Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community (https://thetfp.com/tfp/)
-   Tilted Sexuality (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-sexuality/)
-   -   How long do you keep mementos of your ex? (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-sexuality/40428-how-long-do-you-keep-mementos-your-ex.html)

oblar 01-18-2004 05:26 PM

i keep everything, generally.. Only one time did we break up on a bad note and I threw away EVERYTHING i had of her that I could find..

later on we came back to good terms and I wish I had kept more of it.. I am glad to have what little i couldnt find..

Ace_O_Spades 01-18-2004 08:36 PM

i personally prefer to purge whn i break up. helps ease the pain for me anyway

motdakasha 01-19-2004 01:57 AM

i have a vase of dried roses from various exs and some boxers and pants. in fact the ones i'm wearing right now are from an ex, but they're the only pair of sweats i currently own, so i keep it for a functional purpose. i don't really place a high sentimental value on most of the mementos i have. they're just around because i don't realize they're leftovers from a relationship.

llama8 01-19-2004 03:25 AM

I try to keep everything. If it was such a big part of my life why would I just want to get rid of it all?

I remember hearing that you should live by what's happened in the past as opposed to living in the past. It's nice to pull out the letters every so often and read how feelings change over time. Makes it interesting, but I'm not sure what I would do if a new girlfriend insisted I get rid of everything :S?

Gelfling 01-21-2004 04:38 AM

I think I have kept everything from every ex, really no reason to throw them out I think.. Have torn up some pictures from one ex though.

digme 01-23-2004 04:57 PM

I've kept little things here and there, and I have it all sealed in a briefcase that I open maybe once a year. Its fun to remenisce. I also have managed to keep one pair of underwear from my two most meaningful relationships.

Yea, I'm a sicko.

ariekitten 01-25-2004 04:26 PM

i don't think you should keep or not keep anything based on others' decisions. if you like the stuff, if it means anything to you, keep it. if not, toss it. you're the only one who can decide stuff like that for you. me personally i keep letters that say the things that meant the most to me....i keep (most) of the gifts, but some are just too painful to have around. so do what you feel comfortable with.

blockmaan2000 01-26-2004 05:58 AM

Keep them until you get a new girl. Then make new memories. I promise the new ones are all better than the old ones...

SpoilSport 01-26-2004 10:03 AM

I think this is like one of those how-do-I-please-a-girl threads. It's all incredibly subjective.

I used to be part of the Sentimental Camp. I kept things tucked away, just because I couldn't bring myself to throw them out. I never felt the need to dredge them out and reminisce (well almost never), but couldn't seem to throw the crap away. Well, since then I got involved with someone that couldn't care less about any of that. Cards are neither given or received, after my taking the time to write what I felt what was heartfelt, and finding those cards in the trash very shortly - almost immediately - afterwards. After that, I felt the idiot and the desire to put anything to paper went away, after many years of being a hopeless romantic, all of those urgings were just ...gone. It's a little sad to me really, but I guess I've reached that "who really cares/is it really worth an effort" stage of being jaded. It made me realize that all the writing and all the things I did that I meant as thoughtfulness were probably more for myself than for them. It's not to say that the relationship isn't rewarding, it's just that my muse has left me. Nah, she threw her hands up and quit the business in a disgusted huff. Things don't ...move me the way they used to. *shrugs*

I am now a standard bearer for the Build a Fire Camp. I see no need for these things to take up my personal space, unless I have a practical purpose for it. I don't ask for my things back, I never did. Once given as a gift, keep it, it's not mine to ask back. I'd just throw it all out, but any excuse to light a fire and I am at the ready with the zippo.

wipeout 01-26-2004 12:31 PM

i keep a few pics and stuff i got for presents--i dont see a problem keeping them as long as you nderstand that it is over and you are not doing it to remember and hope that it will come back

Andy 01-26-2004 08:53 PM

Just once piece of advice after reading through this thread: Wait until you're completely over the person before you decide whether to keep or throw away. You're less likely to run into regrets that way.

