Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community (https://thetfp.com/tfp/)
-   Tilted Sexuality (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-sexuality/)
-   -   Sex Change= What Would you Do? (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-sexuality/37505-sex-change-what-would-you-do.html)

la petite moi 11-29-2003 12:06 PM

Sex Change= What Would you Do?
 
So I don't know how I thought this up, but I'm wondering- If you began dating someone, and found out that they had had a sex change previously, what would you do?

PLEASE READ THE POLL QUESTION CAREFULLY!

lurkette 11-29-2003 12:11 PM

I would stay with them. It wouldn't change who they are. It might be a different story if they were GOING to have a sex change, but even then I probably wouldn't have a problem with it - I like playing with men and women, and his/her personality would be the same.

Halx 11-29-2003 01:03 PM

I think it would be fairly obvious from the get-go. Sex change operations still turn out like preschool crafts. I don't believe you can get erections naturally with a reconstructed penis, you have to have a pump. Man-vaginas also cannot self-lubricate.

Either way.. no thanks. I'm outie.

raeanna74 11-29-2003 01:30 PM

No I would not continue dating them. They would have either decieved me to begin with or we weren't going out long enough to become very close. It would take a lot of work for me to get past my notions of what defines a woman or a man physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Chemical Smoo 11-29-2003 01:51 PM

Nope... Lies all Lies, and um I think that would make me a Metro, and that I am not.

Rlyss 11-29-2003 04:16 PM

If I was dating someone and they told me they had had a sex change, I wouldn't continue dating them. Not because I think it's necessarily wrong, but because I thought they were one thing (a woman) but they weren't (in my mind).

If I was dating someone and they told me they wanted or were going to have a sex change I wouldn't continue with it either. Perhaps their personality might stay the same but I'm in that relationship partly because I'm attracted to that person on a physical level too, and if that changed so drastically then I think my feelings would change. I think that's one of the main differences between friendships and relationships - that physical attraction.

spived2 11-29-2003 04:28 PM

Nope. In my mind, they're still a man, even if they have an operation to make them into somewhat a women. That just doesn't sit right at all to me.

skysooner 11-29-2003 08:41 PM

Not for me either. I'm all for open-mindedness, but there is something about the truly female psyche that I love too much.

sillygirl 11-29-2003 08:55 PM

So, I voted before I read the question on accident (:mad: ). Oh well.

I wouldn't keep dating them. I agree with raeanna. They'd have to have been lying to me/ deceiving me to begin with (I wouldn't date someone who I KNEW had had the operation - too wierd for me, and I wouldn't feel comfortable). And no matter what body parts they were surgically given, they aren't real. Those body parts, as Halx said, do not function the way that 'real' ones would. I love men. I love A man, to be more exact.

Anomaly_ 11-29-2003 09:25 PM

I'm kind of surprised even five males said they would continue to date the person. Maybe it's a case of reading the poll too quickly. In any event, I can't see this being anything other than a hypothetical situation unless one person is oblivious and the other is very deceptive, or both.

tritium 11-29-2003 10:06 PM

I would drop that hot mama like a load of bricks. Once a man, always a man in my, debatably ignorant, opinion.

hobo 11-29-2003 10:08 PM

I couldn't handle being with a woman that was once a man. It would just be too weird because then s/he wouldn't really be a woman.

Cervantes 11-29-2003 10:44 PM

I'm with hobo here 100%
It's not a woman, it is a man made to look like a woman.
No way I would be able to have a relationship somone like that.

Sho Nuff 12-01-2003 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tritium
I would drop that hot mama like a load of bricks. Once a man, always a man in my, debatably ignorant, opinion.
Nothing ignorant about that at all. Im just shocked 9 guys (some by error) said they would stay. Anyone willing to explain that?

aurigus 12-01-2003 01:23 PM

Thats too much emotional (and physical?) baggage for me to deal with....

Another question would be ... if you found out your girl/guy used to be a hermaphrodite, what would you do? When looking up the correct spelling of hermaphrodite, I came up with this link:

http://www.angelfire.com/ca2/BornHermaphrodite/

Scarey, and sad at the same time!

