InTeGrA77

I was in a long distance relationship last year and it worked out pretty well, and lasted for 7 months. But I was the one that messed it up in the end... We managed to stay happy because we talked to eachother contantly, EVERY single night without fail! He lived in Wisconsin (about 20 mins. from Milwaukee) and I lived in northwestern IL. It was about a 3 hour drive, that we alternated who made the trip every time we saw eachother.

Communication is the key to a long distance relationship. That's it! If you can't see eachother as much as you'd want to, the closest thing you can do is either talk to them on the phone, or maybe use a webcam...

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28 days...6 hours...42 minutes...12 seconds...

pyraxis

Two and a half years and counting....

It's not true that it has to stay tough forever. Once you get used to dealing with each other in terms of long distance, and accept it as a neccessary part of life, it's easier to deal with. Try not to count down days all the time or dwell on how much you miss your s.o. No point making yourself miserable.

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"Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind." -Emerson

minyn

I wont do it again. even 125 miles is frustrating.

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"Woke up this morning with a blue moon in my eye"
~A3 "woke up this morning"

"Don't compromise yourself, you're all you've got." -Janis Joplin

Captain Canada

My girlfriend is about to leave for 5 months to go to Germany for study abroad.

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Conclusion: Flamethrowers and Furries go togerther like Pol Pot and the Cambodian populace.

bender

All of the ones that I've seen have in time unfortunatly fallen apart, but there are the stories out there that say otherwise.

llama8

It's something I've done. Thoroughly enjoyed the time. Wouldn't do it again though :X

Aladdin Sane

I am American and my wife is Dutch. I was living in Texas and she was in Amsterdam. We saw each other 3 times in three years. On the third time we got married. And we did this before the internet. And phone calls were damned expensive.

We've been happily married for almost 16 years.

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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

alpha

I'm kinda in one right now. I'm serving in the army till July, and only see my gf on weekends every now and then. The most important thing is communication, talking on the phone as often as you can, sharing your day and telling what you're up to. And when we finally see each other, I try to make that weekend as good as I can so the next week that we're apart goes more easily.

We constantly keep in mind that I'm not here forever, and after this is over there will be nothing keeping us apart. Planning the future together makes us bond stronger and stronger. I think this time will do only good to our relationship.. It's not easy, but if our relationship survives this, it'll survive anything.

wry1

I think it's probably easier to be in a long-distance relationship if that's how you meet. I'm in one right now, and while I'm terribly anxious to finally get out there and spend time with her, I also don't have the sense of something "missing" that usually comes when a "normal" relationship turns long-distance.

If you love your SO, give it everything you've got. That way, no matter what happens, you'll be able to know that you did everything in your power to make this work. And if it works out for you, then so much the better!

wilbjammin

I think it depends on a lot of factors. Mainly commitment, and reciprocity, honesty, maintaining independence, and trust.

I'm in one for a while, and while I miss her when I don't get to see her, I feel ok because there isn't any doubt in my mind or her's that this is what we want and that eventually it won't be a long-distance relationship.

On the other hand, I had a couple friends that fell for girls that lived really far away and ended up having butchered relationships that didn't last long. One found himself completely committed to someone that wasn't committed to him at all, she cheated on him. The other fell for her on the phone and internet, when she met him... dear god, one of the worst debacles I've ever witnessed. She decided to be lesbian for a few years after that one, and I don't blame her. In the case of the last situation, everything was "normal" until they finally met.

I guess the point is that these situations can work out, but you need to keep your head on your shoulders and really pay attention to what the other person is saying. Be honest, and if you feel it is worth it, put all you can into making it work.

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Innominate.

OracleEyes

I have been in 2 of them, and i would agree with some saying communication is the key, but sometimes its not enough. Sometimes you get a high maitenaince girl and love her to death, but not being there for her has to be one of the hardest things known to man. If you can do it, my hat is off to you.

bobson

i might be starting one in the near future.
2 weeks ago, i got together with a girl i'd liked for around a year. At the time, i knew that we would only have 3 weeks or so before she left to go back to university, which is around 1100km away from here...so, with a week to go, i'm realising my feelings are a lot stronger than i thought they were. soon enough, we'll have to decide whether things are off when she leaves, or if we want to try the long distance thing. im not looking forward to that...

