Mr_A

A very close friend of mine has had this done and she cant exactly go anywhere to check if she has gotten any infections, diseases or if she is in danger of getting those or worse. I wanted to know where in the Southern California area she can go and get checked up for it anonymously or confidentialy without the need of insurance which her mother would have. She has very strict religious parents that just drive me nuts because she has tried to tell her brothers to take her somewhere to get a check up and her mother overheard her and cussed her out and lectured her on how she cannot do that because it is not religious. (Which basiclly means if you get help the state will put our butts in jail for what we did to you) So I really want to help her because I cant see her just go on with her life and being in the fear of having something without knowing it because of being scared of what will happen to her if she gets help. If anyone could help even a little bit with this situation, I would greatly appretiate it.

Thank You.

Fire

presuming that she is over 18- she is a free woman and there are many clinics available for free if she cannot pay- if under 18- then for gods sake call the state child abuse hotline and get their butts thrown in jail- in most states if someone is hotlined, the state HAS TO check it out- especialy if they have the info that she has suffered genital mutilation- this is some sick shit, and should be solved right quick- (sorry for the rant but this stuff should have ended in the middle ages)

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Lebell

Mr A.,

What has happened to your friend is considered assault in the US and rightly so IMHO. It is comparable to a mother hitting her children, a husband beating his wife, etc.

Female circumcision needs to be STOPPED and it never will be if people don't speak out and EXPOSE those doing it!

Please consider this when you decide what you are going to do.

I do not envy the burden on your conscience.

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sillygirl

*blinks a few times* I must've lived under a rock my whole life!! I had no idea wtf you guys were talking about until I googled it. 0_o Regardless of where she goes to get checked, the authorities should be informed of this.

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Shokan

What religion are they?

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wannabenakid247

That is seriously fuckin bad man. I cant beleive this shit still goes on anywhere especially in the west.

lurkette

Any Planned Parenthood clinic will 1. work on a sliding fee scale, and 2. protect confidentiality, although they may have an obligation to report abuse if she's under 18.

Religious schmeligious, female circumcision is a cultural aberration based on the worst kind of misunderstanding of gender and sexuality. Ignorance is ignorance, no matter what shield it hides behind. Get your friend to a doctor to make sure she's all right, and then perhaps to a counselor to deal with the issues I'm sure she's going to have to deal with.

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Vaultboy

Female circumcision is still sadly a commonplace practise.

That said, the issues are more complex when put into a cultural context where the right for century-old traditions should be allowed to persist. As much we feel morally oppposed to this type of mutilation and humiliation, we dont live those people's lives and their lives dont affect us. Outside interferences normally does little to change something so deeply culturally entrenched.

But help your friend. Since she herself is seeking help, i think it would be be best. The rights of the individual are tantamount.

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SabrinaFair

If you live in a city, you shouldn't have any trouble finding a free clinic. But as said before, if she's under 18 it's most likely going to be reported as child abuse.

I just read an article not two days ago about FGM (female genital mutilation) being practiced in the US as a way of tying relocated people to their homeland. Although my many anthropology classes have tried to teach me not to judge one culture by the standards of another (i.e., my own) I can't help but think of this practice as very wrong because of its distorted views on female sexuality and *how* it is usually practiced. But back to topic...I wish you and your friend luck in getting her checked out. Take care, and be blessed.

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kel

Female circumcision is no worse and no better then male circumcision. Fuck mythical health benefits.

Is she under 18? This could be a large factor in your decision.

Breaking up a family, even a largely dysfunctional one is a serious step.

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mtn_biker30

That is the saddest thing i have heard in awhile...
I have heard though that sex can still be pleasurable for a woman who has had this... hopefully that will be the case for her...

aphex140

educate via the web. I was unaware of this practise.

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Slims

What is wrong with you???

Male circumcision involves removing the foreskin on the penis......It doesn't remove your ability to enjoy sex.

Female circumcision involves removing the clitoris....equivalent to cutting your entire penis off. It is done so that the women will not enjoy sex, and thus, will be more likely to be faithfull to her husband when she grows up. As far as I understand, the womens family has this done to her so she will not dishoner them by being unfaithfull to the person they make her marry.

Are you seriously claiming that they are equivalent?

I don't know about you, but I am circumcised, and I find myself enjoying sex all the time....perhaps circumcision is a foolish custom based on mislead beliefs on health, but it is not a debilitating one.


And to respond to another above poster....Just because a tradition is ancient, doesn't mean it should be allowed to continue. I have no respect for this kind of behavior, regardless of the reason. We can't allow people to rape and murder while hiding behind religion, nor can we allow them to mutillate and rob women of their sexuality.

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silenced

isnt female circumsion basically the removal of the clitoral hood while clitoridectomy is the complete removal of the clitoris?

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Mettler

This kind of thing is brutal, and no one should be allowed to make this kind of decision for anyone else. Her entire life will be completely different now to what it could have been. The bastards.

Holo

What It Is:
Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) is an invasive and painful surgical procedure that is usually performed without anesthetic on girls before puberty. Their clitoris is partially or completely removed. This inhibits or terminates sexual feelings. It has been a social custom in Northern Africa for many centuries.

from here.


on this issue I'm going to be very intolerant of other customs and beliefs in saying practicers of this should have their entire genitalia removed, regardless of sex. This is a crime against nature to me. The clitoris is the most intriguing part of the human body even tho it's only a female organ. Imagine something that exists solely for pleasure...you'd have to be a real piece of shit to want to destroy something so beautiful.

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kel

I can say it because it's true. Everyone pities women and ignores the the fact that a similar mutilation happens to men and it is totally accepted.

