how to say 'i think your really nice, but i dont want to be with you' nicely? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

frozenstellar · 05-03-2003, 07:15 PM

i'm stuck in this situation.

this chick, call her Anna, has been after me since november 2002(graduation), and will not back off. i thought i'd be right, she got a place into university over 2 hours away from here. unfortunately, she deferred. Now I was with a friend of hers from Dec-April, and since she's got wind that we broke up, i havent been able to go anywhere without her showing up, wanting to get together.

I was with Anna two nights out at the pub (damn beer) two weeks ago. problem is, i dont want anything to do with her in a relationship, yet she wants there to be a relationship. i got a msg from her last night 'i almost picked up tonight, but it didnt feel right, i only want to pick you up.' i sent one back that spoke my mind, cuz she'd woke me up at 2:30 when she sent it, and i had 3hrs sleep in the past 36hrs cuz my brother is in hospital with a blood disorder, and couldnt get back to sleep because both the Anna issue, and my brother's health were troubling me.

she's a nice girl, but someone that i dont want to be in a relationship with, just as a friend. how do i say 'i think your really nice, but i dont want to be with you' nicely, to try and stay as just friends?

im trying to study for a calculus assessment starting tomorrow, and cannot get my mind on track to do so because of this.

Shadowman · 05-04-2003, 03:06 AM

Well, Im sort of the same situation, but in my case, its my Ex GF. All I can really think of is, think back to a time when there was a girl YOU pursued, one that you never got to go out with, but your still friends with. Think of how she told you that you were nice and kind, but it could only be friends. Now take that wisdom, and use it in your situation. Hope that helps. Good luck.

frozenstellar · 05-04-2003, 04:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shadowman
Well, Im sort of the same situation, but in my case, its my Ex GF. All I can really think of is, think back to a time when there was a girl YOU pursued, one that you never got to go out with, but your still friends with. Think of how she told you that you were nice and kind, but it could only be friends. Now take that wisdom, and use it in your situation. Hope that helps. Good luck.

to be perfectly honest, ive never actively pursued someone that i didnt end up being with in a relationship, great advice, but sorta doesnt work if i dont have the past work to do so.

kurty[B] · 05-04-2003, 05:31 AM

I had a few girls ask me if we could go together, or whatnot, but at the time was currently pursuing someone else, and straightforward told them "No, I'm not interested in a relationship". I'm still friends with a few of them, and they've even gotten married and I still talk to them. Although it's sometimes the hardest way to go, just being completely honest seems to prove the best way for me. If they can't handle honesty then they have some things to learn anyway.

Cynthetiq · 05-04-2003, 05:50 AM

no matter what rejecting someone doesn't feel good to either party. Like Nike says.. just do it.

once it's done and out there.. it's finished. If you are to remain friens.. then it will happen.

alpha · 05-04-2003, 06:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cynthetiq
no matter what rejecting someone doesn't feel good to either party. Like Nike says.. just do it.

once it's done and out there.. it's finished. If you are to remain friens.. then it will happen.

well put.

GoldenOuroboros · 05-04-2003, 07:13 AM

Everyone seems to have said what I was gonna say; Just be truthful.. Cause like what has been said, they always hurt.. if they stay friends they stay friends.. if not.. well they bugger off and never talk to you again..
*shrugs*

Memalvada · 05-04-2003, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kurty[B]
Although it's sometimes the hardest way to go, just being completely honest seems to prove the best way for me. If they can't handle honesty then they have some things to learn anyway.

I agree

frozenstellar · 05-06-2003, 03:54 AM

praise the lord!

she ended up hooking up with someone else on saturday night, and didnt tell me, now he's pursuing her, and i dunno if she wants a bar of him.

scenario #1 - she stays with him
scenario #2 - she says no to him, comes to me, i say how do you feel now that the roles have reversed?

and to top it off i got 98% on my calculus assessment.

thank you almighty one

Bob Biter · 05-06-2003, 09:47 AM

Good on ya, chief! Sometimes people tend to get worried about the wrong things.

However, don't get nasty with her if she comes to you after blowing off that random guy. Nobody likes an asshole. Instead, go with the previous advice: just say no.

