Where to Ejaculate? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

saut · 03-30-2004, 05:42 PM

Alright, well I have a bit of a problem here. Whenever my girlfriend gives me a handjob or head (usually it happens in my car, since that's the most private place we have), I end up making a bit of a mess on the seats, floor, and just about anywhere else. This is a problem -- I don't want stains all over the fucking place (I clean it up as best I can, but you can never get everything). She definitly won't swallow, since she *accidentally* did the first time (I don't really want to subject her to that anyway), and I'm not sure how much of an option spitting is. Basically the blowjob is a handjob for the last couple seconds.

How can I solve this problem? Should I keep a "cum bucket" in the car or what, I'm really grasping at straws here, as you can tell. My girlfriend suggested getting a posterboard (and drawing a bullseye on it for sport). What do I do?

gduventree · 03-30-2004, 05:44 PM

Kleenex is your best friend. So speaks the voice of experience

bparker805 · 03-30-2004, 05:48 PM

I was faced with dilema before too. I lived with a couple of roommates in a two bedroom apartment and privacy was pretty scarce. My solution was to have a rag handy and before blast off placing either my hand or her hand over the love gun. This way, most of the man juice is limited to landing on your lap or the palm of the hand. Then just grab the rag/towel/shirt/whatever and clean up... Just dont leave it in the car and wash it pretty regularly. But the bullseye idea is a winner too.

RoboBlaster · 03-30-2004, 07:32 PM

Maybe you should find out how much of an option spitting is. That may be your best option.

WarWagon · 03-30-2004, 07:42 PM

Towel. Reusable, and just toss it back in the trunk when you're done with it.

iamnormal · 03-30-2004, 07:50 PM

"Bounty is the quicker picker upper"

Keep a roll of paper towels handy. Toss used towel in trash when done.

Jesus Pimp · 03-30-2004, 08:28 PM

Roll the window down. When you're going to blow your load, aim outside the window..

KungFuGuy · 03-30-2004, 08:44 PM

imagine a guy that didnt bother to clean up afterwards?

exponent_doobie · 03-30-2004, 10:48 PM

*sniff sniff* "Hey mah, is that bleach I smell???"

Luki · 03-30-2004, 11:04 PM

Put a towel down before you start and have a rag handy...

jay-g · 03-30-2004, 11:35 PM

0nesh0tw0nder · 03-30-2004, 11:45 PM

A sock maybe?

Eugeni · 03-31-2004, 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 0nesh0tw0nder
A sock maybe?

Quote:

Originally posted by Jesus Pimp
Roll the window down. When you're going to blow your load, aim outside the window..

Funny.

I'd go for kleenex.

fatboss · 03-31-2004, 03:42 AM

A "cum bucket" !

That's a classic

iamtheone · 03-31-2004, 04:52 AM

Fire that shit out the sun roof yo..... That's the best way to go. Suprise! to the mother fuckers in the car behind ya.....

filtherton · 03-31-2004, 08:33 AM

Her face?

Saw it in a porno once.

agball · 03-31-2004, 08:51 AM

How about the ashtray!! Most of them come out of the little socket there in. Just before you blow your load take it out & when your finished dump it out the window & put it back.

saut · 03-31-2004, 10:48 AM

lol, the ashtray idea is definitly the most creative.

moonstrucksoul · 03-31-2004, 10:55 AM

i am curious as to all the people who think it is possible to blow it out the window, i think my personal record is about 2 and a half feet, but i don't think that someone could aim it out the window and not compromise the situation. -lol

Quote:

Originally posted by RoboBlaster
Maybe you should find out how much of an option spitting is. That may be your best option.

if she didn't like the taste enought to swallow it, then why would she want to take it in and spit it out?

Redlemon · 03-31-2004, 11:03 AM

If she learns to deepthroat, she can bypass the taste buds altogether!

/not being helpful at all

cas305 · 03-31-2004, 11:32 AM

How about her hair and she can just wash it out later? or maybe a rag would do.

zippy · 03-31-2004, 11:59 AM

wear disposal plastic glove. take it off inside out and throw away. no mess

moonstrucksoul · 03-31-2004, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by zippy
wear disposal plastic glove. take it off inside out and throw away. no mess

or, OH MY GOD, a CONDOM? did anyone ever think that maybe you could use one of those mysterious devices?

KnifeMissile · 03-31-2004, 12:13 PM

This kind of attitude always confuses me. I mean, if it's already in your mouth, why not swallow it? What's the point of spitting?

