Things I hate about porno's
 

#1 – Why do the girls spend so much time sucking on dildo’s in a G-G scene? I could understand a little to tease your male partner, hell I had a gf do that to a straw while we were out to dinner with her mother and yea it was pretty sexy, but moaning while you suck latex is just stupid.

#2 – Someone explain how feet are so sexy to people. I don’t understand a foot fetish in any way. I can understand furies easier then a foot fetish, and I think most furies are pretty nuts. Why almost every porno has someone licking someone’s shoes/boots is something I will never understand.

#3 – Spitting. What’s with the spitting. Hey, I love your vagina, let me hork a lugi into it! Its disgusting, and if they can’t get wet then put a little vitamin-e oil down there. Its not like that need to keep the scene seamless, when is the last time you saw them put on the condom, or take off all their clothes. How hard would it be to rub a little lube? I conclude that some people find that sexy, or they wouldn’t be doing it. Those people are disgusting.

#4 – Porn stardom. Ok, some girls in porn are pretty hot and all, but after I’ve seen them get fucked a dozen times, that’s it, I’m done. I don’t need to see them ever again, I want something new. This goes double for guys. I’m not bisexual, but even I get sick of seeing the same fucking guys in 80% of the porno’s. I could understand finding hot women tricky (but still based on the number on the titty board, it can’t be that hard) but guys should be a dime a dozen, most of them aren’t even that good looking nor that ‘big’. Now they say a lot of men have a hard time getting hard on the set and that’s fine, but since all the male porn ‘stars’ are whining about how viagra has made it easy for anyone to be a porn star, I expect to see more then just Randy Spears and 4 other guys.

#5 – Bad boob jobs. This might be a news flash, but scars are NOT sexy on a woman’s tits. Your oversized, often misshapen, painfully turgid breasts are not sexy, and they are even less sexy with a big ass scar. If you can’t afford a good boob job, don’t do it!

Add your own to the list!

Hotel Porn. Wat is the point of porn if you are going to cut out all the nauhty bits? Freakin pointless.

The music. How am I supposed to be turned on if I'm laughing hysterically about the music.

*A bucka chicka wao wao*

1. Really long, fake blond hair.

Few people in real life have hair that long. Give them normal, but stylish haircuts, please!

2.Housewives, schoolgirls, nuns, etc.. with tattoos

3. Must everyone be clean shaven?

4. Moaning at inappropriate times.

More realistic is better.

My wife does :P

I forgot that one. Must everyone have huge ass tatoos? I think it might be a requirement for the guys now.

Yes they must.

when my roommate comes in while I am watching one... I mean, come on people, a little privacy please. Sure it may be his room and sure it may be his TV. But still...

Actually, I have to go with the clean shaven. Clean shaven is nice from time to time. But a little hair can go a long way.

I think natural breasts are the best:) They are making a cumback..I think?? Even if the persons breasts are not "big", a bad boob job is much worse!!!

Horrible sound levels. Sure, the dialog sucks, but could you at least say the words clearly and point the microphone at the "actors"?

The quick cuts in the middle of a sex scene. I'd rather watch them get into a new position, or see the clothes come off.

Poorly spliced sex scenes, where you see the same bit happen twice, or clothes suddenly reappear on a person after they have been taken off.

I hate when the overdub other people moaning. That is annoying. How is the girl supposed to make some obnoxious moan when she's deep throating?

I hate in in lesbian porn, when the pics consist of "fake licking". Its like they're not even enjoying what they're doing, just doing it cuz guys think it's hot. Makes me not want to watch it.
Just lick her for real already! :D

Ditto that. Anything more than a trimmed patch on a woman, and/or, bushy nasty man, is turnoff.
moreso with the woman tho, cos I like to imagine...things :p

Anyways...there was a similar thread long ago, and I said my big pet peeve is when it looks like it might be anal, but I'm just really not sure. hates that.

fun thread. :)

I hate it when the girl looks into the camera during a blow job. It totally destroys the fourth wall, which is so very important in a porno flick.