My story is similar to Spoilsport's. I used to keep everything, especially from my first serious relationship. The problem there was that the relationship was an act of desperation on my part -- thus my own clinginess, "romance," etc. Looking back now, I think virtually everything I did was ridiculous, so I have no problem with getting rid of mementos.

Actually, I take it a step further and sell some of the gifts she gave me on ebay and amazon :) Just sold a book today!

I'm evil, sorry. :thumbsup:

CinnamonGirl 01-27-2004 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ustwo
Naked pictures - Keep for internet posting. ;)
Well, gosh, that really makes me want to pose naked :lol:

I have one shoebox full of stuff related to/given by my "first love." It stays tucked away in the closet (well, it's in storage now.) At this point, it isn't so much that the stuff reminds me of HIM, it reminds me more of being 16, completely carefree, and all that jazz.

However...I do think it bugs my husband a little, and I'm starting to think that maybe 7 years is long enough. I'll probably dump most of it when we get our stuff out of storage.

Crack 01-31-2004 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CinnamonGirl

However...I do think it bugs my husband a little, and I'm starting to think that maybe 7 years is long enough. I'll probably dump most of it when we get our stuff out of storage.

Nah, keep it. it's fun to laugh at!

Shyla Loral 02-01-2004 08:51 AM

I got rid of all his emails. Some stuff I *would* have kept if he hadn't have thrown out all my shit, like this one time, he got me this ginger jar that was gorgeous, and matched my tea set. He really had to look hard for that, and on the bus, too;so I really want to keep that, b/c it meant a lot to me. As far as cards and stuff, I would have thrown those away, but again, he threw out all my shit.
I kept a couple of wedding pictures, t hat's about it.
In general, I guess just keep the most important stuff, and throw the rest out. AS far as printing out all the emails and keeping them to read "sometime" I wouldn't do that, seems to tempting to get drunk and rehash shit.
I haven't stayed friends with my ex's. One tried to kill me, literally. One just thinks I ruined his life, another is a violent asshole and I don't want to talk to him ever again. ONe though, is a friend, and she's pretty cool, but I wouldn't really call her an "ex", we weren't in a relationship, we just slept together twice, heh.
I think Meff would freak if I had that stuff, anyway. If I talk about him, it's cuz I get reminded about something, and that happens less and less. Usually, it's "you're so much better than him this way" heh.

02-02-2004 08:59 PM

Well.. I'm friends with half of em..
and the others i still have some (deep down possibly under some dirty socks) feelings for so i keep stuff..

it's good to have memomentos.
keeps you from lying to yourself about somethings. Likey why you broke up with her in the first place.



Box in the closet and a folder on the computer (titled shoebox)

absence_of_color 02-02-2004 09:52 PM

I keep everything from everyone.

I like to bring back certain times and remember the things I learnt and the things that hurt to the things that made me happy.

Iliftrocks 02-03-2004 12:45 PM

Why keep em? The only thing I ever kept from an ex was a stuffed racoon, he's cool and now my daughter plays with him.

My mom still has pics of me with exes, but I don't see any reason to have any......

Slims 02-04-2004 02:57 PM

Edited.

Bigt6909 02-04-2004 03:05 PM

Keep them as long as you remember them

frankx 02-08-2004 07:09 PM

I have many mementos from past girlfriends, and I value them, as I valued the relationships and learned MUCH from each and every one of them. I am lucky enough to have a wife that encourages this.

teriaki 02-09-2004 04:09 PM

I kept most of the mementos. I have a trunk which contains all the important "memories" - if a relationship ends, I put the guy in the "trunk" until I can look at the items without getting upset.

I wouldn't want to get rid of them, I was half of the memories created.

MaGlC_MaN 02-09-2004 04:16 PM

i've got some pictures of my ex in my wallet and i just can't bring myself to take them out for some reason. it's like i just don't wanna let go even though she's completely through with me

His Shadow X 02-12-2004 12:33 AM

I keep them for a while, memories or for when they come back.

31Friction 02-12-2004 07:23 AM

ive kept alot of stuff from previous relationships. I still look at it all now and then...


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 01:27 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360