Panopticon 12-01-2003 01:34 PM

I would dump "her". Definitely. Not only would it be all weird, but its just like...why are you just bringing this to my attention now? You lied to me for however long...

lurkette 12-01-2003 02:36 PM

I'm a little shocked at how many people would dump the person. I guess it depends on how long you'd been dating, and how much of your relationship was based on sex. If I found out Ratbastid was once a woman, I'd have no problem. I love him (her? ;)) no matter what, and I can't see that changing because of chromosomes. And while you're all entitled to your opinions and preferences, it's hard enough to be different and HONEST without being afraid someone would dump you when they learn the truth.

I have a corrollary question:

for those who would dump the person because they were deceitful, at what point would they have to disclose this information for you to NOT dump them? right up front? third date? before you have sex? Would it be the same if you found out that had been married before and never told you, or is it just the gender-bending factor?

numist 12-01-2003 02:51 PM

Im kinda iffy about the gender bending, Im fairly prude, but I think I could do it and get over it.

If Im going out with the person already, I must have some reason to stay that way: I'm the pickiest person I know....
But, defying the odds, not single despite that fact :lol:

Mantus 12-01-2003 03:26 PM

Depends on the circumstance.

If they were born with both organs and their parents chose one, then it would be acceptable and I could get used to that.

If on the other hand the person decided at the age of 25 that he were a woman trapped in a man’s body then I would dump him(her) right there. I am not about to commit myself with some one who is that sexually imbalanced and in my opinion, confused.

pocon1 12-01-2003 04:00 PM

I don't think that a person would be required to tell you their past history unless you were truly getting serious. Until that point, they were not lying to you. If they believe they are one sex, then they are.
Now, I am not saying that I would definitely continue in a relationship, but I would explore it and give the person the benefit of the doubt. I think that there are many people in the world, and not all of them are the same as me and my tidy little categories. I think there are people whose minds and psyche are one way, and their body is another.
One more thing, gay men swear that they have the best orgasms, because they have so much practice with the same equipment, and they understand it better than women. Well, a sex-changed person should give you the best of both worlds; experience of a guy, and female parts to play with. Hmm, could be interesting.

Cervantes 12-01-2003 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by lurkette
for those who would dump the person because they were deceitful, at what point would they have to disclose this information for you to NOT dump them? right up front? third date? before you have sex? Would it be the same if you found out that had been married before and never told you, or is it just the gender-bending factor?
Chromosomes are part of the basic structure of a human being they determine what sex we are, what speices we are, how many fingers, toes, noses etc.
The problem with changing sex is that the transformation is only on the surface. A sexchange is nothing but cosmetic surgery pushed to extreme.

The problem isn't that it "was" a guy, the problem is that it still is a guy who's just made to look like a woman. It's no different from a crossdresser, it's just that the illusion is better. If the change could someday be complete, that the chromosomes actually were changeable then I would probarbly reconsider my viewpoint.
But untill then a man is a man and a woman is a woman no matter how many surgeries and hormonetreatments they go through to change that.
I'm not passing judgment on those who "change" their sex, I'm just saying that up untill the day that science can make a man into a fertile woman with XX chromosomes and vice versa for a woman, the surgery remains to be a very severe mutilation of a perfectly functional body.
Hopefully some day gene theraphy will be able to exchange one chromosome with another and the change made perfect, at least I hope so for those who want to change their sex completly.
So the problem I have with it isn't that they want to change sex or that they feel that they are in the wrong body. It is simply because their sex is still a surgicly created illusion.

omega2K4 12-02-2003 12:10 AM

If my girlfriend had a sex change, I wouldn't break up with her. I love her too much and have been with her way too long to just drop our relationship like that. Also, can women have sex changes!? How would they do it? Sew the vagina up and create a false-phallus?

Sho Nuff 12-02-2003 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lurkette
I have a corrollary question:

for those who would dump the person because they were deceitful, at what point would they have to disclose this information for you to NOT dump them? right up front? third date? before you have sex? Would it be the same if you found out that had been married before and never told you, or is it just the gender-bending factor?

Oh I think definately BEFORE SEX!

Bloodslick 12-02-2003 07:44 AM

I don't understand the lot of you.

