SAM821

Ok... I may contradict myself a bit here, but there is going to be a reason for it...

I met this girl... long story short; I told her i wasnt looking for anything right now, but if something happens then it happens (you know how it goes) well, I have been talking to her for a bit now, and little by little i am becoming more attracted to her... Yesterday, I find out that she has made out with girls on "several occasions" so i asked her if she was bisexual, she said no, that she would never sleep with another girl UNLESS it was with her boyfriend (threesome) ... which raises my eyebrows (and my morality question).

Can a girl who is into Bisexual acts be good relationship material? a good wife? an Honest wife? (and the key: Someone to bring home to your mother?) Would it be a normal relationship???

Basically i feel that someone that wild with their sexuality isnt someone who would make a good girlfriend/wife material for ME (in my opinion)... But maybe thats because ive never been exposed to someone like that (personally)

I mean, If i want to have fun, shit, this is perfect! (i told you I would contradict myself) But to settle down with someone thats into that, (not that i have anything against it) I dont know if she would be right the settle down with...

Ok... well tell me what you guys (and girls) think? Am I blowing it out of proportion here? Should I just have fun and the hell with it? Im not really sure how to approach this... (kinda a double-edged sword in a way)

Eugeni

I wouldn't worry at all about her having kissed other girls. She just may be sexual, and I think that is definitely good to settle down with if you are the guy.

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Dixie

Everyone's entitled to their opinion in this particular ball game, but personally I think you are blowing it out of proportion. Most women have been curious about other women and most have been attracted to another woman at some point, be it sexually or otherwise.
Unfortunately, a lot of women feel that this is something to be ashamed of (like female masturbation), so they keep it under wraps. A woman who is willing to explore that side of herself shows a lot of charisma and strength, I think, and I dare say would make as good of a wife, or better.

I don't think that her experiences with the same sex are any reflection of her morality, but I could be bias. I'd like to think that I'm a good girl to bring home to the parents and I have been with other girls in a number of ways.

Not to mention that she will probably grow out of it. If she's not bi, then she is probably going through an experimental stage, but she obviously prefers men, so it'll pass.

And, just out of curiosity, how old are you Sam? You seem pretty eager to tie the knot.

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StormBerlin

My opinion on this is that she was only acting like that because she was single. If you and her ever date exclusively, I don't think she would run around making out with random women. If it makes you uncomfortable, don't date her.

Are you looking for someone to marry specifically? Or are you just looking to date? Or will the dating maybe turn into marriage? Thats all the stuff you get to decide before you get attracted to a girl. Just my two cents.

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irateplatypus

i wouldn't let any bi-experimentation be too big of an obstacle. we've all done crazy things... some we've regretted, some we haven't. she has dabbled a bit with lesbian tendencies, yet she still is interested in guys.

what concerns me most is that she would have a three-some with you and another girl. this is just my own personal opinion talking, but a person who will share their lover with someone else may not have a similar view of what part sexual relationships play in a state of commitment between two people.

she probably realizes that this may be counted as a strike against her in your books. give her points for being upfront and honest with you.

but, that is just my own two cents...

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skysooner

The only big issue with bisexuality is if she is doing it for the wrong reasons (i.e. childhood abuse, alcoholism). If so, she will have other self-destructive behaviors on top of that. Personally I think that her view of sexuality is refreshing. A person isn't just untrustworthy in their sexual life unless they are generally untrustworthy. If she is an honorable person there is nothing to worry about. If you have any worries about it, talk to Ratbastid or Lurkette or just read their posts.

SAM821

Im 22.... Im not eager to tie the not, I just dont like to waste my time in dating someone that i dont think would be good "material" for me... I guess ive always been that way

im not looking to get married... not for a while... but i guess i am looking for someone by my side...

SAM821

thats what im talking about... and the reason why i say it could be a double edge sword. On one side, i could just have fun and not take it serious... But on the other I could fall for her and well, is she gonna hold a strong sense of commitment, its such a delicate subject/situation... but hey, time will tell...

Kurant

She's into women. She she'd only sleep with a woman if her boyfriend was involved. Your not after marriage. Your 22.

I'm confused, what's the problem?

The only delicate "situation" is finding another chick to bring home to her.

Ease up man, have a little fun with it. Your 22, life has just begun. Trust me when I say that. You could have one HELL of a time.

raeanna74

If she says she is not bi-sexual then she's is most likely just enjoying experimenting. Judging from your age she is probably just as young. At this point she may still be learning about her sexuality a lot and this is only a stage.

Personally from my own experience. I believe I am a good mother, wife, and worker. I have my own business, take care of multiple children daily, and take care of my responsibilities. I am bi-sexual. I don't run around on hubby. Any sexual relations that either one of us have, the other partner KNOWS and is involved. I don't think about sex 24/7. I'm just open. One big reason that I enjoy the same sex experiences is because I know hubby enjoys participating or watching. This may be the case for her. I don't think your sexual preferences make or break you as a responsible person or good mate.

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2kids1headache

Right on. I think that you're worried she's going to run around on you with the same sex, thinking that it "means less" if she sleeps with other women. If she cares about you and you've made it clear that you wouldn't appreciate that, then she won't.

If you like her, trust her a bit. I'm not tellin' ya to run off to Las Vegas with her, just that you should give her a chance based on her personality rather than on past sexual experimenting.

skysooner

Rae and 2kids said it better than I could. That was what I was getting at in my earlier post.

kutulu

Most people want a chance for something like that their whole lives. Go for it or you'll regret it. You're only 22.

SAM821

thanks guys for all the great advice... yea maybe i am looking way too into things... Ive already expressed to her that i wasnt looking for anything serious... im just letting things happen... I think i should just stick to that, and have fun first... and let things happen naturally....

yea, i think i just needed a little slap in the face to wake up and realize the opportunity i have at hand... anyways she wants to chill tonight... one step at a time

i'll keep you posted