Plan9Senior

Dude, if you are not married and the person that you are dating (girlfriend/boyfriend.. whatever you want to call them) leaves for longer then a few months, end the commitment. There is absolutely NO reason to hold out for somebody (who you arent married to) because they decide to leave for a long amount of time. To do so is only setting yourself up for heartache. When they return, pick up where you left off if you both decide the feelings and desire to share your life with eachother is still there. Anybody who disagrees with me about this most likely has some insecurity issues (or control issues). The cold fact is hockeyguy, you don't have a normal relationship right now. You have a phone buddy. However, whether you feel you deserve more then that is something you will have to live with right now...

HockeyGuy

Hold-Up here I never said that this has become a 'normal relationship' and would say that with any amount of disance is (at least to me) NOT ideal at all! But I do also believe that this sort of thing can work out (not saying that it WILL, but that it CAN...) and that I've done this once before (4 months), and I definitly don't go looking for this kind of thing.. last time it was me that was leaving, ah well 'what goes around, comes around' eh? And IT is hard as EVER but...I look foward to the day she gets back, and then a week later (all thigs being well) WE will be off to Canada =D

Bigt6909

long distance relationships suck, but if you both are willing to work around the distance you can make it work

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Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. --Homer Simpson

Alyssa

A long distance (131.5 miles one way to be exact) relationship broke my boyfriend and I up. We had been together for seven years. ( The high school sweetheart)

We started moving in different directions, started to get seperate lives, and couldn't find a meeting place in the middle. Talking on the phone does only so much, you need the physical contact.

I remember a month or so before we broke up, he would tell me stories of some friends that he knew, that I had never met, and I really didn't care. I didn't know them, and wasn't at his school with him and them and couldn't relate. It went both ways with him, he couldn't relate to my life when he would come up and visit. Everything just eroded out from under us.

He eventually broke up with me over the phone.

We haven't spoken since then and that will be two years ago this April.

thedrake

Hope it works out!

EruptiveDreamz

I am begining not to believe much in one. After all what do I have to loose. The few words I get on my computer screen from time to time? Good luck to ya. What doesn't work for one doesn't mean it won't work for someone else.

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Can you imagine Moses asking Congress to pass the ten commandments?

Parker

I am a successful case where a long distance relationship has worked. My wife and I had a long distance relationship for two and a half years before we got married. The key is phone conversation. She was the last person that I talked to every night. I know taht the phone bills and get expensive, but it is worth it if it is someone that think that you are going to marry. I know that it is tough, but just think of it this way when and if you someday get married. You can travel for your job and the independence that you created being away from each other will help your marriage because you are already use to it.

Jephree

......don't work.

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When's the next good swell in SoCal?

HockeyGuy

Update (becasue someone bumped this back)- things are still good over a month in.. we are now planning on going back on hols to Canada (to see my family/friend from over there!) when she gets back. It's tough, but yes the phone calls are a necessity i find, and now that she has a new phone for txting it is nice to recieve them as well! So far so good.. just under 4 mo's to go.. So long, but yet.. getting there. (and yes I am enjoying myself with my mates and all over here still!!!)

Thanx all

Alyssa

A long distance (131 miles one way) broke up my seven year relationship. We saw each other almost every weekend and talked on the phone EVERY night...if one of us couldn't talk for the night, we would call the other person just to tell them that.....Anyway, the distance just started to take it's toll on us. I was meeting new friends at school and he was doing the same at his. At night we would talk on the phone and tell each other about the things we were up to with these new friends, but neither of us new them personally so we couldn't relate to each others stories...in other words, we were growing apart.

One night he called me up and asked about my opinion on maybe taking a break from each other. It seemed weird since we were practically taking a break from each other already (during the week) I slept on it and two days later he cut ties with me over the phone.....SEVEN F-CKING YEARS ended over the telephone!!! It has been almost two years now and I have not seen or heard from him since. That makes you kind or reevaluate what kind of relationship you were in...what kind of person...who out of the blue throws you away like a piece of garbage, when just the week before was perfectly normal. He has never come crawling back to me and I haven't done the same. It's like the wind came, picked him up and blew him away. *Sigh*

I'm in a new relationship...(six months and going strong) Next week we go on a trip fro nine days to Jamaica...(That he paid for!) But things in our future are not looking that great, since he is now graduating in May and I still have another year or two at school. He has never done the long distance thing and I have. I have been with this guy for six months and I'm affraid that if a seven year relationship couldn't make it, how can this one?


I. Hate. Long. Distance. Relationships.

jay-g

LaughinMon

my girlfriend and i have had a long distance relationship for 14 months now and we're still going strong. we chat online for a couple hours everyday and we utilize the unlimited nights and weekends on my cell phone plan and talk anywhere from 2-5 hours every night. we visit each other each chance we get. i'll be at the same college with her in 5 months and then the long distance aspect will be gone.

long distance relationships can work. it just takes effort from both sides. and try to end the long distance part of the relationship as soon as possible.