Fetishes develop over time, usually when someone experiences an intense or influencial sexual event in which a non-sexual object/action is the point of their attention at the time. Beyond this experience, they then masturbate with the object/action on their mind, relating their sexual experience with it. It's just like classical conditioning.

It's the formula of it all.

Blowjob
Cunnilingus
Three Positions
Facial

Blowjob
Cunnilingus
Three Positions
Facial

Blowjob
Cunnilingus
Three Positions
Anal
Facial
(Notice the difference there? Aren't we clever!)

Blowjob
Cunnilingus
Three Positions
Facial

Congratulations! You just won the AVN Feature of the Year award! :rolleyes:

my pet peeves:
-too much anal, because i personally don't like it
-leaving on socks/shoes
-bad audio, dubbing or inaudible speech
-positions that are anatomically impossible in skinamax porn
-not enough storyline with poor acting-- i love movies with good believable storylines that are well acted, tell me why these people are f'ing, it makes it hotter, i'll take slightly less hot girls if they make me want to see them f or better actors with smaller junk
-i don't like seeing 14" dicks all the time, how bout some more guys with just above average sized dicks in there

I hate it when the men slap the women and call them slut or bitch. Not. Cool.

There actually isnt a lot I liked about the porno's Ive seen. The idea of it starts out sexy, and then it just all bodies everywhere, and its just a mess.

Why does every movie contain a chick getting a facial?

I hate the storylines. It's a porno, just fuck already. It also makes the download times longer. I don't care about what fake situation they setup before they fuck.

The girls sucking dildos does annoy me. It's a girl/girl scene. Why would they need to simulate a blow job? Do lesbians get off on watching their gf act like she's sucking a dick?

I'd also like to see more kissing.

Don't care about shoes and socks and foot fetish things annoy me to. Unless they are doing a dp, leave the anal out also.

WHY oh why can't a girl get a guy off in a porno? Are the girls that loose or the guys just that desensitized sexually? Most pornos the guy pulls out and starts jerking off at the cumshot. HELLO!!! you have a hot girl in front of you , you don't need to do that! At least make her jerk it for the obligatory tired old facial. If I wanted to watch guys jerking off I'd get a gay bukkake or something.

More real female orgasms in porn. I mean, the porn industry has tried to legitimze their product as being educational, but I don't wanna learn from a guy who can't get a girl off!! If you gotta fake it at least try. Pertend you're buying a Louis Vitton purse at the mall with your fuck-bucks after the scene or something.

Oh yea, I'm not a big fan of anything containing one girl and more than one guy. I want a maximum penis to vagina ratio of 1:1, preferably less.

for internet porn maybe, but for a bought or rented entire movie thats "supposed" to have some sort of plot, its better if its a good one

and good point holo, they should only have the girl/guy give a courtesy tug or two so it doesn't just dribble out

I think facials are great. I like seeing them. They are even more fun to give!

A long time ago, they had to prove that the sex was not simulated, hence the pull out. Of course that evolved to the facial. Internal cumshots are making somwhat more of a comeback, but with all the risks involved, they are safer doing facials.

So sigma, are you saying you actually watch the acting scenes?

I agree, it is much sexier to see a woman really enjoying herself rather than watching her obviously fake having a good time. Real orgasms, even if they aren't flamboyant, are much better than fake ones.

How are you really supposed to tell the difference between a real and a fake orgasm anyways...

well, the point is, you can easily tell when a lot of them are fake. I guess what I am trying to say is that they need to act better if they do fake.

I blame NASCAR, Doritos, and Coors for all the stupid fake tits. I'm sick and fuckin' tired of women that can't sit up straight because they have so much plasitic in their chest.

I want a girl that is clean, natural, normal looking, actually enjoys sex and isn't doin' it just to pay for college (although that has a certain charm too), small chest, good looking feet, skinny but not too skinny... I just want your everyday run of the mill girl... fuckin' a donkey behind a 7-Eleven.

Thank you.

I agree with redlemon on about every point in his/her post.

I hate when the sound is not lined up properly to the picture.

the biggest beef i have is UGLY GIRLS!!

if the girls aren't pretty then forgettaboutit...

I hate when the chicks have pimples on their asses. Cover that with some makeup!

