sex and trauma
 

My grandfather died last monday, and the week was full of basic funeral stuff. Anyone who has suffered a loss of someone close knows what I'm speaking of. . .

Anyway, I went to Columbus this weekend to spend sometime with my friends and just to get away from the family and everyone grieving and everything. (I'm very introverted when it comes to stuff like that, and I simply needed some time away.) The short end of it all goes like this, I ended up having the most amazing sex while I was away. It was with a friend that I had never been intimate with and my emotions were on over load anyway and it was just amazing.

I got to thinking about the part in High Fidelity were Laura has lost her father and tells Rob that he can either have sex with her or burn her with cigarette butts so that she can feel something other than the pain that she can't escape.

Having then experienced this, I can tell you that it changed the way that I thought about the loss that I had experienced. Some how, by distancing myself from the situation for a short time my perspective was changed such that it just didn't hurt so much anymore. I could look at things with reason and not so much emotion; in fact after the fact, I was so emotionally drained that I didn't feel much of anything anymore except exhaustion.

I guess that I just wanted to share, and see if any other TFPers out there had experienced anything similar. . .

when you are hurting emotionally, sometimes sex can be the distraction that your mind desires, then you focus on that and the sex is better, cuz it's all you are centered on.

Yep... it's a weird reality, but more people have sex after a funeral than after a wedding, single or not.

I had the same experience in December, my aunt died, and that night my wife took care of me. Just short term, but it made me feel better.

it's all about context, if you love pancakes but you eat them every day soon they grow bland and unfulfilling, but if you start eating glass everyday all of a sudden the pancakes seem really great again

Sex can be very cathartic. When done right, it brings forth a release ;) which is much more than just a physical action. So many people underestimate the emotional aspect of sex.

yeah i did pretty much the same thing when my friend killed himself last year. i was away visiting my now ex and when i found out i was just lying talking to her trying to get my mind off it and yeah we ended up having some great sex. i was thinking about him afterwards, but it was a good release... even if it was only for a little while.

Some of the best sex that my wife and I have had comes on the heels of a major fight when we are feeling particularly vulnerable and hurt. It just seems to jack things up. Sex allows us to soothe the wounds.

I've always heard that sex is a way of celebrating our life -- of saying, "yeah, one day I will die just like so and so did; but today I am very alive."

I have had the same experience and found it very healing.

It's pretty simple. Sex is the ultimate expression of life. It's what our whole being calls for in the moment of experiencing another's death.

been there, done that...a few years ago the nite after my grandfather's funeral (probably the most difficult death i've had so far).