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Old 12-29-2003, 07:10 PM   #1 (permalink)
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why guys are so quiet in bed

Perhaps this explains it (CLICK ME!)...

would be curious to hear reactions from women--do men do all the work, while women lay back and see what the guy has to offer? in my experience too, it's been that way. very generally speaking.
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Old 12-29-2003, 07:41 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I blame it on porn.


Basic masculine reaction - don't let on that you enjoy it, or else she owns you.
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Old 12-29-2003, 08:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hahahaha...yeah. I could imagine that is how some guys think. haaa!
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Old 12-29-2003, 08:39 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I read that a while back ago, funny.
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Old 12-29-2003, 09:01 PM   #5 (permalink)
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i constantly catch myself acting totally based on the feedback i get from the lady.

but maybe it works the other way round -- if men actually gave as much feedback as women, then women would also fall into the realtime analysis and preemptive execution trap.

and, hell, how does this keep you from moaning?
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Old 12-29-2003, 09:01 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Its true enough. I figure, as a guy, I will probably end up having an orgasm simply because intercourse has started. I don't need to worry about getting off... if we are having sex, very little is going to stop me. This means I'm good. Well, kind of good... if I want to keep doing this, she needs to have fun. So I spend A LOT of time trying to make sure this is an activity she is going to enjoy and want to do again.
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Old 12-29-2003, 09:27 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I don't think I'm quiet, but then again I don't talk non-stop. I try to make sure she has her fun before I finish.
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Old 12-29-2003, 10:09 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I'm just not very vocal in bed myself. If something feels good, I say it, but I don't go out of my way.
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Old 12-29-2003, 10:25 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I'm always quiet in bed, but that's because it doesn't come naturally to me to go 'Ahh, ooh, mmm". If I do it sounds very forced and I feel like an idiot for doing it!

And my partners have always let/made me do all the work. My most recent partner hated being on top because it was too much work for her to move for more than thirty seconds. Instead I was always on top and had to do ALL the work. And if she didn't come she'd say 'It's ok! It's no big deal!' and towards the end I began to think 'Of course it's ok. If you aren't helping at all then of course it's ok if you don't come."
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Old 12-29-2003, 10:32 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I'm a dervish of comedic genius myself. I have fun with it.
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Old 12-29-2003, 10:50 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I love the talk, but not into my loud moaning.
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Old 12-30-2003, 03:40 AM   #12 (permalink)
don't ignore this-->
 
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i'm reminded of Woody Allen's Everything you wanted to know about sex*

<font size=1>*but were too afraid to ask</font>
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Old 12-30-2003, 08:55 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I hate it how guys are so quiet, until they orgasm, then they usually start moaning a little bit. But I think its true that they sorta are concentrated on other things. Whenever I´m on top I´m not as noisy because I´m doing all the work.
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Old 12-30-2003, 05:06 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I'm quiet mostly, because I am typically enthralled and focused on the moment, the sensation and the intimacy.. I always kind of feel like anything I say might just be stupid... I know what my orgasm face looks like, who KNOWS what I'd sound like. :-D but try humming a merry tune while performing cunnilingus, you might find you have spider-woman who can climb the walls!!!
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Old 12-30-2003, 05:28 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I consider sex to be more like talking with emotion and body language. No need to open my mouth and fuck things up.
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Old 12-30-2003, 06:09 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I think it's part concentration and part conditioning.

Guys masturbate. A lot. We have to lest our head explodes

Because we learn at such a young age and because there is a little bit of embarassment and shame in the act we learn to do it quietly. Do it in the shower; can't let 'em know what I'm doing. Do it in bed at night; can't let 'em know what I'm doing. et cetera et cetera.

I think that habit of just being quiet carries over when we start having sex. Mix that in with fierce concentration and it's a wonder we relax enough to get anything done at all.
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Old 01-01-2004, 01:09 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Yeah, it's something like that all right!
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Old 01-01-2004, 02:05 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by guthmund
I think it's part concentration and part conditioning.

Guys masturbate. A lot. We have to lest our head explodes

Because we learn at such a young age and because there is a little bit of embarassment and shame in the act we learn to do it quietly. Do it in the shower; can't let 'em know what I'm doing. Do it in bed at night; can't let 'em know what I'm doing. et cetera et cetera.

I think that habit of just being quiet carries over when we start having sex. Mix that in with fierce concentration and it's a wonder we relax enough to get anything done at all.
Yup. That's it. Thread over. Nothing more to be said.
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Old 01-01-2004, 05:26 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I had an X tell me I looked like I was doin' my taxes while we had sex.

I guess I used to take it really serious and never smile. That's all changed... I'm to the point of laughter during orgasm.
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Old 01-01-2004, 10:19 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I'm mostly totally quiet... except for random cursing... or yelling out a bit if i'm being bitten/scratched really hard...
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Old 01-02-2004, 06:59 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Lets put it this way...

Would it be better if us guys moan and scream and go "Oh yeah Oh yeah!!! Oh fuckin yea!"

Sorry but I think I would prefer to be quiet...

