Being flirted with by gay men
 

This has happened to me more than one time, I dont really know why, I dont think I look that gay, and no women ever come up to me in clubs or pubs and ask me out so I shouldnt see why only men do.

I dont really mind it, although I have to admit it does creep me out a little even though I know it really shouldnt.

How would or do other people take it if someone of the same gender comes across as being interested, but you are straight?

Meh , its not a big deal. I think gay men and women alike can recognize a good looking guy. They just have the guts to flirt with you while the women are intimidated. So take it as a compliment.

no more, no less. :)

Re: Being flirted with by gay men
 

Believe me. they know you're straight. A lot of gay men like to flirt with str8 guys because they're more of a conquest than another gay man. Plus a lot of gay men like guys who look "straight" for various reasons. I've been hit on by gay men a few times and I'll say it's disappointing and uplifting at once. For one someone finds me attractive enough to approach, but on the other hand it's the wrong sex hitting on me and it's diusheartening when I'd rather it be a female. I don't act like a dickhead tho if they come on to me, just change my body language to show I'm not available but I'm not rude about it.

I've been hit on buy a guy before. I just took it in stride, made it clear ( politely ) i wasn't interested, and that was the end of it.

Re: Being flirted with by gay men
 

There is no such thing as "looking" gay. Please don't invoke an overused sterotype.
Take it as a compliment, change your body language to indicate you lack of interest, but also respect that it may have taken courage to come up and talk to you on their part. How long do you gather your courage before going to talk to a good looking girl? It's no different.
Having lived on Espanola way on South Beach, I personaly take it in stride, subtly shift my body language, and still make conversation with them since it's just plain rude to ignore someone who tries to have a nice conversation with you.
Just because i'm staright doesn't mean i shouldn't be freindly.

Ive been hit on by several gay men. Going to a school with such a large gay population (doesnt bother me--lessens the competition :D), its pretty inevitable. Dont think anything about it, or take it as a compliment.

Go home with them. You might like it.

I'm not at all sure what this means. I really don't think I could--on the spot--come up with a way of communicating with body language that I lack interest.

What's wrong with the phrase, "Sorry, I'm straight." Possibly followed with, "I'm flattered, though!"

Most gays know if you are straight or not. Just like straight men with a woman they have no chance with, they are just fucking with you because you are probably a decent looking person. Take it as a compliment.

Re: Re: Being flirted with by gay men
 

Really?

Obviously not all gay men look 'gay' but to say there isn't a gay 'look' is being silly.

Responding to the thread's title: It happens. It's OK.

Take it as a compliment.

Re: Re: Re: Being flirted with by gay men
 

From an anthropolgical perspective there are two gay sterotypes.
There is the buff muscular gay man, a product of the homosexual community's need to communicate that they where healthy via a strong body image at a time when aids was being identified as a "gay" problem and images of sick men wasting away where all over the media in the late 80's.
There is also the Effeminate image, that in all honesty i have realized is a rarity encompasing perhaps 10-12% of the commmunity. I came to this conclusion after living in both San Fransisco and Miami Beach and noticing that it's a role adopted by a younger gay generation that is reaching there 20's now (see Queer eye for the straight guy's characters). It's a sterotype that's been aplified by social interaction and media, much the same as common generalizations that all men 18-24 years in age are FHM reading, Man show watching, strip club going that want's anything with a pussy.
Most gay men i have know or worked with over the age of 30 have not adopted this personal image. In fact most gay men are such that i would never have know they where gay if they had not mentioned it.

I have always enjoyed it, hehe someone thinks i'm hot

That's what I say. If you aren't interested you aren't interested. Don't sweat it. I'd be flattered if a guy hit on me about as much as if a girl did.

I knew a guy that caddied for a gay couple at a golf course and got hit on.normally I'd be in that flattered category but i be upset if it turned out like my friend who actually got smacked on his ass as he left.

sounds like sexual harrassment/creating a hostile work environment....

Hell, i might buy the guy a drink just for thinking that highly of me.

Just because you're not interested sexually doesn't mean you can't meet the guy and make a friend.

I honestly don't know what I would do. I've never been hit on by a man, that I am aware of. If someone did hit on me, it was too subtle for me to figure it out, or I'm hard at noticing, it coming from a guy. Either way, not having been in that situation, complete with the fact that I've never known a gay man offline, I've no way to tell. In theory, I'd probably just be friendly and try not to encourage him, if you know what I mean...just not be overenthusiastic about talking to him. Or something. I would not know how to adjust my body language to send him a message of not being interested.

I'm sure it comes as a surprise that I've never met a gay man, to my knowledge...in fact I am sure I have met a few, but did not know it. I'm from a small country where sexual relations between two men were still illegal in the 70's. They're not illegal anymore, obviously, but we're still quite behind the times. Aside from a few enlightened individuals here and there, mostly you'll want to keep your non-straight sexuality from people other than those who you trust. That is if you value your facial structure. I'm sad to say that... Me, I've no problem with someone being gay...what is it to me anyway?

was threatened by it in times gone by, but got pretty much cured of it during uni.

for 2 years this chap swooned over me, i found out about it after 12 months. I started having relations with a female friend of his. somehow it all came out.

Bothered me for a while, but not very long. Started taking it in the same way as anyone else who'd have an unrequited (right spelling?) crush on me... Delicately, but with humour.

Heh, as I was leaving the uni for the last time, in a 'ball' he came up to say goodbye, and i gave him a peck on the cheek.

The look on his face...

heh heh.

(not trying to sound big headed there, just as it was...)

DAMN.

Thinking about it, the guy was indian. He might have had some insider tips for me on my favourite cuisine...

:D

Happens all the time with me, mostly because I hang out with a lot of gay people being that my roommate and brother are both gay. I'm even asked often if I am gay by a lot of there friends, or a lot of people just assume that I am, I tend to be pretty well dressed, and sometimes the way I talk or act may give off a slight "gay vibe", but I'm not. Heck just yesterday I was told I have a nice ass and abs by a gay guy, I like it, it's flattering to hear.

I don't flatter you enough?

I had a gay guy grab my ass at a theatre once. At first I thought it was my friend (girl) but come to find out it was the guy standing next to me. I was scared.....haha

it is always superior to me for receiving flirt, from man or gal.

i hardly never leave the nightclub with the gay flirt, but good to know i have the option if this is my preference for the night!

i like to be sexy to all.

Of course you do, probably more than I deserve sweetie...

Last time this happened to me, I was careful to thank him for the implied complement, but told him I didn't go that way.

I had the "attitude" about gays burned out long before.

Now he knows how the women feel when jerks do that to them. Believe it or not, no one has a clue about everything.

eh...why not...attention's attention.

There was a time in my life when I probably would've been upset...but, no more. Life's to damn short to worry about things like that.

Hey, at least you're not this guy ;)

http://www.theonion.com/onion3604/why_do_all_these.html

Re: Re: Being flirted with by gay men
 

bingo....i've had gay guys buy me drinks before. it was nice for once for someone to buy me drinks at the bar ;) they knew i was str8, but they insisted on buying drinks.


woot

What about that guy with the big pink triangle on his shirt and the words "GAY AND PROUD" who I saw the other day at the mall?


But anyway, to be serious, just take it as a compliment. They obviously think you're attractive enough to flirt with, so youi're doing something right.