Having said that, the most reasonable answer I've heard, here, is to simply bring a towel with you to cover whatever gets messy (I'd assume it's your seat). You can clean yourself up with kleenex and it should all be okay...

Crack · 03-31-2004, 01:29 PM

Just make sure to "fudge" over the truth when you eventually try to sell your car...

"No, no, those are stains from the "secret sauce" from the Big Mac I had yestrday... very sloppy sandwich those are..."

water_boy1999 · 03-31-2004, 01:43 PM

Ask her if you could borrow her vagina for a few minutes and store it in there.

/not being helpful either.

saut · 03-31-2004, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by crackprogram
Just make sure to "fudge" over the truth when you eventually try to sell your car...

"No, no, those are stains from the "secret sauce" from the Big Mac I had yestrday... very sloppy sandwich those are..."

lol, speaking of stains... i have a few stubborn ones here and there, what's the best way to get those out?

ironchef82 · 03-31-2004, 05:06 PM

Just use a shirt that's in your laundry pile. Have it handy and put it over your stomach area the closer you get to climax, and then just ejaculate onto the shirt. Pretty simple in my opinion.

Forgot to mention, but obviously use an old shirt that you don't care much for anymore that you only wear as pajamas or something.

doncalypso · 03-31-2004, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by saut
...Should I keep a "cum bucket" in the car or what, I'm really grasping at straws here, as you can tell. My girlfriend suggested getting a posterboard (and drawing a bullseye on it for sport). What do I do?

Heh heh heh.... the poster board idea is the best thing I've heard yet. Maybe my girlfriend and I should try that one.

Prince · 03-31-2004, 07:53 PM

I don't think shooting it out the window would work too well...it'd probably end up just being slugs of spunk sliding down the window...now that's romantic.

WarWagon · 03-31-2004, 08:08 PM

I somehow doubt theres an incredible amount of romance involved when getting a hummer in the back seat to begin with

Harshaw · 03-31-2004, 09:25 PM

Maybe she just needs practice before she feels comfortable swallowing. I would suggest practice...practice... practice.

qtpye4u84 · 04-01-2004, 12:11 AM

Well, you could take sweet secreations. In case you didnt know
there like pill from a adult shop there supposed to make the cum
taste better.
A shirt, some boxers or a napkin would be a good place to put the cum if she didnt want to swallow it.
Like said before put a towel under you in the car, wash it when your done or mix it into your dirty cloths pile at home.

sillygirl · 04-01-2004, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by moonstrucksoul
if she didn't like the taste enought to swallow it, then why would she want to take it in and spit it out?

Umm.... just asking here, but... have you ever had cum in your mouth? Personally it's not necessarily the taste that gets me... but that's another thread, another day.

The Kleenex idea is a good one. Paper towels aren't the softest thing in the world, and I'd imagine they'd feel a bit scratchy? And Kleenex is something that people have in their car at times anyway, isn't it? I usually have a box in my car. :shrug:

Sleepyjack · 04-01-2004, 12:51 AM

"It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again"

Some sorta towel would be the most appropriate. Most guys, i imagine, would've had some sorta cumrag

or something; esepcially when they where teenagers etc.

Quote:

sillygirl asid
Umm.... just asking here, but... have you ever had cum in your mouth? Personally it's not necessarily the taste that gets me... but that's another thread, another day.

The most objectionable thing about cum?

SixEdxMia · 04-01-2004, 02:43 AM

Invite on of her more slutty, comfortable friends along for the ride. On skin.. cum dries fast.. cum on your tummy.. sop it up with napkins and then shower?

Ps...I feel for your other passengers who are unknowingly sitting in your cumspots.

iamtheone · 04-01-2004, 04:36 AM

I got it!

She can cup her hand, you do yo thang, then out the sun roof it goes baby. The people in the car behind still get the same effect.!

raeanna74 · 04-01-2004, 07:30 AM

I think the condom idea is probably the easiest to clean up and most "disposable". You dont' have to wash out your shirt or anything. Also it's probably the most fool proof. Sometimes you never know where it's going to go. A friend gave hubby and I some high quality ones with flavors. Chocolate was YICKY, but then again I like dark chocolate and this wasn't dark. The strawberry was good, and the banana was definately tolerable. Try out some and see what she likes.

YaWhateva · 04-01-2004, 08:20 AM

Ya the condom thing is what me and my girlfriend started doing. just go at it until you can sort of feel it, then throw on the condom, or let her do it, and finish up.

sillygirl · 04-01-2004, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sleepyjack
The most objectionable thing about cum?