HLP

I can beat most of you guys.

My gf and I go to school over 600 miles apart: Mizzou and MSU.

We have only seen each other on vacations but we are going strong. I'll admit its hard when there are so many other girls around you right now but if you can fight temptation it's worth it. For me it is because I love this girl.

Tips for you guys, make sure you talk either online or on the phone, write silly little letters and notes, and the time we do have together on our vacations we make the best of EVERY second.

I have ALOT more stamina when I know I'm going to be around my girl for only a short time period.

doncalypso

Regardless of how pure and honorable our intentions are, we must all remember that we're human beings, and as such we have very powerful and practically irresistible needs for companionship and physical contact.

Long-distance relationships are not healthy (in my opinion) because as time goes on the temptation to cheat becomes greater and greater. And furthermore, even if you have the willpower to resist the temptation to cheat there's no guarantee your significan other will be strong to resist the urges of the flesh.

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Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

jay-g

mastboyx

Yeah Definitely i have had experience in a long distance relationbshio ant they do not work!! :P

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Ignorance Is Bliss

R3d

im currently in a LD relationship.. been for for over 2 years now.. met her online.. and we talk everyday.. she's in new york area, and im in sask, canada.. im totally in love with her.. she's been here twice to visit, and i've been there 3 times... all in the last year.. both of our parents are very supportive of it.. as weird as it may be lol... im waiting to finish my schooling here then move there to be with here.. all my friends here think i'm crazy for doing this.. but i've never connected with anyone the way i do with her..

agball

if the feeling is there you can make it work, I married my LDR years after I returned. I was away for 1 year.

Eclipse26

I think long distance relationships can really work. Like everyone else has mentioned...communication is key. As for long distance telephone bills...that was a problem, but we've since moved to Skype p2p calling on the PC. It's free and worldwide and I think the quality is better than the phone. It's beta, so there are still some issues, but it gives me the ability to "sleep" with the one I love. I leave it on all night and I can hear every breath he makes.

It's the little things that make you feel close to each other and that add up in the end.

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What the damn

Seer666

I'm just hitting this one myself. My wife to be in still in Japan, and I'm PCSing to Hawaii. Lot's of paper work and things to get done before we can get married, so we have to do the long distance things for a while. Try and write her every day, but I do wory about it sometimes. Had one other long distance thing once, and while I would call it a bad ending, it was an ending, and I don't want to go through that again. I just keep reminding myself about how much she means to me, and try to make sure she knows that to.

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Bad spellers of the world untie!!!

I am the one you warned me of

I seem to have misplaced the bullet with your name on it, but I have a whole box addressed to occupant.

HockeyGuy

UPDATE- Things are still going really well between us two and a bit months (almost half way) though. Had a minor argument of sorts the other day cause we hadn't spoken/contacted in about 3-4 days but other than that things have been sailing as smooth as I could have hoped i suppose. I still think about her ALL the time and she says the same about me. So HOPEFULLY we're getting there.. and only two and a bit months to go! Also, shes now coming back to Canada with me in June (6 days after she returns from india to REALLY mess up her jetlag...) on holiday for 3 weeks. Getting close now (still SOO FAR OFF THOUGH...), but realizing just how important talking with each other is because otherwise the mind starts to wonder and thinks about WAY too much!
Thanx again for all the still incoming stories everyone good to get both sides.. good and bad.. hopefully they're of use to others as well!
-T

Zombie

I'm sure long distance relationships are fine if you know what you're doing. If not, they'll just end terribly. Like just about everything else in life.

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Idiot.

crazybobmarley

.

jay-g

digme

it will be hard, and then easier, and then harder again.

Unless you are 100% sure about this person, get out now.

munchini

well... it sounds like everything has already been said... but its fun to talk about our own experiences so here...

my girlfriend and i have been together for about 2 years... in the beginning we onyl saw each other like once a month or twice... we live 2 and a half hours away from each other (150~miles) and well, the one thing that got us together was that we kept talking every night... i live my day she lives hers, but at night it was OUR time... and well... it's still working 2 years later...

all i can say is that... hey you should still live your life no matter what... but don't forget your loved one either... as long as both of you have the drive and desire to stay together... you will be... hey you'll be amazed how powerful that drive is... hey we all have a sex drive that's strong.. you can use that TYPE (notice i said type) of energy towards your relationship =)

good luck!~