Love Addicts Anonymous
 

As I've understood, a love addict is, in it's rawest form, is someone who cannot stand being alone. Even if it's with the wrong person... having companionship is better than being lonely. And if you ARE alone, your life seems miserable. Even with money, friends and family surrounding you.

Well I'm a Love Addict. And it feels like it's a quality that is built into me. Something that I'll always be. Anyone have any insight on this horrible addiction? Perhaps a cure... or at least a medicine to help pass the cravings. I ask this because after many many failed relationships I have recently failed another one. By failed I mean that most of my failed relationships end with the girl saying "I'm just not ready for more" (ie: family, marriage, kids yada yada). This recent one, I only saw her for about a month and a half so I wasn't "In Love" yet. But it still hurts and I think it's mostly because I dread being lonely again. I also dread having to start fresh again. I'm not necessarily missing HER but more missing having SOMEONE there.

By the way... I'm 32, attractive (I look 27), no kids, have enough money to own my own home and have all the expensive boy toys I've ever wanted or would want in the future, I'm surrounded by good friends, and my family is spread around the country (no local relatives). I seriously could be a movie depicted "player" if my heart wasn't so good. But in no way do I not have the tools to break my addiction. Just can't seem to put the pieces together you know?

P.S. - Although depression may be a part of my problem. I want to take care of the source and not fix the symptom unless it's the only choice. The source of course I think is my Love Addiction.

Bleh, love is great.. don't take it for granted..

Love is special, don't just fall into it / get out of it..

I loved my ex gf and some times feel like it was actually more, I would do anything for her even though she is my ex and has hurt me to an extent where i've wanted to kill myself - but I know deep down that she made me happy for the time that were together, which is why I don't want to take love for granted or just be "in love" for the hell of it.

It's special, SO SPECIAL that I would die for it, andI just don't fall in love with any person.. it takes time, and just hte right chemistry to work from both sides :)

the only thing i would recommend is to try to not be so obvious about wanting to be in love. it sounds like game playing, but i think if you show your hand too early (or at all), it is sometimes perceived as being frantic or needy, and that's not attractive to anyone.

if you are surrounded by great friends.........focus on being with & appreciating them for a while. if you have great friends, i don't know how you can call yourself lonely.

Wise words, IMO.

You need to be a bit more out-going. You may think you are, but the love addict personality exists because it feels a need to fill an extra slot of security and reassurance. You need to feel needed, basically. You sound like a decent person. BE that decent person. Go out and have fun- joke around, hang out, date for the sake of dating and meeting new people, and not for the purpose of finding love. If you look for love, all you'll find are people. However- if you go out and look for people, you will surely find love, or love will find you. And try not to be so clingy, girls see that as desperation. Desperation NEVER makes for love. Love comes- it is not a process, an agenda, or a checklist.

- reformed Love Addict (yup. it's true.)

I think I may suffer from this. I hate being w/o companionship and usually feel like there is just this massive void in my life without it. it comes in spurts though. Sometimes I am just ok, and other times i am downright miserable. I dunno how to really regulate it.

Well, that certainly isnt me. I like being alone much more than with people. I function fine in social environments, I just dont like them as much. I usually go about a month of going out on the weekends before I need to spend a weekend without other people.

I love being as social as I can.. heheheheh multiples to heheheheh... prolly more sexually addictive than love addictive.. But, I do love men.. well one long hard part of them.. hehehehe

I hate being alone...but I guess I'm used to it.

I enjoy someone's company...but I won't to the point I'm miserable with that person.

Some people NEED someone, I "want" someone.

Will I do anything for love?
YES.
I would move my life.
But at the same time I want someone who's sane, responsible, good hearted & will meet me halfway.

Because if they aren't willing to meet you halfway,
then they don't really appreciate your love, it's all on their own terms.

I've observed this again & again...it's a dance that takes TWO.

I feel this is part of why how I feel is wrong. Yes love is worth changing your life for. But on the same token... you shouldn't have to change your life just to be in love. If that makes sense. I feel like my willingness to change for them is me compromising who I am and therefore wrong.

You are who you are... that should not need to be changed for someone to love you back. In a lot of ways that sounds logical. But again... in a lot of ways it's impossible to have love without molding at least a little. It's a grey area of how much is too much? The difference between a controlled habit and an addiction.