jazzwyld

I'll speak from an American point of view, because I am sitting in the ol' capitalist led US of A.

Why are we as a people so sexually repressed? What about being sexual beings is illict? I know we aren't all catholic bred. I know this is a great forum for freedom and sexuality and may it always be there for discussion. But why are we (maybe i'm preaching to the choir) as a people so scared about being a vital part of who we are. I've had my homosexual experiences, and out there dealings, but I'm met with frowns, gasps, and how could you do that with a lil preaching on the side just to season the dish.

So my questions:

1) What do you see as the problem?
2) What are you doing to fix the mispreceptions around you?
3) Anything else?

Damn uptight americans, just be free!

__________________
You keep searching, but what you're looking for is inside.

Forget about who you thought you were, and accept who you are.

rsl12

jazzwyld: we as a people? I would say that the majority of people on tfp are not sexually repressed.

if you're talking about the american population being sexually repressed, with which country's population are you comparing it? europe? china? the middle east? who are "we as a people"?

maybe it would be more useful to provide an example about your "homosexual experiences" and the reactions associated with them.

__________________
oh baby oh baby, i like gravy.

jazzwyld

I spoke earlier of going from an American point of view, not globally, By "we as a people" i mean general public, just other people's observations. I know we at TFP, or hopefully, aren't sexually repressed.

__________________
You keep searching, but what you're looking for is inside.

Forget about who you thought you were, and accept who you are.

ratbastid

I know where you're coming from on this one. lurkette and I had a conversation just last night about who in our family we feel we could "come out" to as a bisexual woman and a straight man who are having an affair with another couple. My mom wouldn't take that well, I can tell you for certain.

What am I doing about it? Not much. Back before I personally had anything at stake, I was all for vocally challenging the inhibitions on sexual freedom. These days (ie. now that it's me), I prefer to keep more or less quiet about it. I'll just do what I do and those I trust enough to tell about it will know about it, and everyone else won't. And that's okay by me.

Strange Famous

Personally, Ive just never really felt I wanted any homosexual experiences, its just not something that has any attraction to me, I dont think Im repressed, I just dont wanna.

Of course, I could be so repressed I dont know Im repressed at all??

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

rsl12

my point was that America is not nearly as sexually repressed as more than half the world.

Look at italy. guatemala. fiji islands. china. india. iran. russia. in fact, there are only a handful of countries that i would say are less repressed than america. (maybe parts of brazil and europe. can't think of any other places. even the caribbean is more repressed if you don't count the tourist places.) and historically speaking, this has to be one of the most sexually permissive times for the entire world!

__________________
oh baby oh baby, i like gravy.

motdakasha

I think religion and gender plays a big role in sexuality for a large majority of Americans. We are also still afraid to educate our youth (under 6th grade) about sex, and they're the ones who need it the most. If we educated people at a younger age when they're still impressionable on their attitudes about sex, we wouldn't have nearly as many pregnant 12 year olds. A study found that teenagers typically put off sex longer and take care to use the proper gear so they don't get pregnant if they know they want to go to college and know how to go to college. It's one thing to tell a kid you can be anything you want, it's another to show them how to get started. I think a teenage girl's ambition to go to college has more to do with gender and sexism more than anything else. You can say whatever you want, but it's the actions that matter. If you tell them to be who they want to be, but then you discourage them from taking math courses, or piss on their hopes of being more than a secretary, or put them face to face with a glass ceiling... what more can they hope for other than being a mother?

Another study found that teenagers who try to be abstinent are less likely to use safe sex methods. The theory is that they feel less guilty for breaking their own rules if it's an "accident." If they use protective gear, it shows clear intentions of having sex, so then they've broken their own rules. Pretty backwards logic if you ask me, but if we educate these teens earlier and tell them about protection (in the right way!) they'll be safer.

I think we've gone about this whole sex education in the wrong way. I can't propose the right way, but I have some suggestions for improvement.
1) Get to them early! Prepubescent is ideal.
2) Don't tell them the only way to have safe sex is to have no sex. It instills feelings of guilt if they do want to have sex.
3) Condoms are not omnipotent!
4) Birth control doesn't protect you against STIs. Just because you think you're in a monogamous relationship doesn't mean your partner is!
5) If you don't want to have sex, you don't have to. No means no.
6) Teach in a way that allows children to feel that sex is OKAY and it's OKAY to talk about if they have questions.

__________________
=^-^= motdakasha =^-^=
Just Google It.
BA Psychology & Photography
(I'm not going psychoanalyze you nor will I let you cry on my shoulder. Have a nice day.)

doncalypso

Amen and Hallelujah, sister.... preach it girl!!!

