feelgood

My mom was telling me this story on MSN earlier:

She and her husband was out shopping since like 5 this morning and they got shitload of presents and stuff and came home to drop it all off before going out again to get more. My sister was out with her bf and my brother was at hockey. But it turns out that my 17 yrs old sister wasn't out with her bf, they were still home. Mom found that her dog was sitting outside of my sister's bedroom waiting to be let in. She notices that the door is locked and she knocks on it and somehow gets in to find that my sister is buck naked and her boyfriend is shocked while putting his pants on. She kicks him out and she's so mad that once she cools down, she's gonna have a talk with my sister.

Now, I can understand my mom being pissed off about what happened. Her rules are no fuckin in the house. Whose parent doesn't have that? But, the problem is this: She knew that they were having sex! It's just plain stupid to walk in a room that you know a couple is having sex in it. My dad once walked in on me without knocking but he was like, whatever and left the room. Perhaps its because of the fact that I was 19 and he couldn't do squat about it.

I know there's both parents and some kids on this forum, what's your take on this?

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sailor

Eh, this should probably go in Tilted Sexuality.

Im not quite sure what you are asking... Yeah, it sucks that they got walked in on, but there isnt much she can do. Your mom got mad, for a pretty good reason, and there isnt much your sister can do about it.

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feelgood

I'm asking if what my mom did was right. Nobody should just walk in a room where there's a couple having sex, especially when he/she knew that was happening...

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yournamehere

You're acting like your mom was trespassing in her own house. Other than a pe-arranged, mutually agreed upon plan, your mother has every right to enter any room of her house whenever she wants.

Or is your sister paying the mortgage? If that's the case , I would say your mom was wrong.

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empu

What your mom did was right. Your sister broke a family rule and your mom was enforcing the house law. It sounds like she was quite decent about it under the circumstances (e.g., knocking first.) I don't think there is any fundamental right to privacy in this situation.

Further, the generalization that "nobody should just walk in..." really doesn't hold up. What if (non-statutory) rape is suspected? What if your sister were 12 years old? I would even go so far as to say that under certain circumstances parents have a moral obligation to "just walk in."

anti fishstick

i have to agree.
how else are you going to enforce a house rule if you don't walk in? you have to be authoritative.

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ninety09

I think that what your mother did is very disrespectful, especially since she knew what they were doing. The least she could do was wait for them to get dressed.
If that happened to me, I would feel very humiliated and disrespected. I don't understand why any parents would want to make their children feel like that.

My parents don't :\ Why would they? and where does your mother think that they'll have sex if they can't do it home?

santafe5000

Well , it's your mom's house and her rules should be followed. However, if the door was locked and she knew what was going on, I don't see the use of forcing your way in to the room to see what was going on. Chlidren deserve some privacy, even in their parents home. If no sex is the rule, the BF should abide by that and take your sister elsewhere.

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raeanna74

If the rules are "No sex in the house" then she has every right to walk into any room she wants whenever she wants. This probably got a clear message to sis' boyfriend that her house is not a good place to get it on. It won't be happening again I'm sure. If she's breaking the rules she can cound on her privacy being invaded. Obey the house rules or expect the consequences. Some kids need a little harsher wake up call than others. That could also be one reason for the invasion on her and not on you.

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sailor

Exactly. Your mother did nothing wrong--she had every right to walk in there. Its your sisters own fault, she (and you) have nothing to complain about.

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Kaos

If the rules are explicitly NO sex in her house, then walking in and stopping it is perfectly fine.

I don't think I know any parent that would just wait outside the door until they "finished" to start yelling and dishing out punishment.

Halx

My house doesn't have a 'no fucking' rule. However if there is a rule like that in YOUR house, then your sis deserves all she gets from your momma.

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Evil Milkman

My mother sometimes walks in on me... Kind of embarrassing, yes. But, I'm 19 and I don't think they'll ever be any sort of ground rules like that.

feelgood

Well, my mom and her husband fucks so does that warrents a yelling match between my bro and sis and my mom?

Guess not

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Journeyman

Well it sounds like your mother isn't upset about him not wearing a rubber, which means he probably was, so there's the bright side to look at.

Sapper

It is a bummer that your mom isn't mature enough to consider that at least your sister is having sex at home as opposed to any number of worse places.

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numberfive

Does your brother or sister pay rent? If so then yeah, if not then they can either accept the rules or leave. That's what my mom told me and I never thought it was an unfair rule. Luckily for me I never got caught at home.

Mature? Doesn't seem like the right word to go there. She was pissed that her daughter, whom she feeds and takes care of, was breaking a house rule. If she agreed to not have sex in the house then she is expected to take care of her business elsewhere. It's a bummer his sister isn't mature enough to follow the rules.

