ??? I've never read it but it seems like a good place to look for advice! Good luck though!

04-01-2004, 12:22 PM	#12 (permalink)
Rodney Observant Ruminant Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town	Like everyone else said -- it'll come, and it'll come sooner if you're not obsessing over it. It's kind of like looking for work. If you're desperate, the employer can sense it and may not trust what you say, because as far as he/she knows you might say anything to get the job. But if you're self-assured and only interested in the job if it's a good fit for you and the employer, then the employer will be much more willing to believe you, and believe in you. So concentrate on the rest of your life and on keeping it satisfying. If you're fulfilled, sooner or later some woman's going to come along who finds you fulfilling.

04-02-2004, 11:49 AM	#14 (permalink)
Forsaken Upright	Lots of great advice. I have a similar story.... Never got the girl in highschool or college, was always told that I was the type of guy a girl wants to marry but not datel. WTF! Anyway after I had decided to stop looking and just have fun it happened... She just showed up one night with a friend of hers who was comming up to see a friend of mine. Our friends are not dating any longer (it ended after 3 months) but Tuesday will be 2 years for us and things are going great. I know it sux but once you find someone the wait will be worth it.

04-02-2004, 03:40 PM	#15 (permalink)
Nisses Shade Location: Belgium	lisa: the getting girls 101 thread is about picking up random girls at bars mostly. About getting in a girl's pants really. Not what he's looking for, apparently he wants to find a partner that will last. Locking yourself away won't help in this case, but just picking somebody up at a bar generally doesn't do much for a good connection with a person, other than physical attraction. Although you can always luck out And really, that thread is 80% ripped off from sites you can find only anyway. (ok, it's probably based on those sites, and actually put to practice before posting it here.) If there's anything I could advise here, it's not to get frustrated about the dating itself. Go to social gatherings or hobbies that have alot of social contact. Just be relax, talk to girls you meet there, and start off with a simple suggestion to go get a cup of coffee together or something similar. Don't pressure yourself, you'll only get more annoyed and that would scare people away imho __________________ Moderation should be moderately moderated.

04-02-2004, 05:11 PM	#16 (permalink)
kel WARNING: FLAMMABLE Location: Ask Acetylene	It will come to you straight out of left field. And when it does it will be awesome. It just did to me and until six months ago I lived in all male institutions my whole life. __________________ "It better be funny"

04-04-2004, 11:38 AM	#19 (permalink)
Beefimator Tilted Location: Philly 'Burbs	I think all you have to do is be yourself, and dare I say it...RELAX man. I'm sure you have already heard this before, but if you look to hard, you may miss what is right in front of you.