If a person has a sex change operation, it's because they feel that they are, mentally and emotionally, SO much closer to the other sex that they go through an operation they know to be not fully functional and somewhat "deforming", after a great deal of counselling.

They're not a man who has been made into a woman. They're a woman who was trapped in a man's body and was so desperate to get out that they went through not one, but a gradual progression of several surgical procedures.

If I had gotten involved with them and hadn't realized, then I'd stay involved. People who go through sex changes are not trying to fool anyone. They're trying to make their physical appearance match who they believe they are inside.

Cervantes 12-02-2003 08:35 AM

Bloodslick,

I can understand you viewpoint and symphatize with it to a certain extent. It is just that I can't get over the fact that "she" is not a woman in "her" chromosomes. One of the fundamental pieces needed is missing. (does it show that genetics is a very big part of my life :))

Elitegibson 12-02-2003 08:51 AM

She's a man, baby! There's no way I'd continue going out with girl if I found out she used to be a man. I'd also pull an Ace Ventura and take lots of showers and burn my clothes.

herostar 12-02-2003 02:43 PM

that would freak me out waaayyyyy toooo much

motdakasha 12-02-2003 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Chemical Smoo
Nope... Lies all Lies, and um I think that would make me a Metro, and that I am not.
You're not heterosexual? It sounds like you have a misunderstanding of the term. Metrosexual typically describes effeminate heterosexual males. Urbandictionary.com concurs with me. http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...etrosexual&f=1

Quote:

Originally posted by Bloodslick
I don't understand the lot of you.

If a person has a sex change operation, it's because they feel that they are, mentally and emotionally, SO much closer to the other sex that they go through an operation they know to be not fully functional and somewhat "deforming", after a great deal of counselling.

It's not just that they believe they should be the opposite sex, being the "wrong" gender causes them to hate who they are, depression, and anxiety.

Quote:

Originally posted by Cervantes
Bloodslick,

I can understand you viewpoint and symphatize with it to a certain extent. It is just that I can't get over the fact that "she" is not a woman in "her" chromosomes. One of the fundamental pieces needed is missing. (does it show that genetics is a very big part of my life :))

From their point of view, everything in their bodies (hormones, genetics, etc.) tell them they should be the opposite sex. So, they would probably believe that their chromosomes should have been "she"(or "he) and that the operation helps them to achieve that.
From my Abnormal Psychology textbook, "Gender Identity Disorder is diagnosed when individuals believe that they were born with the wrong sex's genitals and are fundamentally persons of the opposite sex..." To them, they are matching their reproductive organs to what everything else in their bodies tell them they are. Also from my textbook is a story about a doctor who underwent reassignment surgery. "All of my life I harbored the strongest conviction that I was inappropriately assigned to the wrong gender--that of a man--when inside I knew myself to be a woman."

So, while I understand that you feel a reassigned person is not truly that gender, you have to understand that they feel they are the gender they were supposed to be as much as they can possibly be given their circumstances.


Honestly, I think the answer to this question is directly related to "Is beauty only skin deep?" If you answer yes, it basically means that what's on the outside really does matter. If you answer no, your feelings for that person transcend physical appearance. There's no doubt in my mind that people who answered yes think it isn't the same question and that reassigned genders are completely different story. I disagree; let's leave it at that. Maybe it's obvious by now, but my answer is that it doesn't matter if the person had reassignment ("corrective") surgery. I was disappointed to see the response was overwhelmingly yes.

Evil Milkman 12-02-2003 04:37 PM

I'd want to say that I wouldn't break up, but I can tell you that I'd feel pretty damned uncomfortable around that person.

Cervantes 12-03-2003 06:54 AM

motdakasha:

Yes to them they are women, I can understand that, I have no problems with it on any psychological level, you are what you choose. It is just that "she" was born a man and in "her" chromosomes "she" is still a man. Maybe it is a light streak of homophobia or it may be our insticts telling us that a relationship with "her" could not under any circumstance result in any offspring.
I'm honestly not sure why I would break it off but I know for sure that I would.

rocinante2003 12-03-2003 07:51 AM

Its not the sex change that bothers me, the fact they kept it from you would, so no go.

vveronica 12-03-2003 09:53 AM

if they could make a girl look big enough and make it work tooo now that would be cool..


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 01:27 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360