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Sapper

No. Mature is exactly the word to be using.

She needs a reality check. People have sex - hell; even _she_ had sex.

Just grow up and accept it as a part of life. Should the daughter also not be allowed to masturbate in the house? That must be equally evil.

Puritan principles - antiquated and hipocritical.

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wry1

Yes, it does. The fundamental difference between your mom & her husband getting it on and anyone else in the house doing so is this: it's their house.

Don't like it? Move. That simple.

Look, I realize that kids will be kids, and that when I was a teenager I had more than a few bunk-ups in Mom & Dad's house - but it was always with the realization that if I got caught, that the shit would really hit the fan! I was breaking the rules every time I "hooked-up", and knew it. I got lucky (in more ways than one) in that I never got caught, but if I had, I really wasn't in any position to complain about whatever punishment I got.

If your sister is wanting to hook-up with her boyfriend, then the majority that have posted replies has the right idea....go somewhere else. Otherwise, take what your Mom did in stride and let it go.

Lasereth

I don't see how a few people are acting like they can do what they want if they're the right age. I'm 20 and I have to do every damned thing my parents say or I get kicked out (I've been kicked out three times already). I have to do the chores they ask, come home when they say, and basically be their servants while at their house. Some people may have parents that consider the home everyone's home, but my parents don't. This isn't my house. This isn't my home. This is where I live, and that's it. I can get kicked out, and I do about once a year. When I turned 13 my house wasn't mine anymore -- it was my parents, and I did what they said or got the hell out. Ha ha, I figured more people were in this situation! Hell, if my parents considered this my house I'd have my girlfriend over every once in a while (we're not allowed to be here alone, and I can't close the door if my parents are home and she's here).

Her mother is much more forgiving, however. I'm thankful for that (it's our only place to hang out).

Umm...sorry for going off-topic. If it's your mom's rules, then she had no business fuckin' while they were gone.

-Lasereth

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ickma

I hate it when your jacking off and the dog walks in the room. He always gives you this look that makes you feel guilty.

Mael

uh, just because people have sex, and his mother has obviuosly had sex, doesnt' mean that his mom cannot make the rules while his sister lives under mom's roof. whether you agree with it or not doesn't matter. it sounds like she could be 12 and you'd still say it was the mom's fault, because, after all, people have sex, get over it.

Kruzen

Least she was fucking at home where its safe? hehehe.

guthmund

Exactly, I would rather know they're having sex in the house, then in some gnarly ass stained backseat or friend's couch.

But if your Mom pays the bills, she makes the rules. So, if the rule is 'no fuckin' then there should be 'no fuckin' Obviously the rules do not apply to the rule makers.

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Cynthetiq

my house my rules....

why i moved out at 17. period. i wasn't interested in my parents rules. heck I would have moved at 16 had someone allowed me to sign contracts or had i known about emancipation.

my parents are great friends of mine, but I still don't want to live like they want to live.

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Sapper

Wow. There sure are a lot of puritans here.

Get over it people - you can be your own little dictator but you will only harm your relationship with your child.

And people wonder why america is so bent ... ?? ..

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Rubyee

Sapper, I don't think that it is a "Puritan" thing to not want your child having sex in your own home. I think it is a normal thing. I know that I would not want my 17 year old daughter to be having sex in my home. Does that make me a Puritan? No. That makes me a concerned parent. The question here isn't whether a 17 year old girl can have sex or not, but whether she should be allowed to in her parent's house.

Essentially the question is, if somebody does something they are not supposed to be doing, should they be stopped from doing it?

Umm... yes.

When I started having sex, I was mature enough to tell my parents, and to tell them what precautions I was taking against STD's and pregnancy. At that point, they were not pleased, but all they asked was that I not have sex while they were home. Simple enough. And I followed it, too. It was a perfectly reasonable request since it was their house. I didn't like it, because I was only 16 and they were home all the time, but I followed it. I had enough respect for my parents to do so.

If I had broken that rule, they would have every right to interrupt me and stop whatever I was doing. It wouldn't be disrespectful toward me, because my parents would have just been holding up their end of the bargian.

Like I said, I didn't like the rule, so I moved out when I was old enough. And now that I pay rent, I know that if someone living with me for free does not follow the rules, I have every right to stop them, and will.

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gloveshot3

i,m a dad so i might look at this differently, but if i walked in on one of my kids getting it on with someone, i'd ask if they were using protection, and maybe give 'em a few pointers, and the ask if i could watch for a while.

supafly

I can have sex at home and at my gf home. My and her parents don't mind. But if there is a rule in the house you should stick to it.