Although guthmund's comments got some merit
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Old 01-02-2004, 07:41 PM   #22 (permalink)
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That link is true in many ways. I'm always busy making sure that my girl is happy and I'm doing all the right things. I've had other women in the past that were prepared to drive more often but they are rare, and even then. It's up to us guys to look after things.. just my 2 cents worth!
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Old 01-03-2004, 01:20 AM   #23 (permalink)
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The reason were quite during sex is

its hard to imagine doing your mom or sister or jillian barberie if were moaning or groaning so we keep quiet to keep the illusion going lol.......that and its not manly to make noise and if you do it once youre expected to do it every time after whether the sex is moan worthy or not.
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Old 01-03-2004, 10:11 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by rzuwik
i constantly catch myself acting totally based on the feedback i get from the lady.

but maybe it works the other way round -- if men actually gave as much feedback as women, then women would also fall into the realtime analysis and preemptive execution trap.

and, hell, how does this keep you from moaning?
It is true -- the more Lebell talks, moans, etc. giving me feedback, the more I am able to work to please him. This is very mutually satisfying as we are both pleasing each other. BTW, I love the feedback. There is a great deal of satisfaction in knowing that I'm pleasing him as much as he pleases me.
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Old 01-03-2004, 10:30 AM   #25 (permalink)
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That is the funniest thing I've read in a while!
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Old 01-03-2004, 03:04 PM   #26 (permalink)
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I talk some, make sure shes getting exactly what she wants, make sure she's yay close from touching heaven so I can bring her back down and work her up again and I dont keep anything inside in terms of moaning, etc. No this doesnt mean I exaggerate anything, I just do what I do, dont think about it.

Every time you make love to someone,a little piece of you sould die in the attempt. If it doesnt you're either not doing something right or you're just not in love.

I know a little piece of me dies every time.
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Old 01-03-2004, 08:15 PM   #27 (permalink)
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The guy in the apartment upstairs sure isn't quiet...

It was a little disconcerting the first time I heard that
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Old 01-03-2004, 11:01 PM   #28 (permalink)
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its probably the porn. it messes with your mind way too much.
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Old 01-03-2004, 11:03 PM   #29 (permalink)
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I think with lots of practice you get more vocal... at least that was the case with me... the first several times i did it i wasnt vocal at all, but as i got more comfortable with the girl(s) i became more vocal and well, i dont hold back... it feels better that way
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Old 01-25-2004, 12:35 AM   #30 (permalink)
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I 'think' part of the quietness of guys is that our orgasms aren't as intense and pleasurable as female orgasms.

Also men have to try and postpone there orgasm to last longer which equals less pleasure, while women can cum as much as they want multiple times without worrying about being embarrased cumming too quickly.

Sorry for the late post
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Old 01-25-2004, 12:37 AM   #31 (permalink)
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i usually don't talk much myself, it's usually the girl that does the most talking. usually all I say is when I ask them what they want and does it feel good
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Old 01-25-2004, 07:21 AM   #32 (permalink)
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I think blaming it on porn is like blaming mashed potatos on the mixer.

At least part of the reason is that from a very early age when men learn to masturbate they are doing so secretly to avoid being caught, embarrased, etc so they do so in quiet and it just becomes a learned thing. The good part is that you can unlearn that and get your howl & growl on!
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Old 01-25-2004, 10:00 AM   #33 (permalink)
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I think it would be quite cool to sing patriotic songs during sex. But I never have.

I think, just personally, I would agree with TM... although I dont think porn has a lot to do with it in my case. It's just a personal, I dont know if it is also a masculine, instinct for me to try and contain my emotions, never to show any more signs of feeling something than you can help.

I mean, the same reason as men cry less than women I would think... somewhere you are conditioned to hold it all down, and keep your feelings inside.
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Old 01-25-2004, 10:42 AM   #34 (permalink)
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I am extremely quiet in bed, so much so that a girlfriend who deemed herself quiet thought she was loud when compared to me.

very funny link, by the way I thoroughly enjoyed it.
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Old 01-25-2004, 11:10 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Wow, this is so spot on.

The comments get right to the point too. Learned behaviour from masturbation and deep thought make perfect sense.

I'm going to try Strange Famous' suggestion of singing patriotic songs though.
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Old 01-25-2004, 12:14 PM   #36 (permalink)
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I don't know about you gus but I'm really loud in bed especially when she's giving head or on top riding my cock.
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Old 01-25-2004, 12:28 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by fik
I 'think' part of the quietness of guys is that our orgasms aren't as intense and pleasurable as female orgasms.

Also men have to try and postpone there orgasm to last longer which equals less pleasure, while women can cum as much as they want multiple times without worrying about being embarrased cumming too quickly.

Sorry for the late post
He pretty much just summed up my thoughts.
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Old 01-25-2004, 12:34 PM   #38 (permalink)
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I agree with fik as well, i had never thought about it that way
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Old 01-25-2004, 12:40 PM   #39 (permalink)
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Luckily my gf has a hair trigger. I can literally make her orgasm with a simple change in angle and about 20-30 strokes scraping her super sensitive gspot. I do hold off so I can give her about 6-10 orgasms per fuck tho. I make noise when I hit a good spot for me, but since it's a lot harder for me to get off I have to concentrate so I don't say much.
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Old 01-25-2004, 02:28 PM   #40 (permalink)
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Ok, so I'm pretty sure we all recognize that women are much more complex when it comes to sex. There's all these places you have to pay attention to like the clitoris and boobs and ears and the neck and the list keeps going. Well, that's just one of the senses! We (generally speaking, now) need stimulus from the other ones, too! Sight and hearing are one of the two most important sense next to touch. (Don't believe me? Check out my Human Sexuality textbook, Sight and Hearing are listed *before* Touch.)

Every wonder why candlelight and rose petals are a cliché? Well, now you know.


Make noises, guys! (Of course, if she tells you to shut up, then by all means listen to her. However, I doubt any woman will tell you to be quiet.)

P.S. And by noises, I don't mean sleazy cheap porn noises like, "Oh baby, that's the way Daddy likes it." Unless, of course, she asks you to sound like that! We're all different. :P
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