Cynthetiq · 05-06-2003, 10:21 AM

take advantage of the pass... move on.

Halx · 05-06-2003, 10:35 AM

Sounds like the thread title says it well enough

05-03-2003, 07:15 PM	#1 (permalink)
frozenstellar Without Wings Location: Australia	how to say 'i think your really nice, but i dont want to be with you' nicely? i'm stuck in this situation. this chick, call her Anna, has been after me since november 2002(graduation), and will not back off. i thought i'd be right, she got a place into university over 2 hours away from here. unfortunately, she deferred. Now I was with a friend of hers from Dec-April, and since she's got wind that we broke up, i havent been able to go anywhere without her showing up, wanting to get together. I was with Anna two nights out at the pub (damn beer) two weeks ago. problem is, i dont want anything to do with her in a relationship, yet she wants there to be a relationship. i got a msg from her last night 'i almost picked up tonight, but it didnt feel right, i only want to pick you up.' i sent one back that spoke my mind, cuz she'd woke me up at 2:30 when she sent it, and i had 3hrs sleep in the past 36hrs cuz my brother is in hospital with a blood disorder, and couldnt get back to sleep because both the Anna issue, and my brother's health were troubling me. she's a nice girl, but someone that i dont want to be in a relationship with, just as a friend. how do i say 'i think your really nice, but i dont want to be with you' nicely, to try and stay as just friends? im trying to study for a calculus assessment starting tomorrow, and cannot get my mind on track to do so because of this.

05-04-2003, 03:06 AM	#2 (permalink)
Shadowman Crazy Location: Perth	Well, Im sort of the same situation, but in my case, its my Ex GF. All I can really think of is, think back to a time when there was a girl YOU pursued, one that you never got to go out with, but your still friends with. Think of how she told you that you were nice and kind, but it could only be friends. Now take that wisdom, and use it in your situation. Hope that helps. Good luck. __________________ Shadowman

05-04-2003, 05:50 AM	#5 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	no matter what rejecting someone doesn't feel good to either party. Like Nike says.. just do it. once it's done and out there.. it's finished. If you are to remain friens.. then it will happen. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

05-04-2003, 07:13 AM	#7 (permalink)
GoldenOuroboros The Cheshire Grin... Location: An Aussie Outback	Everyone seems to have said what I was gonna say; Just be truthful.. Cause like what has been said, they always hurt.. if they stay friends they stay friends.. if not.. well they bugger off and never talk to you again.. shrugs __________________ Can you see me grin grin grrriiiiinnnning?!

05-06-2003, 09:47 AM	#10 (permalink)
Bob Biter Non-smokers die everyday Location: Montreal	Good on ya, chief! Sometimes people tend to get worried about the wrong things. However, don't get nasty with her if she comes to you after blowing off that random guy. Nobody likes an asshole. Instead, go with the previous advice: just say no. __________________ A plan is just a list of things that don't happen.

05-04-2003, 05:31 AM	#4 (permalink)
kurty[B] Sauce Puppet	I had a few girls ask me if we could go together, or whatnot, but at the time was currently pursuing someone else, and straightforward told them "No, I'm not interested in a relationship". I'm still friends with a few of them, and they've even gotten married and I still talk to them. Although it's sometimes the hardest way to go, just being completely honest seems to prove the best way for me. If they can't handle honesty then they have some things to learn anyway.

05-06-2003, 03:54 AM	#9 (permalink)
frozenstellar Without Wings Location: Australia	praise the lord! she ended up hooking up with someone else on saturday night, and didnt tell me, now he's pursuing her, and i dunno if she wants a bar of him. scenario #1 - she stays with him scenario #2 - she says no to him, comes to me, i say how do you feel now that the roles have reversed? and to top it off i got 98% on my calculus assessment. thank you almighty one

05-06-2003, 10:21 AM	#11 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	take advantage of the pass... move on. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

05-06-2003, 10:35 AM	#12 (permalink)
Halx Please touch this. Owner/Admin Location: Manhattan	Sounds like the thread title says it well enough __________________ You have found this post informative. -The Administrator [Don't Feed The Animals]