Thanks, I was too lazy to look up the link.

03-30-2004, 05:42 PM	#1 (permalink)
saut Registered User Location: Pittsburgh	Where to Ejaculate? Alright, well I have a bit of a problem here. Whenever my girlfriend gives me a handjob or head (usually it happens in my car, since that's the most private place we have), I end up making a bit of a mess on the seats, floor, and just about anywhere else. This is a problem -- I don't want stains all over the fucking place (I clean it up as best I can, but you can never get everything). She definitly won't swallow, since she accidentally did the first time (I don't really want to subject her to that anyway), and I'm not sure how much of an option spitting is. Basically the blowjob is a handjob for the last couple seconds. How can I solve this problem? Should I keep a "cum bucket" in the car or what, I'm really grasping at straws here, as you can tell. My girlfriend suggested getting a posterboard (and drawing a bullseye on it for sport). What do I do?

03-30-2004, 08:28 PM	#7 (permalink)
Jesus Pimp The Original JizzSmacka	Roll the window down. When you're going to blow your load, aim outside the window.. __________________ Never date anyone who doesn't make your dick hard.

03-30-2004, 11:04 PM	#10 (permalink)
Luki Crazy Location: Central Illinois	Put a towel down before you start and have a rag handy... __________________ Your part is silent you little toad - a line from the new phantom of the opera

03-30-2004, 11:35 PM	#11 (permalink)
jay-g Addict	Last edited by jay-g; 03-20-2008 at 11:38 AM..

03-30-2004, 11:45 PM	#12 (permalink)
0nesh0tw0nder Tilted Location: Bumfuk	A sock maybe? __________________ "Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt." Abraham Lincoln

03-30-2004, 05:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
gduventree Crazy Location: Vancouver	Kleenex is your best friend. So speaks the voice of experience

03-30-2004, 05:48 PM	#3 (permalink)
bparker805 is KING! Location: On the path to Valhalla.	I was faced with dilema before too. I lived with a couple of roommates in a two bedroom apartment and privacy was pretty scarce. My solution was to have a rag handy and before blast off placing either my hand or her hand over the love gun. This way, most of the man juice is limited to landing on your lap or the palm of the hand. Then just grab the rag/towel/shirt/whatever and clean up... Just dont leave it in the car and wash it pretty regularly. But the bullseye idea is a winner too.

03-30-2004, 07:32 PM	#4 (permalink)
RoboBlaster Psycho Location: Ouuuterrrr Spaaaaacccceeee	Maybe you should find out how much of an option spitting is. That may be your best option.

03-30-2004, 07:42 PM	#5 (permalink)
WarWagon Loser	Towel. Reusable, and just toss it back in the trunk when you're done with it.

03-30-2004, 07:50 PM	#6 (permalink)
iamnormal Addict Location: In the id	"Bounty is the quicker picker upper" Keep a roll of paper towels handy. Toss used towel in trash when done.

03-30-2004, 08:44 PM	#8 (permalink)
KungFuGuy Insane	imagine a guy that didnt bother to clean up afterwards?

03-30-2004, 10:48 PM	#9 (permalink)
exponent_doobie Tilted	sniff sniff "Hey mah, is that bleach I smell???"

03-31-2004, 03:42 AM	#14 (permalink)
fatboss Addict Location: Liverpool, UK	A "cum bucket" ! That's a classic __________________ "never mind that shit........here comes Mongo!"

03-31-2004, 04:52 AM	#15 (permalink)
iamtheone Psychoholic Location: Ein tov she'ein bo ra!	Fire that shit out the sun roof yo..... That's the best way to go. Suprise! to the mother fuckers in the car behind ya..... __________________ Music is holy, art is sacred, and creativity is power... Think for Yourself Question Authority

03-31-2004, 08:33 AM	#16 (permalink)
filtherton Junkie Location: In the land of ice and snow.	Her face? Saw it in a porno once.

03-31-2004, 08:51 AM	#17 (permalink)
agball Insane Location: Long Island	How about the ashtray!! Most of them come out of the little socket there in. Just before you blow your load take it out & when your finished dump it out the window & put it back. __________________ "A friend with weed is a friend indeed"

03-31-2004, 10:48 AM	#18 (permalink)
saut Registered User Location: Pittsburgh	lol, the ashtray idea is definitly the most creative.