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LewisCouch

The issue of maturity is proper. The mother is mature, the daughter is not, and also, is quite disrespectful.

Simple rule. The daughter should exercise some self control and learn to respect her parents wishes. She is after all living in their home.

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ninety09

I would really like to hear one good reason why parents wouldn't want to their kids to have sex in their house...

spived2

Probably because they don't want them having sex period, and when it's in their own house it's like saying "hey look, you don't want me having sex but I'm going to anyway AND do it under your roof!"

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Dragonlich

One question: does the mother have sex with her husband while the kids are in the house? If so, she's a tad hipocritical... Would she like it if her daughter were to walk into the bedroom while she's boinking? I think not. IMHO she should accept that the daughter is having sex, even though the rules say she shouldn't. Rules are there to be broken, and if the rule is unrealistic, it should be changed.

At least that's the way I was brought up... Perhaps I'm too reasonable.

And of course, I agree with the posters that point at the other options: cheap motel, backseat of car. I'd rather have my kids doing "it" in a safe environment, with a supply of condoms around.

feelgood

Actually that did happened to my sister, she once walked in on my mom having sex with the hub. So she says.

I can see how most of you are quite correct, it really comes down on what kind of family you are. Some people says that what my mom did was right because its her house, her rules. Others says that what she did wasn't right because she wasn't giving my sister any privacy.

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Baldrick

Personally, I don't like the "no sex" rule. But whether you agree with it or not doesn't factor into this. Bottom line is it's your Mom's house, and her rules. Period...

And the argument that Mom and her husband have sex so why can't we just doesn't fly. We all earn a few rights and priveledges when we grow up, and one of them is making rules to guide our children that we don't have to follow any more! My girls are 8 and 5 years old (God help me soon), and they are obviously not yet allowed to drink. Does that mean when I have a beer, they should be allowed to as well? If not, does that make me a hypocrite?

I've seen the "mature" word floated around a couple of times in this thread. I think if your sister didn't want this to happen, then the mature thing would be to sit down and discuss with your Mom exactly why she thinks the rule doesn't work. If that doesn't change Mom's mind, then the rule must be adhered to. That's not just the mature thing to do, more importantly that shows your Mom a little respect. I would hope that your Mom had enough respect for your sister to listen to the argument, but that's a topic for another thread...

Many people don't think speeding or smoking pot should be crimes. However, they still have to suffer the consequences if they're caught.

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Cycler

I was once interrupted at my gf's house in high school, her mom walked in just like in the story related that started this thread. We paid for it. Made a mistake, bam, busted. Deal with it and go on. Justfying it doesn't work.<p> They fucked up literally and figuratively.

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Sapper

I find it absurd that parents try to manipulate such a natural thing. What are you afraid of?

It definately boils down to lack of maturity - by all parties. If you would just discuss the risks, the morality and the courtesies .. there would be no problem.

Then again, perhaps there are more problems than just control issues ..

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sexymama

As a mom, I am fine with my kids having sex in my house. However, I don't want them doing it when the younger syblings can walk in on them. (There is a large age span and younger are currently only 7 and 9.) Also, at one point, one of my sons was being disrespectful to me to the point of having to involve the law. At that time I learned that it is illegal for "children under age 18" to have sex, period. Therefore I was unable to allow him to have sex in my house as I could not actively support an illegal activity.

Also, every parent has a right to make their own rules. They own the house -- every room in it -- and have a right to access whatever room they wish too when the wish too. (I believe I'm too respectful to walk in. I'd knock and say "you have 5 minutes to get downstairs" -- but your mom had every right.) I'm afraid though, that what she did is take an opportunity to discuss your sister's sexuality and safety with her, and turn it into a me vs. you situation. Sad, IMHO.

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rockzilla

It's been said a bunch here, it was how I was raised and how I'll raise my kids.

Follow my rules or get the hell out of my house

shakran

Uhhh. If you felt humiliated, maybe you'd think twice before doing it again? I don't understand why people think children are made of glass and have to be handled with extreme care at all times lest we hurt their precious little feelings. Seems to me that if we worried more about correcting their bad behavior and less about causing deep psychological scars through normal discipline such as saying "don't do that" we'd have better behaved kids.

If your house has a rule, you can either follow it or get out. If your mom says no drinking coke in the house, then you either don't drink coke in the house or you find somewhere to live that DOES allow it.

I can understand why your mom wouldn't want to be in the house while her kid's having sex. That's gonna make her uncomfortable. Hell, that's pretty lenient. When I was growing up, the rule was no sex anywhere.