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denim

Word. This kind of behavoir needs to be harshly punshed. Destroying a woman like this is about as evil an activity as I can imagine. I can't overstate this one.

ratbastid

Well, that's exactly the thing, isn't it? A patriarchal culture is very, very threatened by the clitoris. If there is a technical means of eliminating the central feminine mystery, a patriarchy will develop it, and then codify it into tradition.

I guess it'd never occurred to me that female circumcision was practiced much in the US. Though it makes sense that it might be, among strictly traditional immigrant families.

denim

You're not just ignorant, you're aggressively ignorant. You won't accept the understanding that your information is completely wrong.

pocon1

There is a HUGE difference between foreskin removal and genital mutilation. The equivalent would be cutting off most of your penis. And yes, this family should be prosecuted. The part about cultural customs is complete bullshit.

ariekitten

i'm going to have to agree....female circumcision is child abuse and is AGAINST THE LAW in the USA. she needs to report that, no matter. children can love their parents very much, but if the parent has harmed the child in anyway, it is always best to report it. hope everything works out. and yes, planned parenthood will see women under 18. all she has to do is produce a pay stub or lack of one and the exam could be free.

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SiN

Ok, before I can react to this thread...I think clarification is in order.

What exactly is the original poster referring to as 'female circumcision'?

hood removal? clit removal? both? 'female genital mutilation'?

What *exactly* is going on here?

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HYEHORSE

i can't believe people actually do this. it's awful. how is the woman ever supposed to feel pleasure if your cutting half of her vagina out of her crotch? disturbing.

kel

There is a huge practical difference, but little moral difference. They are both BS and should be illegal without consent.

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denim

That's an opinion.

sipsake

The moral difference as I see it is that male circumcision has been traditionaly performed as a religious rite, meant to affirm the male child's membership in a particular religious community..

Female circumcision has been used mainly as a means of subjugating women.

I agree that the practice of male circumcision is brutal and should be ended. However I also see a moral disctinction between male vs. female circumcision.

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txlovely

This is an antiquated practice that many are trying to end. It is used as a way to control women in many cultures.
www.fgmnetwork.org

Please get your friend to a doctor immediately and reiterating what some have already said, if she's under 18, her parents should be jailed for abuse.

Here's an excellent article explaining the process, laws and the lifelong harm on women who are brutalized in this fashion:

http://www.parkridgecenter.org/Page131.html

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Mr A

Well the problem is she is not 18 and she has brothers and sisters so she can and will not do anything that would result in her family be put in jail. But I do know that is the right thing to do but being in the situation she is in it is not possible.

I know and she knows that what happened to her is child abuse and assault on her but she is not going to breake up a family because of their sick culture. What I wanted to know is who did the procedure so I would notify someone that it is being taken place there but... I know dont know, first comes her.

I really dont want to turn this into a religion discussion so I wont say what her family's religion is. (After all the thing that has happened to her she doesn't even have belief anymore)

Reporting the family is not a solution at all. If that happens, her family, family name, culture and everything else and in between will be disrupted. So as much as I think it is the right thing to do, its not a solution.

What exactly is planned parenthood and is it anonymous or confidential?

I dont know exactly what was removed but I will ask her.

Again jailing the parents is not an option.




-Sorry about the long post, I replied to most of the posts and had some questions of my own.

-I am very thankful for each and everyone of you helping me and her about this situation, I greatly appretiate it.

JStrider

planned parenthood is a place anyone can go to for birthcontrol or advice on sex type stuff or different examinations... and depending on the persons income it can be as cheap as free...

they have them all over the US

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

plug in your zip code and theyll tell ya where the nearest is...

as for confidentiality... everything there is confidential... altho in this case they may be obligated to report the abuse...

but if she is worried about it being infected she definently needs to be checked out... surgical infections can be life threatening...

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sillygirl

Okay. Mr. A, regardless of family name at this point, she needs to be healthy. It doesn't matter what religion her family is, what beliefs they have, what they think. Her health comes first. She needs to be checked, she needs the peace of mind, and it sounds like she's in fear of her family, more than having respect for them. What was done to her is WRONG. She was unable to keep it from happening to her, but she is perfectly able, and it's her right to know that she is healthy. Like JS said, infections like that can be life threatening. It doesn't matter where she gets checked, it's probably going to get reported. So hit the nearest Planned Parenthood. SHE needs to come first at this point.

Mr_A

It is not the family name, if the parents go to jail, who will take care of her? Her sister and her brothers?

I will be contacting Planned Parenthood. I also talked to my doctor about where she can go and he told me that would be the best place. Now to call and see what they say.

Thank You all.

Lebell

I'll keep you both in my prayers.

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sillygirl

So will I. It kills me to think of how she must be feeling right now. I'm sure she feels scared about a lot of things...

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Golgothas

I believe that there is an actual legitimate form of female circumcision that involves trimming of the clitoral hood that a gynocologist can perform because of certain painful legions that can form from sebum and such. I think it's mentioned on clitoris.com or something, but that's not really the point of this discussion.

Mr A

What they removed was the clit.

denim

So it's okay with her when they do it to her sisters, huh?

teresar79

I agree with the last posting, it's too late to stop it from happening to your friend, but what about younger siblings?

Strange Famous

Her parents should be imprisoned and their children taken away from them - breaking up a family is a good thing when it is an abusive situation. I also agree that there is no religious motivation for these sort of acts of mutilation on women, it is a social and cultural custom - based on mysogony. We shouldnt be afraid to criticise other cultures just as much as we criticise our own when it is wrong, and evil customs must be destroyed whenever they are found.

If I was you I would report this to the police, and maybe beat the shit out of the father of the family - but Im afraid I'd only do that to make myself feel better.

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Mr A

1st: Already has happened to the sister.
2nd: This was all about religious motivation.