03-31-2004, 11:03 AM	#20 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	If she learns to deepthroat, she can bypass the taste buds altogether! /not being helpful at all __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

03-31-2004, 11:32 AM	#21 (permalink)
cas305 Insane Location: Indiana	How about her hair and she can just wash it out later? or maybe a rag would do.

03-31-2004, 11:59 AM	#22 (permalink)
zippy Crazy	wear disposal plastic glove. take it off inside out and throw away. no mess

03-31-2004, 12:13 PM	#24 (permalink)
KnifeMissile Location: Waterloo, Ontario	This kind of attitude always confuses me. I mean, if it's already in your mouth, why not swallow it? What's the point of spitting? Having said that, the most reasonable answer I've heard, here, is to simply bring a towel with you to cover whatever gets messy (I'd assume it's your seat). You can clean yourself up with kleenex and it should all be okay...

03-31-2004, 01:29 PM	#25 (permalink)
Crack Misanthropic Location: Ohio! yay!	Just make sure to "fudge" over the truth when you eventually try to sell your car... "No, no, those are stains from the "secret sauce" from the Big Mac I had yestrday... very sloppy sandwich those are..." __________________ Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex. ~Halx

03-31-2004, 01:43 PM	#26 (permalink)
water_boy1999 Fly em straight! Location: Above and Beyond	Ask her if you could borrow her vagina for a few minutes and store it in there. /not being helpful either. __________________ Doh!!!! -Homer Simpson

03-31-2004, 05:06 PM	#28 (permalink)
ironchef82 Banned Location: Tucson	Just use a shirt that's in your laundry pile. Have it handy and put it over your stomach area the closer you get to climax, and then just ejaculate onto the shirt. Pretty simple in my opinion. Forgot to mention, but obviously use an old shirt that you don't care much for anymore that you only wear as pajamas or something.

03-31-2004, 07:53 PM	#30 (permalink)
Prince /nɑndəsˈkrɪpt/ Location: LV-426	I don't think shooting it out the window would work too well...it'd probably end up just being slugs of spunk sliding down the window...now that's romantic. __________________ Who is John Galt?

03-31-2004, 08:08 PM	#31 (permalink)
WarWagon Loser	I somehow doubt theres an incredible amount of romance involved when getting a hummer in the back seat to begin with

03-31-2004, 09:25 PM	#32 (permalink)
Harshaw Is mad at you. Location: Bored in Sacramento	Maybe she just needs practice before she feels comfortable swallowing. I would suggest practice...practice... practice. __________________ This too shall pass.

04-01-2004, 12:11 AM	#33 (permalink)
qtpye4u84 Flavor+noodles Location: oregon	Well, you could take sweet secreations. In case you didnt know there like pill from a adult shop there supposed to make the cum taste better. A shirt, some boxers or a napkin would be a good place to put the cum if she didnt want to swallow it. Like said before put a towel under you in the car, wash it when your done or mix it into your dirty cloths pile at home. __________________ The QTpie

04-01-2004, 02:43 AM	#36 (permalink)
SixEdxMia <3 Peetster Location: Peetster's house.	Invite on of her more slutty, comfortable friends along for the ride. On skin.. cum dries fast.. cum on your tummy.. sop it up with napkins and then shower? Ps...I feel for your other passengers who are unknowingly sitting in your cumspots. __________________ Honey,We're home.

04-01-2004, 04:36 AM	#37 (permalink)
iamtheone Psychoholic Location: Ein tov she'ein bo ra!	I got it! She can cup her hand, you do yo thang, then out the sun roof it goes baby. The people in the car behind still get the same effect.! __________________ Music is holy, art is sacred, and creativity is power... Think for Yourself Question Authority

04-01-2004, 07:30 AM	#38 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	I think the condom idea is probably the easiest to clean up and most "disposable". You dont' have to wash out your shirt or anything. Also it's probably the most fool proof. Sometimes you never know where it's going to go. A friend gave hubby and I some high quality ones with flavors. Chocolate was YICKY, but then again I like dark chocolate and this wasn't dark. The strawberry was good, and the banana was definately tolerable. Try out some and see what she likes. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

04-01-2004, 08:20 AM	#39 (permalink)
YaWhateva Friend Location: New Mexico	Ya the condom thing is what me and my girlfriend started doing. just go at it until you can sort of feel it, then throw on the condom, or let her do it, and finish up. __________________ “If the Americans go in and overthrow Saddam Hussein and it's clean, he has nothing, I will apologize to the nation, and I will not trust the Bush administration again.” - Bill O'Reilly "This is my United States of Whateva!"