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Euphanisms for masturbating
Inspired by the what do you call sex thread.
My favorite: flogging the dolphin beating the bishop slapping the one eyed snake |
get the basics out of the way:
jerkin' it wackin' off petting the monkey cleaning the pipes fucking rosy |
Sorry, I am only posting the link because there are waaaay too many synonyms for beating the meat (hey, there's one):
http://www.allaboutsex.org/mastsynonyms1.html#words1 |
taking care of myself
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pumping the crowd up
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i simply refer to it as wanking. it works.
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I call it masturbation or gooing.
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reflecting
jerkin' the gherkin' slingin' yogurt rubbing one out |
What's wrong with wanking or jacking off? Masturbating is for when i talk to girls about it, hehe.
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Whipping a batch off by hand
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Stroking one out.
"Can I call you back? I'm in the middle of stroking one out." |
flogging your log
wanking your crank beating your meat spanking your monkey pettin the lil fella wanking masturbating pulling off rubbing one out having a bat a larryup |
What about female masturbation?? No one's gonna talk about pearl diving?
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I call masturbation the 'bonus of the day.'
" And how are you today sir,?" " Not bad thanks, think it's going to be a bonus of the day." |
waxing bobo.
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Rock out with the cock out.
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I'm partial to "rubbing one out" or "doing the laundry"
An old roommate of mine used to refer to it as "dorking the donkey" Whatever the hell that means. :) |
Thats alot of euphanisms. Personally i just prefer to "whack it" but whatever ><
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Going Number 3
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Plan B
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Quote:
wanking. |
Quote:
Tom Waits once referred to it as "Making the scene with a magazine".... "Hey, I'm not weird about it or anything... I don't tie myself up first..." |
The new one I heard today is "taking myself for a walk."
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He's in the other room "roughin' up the suspect!"
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Having an evening in with Palmala
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Quote:
"give it a tug" or "tuggin it" |
For myself, I call it rubbing one out or going on a date with BOB, depending on the scenario.
When refering to males, I usually refer to it as good old-fashioned jerking off. |
Going out with Mrs Palmer and her five daughters!
Knocking the top off! Five knuckle shuffle! Belting one off! Poor man's porn! Jerkin the Gerkin! :thumbsup: |
Well women masturbate too you know:
Stirring the troth twiddling the furry grotto polish my pearl giving the bearded lady a poke in the nose saving a spot in hell Beat the beaver Composing on the single key piano Digging a trench Digging for clam Dip your digits Engaging in a hot button issue Fiddle with your middle Fluff your muff The Harmonious hand hump Itch the ditch Ladle out the gravy boat Paddling the pink canoe Play poker Play the clitar Play couch hockey for one Spelunking Split your slit Squeeze the peach Stirring the clam chowder ... ... ... i feel dirty *sulks in the shower* |
I dunno about slang for masturbation but I call semen "The Swimteam".
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"Taking matters into your own hands" i.e. There comes a time in every man's life where you just have to take matters into your own hands.
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choking your chicken,
lonely buisness trips. |
Having fun with the gun
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I got a laugh out of 'pulling my pud' the first time I heard it, but my favourite is
"I'm gonna go anger some Catholic Gods..." |
shooting the sheriff and waiting for the possy to arive!
And a date with Jill - if you put your right hand out with the plam away it spells out jill... hehe |
Random generator and the original 14 page list
...and a truly original one: Building my LEGO fortress. |
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