__________________
Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

jazzwyld

Oh I'm not saying that not trying the "other" side is repressed. My encounter was minimal, and I'm not interested in doing it again any time soon. I think there is as has been stated above that religion plays a big part. I'm talking about being sexual, I see around me daily those that shiver and quake at the discussion of sex. I think it's just the idea of being able to discuss, once again as above, talking about it younger being real about sexuality, what it is, it isn't something to be ashamed of or to exploit. It is as much a part of your being as breathing and loving. But that's just my opinion

__________________
You keep searching, but what you're looking for is inside.

Forget about who you thought you were, and accept who you are.

motdakasha

Another study mentioned in my human sexuality class today was that 4 in 10 (that's almost 50% people) teenage girls become pregnant at least once before they turn 20.

And just a friendly reminder, it takes two to tango. Don't just point the fingers at the girls, point fingers at the boys too, their educators, and their parents (also educators, IMO).

__________________
=^-^= motdakasha =^-^=
Just Google It.
BA Psychology & Photography
(I'm not going psychoanalyze you nor will I let you cry on my shoulder. Have a nice day.)

Johnny Rotten

With 192 countries in the world, it's easy to cherry pick ones that fit your argument . In truth, the US is arguably the most repressed nation of its type. I think we can all agree on what kind of nation it is without splitting hairs: We're wealthy, technologically advanced, educated, and at peace (within our borders, natch).

It is better to compare ourselves to Europe and Canada than nations that are communist, religiously fundamentalist (although the US is heading that way, at this rate), tropical isles, or fallen and struggling former superpowers. When you do this, the picture becomes much clearer: The United States does appear to be much more repressed than its comparable nations.

__________________
"The idea that money doesn't buy you happiness is a lie put about by the rich, to stop the poor from killing them." -- Michael Caine

guthmund

Sure, religion and education play their part. However, I think that if there is one position everybody loves to take it's one of moral superiority. Nothing makes us feel better about ourselves and allows us to justify our lifestyles, if only to ourselves, than knowing no matter how messed up we are, we aren't as messed up as that guy over there.

Let me interject to say that I don't know any of you personally. I'm making pretty broad generalizations here, but if there is anyone out there who can truly say they don't cast stones then more power to you. Congratulations, you are a better man/woman than me.

I think that is the biggest problem. Legislating love, catagorizing folks into groups and sub-groups and assigning them a level on the "oh, that's disgusting!!!" chart. I'm guilty of it too. Sometimes my usual position of "whatever floats your boat" is difficult to hold on to.

The latest thing seems to be gay marriage. This to me seems to be a classic example of "whatever floats your boat," but there are a couple of threads here on the board and it seems to be all over the news in one form or another. Something that concerns none of us except the ones involved seems to dominate America's catalog of discussion topics around the water cooler, on the chat boards, and at the coffee shop.

I know that was long, but my point is: Until we stop worrying about the insignificant and trivial shit that people choose to do, who they do it with, and with what, then the current "situation" cannot change. I think that the particulars of your sexual life are your own. I'm not a prude by any means, but I do believe there are some things that are meant to be private, that's kind of why we have the word. It's really none of my business why the mailman seems to deliver a lot of "plain brown paper wrapped" parcels to your door. I'm curious. Maybe even intrigued, but as long as you're not hurting anyone and your not inviting me in, what's it to me? I'm not going to break my neck intercepting the mail and I'm not going to catagorize you in the degenerate demographic that fits. The problem I think is that too many (a vast majority of them with considerable power) do care. I can do very little to change that.

The best I can do is try to impress this sentiment of indifference on everyone who comes in contact with me. Not preaching on the soapbox, but when discussion turns, as it inevitably does, to the supposed sexual habits of the new guy/girl around the water cooler, this is the stance I take.

__________________
No signature. None. Seriously.

MSD

Look at who's running the country. Is it any wonder that we're not going anywhere? I support almost anything consensual (not sex with children or incest, of course) and I let people know this. I don't condemn anything that people do, even if I wouldn't want to do it myself. I guess you could say that leading by example is my method of doing something about it.

motdakasha

The sad truth of the matter is that ethnocentricity is difficult to escape in western society. It's a difficult frame of mind to break free from.

__________________
=^-^= motdakasha =^-^=
Just Google It.
BA Psychology & Photography
(I'm not going psychoanalyze you nor will I let you cry on my shoulder. Have a nice day.)

rsl12

yes, that's true.


I'm not sure why communist countries, tropical islands, or struggling former superpowers should necessarily be more sexually repressed than the US? Why can't they be compared? The religious fundamentalism I understand--most religions have strong restrictions on sexuality, and a religiously dominated government is bound to enforce those restrictions. But communism? tropical islands? technological superiority?

I would be curious to hear why you think America is more sexually repressed than Canada and Europe though. As a general rule, it may be, but there are parts of both countries/continents that are more repressed sexually than america, particularly if you're talking about homosexuality (Quebec, Italy, Spain, Germany, former soviet bloc countries). Outside of canada, europe, and brazil, I can't think of a single country that could be considered less sexually repressed.

__________________
oh baby oh baby, i like gravy.