:lol: @ OK. :D

These have been said already, but I really hate it when girls leave their shoes on. Does anyone think it's hot when a girl is wearing nothing but a pair of high heels?!? I don't get it. I also agree about the girl on girl sucking a dildo thing. I don't get that either.

Their acting usually isn't all that good, is how. You can generally tell.

Actually, I don't think I've really seen much porn in which the woman fakes an orgasm. Usually her orgasm is sort of beside the point. Which is one of the things I hate about pornos.

For the majority of the people that posted here. A solution I may suggest...rent/buy a lower budget Japanese porn. The women and men are completely naked (i.e. no shoes, socks, shirt, etc). Most of the men are not overly well endowed, most average, and some kinda small. The women are very very seldomly augmented ( unless you get some with *stars* I think Akira Fubaki is "enhanced" ) And both people tend to get into it alot more. Most of the sound is poor quality by movie standards but at least real ( think about what you can do recording at your computer with a 50 dollar mic ). If the genitals are blurred out that means it is liscened, and if not that means "illegal underground" which are legal in the US but not to commonly made as they are illegal in Japan.

Dirty feet!!

Have to agree with the big fake boob line too.

The money shot is cool though. I don't know why, but i love watching a woman get creamed in the face.

I don't care how well endowed the guy is, if he's gross looking, I'm not going to get into it.

Also, when there's not even an attempt at a storyline...I know, it's about the sex, not the story, but a little bit of backstory would be nice...

1. All hair-and-makeup with fake breasts. Yuck. Give me the girl next
door.
2. Facials. It does nothing for me. It's just gross.
3. Men degrading women--calling them whores, sluts, bitches.
Disrespect.
4. Blowjobs that go on for more than 2 minutes.
5. Faking it.
6. The women being obviously bored with everthing thats happening to
them.
7. No kissing.

well, First off... I hate when porn is just 33 different sex scenes on one DVD.
that's boring to me.
I want a lame plot that is going to at least make me laugh.
for insance.
Alice in Pornland is a classic for me, making fun of a great title and putting some sex in it.
Now, I love a good or bad plot, and the acting that comes with it. But, i hate when I have to mess with the volumn. I don't want to turn it up to hear the dialog and then have to turn it back down because her moans are enough to wake my next door neighbor.

and, the last thing I hate is see'ing all well hung guys.
can't stand it
where are the underachievers like me?
i've always wanted someone to come out with a porn called
"Small dicks that come quick"

you could have 20 sex scenes in one regular disc where the guy doesn't take 20 minutes to get off.
If you start with a blow job, the scene is over in 5 minutes.
if you start with the guy going down, maybe a premature for giggles.

One position.
have a scene where the guy has to stop the chick from bouncing for a minute because he was going to go off after 30 seconds or 13 strokes.

i dunno, i'd find it amusing.
of course, i've always loved the blooper porns as well

What I hate is when the camera man pans to a shot of a shadow on a wall or something. Is this meant to take porn to a level of art or something? People dont buy them to watch shadows. If your the camera man/director then just accept that what you do isnt that hard. Point the camera at people fucking at different angles.

I also hate it when a chick is giving head or taking a face shot and looks disgusted. For fucks sake you can pretend to get off on it for a few seconds. After all that is what your getting paid for.

hahahaha

1. That whole dildo sucking thing. Don't get it. Won't ever i think. I mean, these girls decide to be lesbians, then go pretending that this fake dick is worth sucking? bleh.

2. Horrible orgasms. As soon as the dick goes in, I immediatly hear intense LOUD moaning as if this guy's cock hit some kind of orgasm switch inside the chick. Please, at least humour me and ramp it up.

3. Acting. Either be a good actor and have an interesting storyline, or get right to fucking. Some of the people in pronos have 3 lines in the whole movie, and they fuck them up.

4. The berating of women in some pornos. Bitch, slut, etc. And when they get ordered around to do shit. It's like they become robots to do what the guy wants. Not hot at all.

So basically everything I mentioned is in previous posts, I just felt like re-iterating it in case some porno director is browsing this thread. HEAR ME and the rest of us and make a quality movie!